ONE OR THE OTHER WILL EVENTUALLY INITIATE SEX, WHETHER THEY GET DRUNK OR HIGH OR ARE JUST HORNY AND LONELY ONE DAY.

hmmm...are you drunk or high or horny or lonely?

S WILL EVENTUALLY POST ON EVERY THREAD AT SORABJI, WHETHER SHE IS DRUNK OR HIGH OR JUST HORNY AND LONELY TODAY IS STILL UNKNOWN.

S IS BEST FRIENDS WITH HER DONUT.

NATE IS BEST FRIENDS WITH HIS LEATHER CHEERIO.

Leather cheerio? Is this some fascinating S&M toy?

Well a cheerio does have a hole in it.

I watched "The Night Porter" last night. Whoo, Nazis and S&M and controversy galore. Scintillating, right? No. It was appallingly dull. WTF was this movie trying to say, anyway? And if it was trying to say what I think it was trying to say, why did it do such an poor (and irritating) job of it? Bah.

Sliding Doors was on tv. How I hate Gywenth Paltrow. But I couldn't stop watching. And worse of all I cried at the end. I'm such a fuckup

Something German aparently....

i watched the Acid House last night, or parts there of while developing some film. Its a film of 3 short stories by the same writer of TrainSpotting. HOLY HEAVY COCKNEY!!! It was subtitled it was so heavy at times. It was funny and it was sad. The best one was the last story about "Top Dog Coco"....this guy who takes a dose of Mario Bros, trips and somehow mentally switches bodies with a baby being born at his peak.

it's messed up. . . and that fly it's a fuckin kick-a-boot ya fuckin cunt

more like... is afooken kikboooot ya fooken coont

ah yes it's one of my favorite things to say

The reason that I say men and women cannot be friends is because I have seen the situation one too many times. Though, on the other hand, I have never slept with any of my good guy friends. Yea.........I'm starting to wonder if I'm making any sense at all. As for you ANTIGONE, WHAT??????? You'll choke on your words when I make you swallow them.

i keep wanting to say something really filthy to you....not AT you, just in response to you. something along the lines of come gurgling sphincters or something....ya know? but im just at a loss.

If sex never enters the equation, I think it's entirely possible. Once it does, things get messy.

It's possible even after sex has entered the equation. But maybe not during, you know? I will stand as proof of that.

Yeah well screw you too Xyrea, I don't know about the other guys here but I Can't exactly conrol where the jizzum goes ok.... Sorry it gets messy, use a towel.

i have tight cum control. i could knock a fly off a dead horse's ass. well, i mean, if i were fucking something other than the dead horse's ass. anyone could knock a fly off a dead horse's ass if they were fucking the dead horse in the ass.

*receives mental picture of patrick fucking a dead horse's ass.* ewwwwww. it doesn't help that i'm listening to kansas right now.

why ME? nate's the sicko that said that.

But what kind of horse? If it's a clysdale then you have all sorts of issues... and then there's the whole angle question.

i thought it waid patrick. oops. nevermind. tired pez.

i think a dead clydesdale would be easier to fuck in the ass than, say, a dead shetland pony. easier angle. either way, though. where there's a will...

Quarter Pony... Just at the right height.

especially if the other 75% is katie holmes.

No! The other three quarters are the Church of the Subgenius! Thank you very much!

Patrick you can say really filthy things to your mom. So you are saying that i inspire filth. Now I just feel dirty......excuse me as i go weep

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah ! bloh bloh bloh bloh bloh bloh bloh bloh bloh? blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech blech. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!

"bloh bloh bloh bloh bloh bloh bloh bloh bloh?" Patrick, were you quoting Shakespeare or Johnson in that line?

sometimes patrick just lets his johnson do his talking for him.

foo foo foo foo foo foo foo foo foo foo foo foo foo foo. fooey fooey fooey fooey ! fra fra fra fooey fra fra fra fooey fra fra fra fooey fra fra fra fooey fra fra fra fooey !!!!

And sometimes his johnson lets him do the talking for it.....

And sometimes he uses his Johnson to pound in rusty nails.

Pull the wool over your own eyes. LS

PUKE! TOTAL FUCKING PUKE! PUKE! PUKE! PUKE! COMPLETELY CHUNKY PUKE! PUKE! PUKE! PUKE FUCKING PUKE! PUKE! PUKE! PUKE!

You know, LS, you'd pay to know what you really think. I have such a deal for you....

Fuck'em if they can't take a joke.

No.I believe the proper way of phrasing that would be: Fuck you,you ass.

I suppose you could rephrase it that way, but that's not the tradional way it has been used. LS

Yes it has... Fuck you, you ass. Thats pretty traditional around here.

"Fuck you, you ass" may be traditional, but it's not the traditional means of saying "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke." They have two different meanings, but I'm sure they have a common ancestor back in the evolutionary tree. LS

Tradition is what we're all about,here.

And high morals

Oh yes... We are the moral fucking police here.

Yes! There will be no moral fucking here! No sirreeeeee.

fuck off.

I'm kinda starting to like this LoneSturgon guy.

What do you think the LS stands for?

http://nersp.nerdc.ufl.edu/~dicke3/nerspcs/ls.html

nerd

so?

Well,I have to admit it impressed me. [now,will you bring me a tacky teapot?]

tacky teapot?

Wacky Fleabot.

Yes,please.If its not too much trouble.Something I could proudly display,with the rest of my tacky ceramics collection. I'm not too proud to admit that I have several hidious pieces,which I derive a great sense of pleasue in owning. [if it wouldn't be too much trouble :)]

LoneStranger,email me.I have a secret message for you.

I'm scared. You might track me down and stick hot pokers up my piss-slit. You might be a wierdo who wants to take advantage of me. Well, you probably are a wierdo. And it might be nice if you take advantage of me. Of course, you could take naked pictures of yourself wearing neon wigs and send them to me. I would probably like that. I find myself watching that Spanish show with the little girl who has an older sister or aunt who wears colored wigs. I pick up a few words here and there, so I can get the jist of the show, but I really just watch it for the colored wig lady. So, you may see my email. You may not. We'll have to see. LS

Actually Czarina probably does have a neon wig.

I still say TOTAL FUCKING PUKE PUKE PUKE!

Eeeeeeeewwwwww,I never would have thought of that "hot poker" business on my own. Now,I think YOU might be a weirdo!

I am a wierdo, but I thought we were talking about you. LS

What's so strange about sticking hot pokers up piss slits?

sounds like a traditional family Christmas to me.

Roasted chessnuts and whatnot

Children roasting on an open fire... Chessnuts nipping at your heels...

Oooooooh,this is getting me in the mood for the holidays! Where's my bellows?

Bellows in the piss slit. Blow that Church air right out the bowels and into the approved receptacle. Just like Dobbs used to make!

Let's hear it for the approved receptacle!

oh i just cant top that

Damn. I missed Puzzling Evidence last night. That blows. Like bellows. In the piss-slit. Let's hear it for red hot pokers! LS

Well,as I have a medical background,I just can't help but ask: Wouldn't that red hot poker up the er,"piss-slit",have a cauterizing effect,thereby rending your "piss-slit" rather useless? I think it would be in your best interest to cease and desist in all activities,involving red hot pokers,and your orifices. Cz

i agree thank you very much

It would, which is why I was worried earlier... I may have been inviting red-hot pokers up the piss-slit by giving my email out. Or porn mailing lists. Either way, I lose. One just hurts more than the other. And I will not cease all activities with my orifices.. I still like eating and drinking, and when that happens, I must use some of the other orifices. LS

What orfices do you use for eating and drinking? If you use any orfice besides your mouth,we need a slide show.

The mouth is used for mastication. The nose is used to determine if the mouth actually gets to masticate. The anus is used to excrete the solid waste. The piss-slit is used for.... pissing liquid waste! Here is your Slide Show.... http://www.nipissingu.ca/saari/slides/pinel10/ppframe.htm LS P.S. What's even funnier, is that "pissing" is in the domain name.

Theres just nothing quite as gratifying,as a good self mastication.

I agree. I masticate often. At least twice a day, sometimes more. I learned it when I was really young, and I am sure I'll be doing it until I'm almost dead. LS

Ah! A proud masticator. We don't see enough of them these days. I like a guy who's proud of his bodily functions.

Maybe we should get together and have a mutual mastication session? Wouldn't that be grand? LS

Seek professional help.

I guess it would only be fair to warn you. I may be small in size,but i'm very high energy,and can do some serious masticating. Frankly,friends and co-workers have been amazed at my masticating abilities.This makes me laugh with glee. You might call me a Master Masticator. [top that!]

Ok I have I have to ask...what does masticate mean? I thought it meant to chew and swallow (yuck) but I think my dictionary is wrong. I am sooooo not a swallower. Why I shared that I dont know but it was kinda gross. Oh well.

I love ya girl.Only here could you confess that! And your dictonary is correct.

If ya loved me, you would have gotten on MSN lately and talked with me. It's been like 2 weeks since we've had of our awesome chats and I'm kinda missin' ya Lady CZ! I love ya man so get your ass on MSN in the morning!

I will! I've been really busy at work,but am off tomorrow,and will sign on! :) I miss our chats,too!

omigod!! can i chat, too???!!!

heh cute. I even get hit on by losers when I'm on msn or icq. my loser magnet status must appeal worldwide

Omigod!!! You wanna chat too Dave?!?!?!??! Why of course you can!!

I broke away from that nasty little chat room habit. I just stick to ICQ and MSN. And I only have CZ and J and the girl next door on my MSN list. ICQ I have had for like 5 years almost and that list is huge. I could probably delete half of them but I just dont wanna. I am having such a hard freakin' time waking up this morning. Usually I wake up at 6 am all chipper and wide awake but here it is 8 am and I still aint with the program. Gotta go get Kim up for school now.

I was hoping Dave would wanna join our chats :)

masticate means to chew like a cow.

dani, do you question dictionaries often?

masticate just means chew. No onerous bovine overtones.

he is correct. ruminate means to chew a cud (like a cow.)

I masticated in class today. I accidentally got over-excited and some of it got on the desk. I had to clean it up with a towel. I didn't think anyone else saw, but later on, I someone was staring at me while themselves masticating. It was a girl, so I am thinking about asking her if she would like to go masticate with me some evening. I always enjoy a masticating partner. We could experiment masticating with different things. LS

Ooooh,how embarrasing!Lucky for you,she was a fellow public masticator! It just goes to show,there is someone for all of us!

fuck off Patty. I have no use for any of your smartass comments.

How do you pick up a public masticator? "Hey, there, do you prefer beef or pork with your mastication?" Hmm. Don't think it'd work.

That's beyond the scope of the joke. LS

Sounds like a joke scope jack slap to me!

LS -- how was that party a week ago on saturday? were there lots of asian hotties?

cyst-what's new?

The party blew chunks. There were asian cuties there, but not as many as I was promised. And the only Asian hottie that wanted to talk to the only two white guys there had to ask, "What are they doing?" where we replied, "They're smoking pot." and then she said, "Oh, they are getting high." Needless to say, we didn't stay long. We went to the bar. LS

Perhaps she was testing your comprehension skills? Or checking to see how alert you were? Or maybe that was Asian code for:Lets go do the wild thing?

If she was testing those two things, I believe I passed. If it was the third... I failed. it probably wasn't the third. LS

this has nothing to do with this cethory butt this is pouplar i am haveing a sex prolem. I am 14 male and singl ans my friend corey is the same and i wannta suck his cock and fuck him up the ass. I chose him because i have know him since i was born i mean we shower together we dress and undress in frontt of each other we masterbate in front of each other we compare size we are the same and i wannta do some new things to him and i want him to do the same to me butt i do not know how to ask him or tell him some one PLEZ help me

There is no hope for you. Kill yourself. LS

Can you say "pedophilia investigator"? I knew you could.

Zach, your a sick individual. I aint bashing you for your obvious gayness but your desires are way more than anyone needed/wanted to know. Write about that shit in your little diary or something. Yuck.

daNI JUST BECAUSE HE NEEDS HELP AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE A FUCKING BITCH H COME FOR HELP NOI TO BE RIDCULED YOU FUCKINGG HO

Spell and type much Corey??? Your right, he needs help...professional help. Asshole.

Oh ain't it sweet - Corey and Zach have the same IP. Maybe Corey is the friend and is already sitting on Zach's knee. Have fun boys!!

You rock Cat!! hehehehehe!!!

I hate to nit-pick, but, Dani, you used the wrong "you're." You used the one that is for possession, not "You are." Thank you, and we now return you to your regularly scheduled flame the retard capslock typer thread. LS

I never said I was Einstein LS and I have always used "your" when I say things like your stupid or your gorgeous or your right or your family or your truck etc...etc... But thanks for the helpful tip LS! I think.

MASTURBATION WILL BLOW YOUR GODDAMN LEGS OFF. AND IT'S UNAMERICAN. AND YOU HAVE A SMALL DICK. so, either fuck your friend, or, fuck yourself. shit, I hope I'm not turning into dave.

I see a resemblence.

That wouldnt be a bad thing.

You're welcome Dani! LS

Four times now in Sorabji Land. People, I don't trust this Zach.

watcher are you pretending to be dense? of course this post was bunk from the first one yo!

He's just looking out for us dumb fucks.

Two things. One: First I thought Zach might be a very naive teenager. But, that changed after the second posting. Then I realized his postings where very much script like. But, if Zach was a vice cop, he was even more naive than a teenager. Whoever Zach is he needs adult supervision. Two: Some of our comunity have been known to, shall we say, be a little indescreet(I know that's spelled wrong). I'd hate for any of you to be compromised by someone like that. If Zach is a cop let him learn his lesson well. We don't need the kind of creeps he is after. If Zach is a naive teenager he should learn discreation. And, maybe talk to a shrink. If Zach is something else he should please go away. I don't even want to think about it.

wanna buy some candy?

Are you implying that one of us might actually take the bait? Who is it? eh?

feels good, eh sem?

Only taking candy from you patrick if you hand deliver it to my doorstep. Nothing personal, but then I can eat it, and if I start to die, I don't have far to chase you.

What?

HE SAID: ONLY TAKING CANDY FROM YOU PATRICK IF YOU HAND DELIVER IT TO MY DOORSTEP. NOTHING PERSONAL, BUT THEN I CAN EAT IT, AND IF I START TO DIE, I DONT HAVE FAR TO CHASE YOU.

CHUPACABRA!

PENDEJO!

CHINGA SU MADRE!

CHINGA *TU* MADRE, PELOTUDO!

Wow haven't seen Chupa in a while... Kinda miss the little fuck.

droopy, he's politely telling you to fuck your mother. "su" is the formal version of "tu."

a viente! soy tambien un pelotudo. y mal educado. pinche cosmic rays.

how do you know what chupa's intent is, antigone? HUH?

I remember Ustead (I think that's spelled right) was the formal version of tu. Of course it's been about thirty years since I took Spanish class. Or, you could be using Portugeese.

usted. i'm glad tiggy pointed that out. now it'll make it stick in my mind. i keep hoping that someone who actually speaks spanish would start posting here so i can keep posting in tortured spanish and be corrected. the first time i ever heard the phrase "chinga tu madre" used was when somebody corrected someone else on its usage. a white guy says "chinga la madre" to a guy from mexico, and the other laughs and says "chinga *tu* madre." portly geese is a prettier language than spanish.

"how do you know what chupa's intent is, antigone? HUH?" Great minds (who post from identical IP's) think alike. I confess. I am...CHUPACABRA!

damn. i didn't want you to say that. i was just toying with you.

AND SO AM I! CHUPACABRA!!

dave.

semillama!!!! semillamamamamamamamamama!!!!!! suddenly everything is pokemon

Salmonella? *lick* LS