from the Missy Elliot U.S. page, "75 Things Every Woman Should Know... 1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. 2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. 3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone. 4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. 5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. 6. Don't force an attraction. 7. Slower is better. 8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. 9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. 10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order. 11. Don't settle. 12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. 13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that? 14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. 15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess. 16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. 17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you. 18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? 19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince. 20. Always put yourself and your happiness first. 21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his. 22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. 23. Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested. 24. Be honest and up-front. 25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along 26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on). 27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom). 28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee. 29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within. 30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself -- double-standard. 31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. 32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. 33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you! 34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see. 35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go. 36. Actions speak louder than words. 37. Never let a man define who you are. 38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that. 39. Never borrow someone else's man. 40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. 41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him. 42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time. 43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life. 44. Love is a verb ... 45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving. 46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. 47. All men are NOT dogs. 48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street. 49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else. 50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart 51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. 52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. 53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. 54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it. 55. Never become your man's "therapist". 56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions. 57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it - but it takes two to make it work. 58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for you. 59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted. 60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure him to spend time with you, You cant force a man to hang out with you. 61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't. 62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. 63. Never move into his mother's house. 64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone. 65. Never co-sign for a man. 66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent. 67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you. 68. Never let a man mess up your credit. 69. When it's time to let go; let go. 70. Good men should be treated like good men. 71. Don't play games. 72. You can't make a #### into a housewife - or husband. 73. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. 74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important. 75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts _________________________________________________________________

I find that list more insulting and sad than i care to admit.

why?

I agree Wisper!!

Some of them are good advice (e.g., #71, #16, #18, #40).

75?

Because. 67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you. 20. Always put yourself and your happiness first. Be greedy and selfish, it's cool! Also, don't compromise or make sacrafices. The whole list treats "a man" like they're some dangerous exotic pet that need to be controlled and watched carefully. A different species. I hate that kind of stuff.

One thing is written in stone,no man should ever hit a woman,not ever,under any circumstances.Its one of my laws that I will not break.

I don't think you should hit ANYBODY.

oh mercy, why did i spell sacrifices with two A's. I can think of several circumstances where it would be fine for a man to hit a woman. What about self defence?

102 girlfriends so far,and i,ve had them comeing at me knifes,there is no excuse for violence,ever,there is allways a way out (like the window)

What if she asks you to?

T.Bone,so very true.

...or not,still think its wrong.

I'm sure somewhere in this crazy fucked up world there are some women whose motto is "beat me,make me feel like a woman".

Sure V.v, but would you hit a guy?

I believe in self defense. If someone was coming at me, male or female...yes, I would defend myself and kick ass!

THEY'RE COMING RIGHT AT US!!!

I don't understand. If someone was hitting on you, you would just sit there and take it??

:)

I found this site on spanking the other day and how some woman needed to be spanked so their men knew they were in charge. It made me laugh but then I forgot to post it.

Actually, Dodi, I did have a girlfriend once who was physically abusive, and I did just sit and take it. However, she weighed about 100lb and I was 250lb, so when she hit me it just kinda tickled. She was half Italian and half Irish. I think she inherited the "fiery woman" genes from both sides... We didn't date long. :)

My ex-brother in-law used to take abuse from my sister. She weighed twice as much as him, but he actually liked it...weird huh?

Antigone, when this girl hit you, did you actually feel like you were being beaten/abused, or did you think it was odd/funny/cute? just curious.

Well, she hit me during arguments while yelling and screaming, so I don't think it was odd/funny/cute. :) However, I really didn't feel abused because I didn't feel threatened. Bummed, yeah, but not abused.

See, if i was in that situation (as Antigone) I would have a hard time restraining the urdge to punch her in the gut, really hard, just once, to end it. I feel that would be more than fair. Of course then she would probably call the cops. The world is unfair to guys in these matters. Makes me sad.

o.k. in my life guys dont hit girls,am I unique? or normal?

in your life villians get away in rickshaws and cats walk backwards. or is that my world.

patrick, in your world questions end in a period? Or do statements end with a period.

in my world there is no distinction between rhetorical inquiries and ones which need reply. also in my world, you serve hot dogs on a stick wearing one of these uniforms and are generally surly.

Corny dogs come from my neck of the woods, bitch.

"o.k. in my life guys dont hit girls,am I unique? or normal?" I'm just wondering if you think guys can hit guys? Or girls can hit girls? Or girls can hit guys? Every combination except guy hitting girl?

I'm a woman and there have been times when I recall how Shauna the bitch was to two husbands and I wonder what stopped them from cold cocking her, I could have done it myself.But that's just me.

wisper,I dont understand your point of view,but guys hitting girls is wrong,but if a man threw a punch at me,I would at least put him in hospital.

J,I allways respect your point view,but was Shauna THAT bad?

If my son came home and told me that someone was hitting him, do I tell him.."Honey, it's okay, let them hit you." WRONG!!!!

How about this: don't be a bully. Don't use your (physical, verbal, intellectual, spiritual, emotional, mental, psychic, sexual, psychosexual) force against a target ill-equipped to fight back. And if someone more powerful than you messes with you, do everything in your power to avoid or diffuse the situation. Or what do some dads tell their kids? Don't be the first to start a fight, but be the first to end one. My grandmother once threw a pan of boiling water on my grandfather. She was a monster. But I don't think hitting her would have helped anything.

I agree with you Spider. "Don't be the first to start a fight, but be the first to end one." :)

But you don't have to end the fight with violence. There are many ways to control a violent situation.

"wisper,I dont understand your point of view,but guys hitting girls is wrong,but if a man threw a punch at me,I would at least put him in hospital." My point of view is like this- If a male takes a swing at you, you'll beat him down. But if a woman did the same thing, you would leave her alone. But why is this? why are girls special? Why do males deserve to be put in a hospital, while you would let a lady get away with doing the exact same thing?

True..but I've yet to see a violent situation turn positive, at least from what I've experienced.

My brother in-law has a broken neck, due to a female who kicked his ass. You see, he didn't fight back, but now he suffers everyday with pain. They even went to court over this, and she got away with this abuse. Was it worth him not protecting himself? I don't care who you are, I still would defend my rights...it's called survival.

Yep. There ya go. Prejudice. That's what I'm talking about.

Hey Wisper - long time no see :), Letting a man spoil you doesn't have to be about material stuff. It can mean letting him cook dinner for you when you get home from a long day at work. Or run you a bath. Or any number of things not involving cash. I dig what she's saying -- I've seen too many women who literally wait on their husbands hand & foot -- the same husbands who are too lazy to bring them a glass of juice when they're laid up with the flu. Personally, I believe in Reciprocal Spoiling. But women tend to be a lot more appreciate of spoiling than men are. The List is NOT saying women should be greedy & selfish -- it's telling them to handle their own business & take responsibility for their romantic entanglements: 64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone. 65. Never co-sign for a man. 68. Never let a man mess up your credit. 69. When it's time to let go; let go. 71. Don't play games. I wanna see the original list -- does anyone have a link to where it came from? Or the name of whomever posted it. Did Missy come up with those 75 things, or did Lou Reed? - RC.

God I missed your wit, RC! Lou Reed, ha! Imagine Lou Reed reading that list aloud. V.v. - What if someone like Michelle Yeoh was coming at you? If you were backed into a corner and couldn't run, would you defend yourself?

No.I would her out on a date,Yang Zi Chong looks so nice.

(ask)

Hey! (Punch) would you... (Kick to knee) OW! would you go out... (Chop to neck) gurgle, gurgle (Hammer punch to clavicle) (V.v. blacks out)

sem,in other words,you run away from girls???.The only girls I avoid are butch lesbians,allthough I do respect them.

Sure you do. Sure you do.

OUCH!!!!

V.v..I grew up fighting. I lived near this low income housing area, and we had to walk through there everyday, to get to school. I used to get jumped on a daily basis and they would take my lunch money. I decided that I wasn't going to take it anymore (plus, I was hungry), so I stood up for myself...and won!!! They didn't take my lunch money that day, or any day after that and I got to eat..finally. It's weird how things happen, cause after that, they became my dearest friends...:) Just stick up for yourself, cause no one else will.

...indeed,to be an old fox you need to be smart.

TBone,are you a lover of butch lesbians???

I am. I'm kidding. Actually, I like women who are very feminine and lush, like Nigella Lawson and Monica Belluci. And I like men who are very rugged and masculine and even a little ugly, like Clive Owen and Sean Bean. I don't like androgyny in either sex. And yet I'm on the boyish side, myself. Weird.

Yes I am.

OH fuck.

V.v, Are YOU a lover of Butch Lesbians? Why or why not? If a butch lesbian came at you swinging because you made some asinine comment, would you defend yourself?

sem,As the nice person that I know you are,I will tell you something...I was talking with a butch lesbian many years back...and out of the blue she came out with this:"v.v.,I will tell you straight,lesbians have far more sex than any straight man or woman can ever dream of".....your comments if you please...

...so I find it impossible to hate lesbians.

You can't hate someone who has more sex than you?

Can you?

...Envy perhaps..

my comments are that it's not provable that lesbians have more sex than anyone else. You duck issues like you were a Bush spokesman, you know.

sem,as allways you avoid the main issue,do your own homework,speak with lesbians,now for a long time,i thought you were the main man on research,dont let me down on this...and im no Bush spokesman...GOOD GOD,to think i used to regard you as THE MAIN MAN on research...FEH...right now you are hardly a Clark Kent,...such a wimp "not provable that lesbians have more sex than anyone else"...rubbish,it only needs to be proved one way or another.If YOU are as good as you claim.prove it.

Is V.v. annoying enough yet?

Not ever as much as you.

Not surprised that you answered, but I was asking everyone else.

I want to smack myself in the forehead. Threads have been corrupted.

this is what you people get for continuing to humour him/them.

Why smack your own forehead, Moonit? It's not your fault. So I just showed my mom the Daily Show clip in which Stephen Colbert deep-throats a banana and cries from laughter and she, well, cried from laughter. Maybe now she'll watch the Daily Show on her own, like I've been begging her to for years.

I wouldn't have to talk with V.v. if you posted more, Gee! More Gee!

http://ungerware.dhs.org/~rich/dailyshow.php

What am I doing wrong? I click on any link on that site and I get nothing. Just a blank page.

yeah, me too. i knew it was too good to be true.

This page has a number of QT Daily Show clips.

I had no problem with the page.

well you allways were easily pleased with trivia.

Alex, you're slipping.

And, don't you love the Jersey shore this time of year?

Antigone, how come you were blessed and I wasn't? I even opened RealPlayer and dragged the URL of one of the clips to the address window and tried to view it like that, and it didn't work.

I haven't tried playing the videos yet, but I was able to bring up the page. And I think J pegged V.v. in this thread.

who could keep it up for so long? who would want to? who am i to question. j is so cute.

Whoever it is, they're good at manufacturing a seperate reality.

Ah. Impressive. He can stop now.

to get the Daily Show clip (yeah the page links don't work for me either!) you can just go to the page they get them from. If you're really dying to see the clip alone in realplayer, just right-click on the video and tell it to 'Play in RealOne player'.

Spider, what's the name of the banana deep throat clip you speak of?

I hate the Comedy Central site because I'm forced to view the 56K version of the clips even though I'm on a cable connection, because the hi-quality clips just freeze on the picture and I can't see what's going on. ARGH. Anyway, the banana clip is about 3/4 of the way down the list of total video clips -- it's labelled as "the Prince Charles Scandal."

Spider, I cringe when I read, and I feel the idocicy and I am embarassed on its behalf. I'm too girly/sympathetic etc. Also I fucked up my appointment to have my wisdom teeth out, so now its on Monday, two days before my birthday. I better be able to eat fucking cake. grr.

early Happy Birthday to you! today is Ron's birthday. I love him so much, I wish I could just wave a magic wand and fix all of his problems.

whoever wrote this post is pathetic. Good luck keeping a man in life. one rule is key and must be viewed as absolute, that is respect...above all else. The rest of that crap is representative of one sad, malcontent, bitter, middle-to-late aged woman who is probably sitting on her couch right now praying for a pleasurable experience beyond the dwindeling pint of ben & Jerry's ice cream in her hands. HEavens i feel sorry for you.

wait -- Clive Own and Sean Bean are ugly?? That's wack. They're beautiful. mmm, Sean Bean. Kiefer Sutherland is my new boyfriend.

....ah,but did you see Kiefer in "lost boys"?...AWESOME,wish I had it on c.d. (even the music was good)...haunting allmost...now that was some movie.

now v wants to keep this online for 24 hours,so v does a "repost"...and "lost boys"was in deed a fine movie.

I saw this movie, but can't remember all of it...been awhile. From my understanding, you are really into the bloody movies, especially the vampire kind..am I right?

Do you like love stories V?? Well, there's 2 that are my favorite and they make you weep...I know, their "chic flicks"..but if you get a chance, watch them and let me know what you think. Here they are..'Bridges Over Madison County'..and..'Somewhere In Time' Christopher Reeves is in 'Somewhere In Time' and it's very good, at least I think so..:)

naaaaa,the one that makes me cry my eyes out is "Titanic"....THAT is the best movie...even if I were in company....I still cry my eyes out.YOU MUST HAVE SEEN IT!!!!!!!...........she calls out,Jack,Jack,Jack,as he sinks to the bottom of the sea.............................

.......frozen to death,you must have seen it...

DODI,COURSE V LOVES LOVE STORIES....BUT V TENDS TO CRY OVER SAD ONES,..."SNIFF"

Dodi,,,so why do you love the films you love so much...full explination,darling...for me i am in anticipation of feedback.

Dodi,yup,.. v is in to vapire movies big time,still love "lost boys"....BUT...what is YOUR BEST ALL TIME HIT???..

mind you,"dirty dancing" was real cool.,and the music was soooo good.

Yes, I've seen Titanic and it was really good. Infact, that's my son's favorite movie, so that must say something.

Well, Bridges Over Madison County is pretty personal, so it has some deep meaning to me. I don't like to talk about it much, cause it makes me think of the past and it's sad, so I won't go into details. If you watch it, you will understand where I'm coming from. I love a good love story, cause we all want to be inlove and all that mushy stuff, ya know what I mean? I also love good comedies, cause we all need to laugh, so those are always fun to watch. I love the gorey movies too, just like you, cause we all need to get scared every now and then..then we can cling on to the person next to us..:):) I really love documentaries, the true stories...keeps my interest. I should have been a detective or a forensic scientist, cause I love that sort of thing. My favorite movie of all time...'Fried Green Tomatoes" I used to take care of my neighbor, who was very old, so this makes me think of her.

Well v recalls the name of the movie,and I expect v can pull a few details from the net,but you need to refresh my brain.p.s....saw that "private ryan" movie last night,,,all blood and guts,but o.k...if you like blood and guts.,its all BLAM "OH SHIT SARGE,MY GODDAM GUTS BEEN BLOWN OUT"...CAN YOU GIT DIS LEDDER BACK TO MY MOM?

I've seen that movie and I enjoyed it. I guess you will have to rent that movie V, and let me know what you think, okay?

Your funny!

glub,glub,glub....thats the sound of champagne bubbles comeing out of my nose...its the last resort when I run out of sherry.

The Bridges *OF* Madison County that is all.

So, I made a mistake, big fucking deal...move on...

I take it, you don't have your "Jizzmop"...too bad, so sad..for you.

Now you had 10,000 things in your head,and I missed most of it,"Jizzmop" dont work,,a lot of postings I miss,did you by chance insult me? I an not awere of such a thing,you know the most wonderfull thing about not being American? not understanding your words,I cant find an insult in your words at all,indeed,not at all,you know something? you cheer me up lots,and to an extent,I hope I cheer you up also,you know I still dont understand this situation,My self,I think it is time for us to do what we do well,have fun.

Dodi,to speak with you I use 4 large dictionarys,in English,but sometimes I still get things wrong.

I was posting to Gee, not you V!

I think your postings are just fine, so the dictionary thing is working..:) I agree, lets just have fun!

o.k. you know from my point of view,you,speak Russian real well...you no,some time hence,I want to no more of your life,do you like gardens,plants,kids,insects,presidents,goods in Wallmart,best and most tasty food that you like,even if it is not good for you,best cars,...stuff like that...clothes,all stuff....for me this is good...it gives me a better understanding of you.

How do you think I speak Russian..don't understand. I love gardening! I love kids, but not when their crying...:) I like insects, just as long as they don't bite me. Presidents....no comment. I never shop at Walmart!!!!!! I love South American food and a good mocha from StarBucks...yummers..:) I love, love, love the new Chrysler Plymouth 300..with the grill in the front. I love men's suits with suspenders and wearing my funky jewels with it. I love to wear my baseball cap, especially when I'm having a bad hair day. I love to clean! I love to go out and eat! I love sitting on my porch when it rains. I love cuddling when it's snowing...yummy..:) I can go on forever, cause I love so many things, especially when you share it with someone else...it's better that way..:)

....You know,cuddling when its snowing,takes me back years,log cabins,log fires,sparks comeing from the fire,burning pine chips on my ass,pain,blisters.......is that why I get dreams about log cabins and pine chips?...sounds like a villa in Portugal I had 15 years back,the mediterranean pine that I was useing spits boiling sap like napalm,no one told my that when I spent all day collecting it....so,if you want to make love in a log cabin in Portugal, dont use mediterranean pine,it will most likely blow your ass clean off,,,do I sound too much like "Clint Eastwood" in "Dirty Harry"?..

I'm getting a visual of your ass blowing off! It's not a nice visual, but it's funny...LOL!! I don't think I need the fireplace anyway, cause I tend to make my own fire, if ya know what I mean..:):)

...I still have the blisters, marks for life.If I become a nudist,then I will have to say "I was in Vietnam y,know"