|THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).|
BlindSwine: must be true. i read it on the sorabji.com
b00gnsh: you're lucky you're never mentioned.
BlindSwine: i think you should hook up with XXX and commit unspeakable sexual acts.
b00gnsh: i can't do that.
BlindSwine: too bad.
BlindSwine: it would have made for good reading.
b00gnsh: she wouldn't touch the likes of me anyway.
BlindSwine: c'mon. she wants some nate.
BlindSwine: even if she does come off as a puritanical oxpecker.
b00gnsh: puritanical oxpecker?
BlindSwine: i dunno. it just came out.
b00gnsh: i put a search in on our defect database about 8 minutes ago.
b00gnsh: still truckin'.
BlindSwine: getting all those people in the same room would be scary.
b00gnsh: yeah it would.
BlindSwine: XXXXX is a hardcore mess.
BlindSwine: heh. yeah.
BlindSwine: what were you doing? praying to the porcelain?
b00gnsh: i'm not sure why my head ended up in the toilet on that one.
b00gnsh: like i ever puke.
b00gnsh: i drink WELL.
BlindSwine: that kid has some funny misconceptions.
BlindSwine: like thinking i'd ever want to XXXX XXXXXXX with XXXX and "XXXXXXXX".
b00gnsh: you should post your view of sorabji.
BlindSwine: the place or the guy?
b00gnsh: the place.
b00gnsh: the inhabitants.
b00gnsh: just go XXX XXXX XXXXX
BlindSwine: i've already posted by views on sorabji.com
b00gnsh: naw... i mean, set up the peoples the way you XXXX they would XXXXXX.
b00gnsh: XXX XXXX the scene.
BlindSwine: XXXX XXX XXX XXXX horrorshow.
b00gnsh: except, do it in a way that is radically askew to reality.
BlindSwine: i think the reality, or at least my perceived reality, would be horrifying enough.
and swine, acting larger than thou to a comment I made in disclosing our similar interests in music is hardly tre kuul, but i expect nothing more, new yorkers are typically that way....i should know, i have numerous friends there and visit regularly...
in other words, the Xs weren't necessary
b00gnsh: WOO HOO!
ScatPack: I knew you would catch on
ScatPack: your the best
ScatPack: when you shit, do you require reading materials?
b00gnsh: though sometimes i bring them
b00gnsh: and sometimes i wish i had.
the conversation was hacked/chopped/&rearranged...
I was going to tell a story about how Swine was like this boy I know named Nima, but as I was typing it out I realized they were really nothing alike. Nima annoys me to no end, and Swine only annoys me a little bit. They're both very interesting, though, and I think I could follow both of them around all day just staring and trying to figure out what's going on in their heads.
nevermind, I'm just being stupid.
Today was the last day I'll ever see Nima, since I worked with him and this was the last day we're working together. I'm quiting this weekend. I didn't actually SAY "goodbye" since that would require that he know I had some nice thoughts about him, and his annoying me makes that impossible. I just hit him with my hat and poked him in the back with my sharp fingernails. He doesn't realize it, but I only do that to people I like.
swine: i'm not feeling it.
Slappy*: so you pussys aren't up for another game?
Crappy*: they walk across the room is funny..
Crappy: that's about it.
swine: now they would be russian mobsters as opposed to czech immigrants.
Crappy: garrett morris. whatever happened to that guy?
swine: i think he's dead.
swine: damn. everyfuckingbody is coming out with a blairwitch trailer spoof.
Slappy: swine, can i ask you a question about black people
swine: Slappy, can i ask you a question about rednecks?
swine: why do they always ask me permission to ask a question about black people?
Slappy: my question:
Slappy: why do black men in particular take so damn long at the cash register?
Slappy: i just need some insight
swine: to piss you off.
Slappy: i thought so
swine: we get together at the annual conference and figure out ways to piss off whitey.
Slappy: i knew it
Slappy: it works
Slappy: keep it up
swine: this year we all took a vote and decided to take forever at cash registers.
swine: next year we'll be stealing the toilet paper out of public bathroom stalls.
Slappy: you fuckers!
Crappy: you did that last year!!
swine: the new millennium plan is to sleep with all of your wives, daughters, and mothers.
swine: but we haven't voted on that one yet.
Crappy: ALL MY MOTHERS??
swine: well, not your mother.
swine: you have no mother, you wack-hatched motherfucker.
Slappy: xxxxxx is into that
swine: i'll make sure xxxxxx gets hooked up with someone nice.
swine: i'll put in a special call into Headquarters
Crappy: xxxxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxxx!
swine: HA! BITCH!
*names have been changed to protect a couple of shitheads.
you wanna play yourself or should we get sean penn's chubby little brother?
I want Linda Hunt to play me in any movie.
We love you Swiiiiine, and we'll be true!
When you're not near us, we're blue!
Oh Swiiiiine we love you!
"Charter Member of the We Love Swine Fanclub"
sorabji has earned my scorn.
would you believe. . . yearned my cornings?
anyone hear the Miles Davis sort of "special" on NPR a few weeks ago?
That motorcycle commercial he was featured in was unexpected as anything. forget what kind of wheels. . . got a clue?
forget those two, jackie chan will play me. if he's unavailable, portia di rossi can definitely play me.
i want laurence fishburne to be my character.
or that guy who trained tim roth in resevoir dogs.
what was that guys name?
i used to dress like that in high school.
i could see billy bob doing you.
err, i mean your character.
steve buscemi should play "Crappy".
Zhivago23: it was pretty funny
BlindSwine: i haven't read The New Yorker since i was in 5th grade.
BlindSwine: they say that mcdonald's is changing the face of japan.
Zhivago23: yeah. they're gonna be fat asses.
BlindSwine: the japanese are eating like americans and getting fatter, taller, and more pathetic.
Zhivago23: and not just the sumo wrestlers
Zhivago23: there's no stopping our culture
Zhivago23: every country's gonna have to go through that
BlindSwine: yes. assimilation.
Zhivago23: just like they had to go through industrialization
BlindSwine: have a burger. eat the fries. sit on the couch. welcome to the new world order.
Zhivago23: well it's a dialectic
BlindSwine: how so.
Zhivago23: you never replace the Jihad with the McDonalds.
Zhivago23: you just end up with McJihad
BlindSwine: oh shit!
BlindSwine: does that come in a happy meal with a toy surprise?
Zhivago23: yeah just wait for the Shish Kebab Bell
Zhivago23: I can hear the jingle: Make a Run for Mecca
Zhivago23: they could have an Afgan instead of a Chichuaua
BlindSwine: jesus. it's the end of the world.
Zhivago23: only the beginning
Zhivago23: sit back
Zhivago23: enjoy the show
BlindSwine: welcome to the club, you bald-assed motherfucker.
BlindSwine: got a web cam? lemme see.
Condour75: no i don't
Condour75: it was sort of an accident
BlindSwine: you try to cut your own hair?
Condour75: i had this rash
Condour75: on the side of my head
Condour75: so i decided i wanted to see it
BlindSwine: tell me you're joking.
Condour75: so i started shaving it
BlindSwine: god damn.
Condour75: once you start sometihng like that
Condour75: you have to finish it
Condour75: i'm as bald as buddha
Condour75: or kojak
BlindSwine: so what's up with the scalp rot?
Condour75: oh it's pretty nasty
Condour75: i'm gonna go see a doctor about it tomorrow
Condour75: of coures he's going to jump to the conclusion that i'm clearly insane
BlindSwine: dude, how the hell did you get crotch rot on your brain?
Condour75: well that's a good question there
Condour75: i don't know
Condour75: but I think it's the same thign that's wrong with my nose
BlindSwine: what's wrong with your nose?
Condour75: constant sneezing
Condour75: no allergy
Condour75: it's been almost a year now
Condour75: i thikn it's a systemic fungus infection
BlindSwine: new jack fungii attack. sounds fucking miserable.
Condour75: god knows how I got that
Condour75: i gotta be more careful on those trips to bangkok