sorabji.com: What have you failed to do?: Write

By Crippled-Useless-Miserable-Isolde on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 12:15 am:

    Alright. So I told people to leave me alone for a few hours today, and sat down to write. I haven't written in weeks, and I was beginning to feel cross and unfocused, which I do when I don't write for a while. I cleared my head, put on a little writing music in the background, and poised in front of the keyboard.
    I couldn't write.
    I tried. I've never not been able to write. I couldn't come up with anything. I opened up some old stuff and dicked around with it for a while, but I was writing shit. Absolute garbage. I couldn't beleive it. I've always had something to say, always needed to get stuff out, especially when I feel the _need_ to write like I've been feeling all day. And nothing.
    Nothing came out.
    I don't know what to do. I feel...I don't know..decieved somehow. That, and in shock. And sad. Like I've lost something. I know that I will be able to write again, but at the moment I'm too grief-stricken to think straight.
    What _am_ I going to do?

By Spider on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 12:38 am:

    Annie Dillard says that your creative resources are like well-springs: you can take all you can out of them, and they will always fill up from the bottom.

    Fear not.

By agatha on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 01:21 am:

    it's just a little hiatus. i do that all the time with art. don't fret, it will come back. i haven't updated my web log in probably two plus weeks. i feel like i have nothing to say.

By Isolde on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 01:35 am:

    I know it will come back...but I still feel as though I'm missing a vital part. This is really frustrating. I wanna go cry now. I just--wow. I've never had this happen this badly before. But my writing is like one long dumpster adventure. It's a good thing I don't use pen and paper anymore, I'd have gone through reams of paper with little half-scribbled sentances on them.
    It's just wierd, because the other day I had such an awesome sentance come into my head that I stopped everything I was doing and wrote it down, just marvelled in it, and when I put it out on the table tonight, it was dead. Lifeless. It had nowhere to go.

By Cat on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 03:13 am:

    Good luck Isolde...sorry I have nothing more to offer than that. But I suffer from the same terrifying lack of word nimbleness at times and have not found the cure. Lemme know if you stumble on something less fattening than massive jugs of margaritas.

    p.s. The margaritas don't make the words flow, they just trick you into thinking you're Hemingway for a pleasant while. But please feel free to experiment anyway.

By patrick on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 12:17 pm:

    i can't agree more. i wrote practically an entire book when i was "courting" nico.............i cranked several poems, lyrics and what not a day....i wouldn't say they were great but they had potential, but I haven't really been able write like that again......sometimes, i take really shitty photos or make really shitty prints......its easy to get all down and hard on yurself, but I always find a little in comfort reminding that THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS and its a good thing, keeps me in check, keeps me in focus, and reminds me I am not all that, which in turn oftens spawns some reallt great work.

By droppings on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 01:15 pm:

    "I was trying to write a book that simply would not come. I did my daily five hundred words, but the characters never began to live. So much in writing depends on the superficiality of one's days. One may be preoccupied with shopping and income-tax returns and chance conversations, but the stream of the unconscious continues to flow undisturbed, solving problems, planning ahead; one sits down sterile and dispirited at the desk, and suddenly the words come, the situations that seemed blocked in a hopeless impasse move forward; the work has been done while one slept or shopped or talked with friends."

    -Graham Greene

    "If you do not believe those arguments, what reason is there that you should not treat these new and jolly chronicles of mine with the same reserve, seeing that as a I dictated them I gave no more thought to the matter than you, who were probably drinking at the time, as I was? For I never spent - or wasted - any more - or other - time in the composing of this lordly book, than that fixed for the taking of my bodily refreshment, that is to say for eating and drinking. Indeed, this is the proper time for writing of such high matters and abstruse sciences."

    - Francois Rabelais

By Isolde on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 03:40 pm:

    But this still doesn't solve my problem. Maybe I'll be able to write when I get back from LA.

By TBone on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 03:48 pm:

    When the words do come... remember to save requently.

    The power just blinked here at work. The entire building swore as one. My machine was one of two computers in my department that actually made it without rebooting. Doesn't sound like any of the programmers made it.

    Ah, the sound of hundreds of computers running scandisk...

By Zephyr on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 04:41 pm:

    There's something called a UPS...gotta love them. The ones we have usually outlast any outages we get. (Frequent...thanks to some huge thunderstorms)

By TBone on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 04:56 pm:

    UPS's would be great.. but it would take either a huge-ass ups, or a whole hell of a lot of them.

By Trace on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 05:02 pm:

    Zephyr, I thought you were not going to post today?

By Mavis on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 05:03 pm:

    zephyr, a day without you is like a day wading through pigshit!

By Zephyr on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 05:07 pm:

    Don't worry. I didn't feel like posting until I ate a *whole* bowl of popcorn! (I'm hungry today!)

    Thanks Mavis!

By Mavis on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 05:18 pm:

By Cat on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:04 pm:

    And if all else fails Zephyr, email me and I will attempt to forward the pics of the mighty purrdy Miss Mavis.

    Where there's a will, there's a way...this little puter blonde can really fuck up your system!

By Zephyr on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:09 pm:

    No worry, cat, the pictures did get through...and yes...MIGHTY pretty!

By Trace on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:14 pm:

    I want to see pics of mavis......

By Mavis on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:17 pm:

    email me

By Trace on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:31 pm:

    Great Pics! Thanks

By Cat on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:36 pm:

    You're a wise man not to take attachments from me, Zephyr. I'm a mad mouse clicker and have no idea what the hell I'm doing 86.9%* of the time.

    And keep posting Zephyr...a day without you is like hungrily opening the fridge to discover only a skinny dead cockroach.

    (* according to recent polls conducted by hackers who wandered into my system only to find it more fucked up than NASA's)

By Mavis on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:39 pm:

    you are a mad fireball genius!

    kick ass!

    zephyr, a day without you is like a day spent hazily wandering through fields and hills covered in delicious bread with not a speck of nutella anywhere!

By Trace on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:42 pm:

    What the f*ck is nutella?

By Mavis on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:45 pm:

    nutella is a
    "creamy, chocolatey hazelnut spread"

    it is wonderful on
    graham crackers, bread, and um friends.

By Zephyr on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:46 pm:

    Stop it! You're making me blush!

    I assume nutella is some sort of spread, prolly a butter...?

    Ick. Cockroaches. Story about that...either for here, later, or email me.

    "I'm a mad mouse clicker and have no idea what the hell I'm doing 86.9%* of the time."

    Neither do I...that's why I break more than I fix at work...sigh.

By Trace on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:48 pm:

    Nutella sounds good now...

By Mavis on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:52 pm:

    mmmmm. nutella....
    also good on ice cream
    or a spoon!

    trace---you seemed rather irritated by nutella before...hee hee i'm glad you've settled down!!!!

By Cat on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:54 pm:

    Oh Mavis, what's he got that I haven't got? You never said such sweet things when we were married.

    You don't sing me love songs...You don't bring me flowers...anymooore...

By Trace on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:56 pm:


By Zephyr on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 06:59 pm:

    Mavis! You never told me!
    *sniff* *sob*
    I thought you were mine...now that I know there was someone else...


By Trace on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 07:00 pm:

    i'm so confused.....................................................................

By Zephyr on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 07:02 pm:

    "it is wonderful on
    graham crackers, bread, and um friends"

    Mmm...I have to try that....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

By Cat on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 07:06 pm:

    But watch not to get any graham cracker crumbs in your friends navels. Or have a vacuum cleaner on hand to tidy up. (I read that tip in Cosmo...or was it "The Aussie Mating Rituals Manual for Beginners"...never mind)

By Mavis on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 07:14 pm:

    dearest cat
    a day without you would be like living a whole day thinking there is only one hemisphere and everyone has to wear the same exact shoes and then go home to eat stale croutons and sleep in a damp ditch without ever changing chonies. Plus also would be like winning forty million dollars but you can only use it to buy toothpaste.

By Cat on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 07:26 pm:

    Mavis...ahhhhhhh the magic is still there, my little pumpkin face. Even though thou now lusts after Nutella and not Vegemite, there is still a place in my swag for you.

    After all a day without you is like being able to taste only the cork of the wine, like never smelling the garlic in the bubbling pasta pot on your grandmother's stove and only being able to look at, not stroke, a perfectly purple gleaming piece of satin.

By Mavis on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 07:31 pm:


    vegemite is okay in small doses.
    like tiny specks maybe.

    sometimes i eat marmite but only when i'm being obnoxious and teasing my roommate....

By TBone on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 08:51 pm:

    I'm eating Nutella right now. I'm not telling what I put it on.

By Zephyr on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 10:14 pm:

    Some toast?

    Mavis---A day without you makes for a goshity-darned boring time


    To elaborate, a day without you is like a lifetime without ever kissing someone, like a freezer full of frozen mice when you're looking for an ice cream sandwich (pilate, i must agree, ice cream sandwiches are quality stuff...I want one RIGHT NOW!), like a year of having stomach virus, like never being able to taste wonderful foods, et cetera!

    And cat, a day without you...
    is like
    Running the 2 mile in a track meet in a snow storm after a year of not running, like writing your will in your deathbed and your pen running out of ink, like having your pants invaded by rabid gerbils (shudder)....and so on.

    Sorabji is usually one of the high points of my day...I love all of you people, even the ones I disagree with (of course, I'm excluding satan and others like him)

    i gotta get some nutella. sounds yummy...

    what's vegemite?

By moonit on Thursday, August 10, 2000 - 10:56 pm:

    yuck nutella is gross, but vegemite is yum! altho lots of americans dont like it. when i lived in aussie i always used to eat marmite, when i came back to New Zealand I got my taste back for vegemite.

    Trace send me a mailing address and I will send you some vegemite/marmite and maybe nutella.

    btw pen freaks - I promise they are coming, I have been a slacker - they're siting in my cupboard waiting for me to take them to the post office! Sorry.

By Mavis on Friday, August 11, 2000 - 11:55 am:

    pens!! yay!! i had forgotten......

By Isolde on Friday, August 11, 2000 - 06:54 pm:

    Indeed. Pens.

By Antigone on Friday, August 11, 2000 - 06:55 pm:


    A day without you is like...

    a conversation with myself,
    a word without vowels,
    a journey without epipahny,
    a song without a soul.

By Cat on Friday, August 11, 2000 - 07:36 pm:

    Antigone....A day without you is like all the books I have never read, with their pages of wisdoms still a secret, and their poetry never tripping from my lips. It is a blank page that I stare at, searching for words - finding them missing, and mourning their loss. You are the pen I grip as I write my story.

By Danielssss on Saturday, August 12, 2000 - 12:27 pm:

    and you say, Cat, that you aren't going to share that poetry...

By Gee on Monday, August 14, 2000 - 11:46 am:

    a day without Gee is a waste of a day.

By Trace on Monday, August 14, 2000 - 11:51 am:

    I bet that is especially try for you, Gee....


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