Agatha on Tuesday, October 12, 1999 - 12:18 pm:

    i have started a mail art exchange. basically, you send x amount of items to me, and everyone else sends x amount of items to me, and i shuffle them all and send you x amount of different items. the deadline for this exchange has been delayed because a lot of people decided not to do it after all. i have eight slots left in this particular exchange, and i will start a new one after that. the deadline for this one will be november first.

    email me if you are interested.

By Droopy on Thursday, October 14, 1999 - 05:15 pm:

    i think everybody needs to do this. get off your asses. when aggie asked me to do it i just got an envelope and filled it up with random crap from around my apartment, and you can too.

    if we can get through this round i might start sending more interesting stuff like the mysterious skull i found in my garage, something from my antique prophylactic collection, and other great stuff.

By Waffles on Thursday, October 14, 1999 - 05:17 pm:

    i did , but agatha hasn't responded....i am not surprised....assuming she got my email....

By J on Thursday, October 14, 1999 - 05:21 pm:

    I thought she meant real art,and she didn,t post where to send it.

By Waffles on Thursday, October 14, 1999 - 05:25 pm:

    uhhhhhhhhh what exactly are you saying abou tmy photography J..........she had her email so you could contact her.....

By Agatha on Thursday, October 14, 1999 - 09:43 pm:

    waffles, did you send it to my sorabji address? i didn't get it, at any rate. you can email me at the address below, it's more reliable. you too, j.

    droopy, you rawk as usual.

By Gee on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 12:51 am:

    what kind of Art are we talking about here?

By Nate on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 10:27 am:

    Art Bell. He's some sort of radio personality or something... AM late night radio.

By Agatha on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 11:37 am:

    read christop's definition of art here:

    my definition of art is anything that will fit in a nine by twelve envelope. really, anything you send will be okay, just make sure it isn't boring.

By Waffles on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 11:48 am:

    so am i in the club agatha or what?

By Agatha on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 12:51 pm:

    email me and i will give you the address.

By Waffles on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 12:53 pm:

    did you not receive me email 2 days ago?

By Nate on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 01:38 pm:

    By Agatha on Thursday, October 14, 1999 - 09:43 pm:
    waffles, did you send it to my sorabji address? i didn't get it, at any rate. you can email me at the address below, it's more reliable. you too, j.

    i'm in now.


By Waffles on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 01:56 pm:

    thats weird, uh agatha, uhhhhh nate???? wtf ???

    um yeah i did send it to sorabji, but i will send it to uswest thingy

By Waffles on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 01:57 pm:

    weird, that post of agatha's wasn't there before, or I am an idiot, i think most will agree on the latter

By Agatha on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 02:07 pm:

    it was there. i will say no more.

By Waffles on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 02:24 pm:

    go ahead aggie, milk it for all it's worth, i can take it, really i can

By Swine on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 02:36 pm:

    so what's "x"?

    tomorrow morning i go to the post office and mail all the stuff i've promised to send people over the past 6 months.

    mail art, mix tapes, movies, etc, etc.

    do i still have your physical address?
    is chlorzoxazon a muscle relaxant?
    when i die will i go to heaven?
    will angels pay my bar tab?
    is indomethacin a buzz?

By Agatha on Friday, October 15, 1999 - 05:56 pm:

    whoohoo, swine's in again. i knew you would come around. i guess you got "unbusy". don't hurt me. email me for details, mister pig. the final list will be posted soon, don't get too excited!

By Agatha on Sunday, October 17, 1999 - 01:49 am:

    okay, i think i have the final list for this particular exchange. there will be more if this ends up being worth it. friend katie
    5.mark thomas

    the list is roughly in chronological order, so you don't think i am showing favoritism.

    that should do it for now. i am excited to see what you all have to offer.

By J on Sunday, October 17, 1999 - 02:11 am:

    Thanks Agatha,I will do my best to make you proud.

By Waffles on Monday, October 18, 1999 - 11:57 am:

    its on its way

By MoonIt on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 12:04 am:

    I wanna play!!!!!!! dammit.
    I always miss stuff.

By Agatha on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 05:32 am:

    there will be another one, don't fret my little sweet pea.

By MoonIt on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:01 am:

    hehehe Sweet Pea. My ex boyfriend used to call me that

By Nate on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 01:28 pm:

    agatha is your ex-boyfriend?

By Agatha on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 10:03 am:

    let's not start spreading rumors...

By MoonIt on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 09:39 pm:

    uh only if shes ashes and buried in Nelson. Shit Agatha are you a vampire?

By Agatha on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 02:22 am:


    i have gotten patrick's, and promises from heather and nate that the shit is on the way. let's rock.

    incidentally, if anyone feels like emailing me at the sorabji address and then letting me know that they did it in this thread, i would be in much appreciation. i am testing to see if it is working consistently again.

By Gee on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 01:25 pm:

    I haven't mailed anything, Agatha. And considering the canadian postal system, if you want it by halloween, it's too late for me to mail anything now, anyway. I couldn't think of anything interesting that would fit into a 9x12 envelope, and I didn't want to send you crap.

    I'm sorry I failed you.

By Droopy on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 02:12 pm:

    i sent her crap.

    i can't even remember what anymore.

    just stuff from junk drawers.

    and i was not ashamed.

By Patrick on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 02:30 pm:

    totally, i sen her more crappy crap crap then she can shake a big ass stick at....yep....thats crap alright

By heather on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 03:16 pm:

    you're just as annoying as patrick

By Patrick on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 03:18 pm:

    whats with the bug up your ass heather

By heather on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 03:33 pm:

    if you can have them why can't i?

By Patrick on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 03:35 pm:

    explain yourself heather

By Cyst on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 04:17 pm:

    art is easy.

    I've told people how I've been making a papier-mache head, and they say, "oh, so you're the artistic type."

    no. I don't know anything about art. I can't draw. first-graders can make papier-mache.

    first-graders could also find cool things to put in a 9x12 envelope and send them off to agatha.

    I don't understand why it's taken so long for her to get stuff.

    it's just stuff. just the mail. nothing hard, nothing scary.

By heather on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 04:21 pm:

    my bug here is why do you have to say crap?

    like to denegrate the whole idea and make it not very interesting

By heather on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 04:22 pm:


By Cyst on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 04:33 pm:

    droopy and gee said it first.

By heather on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 04:39 pm:

    very true

    but "totally, i sen her more crappy crap crap then she can shake a big ass stick at....yep....thats crap alright" seems different

    and i was already doing some oppositional thing with patrick for whatever reason

By Nate on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 04:41 pm:

    oh crap.

By J on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 04:49 pm:

    crappy crap crap.

By Patrick on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 05:15 pm:

    wtf heather? i can call my photographs any thing i want to and whether i think it's crap or not is entirely up to me, fucking bite me.........frankly the photographic paper I use is expensive and to think i was going to send my best pictures along that I could be matting and framing to sell is idiotic. perhaps you should go back and see what agatha asked for in the beginning.....i didn't send her crap beacuase i wanted to send her crap, i sent what i could send and personally, it's flawed......TO in dust on the negative, crinkles in the finished print etc etc....i think my images are ok, it's the little flaws that would otherwise prevent me from ....ah CRAP!!!!!!!!!!1
    don't be an ass

By Nate on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 05:18 pm:

    btw: i'm sending real crap.

By heather on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 05:24 pm:


    first, how do i know what you sent?

    original photographs sound great

    "totally, i sen her more crappy crap crap then she can shake a big ass stick at....yep....thats crap alright"

    sounds like you dug stuff out of the neighbor's trash

    listen, i just liked the idea and didn't want to see it belittled

By J on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 05:26 pm:

By J on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 05:27 pm:


By Patrick on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 05:37 pm:

    ask me before you unload on me eh?

By Agatha on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 08:57 pm:

    has anyone emailed me yet? gee, just send some stuff. it doesn't need to get here by halloween, just within the realm of that time. it's NOT A BIG DEAL, as my friend droopy has stated. just send.

    everything i have gotten so far has been way rad.

By Wisper on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 10:35 am:

    agatha...canI be in next time too, pweaze?
    luv you! *kissies*

By Gee on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 11:56 am:

    Okay Agatha. I'll look for something tonight, and I won't be as discriminating.

    Upon reflection, I guess crap has feelings too.

By Rhiannon on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 12:17 pm:

    Me, too. I got some crap I could send, too.

By Agatha on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 02:33 am:

    next one, you are all first on the list. please somebody email me at , i am trying to see if my sorabjimail is giving me grief anymore.

By Agatha on Thursday, November 4, 1999 - 07:10 pm:

    i have all entries except for:
    and margret although i am not sure if she is doing it or not.

    if y'all are bailing, let me know so i can start shufflin and sending.

By Jinafishes on Thursday, November 4, 1999 - 07:54 pm:

    Uhm if there's any room, I'd like to play.

By Swine on Thursday, November 4, 1999 - 07:54 pm:

    nah, i'm still in.

    i'm just a bit.. uh...


By Agatha on Friday, November 5, 1999 - 02:10 am:

    jina, you can do it if i get a dropout. otherwise, i will do it again.

    swine, i'll be there in december- your spanking can wait until then.

By Agatha on Monday, November 22, 1999 - 10:15 pm:

    I GOT MAIL FROM SWINE. it's a fucking miracle. so, my next question is:
    gee? oh, gee?

    are you sending me mail, or would you like to bail? either way is okay. let me know.

By Gee on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 12:46 am:

    Wow. What a coincedence. I just now saw this.

    Just so the rest of the world knows, I tried to play and the postal people rejected me. I'll give it another go.

By Nate on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 11:09 am:

    hey agatha i might have a different address and i don't know so i'll email you.

By Hugh on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 11:30 am:


    now this is funny! OK! bravo!

By Patrick on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 11:52 am:

    yeah Gee, stop holding up the game, eta agatha?

By Jinafish on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 06:20 pm:


    C'MON!!... hurry up. I wanna play. I promise to send really fascinating art that with capture the soul and warm your heart.

By Agatha on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 10:08 pm:

    well, the eta depends on how long things take from canada. i would say a week to ten days to get it all back out to you. i hope you all enjoy it. nate, i got your new address. i'm really happy for you.

By Patrick on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 - 06:09 pm:


By Nate on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 - 07:01 pm:

    you're a bitch, patrick.

    sit tight and good things will come to you.

By Patrick on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 - 07:15 pm:

    now why ya gotta go and call me a bitch? I think my question is a valid one considering nothing has been mentioned about this since November.

By _____ on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 - 07:38 pm:

    sorry guys. i accidentally threw everything away. i thought it was a bunch of geriatric propaganda. the guy we bought the house from was in his eighties (at least) and we still get his junk mail. most of it is about restoring penile vitality and stopping the queering of america. he's a good x-tian man. nothing a few well-placed blood clots can't fix.

By agatha on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 - 07:49 pm:

    it has been mentioned. i said i was sending it out this week. i have no money to buy envelopes and stamps until friday, so that's when i am going to send it all out. i wrote this in another thread sometime last week.

    nate, you good boy.

By Patrick on Wednesday, January 12, 2000 - 07:53 pm:

    i didn't see that post agatha

    damn, people!

By Nate on Thursday, January 13, 2000 - 11:00 am:

    i can't remember if i sent you money for stamps. i did, didn't i?

    at times i indavertantly become a cheap bastard.

By J on Thursday, January 13, 2000 - 11:21 am:

    I sent 2 bucks,was that cheap?

By Nate on Thursday, January 13, 2000 - 11:39 am:

    i think that is what was requested.

By Gee on Thursday, January 13, 2000 - 05:44 pm:

    oh. oops.

    oh well. what's canadian money really worth anyway?

By Moonit on Thursday, January 13, 2000 - 06:48 pm:

    Next time you play I wanna join in okay.
    I bet the New Zealand postal system is way better than the Canadian. *sticking tounge out at Gee*

By Agatha on Friday, January 14, 2000 - 03:03 am:

    don't worry about the money. i am simply stating that i don't have it right at this moment. i get paid tomorrow, so it's no big deal. patrick i'm not mad at you. just pay attention! clap clap.

By agatha on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 02:16 am:

    i put it in the mailbox today! of course, it was a holiday, so it's still in there, but still! hope you are all happy with your items. signup for #2 will begin now, for those who missed out and those who want to do it again. aaight.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 09:03 am:

    Signup #2???? What am I going to signup for? More details please. :)

By Nate on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 11:06 am:


By Spider on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 11:17 am:

    I'm in. You want us to send random crap, right? Papers and pictures and stickers and such?

    What did other people send in? Are we who were not involved in the first effort allowed to know?

By Patrick on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 11:52 am:


By heather on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 12:49 pm:

    yay agatha!

    now i have that 'waiting to get stuff in the mail' feeling- i love that

    (and i'll do it again)

    do you think that it should have some added requirement this time? a theme, maybe?

By Nate on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 12:53 pm:

    theme this.

By heather on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 01:07 pm:



    guess i got a little... (well, i'm not really sure it what it was)

By J on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 01:08 pm:

    I was going to do that on the last one,my number was 12,I wanted to do the 12 months,but only could find trinkets for Easter,Christmas,4th of July,Halloween,Valentines Day,and Thanksgiving,then I got flustered.Count me in.

By agatha on Tuesday, January 18, 2000 - 01:33 pm:

    i'm still thinking about what i want to require out of this one. i have a few ideas, anyone can email me if they have good ideas as well.

By Moonit on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 - 01:04 am:

    I want to play *waving*

By agatha on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 - 01:54 am:

    you're in, girl.

By Patrick on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 - 12:42 pm:

    did you get my email agatha, i know you said before you were having problems with sorabji mail...

By Jinafishes on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 - 12:54 pm:

    Am I too late? I was gone for a while doing my own thing.

By Markus on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 - 01:43 pm:

    You'll go blind doing that.

By Isolde on Wednesday, January 19, 2000 - 05:59 pm:

    me too?

By MapleLeaf on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 08:57 am:

    Count me in too

By sarah on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 05:24 pm:

    i have 3 things to send in mail art.

    does this count? can i get in with just three things?

By Patrick on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 05:35 pm:

    i had suggested to agatha via email that she should establish parameters for this. For example, have 10 different mediums (i.e crayon, acrylics, water colors, magic marker, pencil, construction paper, etc..), assign them to the participants. Obviously she would avoid assigning me photos and swine or nate music, just to keep it interesting.

    I thought this might be interesting if we limit people and see what they make out of it...ya think?

    hell she could take it one step further and assign someone, crayon art on mcdondalds napkins, or magic marker art on magazine pages, or acrylics on toilet paper...the possibilities are endless....

By N.b. on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 06:53 pm:

    No limitations!!!! at least not for "format". I think our creativity would oerleap any bounds set for it anyway.

    possibly an inspirational object, like a word or subject...

    my suggestion: Mark Thomas.

By moonit on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 06:59 pm:

    wooohooo I got IN!

By Patrick on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 07:06 pm:

    exactly my point NB, setting limits on of mediums dares you to go beyond it.

    I find limiting myself to certain, light, lenses, film, subject matter oftens brings about some very stunning pictures........but it's easy for me to start jumping all over the map anyway.

    i just like the idea *...of locking a monkey in a room with 2 crayons and a piece of paper and see what happens..." so to speak...

    i really don't care though, i will let others have a chance at this one since i got in on the last one.

By dirtbag on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 09:41 pm:

    I spank my monkee in a locked room

By agatha on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 10:08 pm:

    i did get your email patrick, but i have been gone for two days meeting my new baby friend. i am intending on setting some vague parameters for this one, but i am still thinking about what they might be. thanks for the suggestion, and everyone please feel free to give me input as well.

    did anyone get any mail yet? it may be a little soon.

By semillama on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 11:53 pm:

    not yet, unless bills are someone's idea of mail art.

By Czarina on Friday, January 21, 2000 - 02:48 pm:

    Are you considering themes? Like somthing from your:
    Bathroom-----lots of artsy stuff there
    Kitchen------wide open to imagination
    Bedroom------self explanatory

    Or maybe geographic,so we can all enjoy the vast expanse of cultural diversity, and "appreciate" each others locale?

By agatha on Friday, January 21, 2000 - 07:33 pm:

    those are good ideas. i am thinking vaguely about incorporating a little writing assignment into this one. that will give me more material for my website, which i swear i am revamping and putting up again, and i could make little books with the writing and mail one to each person. i haven't really worked out the details yet, though, i don't want it to be anything hard. a theme would be good, but nothing too constricting. did anyone get mail yet?

By semillama on Friday, January 21, 2000 - 10:03 pm:

    not yet. I am looking forward to people sharing with us what they recieved. i'm afraid my contribution was spur of teh moment, but there's a clue that it's from me.

By patrick on Monday, January 24, 2000 - 03:38 pm:

    i did ....YAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

    It's great! I have't finished reading some of the more bizarro items. Agatha, the little book with the pictures is outta site!

    Great job and thanks again for the fun treat!!!

By agatha on Monday, January 24, 2000 - 08:20 pm:

    yay! i'm glad you got it. anyone else?

By memphis slim on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 01:34 am:

    i got mine today, too.
    i like the little picture picture/story book
    and the cover of the dirty french novel
    (which, like some kinds of love, combines the absurd with the vulgar)
    and page 204 with the observation on the proper types of entertainment taped into it
    and the rest of it that i'm still in the process
    of experiencing.

By cyst on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 01:49 am:

    the book is the best.

    I sent the dirty french novel. I bought it on the sidewalk outside a bookstore under an awning during a rainstorm in paris one evening last summer. did I tape excerpts from a jehovah's witness magazine onto the pages? they somehow got my friend's address and would wake us up to share the good news.

By slim on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 02:09 am:

    "...clearly, though, much that is called entertainment is inappropriate for those who desire to maintain a healthy mental outlook."
    is taped to my french smut.

    i knew it was from you, by the way.

    i almost sent some american smut. i've got a collection of sex books from the 50' and 60's - either novels or "scholarly" books written by fiction writers who needed extra money - but i forgot.

By J on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 09:18 am:

    I got mine yesterday,I loved it,then my s/o saw it,he said for me not to go to this board anymore,he called us all a bunch of perverts.I wish I hadn,t got so pissed off at Lucy that time,because he never knew about this,till I got so pissed when she said something about our kids leaving home,I was so mad I showed him.It got even worse,I,m still posting from webtv because I can,t figure out much on the computer yet,he said in a week he,s cancelling the webtv service and that anywhere I go on the computer he can track.I finally got what I wanted and I,m afraid to use it now.The fucker turned the webtv off when I was sleeping before he left for work,but at least I could figure that much out.It,s things like this that reminds me why I wanted a divorce.I wish I was anywhere else than here,I just wish I could go away and never come back.

By Czarina on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 10:37 am:

    "J", as I recall, he's pretty perverse himself.
    There is a way to be tracked, he can go into "history",and see where you've been.I'm not sure how to circumvent that, maybe someone here could pass that info onto you,if not, my s/o's cousin is a computer whiz[and a fool,he just got himself a woman from the internet,and he's terrified of her!She came from Wisconsin, and she's extremely jealous,[and trust me, he's no prize],but he's afraid of her,and wants to get rid of her,and thinks she may stalk him.]Anyway, I could probably find out from him how to get rid of your "cookies", but I would prefer not to go to him with this,but will if I have to.Another option, there is always help from both your server,and your computer co.,but hubby might be able to access that info, so if you call,they'll keep records, and he might be able to find out.We'll work out something to get him off your back.If you want to run away from home,you can always come here,its almost time for Mardi Gras,and I know you would enjoy that.
    As we speak,I'm recording that radio program for you,and I know that it will cheer you up, they're so funny and perverse,I went to their web site a few minuets ago, and they had a pic of Hillary Clintons tits with "Walton and Johnson" tatooed on them.

By J on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 10:54 am:

    Thanks Czarina,while I,m bitching I,m glad your making me that tape,the radio station I use to like changed format,canned the station manager who liked me and I,d get concert tickets from him for free,and John and Steffie must have got the boot too and they were I gather like Walton and Johnson.

By Czarina on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 11:16 am:

    J, go to their site, you'll love it!I've listened to them for years,but they keep getting sued and kicked off the air, when you hear them, you'll know why.But they are extremely funny.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 11:34 am:

    WooHoo!!!!...thanks Czarina...I've got a request in to go to a conference in N.O. in April... I'll be sure to check it out.

    Hillary....nice rack!!!

By Czarina on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 11:49 am:

    Are you gonna bring my Chinook?
    You can log on in the AM's and hear the show,I promise, you won't be disappointed.They're divinely disgusting!They just cheer me up every morning.

By MapleLeaf on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 11:57 am:

    Your Chinook goes everywhere I go :)
    I would love to log every morning to hear them but they won't supply us with speakers on our equipment. They tried it once and there were too many people listening to Howard in the morning....productivity is way down. Each spring I go to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina for a vacation and I listen to a couple of guys down there by the name of 'Lex and Terry'. They are a hoot. We could never have stuff like this on radio in Canada......broadcast regulations have enough problems with Howard as it is.

By Patrick on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 12:01 pm:

    J, whats the big deal, it's not porn, and since you don't work, what exactly is so bad or wrong with sorabji. Tell him to lighten up, we are indeed perverts, but if he likes ass fucking and blow jobs, he's no better than the rest of us. As far as your other computer goes, just sit down, turn the bitch and DO IT! It's not hard and if you are using netscape, you can erase your history daily in your "preferences" section under the "edit" menu. New computers are idiot proof and you aren't an idiot in my book, so just sit down and go!

    you can't leave here......

By J on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 12:02 pm:

    We use to have a toyota Chinook,it was a piece of shit,a stick shift no less.

By Patrick on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 12:03 pm:

    the fun part of the mail, is trying to figure out where everything came from. My contribution shouldn't be too hard to determine. But i have some other objects that are curious. Nate's part is a no brainer....."Yahoo/Nate".......

By slim on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 12:18 pm:

    yeah, i gave nate points for sheer audacity. other than that i could i.d. cyst's and semillama's "cat with bob dobbs" photo.

By semillama on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 12:58 pm:

    What was cyst's? My cat is nice, she was willing to pose with that book and everything.

By slim on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 01:29 pm:

    the dirty french novel mentioned above.
    "pas de cravache pour josanne."

    i dig it.
    i wish i had the whole thing.
    and could read french.

By agatha on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 01:41 pm:

    you are all just flattering me, saying that you liked the book the best. go on. i'm assuming that slim is droopy, seeing as how i didn't mail anything to anyone named slim. i really liked the stuff that droopy sent. it was more spectacular when it was all together, however.

By J on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 03:04 pm:

    I got a receipt from Texas must have been droopy,the book really is neat,I was wondering how Agatha did that,then I saw on another thread she is a printer.Boy I was impressed!

By agatha on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 03:26 pm:

    i just made it with copy machines. don't be impressed.

By Isolde on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 05:21 pm:

    Hey. It takes a special talent to make a copy machine work. I struggled with them for years.
    Maybe I'm just dumb.

By Markus on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 05:32 pm:

    If I'd known the project was going to be shipping filth through the mails, I'd have gotten in on it.

By semillama on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 06:43 pm:

    I got strange things in teh mail - how awesome.

    I got french filth from cyst, odd pages of comedic subtley from nate, a letter to mark Thomas discussing "Leaving Las Vegas" from R. C. (or maybe from Mark, i dunno) - she puts those slashes in her handwriting too, prints from patrick, a postcard advertising the Wiseguys' new album (swine i think), the wonderful little art book from agatha, a map to the Royal Ontario Museum (Gee?), a receipt from a Texas medical facility (Droopy?), a page from an Arizona newspaper (J, I presume), plus some things I can't place to people: a blue slip of scrap paper with what looks like book titles and authors and Dewey Decimal System numbers, a used envelope with a girl drawn in marker holding a heart in each hand, an envelope with mailing instructions on the side and a piece of paper inside with a silver star and the words "Communication revolution", and an old receipt from 1936 for a child's purchases at Monnig's "The friendly store" of Ft. worth (droopy again?)

    How wonderful. I think I will send some of these things on to others and keep many. I must do better for the next round, My contribution was small and not really reflective of my creative side. when's the deadline?

    Thanks everyone!

By Isolde on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 08:23 pm:

    Dang. I'm with Markus here.

By cyst on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 11:15 pm:

    I am impressed, agatha. I love it. and I don't love much.

    today I had to open an envelope I had sealed, stamped and addressed because I realized I had spelled "expendable" wrong.

    can't have that.

    I recently made a deck of cards with little pictures like in the book. I sent them all to the guy who pissed me off last night, the guy I sent the letter with the spelling correction. little self-portraits that looked like the devil girl in the tattoo on his leg. the cross between bjork and tura satana.

    he touched me and then said I had to go because he had to watch tv. liar. I'm all done with that shit but he can't fucking behave like a normal person like I'm pretending. it's better this way. of course.

By Gee on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 12:34 am:

    I don't think I fully understood the concept of mailart. You people say you're sending crap, and then you send neat stuff. Liars!

    I'm just a big flop.

By heather on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 01:00 am:


    did everyone get it except for me?

    now i'm horrified that it might have gotten lost and it's not coming

By Gee on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 01:07 am:

    nono, I didn't get anything yet. I'm just saying. based on what the others have said. liars!!

By cyst on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 02:43 am:

    you're in ft. worth, slim droopy?

    today I mailed a pack of necco sweethearts to a friend in ft. worth.

    I wrote his name on a little post-it note, taped it onto the candy box, slapped two 33-cent stamps on it, and dropped it in a mailbox. along with a letter to the guy who pissed me off last night and another letter to a crazy friend in seattle.

    hey, droopy, here's another french smut cover for your viewing pleasure:

By Nate on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 10:42 am:


    if you're using NETSCAPE: ctrl-H, ctrl-A, delete

    don't ask questions, just do it. it will delete your history.

    if you're using that microsoft product, just hit the button that says "history" and start clicking on sorabji addresses and hitting "Delete".

    Agatha: SUCCESS!

    i could identify swine's, droopy's, cyst's, mark's, J's (but only because the postcard has her address on it,) and agatha's. the others, i'm not sure about.

    leaves. i got leaves. i couldn't place the handwriting, though.

    it was much cooler than i imagined. i can't wait for the next one.

By Patrick on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 01:14 pm:

    spider sent the leaves eh?

    I got a blondie patch, J I am looking at you?

    key receipts from texas, B&H Supply, which i thought was the camera supply company, but it's not so nevermind.

    i too got the leaving las vegas letter, haven't finished reading it yet,

    some francs? Cyst I am looking at you.......

    so other random items i can peg......i kinda wished i was a little playful with my pics, kinda dull i know, agatha have you set parameters for the next one? I wanna play.......I have an idea i think...

By Nate on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 01:40 pm:

    oh yeah, i knew your's p-trick.

    a photo of someone's wife's tits. i wonder who?

By semillama on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 01:49 pm:

    I noticed later that I also recieved a half-dollar, a German 5 pfennig(is that correct?) coin, and a condom with "I eat your Fuck" writtenon it. That's Swine, all the way. I really appeciate the German coin, I sort of collect foreign coinage when I stumble across it. I don't collect 'em for value, just because I think they're neat.

    Anyone want to claim the things I couldn't identify with people?

By Nate on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 01:54 pm:

    i want to know who sent the handcuff key.


By agatha on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 02:53 pm:

    okay. everyone is forcing me to come up with parameters for the next one, so here goes.

    1. due date: march 15th. is this too soon?

    2. size: must fit into a 9x12 envelope.

    3. max enrollment: 25 people.

    4. everyone will be required to write a memory from their childhood down. childhood can mean, say, up to 18 years old. it can be as brief or as long as you would like. i will compile them into a book. i may also put them on my web page, so you have to be okay with that.

    5. in addition to the childhood memory, you must send however many people sign up's worth of stuff that addresses the theme "childhood." you can interpret this as loosely as you like. you can send 25 different things, or 25 of the same thing.
    i will probably scan some of the stuff and put it on my web page, just so you know. don't be freaked out by the theme. you can interpret it however you like. i just feel like maybe the last one was a wee bit too loosely structured, so maybe a vague theme might give this one some structure.

    6. please send $3 this time. two dollars wasn't enough, and this one will be bigger. if you send your stuff and find that it weighs more than three dollars, you could also send a self addressed stamped envelope with the correct amount of postage on it. i can also send something priority mail for just under $3. canadian and or international people, you will need to figure out your own postage. you can just send a self addressed stamped 9X12 envelope, that will make things easier on me.

    7. email me to sign up, i will make a list on the stupid delphi website and move most of this discussion over there so that we don't take up mark's bandwidth.

    okay? does this sound cool with everyone?

By agatha on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 03:00 pm:

    gee, your stuff was fine. don't worry. you may not get your photos back, however. unless you can track them down.

By Markus on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 03:33 pm:

    More to the point, if you're using Metscape, Alt-E, E, set "Pages expire" to 0. Microsoft thing, Alt-V, O, set days to 0. THen you won't have to erase history every time.

By Rhiannon on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 07:02 pm:

    Those leaves weren't from me.

By Nate on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 07:06 pm:

    i thought the leaves were either from sem or from gee.

By semillama on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 08:21 pm:

    All I remember sending was the picture of my cat with "Bob" (which apparently went to droopy) and a picture taken of my computer which coincidently was displaying the message boards. I can't remember if I sent anything else.

    i promis eto be much cooler next time - i just slacked off completely the first round.

By Gee on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 02:27 am:

    I don't need the photo's back, I have copies.

    I hope I get a condom. If I do I'll give it to the boy I like. hint hint.

By droopy on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 05:51 am:

    liked the picture, cyst. it surprises me that you would know someone in fort worth. small world.

    i might have been the one who sent that key, nate. it's been so long i can't remember. i almost sent a set of lock picks, but i didn't think any sorabjites should have those.

By cyst on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 10:40 am:

    my friend apparently lives 4.8 miles southwest of you. right near some mall with five letters in the name.

By Nate on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 10:48 am:

    back when i was working, ahem, as a, ahem, towtruck driver, ahem, i was able to purchase, ahem, a nice set of lock picks, ahem, mailorder.

    it was a bent handcuff type key. big one though.

    gee, you getting laid? you trying to tell us somehting?

By Patrick on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 01:04 pm:

    yeah, nate, my contribution is indeed a no brainer, agatha, if i didn't make it clear yet, put me down, and otherwise i think your parameters are fine........

    your sure do buy a lot of keys there droop!

By droopy on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 02:01 pm:

    that receipt is from when i worked at a locksmith's shop. it's for key blanks. i think i got two things from you, patrick. one is a picture of a striking young woman in a shirt with, i think, dragons on it; the other is a guy who kind of looks like a young william h. macy reading a book in bed. both have "pm 99" on them.

    4.8 miles from me personally, cyst? sounds like it's hulen mall. by the way, if any of you got a receipt or whatever with an address on it - that's my old address. if you mail threats, bombs, or used underwear there it will be received by a barrel-chested guy named salvatore.

    figures nate would have lock picks. now that i think about it, the key that i sent was an old timey ward key.

By Nate on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 02:23 pm:

    i hear J will mail used underwear.

By cyst on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 02:59 pm:

    yeah, hulen mall.

    my friend moved back to ft. worth to escape an ex-girlfriend he only ever referred to as "monster." she dumped him for a heroin user who plays stand-up bass. he's a super nice, cute little jewish guy with a southern drawl. he wants me to visit, but there are other places I would rather go.

By J on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 03:14 pm:

    I will be at the Houston Airport on March 17th for 2 and a half hours,thank God airports have bars.I have a small but growing used underwear buisness,but will gladly contribute for the cause.

By Gee on Friday, January 28, 2000 - 02:13 am:

    I'm not getting laid. Actually, the boy I made out with asked me if I was "getting any", because I wore too much purple the other day. I guess he was concerned for me.

    I just thought giving Ishmael a funny looking condom would be an interesting hint as to how I felt about him. Not as neat as punching him in the face and so-on, but not bad, eh?

By Gee on Friday, January 28, 2000 - 01:01 pm:

    Well so much for that plan. I didn't get a condom! I can't believe it! Does this mean I have to go buy my own? Where's the justice??

    Agatha, they're all right, your little book really rocked.

    were we supposed to use those great big envelopes? If so I got my measurments way off. Next time I will be better.

By agatha on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 02:34 pm:

    here is where the mail art list thus far is, and any other info will be there, too. you need to get a user name and password to log in. i know it's lame, but it's free.

    anyone else who wants to participate can send me email or post on the delphi page.

By Rhiannon on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 03:58 pm:

    Did you tell us the address to send our stuff to? If so, could you tell us (errr, me) again?

By Isolde on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 04:34 pm:

    Delphi frightens me. And my computer, I guess, since it didn't let me post, and then when it did, it ended up in the wrong place entirely. *glowers*
    But I tried?

By agatha on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 09:27 pm:

    i will post my address on delphi. isolde, can you try again? i don't really want to put everything on here, if you can't get on i will just email you.

By Isolde on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 09:48 pm:

    No. I finally figured it out. I'm just a dork.

By J on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 10:04 pm:

    No you aren,t,and your funny too:)

By Isolde on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 10:19 pm:

    I do this wierd litle thing where I kind of duck my head into my shoulders when I'd embarressed. Needless to say, I just did it.
    Delphi is just laid out in this really funky way that wierded me out for a minute there. Mark's got the right idea with his message interface.

By Rhiannon on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 10:36 pm:

    I do that too, Isolde. When I laugh, sometimes, also. But I *know* I'm a dork.

By Rhiannon on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 10:37 pm:

    Err, not to say that you are one, too. Maybe the head-ducking thing and the dork state are independent of one another.

By Isolde on Sunday, January 30, 2000 - 10:52 pm:

    I think they're related, actually. I don't know where I picked it up from, but I kind of bring my head forward and my shoulders up like a turtle. Wierd. That and I tilt my head to look at stuff. It adds an--interesting slant--to life.

By Rhiannon on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 12:14 am:

    Oh my God, I do that tilt thing too. But I do it when I listen to people. Someone once told me it reminded him of they way his dog looks at him when he talks to it. I don't think that was a compliment.

    Here's a question: have you ever laid down on the floor just to look at the room in a new perspective?

By Patrick on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 12:51 pm:

    yep droop, thats the one, thats my friend john and my wife

By J on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 01:16 pm:

    I got a bottle opener, that came in handy,and Sem that wasn,t just a piece of paper,it was where I won two movie tickets and a tee shirt for my response to the yak-back section.

By semillama on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 06:47 pm:

    Oh, shit your'e the Big Lebowski? That was the only response that wasnt' completely lame! In fact, it rocked! J, you have cemented yourself a place in the pantheon of short duration personal saviours for that one.

By Isolde on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 10:51 pm:

    Yes, I have. It's fun. Although, being so short, it's hardly needed.
    And I tilt my head when I'm concentrating on someone too...

By Rhiannon on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 11:41 pm:

    How short is short, if you don't mind me asking?

By semillama on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 11:48 pm:

    I'll bet I won't think you're short!

By Isolde on Monday, January 31, 2000 - 11:55 pm:

    Really? how much?

By Rhiannon on Tuesday, February 1, 2000 - 12:11 am:

    Are you asking me or him? I'm 5'4"

    (Not all that short, I admit, but I feel short on the inside, too, so that's got to count.)

By Isolde on Tuesday, February 1, 2000 - 12:23 am:

    I was asking him how much he'd bet, actually...

By Rhiannon on Tuesday, February 1, 2000 - 12:25 am:


By Isolde on Tuesday, February 1, 2000 - 12:45 am:

    Don't be. I was just clarifying. I wonder if he's chickening out here...

By J on Tuesday, February 1, 2000 - 09:21 am:

    I loved the Big Leblowski,I wish I could go bowling in my p.j.s,the part when they hit him on the head and he trips out had me hysterical.

By semillama on Tuesday, February 1, 2000 - 06:30 pm:

    I would bet a mix tape of groovy reggae.

    I am 5'6". Rhiannon is what I consider medium height.

    Now fess up.

By Jina on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 12:28 am:

    I wish I was 5'7". But I'm 5'6". My husbands' 6'5".

By Jina on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 12:37 am:

    Is it just me, or is the typefont for Delphi really fucked?

By agatha on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 12:38 am:

    i hate delphi. i'm glad you are all checking in on there, though. did you all take the poll?

By Isolde on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 12:53 am:

    I am one inch above the height of a legal midget. Which is not very fun, since I get all the mockery and none of the benefits. For those of you who don't know the height of a legal midget, let it be said that I am 4'11"

By Gee on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 02:11 am:

    Semillama, you're just a wee thing! I never knew that. I comment about you because I usually expect boys to be the same hight or taller than me. Girls I expect to be shorter. I'm 5'8. does anyone care?

By Nate on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 10:31 am:

    holy moly.

    i'm 6'10". you're all wee things.

    all three women on my team are 4'11".

    but they all wear heels that bring them up to about 5'3".

By agatha on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 11:48 am:

    you are not 6'10". liar.

    my sister is just under five feet, also. she's badass. i am five six.

By Nate on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 11:52 am:

    5'10", rather.

By cyst on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 03:56 pm:

    what does it mean to be a "legal midget" and what are the benefits associated with being one?

By Patrick on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 05:15 pm:

    they don't like the term midget, dwarf is considered appropriate

By Isolde on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 07:42 pm:

    Well...anyway. It means that one is eligible for government benefits due I feel so jipped. Anyway. I've given up trying to be tall in any way, shape or form. It's just hell when you're trying to kiss some hulking monstor like Nate, though.

By cyst on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 08:38 pm:

    what government benefits? disability? for being 4'10? boo-fucking-hoo.

By semillama on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 08:48 pm:

    I still don't think you're short, Isolde. I only have seven inches on you (of height! height you sick fucks!).

    Once, I had the nickname of "Stump" for a short while. It's probably the most appropriate nickname I ever had.

    Gee, no offense. What's funny is I always imagined you as shorter than me. Not because you're a woman, but how you come off online.
    For the record, I have a mental image of most folks here being taller than me, even before I saw pictures of any of you. I defintily get the tall vibe from Cyst, Swine, Czarina, R. C., and even Margret.

By Isolde on Wednesday, February 2, 2000 - 08:50 pm:

    I think it's something like a handicapped thing for your window, more social security, that kind of stuff. Seeing as how I'm an inch too big, I never fretted too much about it. I'm sure there are people who know more about this than I. It's a disability.
    I've never actually had any problems with it. I get into movies theatres far cheaper than normally. I would get carded, but people here basically know me. It's actually really useful to be so small. I think people should get disability for being over 6 ft. if anything.

By Gee on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 03:40 am:

    "dwarf" is most deffinatly Not appropriate. Not unless you're refering to a character from the Wizard of Oz. Wait...were you joking? I think you were joking. ha...sorry.

By Ask Mr. Reference on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 04:01 am:

    Actually, as noted above, dwarf is considered the appropriate term for persons with a genetic condition resulting in short stature. Though a few people consider the term as offensive as midget and prefer "little person".

By droopy on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 04:29 am:

    as far as disability benefits go: i don't know what the wee folk get, but i can tell you that as a wheelchair guy i get certain tax breaks. for example, i don't have to pay sales when i buy a car because i'm going to have to pay retrofit the thing to make it driveable anyway.

    and the appropriate term to use when referring to me is "sweet thang."

By J on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 08:15 am:

    Sem,I,m 5'8,Czarina is smaller than you.

By Nate on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 10:55 am:

    "and even Margret." shitballs. margret is like 9 feet tall.

    she told me.

By JusMiceElf on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 11:36 am:

    Actually, Dwarf and Midget mean two different things. A dwarf is someone who has a somewhat normal sized trunk, and abnormally short limbs. A midget is normally proportioned, just darned short. Medically, they are different as well, both can be genetic, but you could be a midget as a result of a glandular condition. But little person is the current socially preferred term.

By Nate on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 11:43 am:

    damn, i saw this flick called MIDGET MADNESS. holy shit, all those little guys have bubble butts. they walk around like tiny satyrs.


By J on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 12:39 pm:

    Did anyone see the little people k.k.k.,ers that were on Jerry Springer a few weeks ago?That was just sick.

By agatha on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 01:06 pm:

    i think little people is way condescending. i would not liked to be called a little person, if i were a midget or dwarf. this girl is on jerry springer, she wants to have sex with 2000 men in one day, and she just confessed to her husband that she is a porn star, which he didn't know. how pathetic. i feel bad for him.

By Czarina on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 03:38 pm:

    I'm 5'1"----That made me feel good to hear that Semillama thought I was tall,cause sometimes I feel tall,but mostly I'm short.But I don't like when people pick me up, "you're just so cute,I'm just gonna pick you up and squeeze you".This is just too much of an invasion of my personal space,how would they like it if I said "your'e just so tall,I'm gonna drive my incredibly sharp,dagger like fingernails into your scrotum"

By Jina on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 03:55 pm:

    I just read a thing about midgets a couple days ago. Probly synchronicity. It was from the book Shrodinger's Cat. There's a midget in it called Markoff Chaney. He had a complex with the Amazons, but he finally gathered up his strength, swaggered into a bar, up to a Giant and asked, "What would you say to a friendly little fuck?" She looks down at him and says, "Hello friendly little fuck." Women became #1 on his shit list.

    He ran around throwing monkey wrenches in everything, changing management signs, changing the walk light from green to red and don't walk vice versa, and other weird miscellania. Very good book.

    But the authors whole purpose of puting him in the book was about their point of view. What their world must look like. Their faces at the same level of asses and crotches, and their response. The mgt.

By Isolde on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 07:14 pm:


By Dripdripdrip on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 07:31 pm:

    i'll bet that the one thing that is more offensive to a very short person than being called midget or dwarf is being the subject of a discussion by a bunch of tall people on what to call them.

    or what their perspective might be.

By cyst on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 08:33 pm:

    what about us poor giantesses? cars and planes aren't big enough. pants and sleeves aren't long enough. people say dumb things to us. guys don't chase us much. we're more likely to get cancer.

    I want a tax break too.

By Isolde on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 08:47 pm:

    I think no one deserves a tax break for height. I have the opposite problem--everything is huge on me, I need a stepladder to get into the front seat of my car, I have to sit in the front row at the movie theatre to see over everyone's heads...horrible. My only advantage is that I have tiny hands that fit in lots of places, and I can become very small at will.

By droopy on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 11:21 pm:

    of the things cyst listed, i only get tax breaks for two of them - cars and medical care.

    planes - this was my last plane trip to acapulco: at the airport i am put on the plane first. i roll down to the door (hatch?) of the plane in my own chair and they put me on a special narrow wheelchair and wheel me back to a seat at one of the bulkheads (where the partition between first and second class is and where there is a couple of feet of room in front of the seat) and i transfer into my seat. they fold up my chair and store it in this little closet in the bulkhead.

    at acapulco i wait till everyone else is off the plane and am then once again put into the narrow chair. this time, of course, i have to go down those stairs they place against the side of the plane. i am hoisted down by two guys who nervously jabber to each other in spanish all the way down. it's a little like going down a very slow escalator between two guys who are arguing with each other.

    acapulco is nice. i'm there for a week and drink lots of margaritas and cerveza from this bartender who calls himself sam. he loves to introduce me to the local guys as bob, john, bill, etc.

    back home. reverse the process. two guys yammering, up the stairs. this time, though, i forget to bring the chair on the plane with me and let them stow it with the rest of the luggage. back in the u.s. i am put in the small chair to get me off the plane, and then put in a big bulky chair to get me to the luggage pick up area.

    where i am greeted with: "what wheelchair?" i waited for 15 minutes in agony until finally somebody finds it.

    on both trips i was carrying weed stuffed inside the body of my wheelchair.

    clothes - clothes don't fit me well, either. especially pants. i buy these specially cut pants from germany from a place called rollimoden (rollstuhlfahrer moden).

    being chased - women actually seem to like me better in wheelchair. probably has to do with the fact that if they run they know i can't catch them.

    if i got money for every time somebody said stupid things to me, i'd never have to work again.

By droop on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 11:27 pm:

    what i said about sam i meant the other way around - he would introduce the local guys AS bob, john, etc. some weird game with him.

By Isolde on Thursday, February 3, 2000 - 11:33 pm:

    Sweet! I used to get offered to be seated on planes first, because of size...wierd. Good way to smuggle weed. Nicely done. Clothing for anyone who doesn't fit a standard is well-nigh impossible. I feel you there. Every time I get a pair of pants, half the pant leg gets hemmed up just so I can walk and not have my pants dragging on the ground...

By semillama on Friday, February 4, 2000 - 12:10 am:

    Is there actually any way to refer to someone who is shorter than average without being offensive in some way? Seriously, I tried to think of one, and no good.

    Then I started thinking about all the "little people" in fantasy novels and RPG's hobbits and dwarves and halflings and such. Would a halfling actually want to be called that? Such lack of foresight in these things.

    And how come you never hear similar terms for tall people as much? And if you do, there's usually some admiration in it.

    Just remember, you tall folks: You 're all too big to fir on the escape rockets.

By Isolde on Friday, February 4, 2000 - 12:20 am:

    I don't think there is. I don't really care what people call me. It's never been a big issue with's a good question. Halfling. Yeah. I guess it wouldn't be very nice to call someone that.

By agatha on Friday, February 4, 2000 - 02:07 am:

    you know, droop, when i was reading that story i was thinking to myself, "geez, droopy could smuggle some crazy drugs on the plane, i'll bet." then, boom, there it was right on the next line. synchronicity.

By Gee on Friday, February 4, 2000 - 03:30 am:


    it's not a contradiction, you just reminded me of it, so I'm sharing.

By moonit on Friday, February 4, 2000 - 04:35 am:

    The Grump hates it when I wear big shoes cause I'm taller than him. When I'm not wearing shoes we're the same height, but I never think of him as short.

By Nate on Friday, February 4, 2000 - 10:53 am:

    i think the appropriate term for short people is "half pint" or "jawa".

By R.C. on Friday, February 4, 2000 - 05:42 pm:

    Hey Droopy -- if you come & visit me/will you bring along some contraband? The powdered kind wd be preferable/but the herbal kind is cool too.

    But wait -- didn't the dogs sniff yr chair while you were waiting to board? Last time I flew to NY/we were all lined up to check our bags & they came thru w/the drug-sniffing dogs/right there in the middle of the terminal.

By droopy on Saturday, February 5, 2000 - 10:39 am:

    nope. or at least there was no sniffing done at the dallas airport. the chair itself wasn't treated as baggage. they checked the backpack and pouch, but not the chair's frame. also, i'm in the chair for most of the time till i actually get on the plane.

    the frame of the chair i had at the time was made of tubular aluminum that was sectional and could be taken apart if you really, really tried (it involved a lot of hammering). i dismantled my wheelchair, made theses little sausages of weed with plastic wrap, and stuffed all the available space with contraband. when the chair is put back together, it looks like it's one piece, so it never occurred to anyone that there could be drugs in there.

    the chair i could do that with died, though. in fact, the story of its death is on agatha's web page. the one i've got now is a solid-frame and can't be taken apart. well, maybe the back rest. i'll have to take it apart sometime. i wonder where my hex wrench is.

By agatha on Tuesday, March 28, 2000 - 02:56 pm:


    I have three mail art entries so far. Who's still sending shit? Let me know.

By Jina on Tuesday, March 28, 2000 - 04:33 pm:

    3? Wow. Well I'm still sending something. I've got 16 items now. We need 25 right?

By semillama on Tuesday, March 28, 2000 - 05:16 pm:

    Wasn't the deadline the 13th?

    And I thought I was dragging my ass the whole time I was being punctual.

By spider on Tuesday, March 28, 2000 - 05:24 pm:

    you need 18 items.

    come on, people! get on the stick!

By JusMiceElf on Tuesday, March 28, 2000 - 07:53 pm:

    okay, okay....I have a pile of stuff on the table by the TV. I guess I should count it, and make sure I have enough.

By Nelly on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 01:49 am:

    doing my best
    i'm going to get on the stick as soon as I can get off about 7 other sticks (from work). This w.e. for sure.

    really worked on it last weekend, almost done. 1-10 completed, 11-14 3/4 done, 15-18 started. i knew it would turn into an obsession. even so, it's not going to be perfect. but i have to document it before letting it go too, for my sister. (she saw some of it, and it was her childhood too.) do you have a scanner?

By droopy on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 02:23 am:

    i've got stuff, i swear. none of it will have anything to do with my own childhood.

    'cept the story. am i supposed to send that hardcopy or email it?

    there may be a little delay due to weather.

By J on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 03:49 am:

    I,m back from paradise I can still come through just give me a few days to do my laundry and house work.I thought I could pull 25 things out of my ass,I can still come threw.

By 18 on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 08:20 am:


By Rhiannon on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 08:34 am:

    Welcome back, J! Did you have a good time in Costa Rica?

By semillama on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 08:35 am:

    18 things that is.

    although, it just occurred to me - are there19 people participating or 18? if 18, wouldn't it have made sense to sent 17 things, because you would not count yourself among the 18?

By Patrick on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 11:38 am:

    yeaaaaaaaa J!!!!!!!

By agatha on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 12:10 pm:

    Happy to hear from you, Droop. I was going to email you and make sure you were okay. Nelly, you are excused because you told me you weren't going to be ready. Moon Unit is not going to be participating, because she's going through some hard times. I haven't heard from Mapleleaf in months, so I'm not sure about his deal. Spiracle has been quiet, too. Swine and Nate are always late. I'm not in a rush, anyhow, just thought I would remind people.

By agatha on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 12:11 pm:

    Welcome back, J. How was your trip?

    If any last minute people want to join the mail art thing, email me.

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 03:24 pm:

    Agatha....I am touched that you missed me just made my day. Unfortunately I will not be able to participate in your scheme....chasing viruses, phreaks, hackers and zoombies appears to have become a full time job....why do most of these 'things' have to originate in Canada?

    When I get a chance I get on here to look to see what's going on...not much lately.....heart gave a start a while ago when L (Lucy?) had something to say :0)

    R.C. seems to have clammed up on her dealings with the Chef. What happened?

    Enjoyed Nico.......and Patrick.

    Welcome back J!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By semillama on Wednesday, March 29, 2000 - 08:19 pm:

    nothing much is what R.C. was getting across. Too uncommitable, I suppose. Fool!

    Tell us all about it, J. At least what you can manage to remember.

    I do hope you had enough fun so that chunks of your memory are gone.

    Seen any chupacabras?

By J on Thursday, March 30, 2000 - 01:45 pm:

    I saw little white faced monkeys playing hide and seek,I scored a half a bag of Columbian weed my first night there,I had to take a charter plane to the jungle and even after 1 xanax and 2 valium I was still so scared the pilot had to put my seat belt on for me,shaking all over.I comforted myself when we landed by the thought that those people will never see me again.I saw a volcano,the last night there my husband had to get someone to help him get me up the stairs.I don,t know what chupacabras are but we pulled off the road and these aninmals called coatamondies(SP,My spellimg didn,t get any better in paradise)came right up to me and let me pet them.Our first night in San Jose we walked down to a neighborhood bar,they have a beer that is called Imperial that is fine,fine,fine.Then we had to walk down a little further to get change we went to the hotel Del Ray,sat down and right away I could see the place was full of hookers,I told my husband that and he said ,"oh J it,s fri. night these are just young girls out for a good time".Well he was right about that,but they weren,t going to do it for free.I saw a man fingerbanging one of those girls right at the bar.I made him take me back there the next day,in the afternoon just to prove it,as soon as I went to the restroom one came up to him,he showed her his ring and said I was in the restroom,while I was in the restroom the best looking girl there came in,as I was washing my hands and she was primping,I noticed "her" adams apple,I know a drag queen when I see one.I went and sat back down,he told me I was right that a hooker came up to him the minute I left the table and he wanted to go,I told him about the drag queen and told him I wasn,t about to go till I saw her score,took about 20 minutes,I was cracking up,some old dude about 70 was in for a real surprise or maybe not.I have more stories to tell,I just can,t say enough about the place,the flowers,the birds,the buterflys,but best of all the people,I mean I have never been anywhere where the people were so nice,I really didn,t want to come home.Czarina,the pool boys YES!!!I don,t think I,m up to it now ,but remind me to tell you how a certain asshole made us miss the plane from Houston to Phoenix on our way home and why we had to spend the night at the Wyndham Greenspoint Hotel overnight and how those theiving bastards charged us $42.00 fucking for two phone calls about two minutes each,and I,m no deadbeat,but I,m going to stiff them.Also remind me to tell you about Geraldo,I,m no angel either. Cyst,I hope you didn,t get implants,Fetid Beaver what can we do to help?Gee,I met two cute young boys from Toronto and told them about you and Sorabji,but I was so fucked up I hope they forgot.I also danced at the neighborhood bar in San Jose,it was very narrow but I,d kick my leg out the door and everyone was cracking up,the cook even came out of the kitchen to watch.If you,re going to shit don,t do it in your backyard,also I had my husband take a couple of pictures of my ass,I have the blanket over my head,but for sure it,s my ass.

By Rhiannon on Thursday, March 30, 2000 - 01:57 pm:

    Holy cow, J! It sounds like the trip was a blast!

By semillama on Thursday, March 30, 2000 - 04:58 pm:

    Make sure you sneak one copy of the ass photo in the mail to Nate.

By Jina on Thursday, March 30, 2000 - 05:19 pm:

    I have a friend who's going to Costa Rica on the 10th of April. I would LOVE to see the butterflies. There's spose to be over 3,000 species of them.

    She's going to Guatemala too. I told her about the Guerilla warfare. And that my dad volunteered to go to a drug warehouse there and get the coordinates so they could blow the fuck out of it. And they did. But I didn't say it to tell her that what she's doing is wrong and that she'll die a horrible grotesque death. It is an adventure after all.

By Gee on Friday, March 31, 2000 - 01:56 am:

    cute boys from Toronto are Always welcome at Sorabji. that's our policy, and we do enforce it.

    I'm glad you had fun, J. We missed you horribly.

By agatha on Thursday, April 6, 2000 - 03:02 pm:


    nate, swine, sarah, spiracle, any others who i haven't heard from, this reminder is for you.

    i don't care when the stuff gets here, i just want to make sure people are reminded of this trivial event.

By sarah on Friday, April 7, 2000 - 03:11 am:

    fuck. i haven't been paying attention. i'm too tired to read through this immense scroll.

    so what do i need to do?

    please email me the details. please?

By Nelly on Friday, April 7, 2000 - 09:30 pm:

    you slackards.

    today I'm going to finish #18 and then all I have to do is the knots, and maybe scan the darn things since i put so much BLOOD, TOIL, TEARS AND SWEAT into them. and then mail 'em.

    i hope you all deserve this.

By agatha on Saturday, April 8, 2000 - 01:39 am:

    i can't wait to see it, nelly. sarah, i will email you (slacker).

By J on Monday, May 22, 2000 - 11:35 am:

    I have been hampered in my mail art project because I need my printer hooked up,but yesterday I went to check in on my mother and she gave me a box of some of my old stuff,my old report cards,some of my old school pictures,baby pictures, my baby book,even a bag of my hair that I lost in a junior high cat-fight,go figure.Here is what is really funny,my husband was there putting a clock up for her,I pull out this envelope and there are all these cut up pictures in them.They were of me and my s/o,but he was cut out of all them,what the hell was she thinking.Anyway I have some new stuff to work with and I,m getting my project done right away,I hope I,m not the last slacker,if I am please remember that I,ve had some unpleasant things happening in my life lately and have been discombobulated.

By agatha on Monday, May 22, 2000 - 12:17 pm:

    oh no, j, you're definitely not the last slacker. there are at least ten more. are you going to send the pictures with the s/o cut out of them? at least one?

    when j's stuff gets here, i will have six entries including my own. i've had four bail outs.

By J on Monday, May 22, 2000 - 12:30 pm:

    Yea,I,ll send the pictures,anyone have a hair fetish?Is the number still 14 Agatha?

By Isolde on Monday, May 22, 2000 - 07:03 pm:

    Wow. I was beginning to wonder what had happened to the mailart.
    All of you slackers, get posting your boxes! I mailed mine months ago! (Except J, 'cause she just explained why she hasn't done it yet.)

By semillama on Tuesday, May 23, 2000 - 08:43 am:

    Mine actually made it by the deadline. I made a prediction that this project won't get back in the mail until august.

    So get up on it, you dorks!

By Isolde on Tuesday, May 23, 2000 - 10:36 am:

    You're probably right. We could start a betting pool...

By JusMiceElf on Tuesday, May 23, 2000 - 10:43 pm:

    I am slacker number two. I actually have everything gathered in a pile in my room, but I need to send it. I think I got the last couple of things from my folks house over Passover, and would have sent it, but various family circumstances intervened. I still have to write my little bit, but that shouldn't be what's holding me up. I promise to get it out soon.

By wisper on Friday, May 26, 2000 - 03:30 am:

    mail me, Agatha, mail meee!!!

By agatha on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 12:34 pm:

    how funny that i'm talking about slackers earlier in this thread. i am the biggest one of all.

    anyhow, just wanted to let you all know that i worked on the mail art a lot this weekend, cut out over 400 little pictures, covers are printed, text is copied, so it shouldn't be too much longer here.

    some of you may want to email me your addresses again, just in case. use the email address, or i have most of them, and i will email to make sure that they are right before i mail stuff out.

    hopefully, your patience will be rewarded.

By Platypus on Monday, June 25, 2001 - 11:29 pm:


    Speaking of mail, moonit, has my candy gotten there yet?

By moonit on Tuesday, June 26, 2001 - 04:35 am:

    yes yes yes did you not get my million emails of thanks? I am trying to find you the perfect kiwi present to send in return, because that was a hell of a lot of candy, and very much dollars spent on postage, and it is fantastic. the boy and i are going halves in everything, tonight we're sharing skittles. TOMORROW THE WORLD.

    oh no thats not right. um yeah. good candy!

By patrick on Tuesday, June 26, 2001 - 11:28 am:

    first candy, then the tupperware and Avon.

By Platypus on Tuesday, June 26, 2001 - 04:28 pm:

    Yay! I'm glad it got there. My e-mail has been randomly censoring things for me, so I wasn't sure if you had mailed or not.

    Ah, but they weren't my dollars...they were work's dollars! Hee hee. I'm glad you all are enjoying the candy, though...

    I wonder how much it would cost to send a medium sized avon lady to new zealand? I'd probably have to fed ex her so she would arrive crisp.

By pez on Tuesday, June 26, 2001 - 05:40 pm:


    a nose should arrive in the mail for you around saturday.

By moonit on Wednesday, June 27, 2001 - 01:11 am:

    Platypus, I sent you about three emails, one had a plan on how to meet your neighbour, the other was a many thankyou'd email, and the last one was a thanks again email with the offer of a free gift with no purchase necessary. With much questioning as to what you'd like.... grr

    wooohooooie I need a new nose - so sick of this bloody flu thats going round.

By pez on Wednesday, June 27, 2001 - 01:37 am:

    good. i sent it via air mail on saturday, so it should arrive soon. there's a zine in there too, to wipe your old one on.

By agatha on Monday, November 11, 2002 - 02:51 pm:

    I'm really lame. I have been working consistently on the mail art, and I need help remembering who sent me what. I had an accident and dropped the whole project, and I only just this weekend got everything all sorted and separated out. Shout if you sent any of these things (I suspect some of this is from Droop, who doesn't have internet access, but maybe I can do process of elimination...)
    1. small round toy with a face and a chain- the chain moves around to make different noses on the face. i didn't explain that very well, but you'll understand if you sent it...
    2. zorro book
    3. kazoo and helicopter- platy?
    4. play money
    5. little yellow coat
    6. story about the library- nelly?
    7. story about being lonely and going in the woods- sem?
    8. greek money- platy, or droopy?
    7. old black and white photo of a little girl in a white dress sitting on a lawn

    i think that's it.

    i promise this stuff to you by mid december. it will be kind of like a christmas present.

By J on Monday, November 11, 2002 - 02:54 pm:

    I think I'm that little girl:)

By semillama on Monday, November 11, 2002 - 02:59 pm:

    That story about the woods might be mine, but i can only confirm it by kowing certain details, which i don't want to ruin the surprise by stating such details here. You can email me Agatha.

By Spider on Monday, November 11, 2002 - 03:08 pm:


    And Agatha, you will get your shrine. It's already made, I just have to fix some pieces that fell off.

    Though....if I were *really* ambitious, I would make you a new one, since this one isn't as nice as it could be. It does have a Christmas theme to it, though. Maybe I can find a better picture....

By agatha on Monday, November 11, 2002 - 03:21 pm:

    I thought that was you, J. Your section of the mail art is jam packed!

    Spider, you are so cool. You should punish me by sending it to me two years late.

    I think two or three of those things are from JustMiceElf, who posts about once every two months now that he's all married and shit.

By Platypus on Monday, November 11, 2002 - 06:43 pm:

    The helicopter is all me. I'm not sure about the kazoo. I might have sent that. It seems like something I would have included.

    Is the greek money in coins or paper? If it's coin, I probably sent it. And if the play money is monopoly money, that might be something I sent too. Not sure. Trying to remember is sort of fun.

    I'm not sure what address you have for me right might want to email me. I would be very sad if some undeserving sod living in one of my former abodes got my mailart, since I've moved a lot in the past few years.

    p.s. YOU ROCK!

By agatha on Monday, November 11, 2002 - 07:26 pm:

    Oh, don't worry, I'm going to double check everyone's addresses before I send it all out. It has been two years, after all.

    I think you did send the kazoo and the helicopter, I remember them coming in the same box. The greek money was paper, I think it might have been you or Droopy. I think the play money was justmiceelf, but I'm not sure.

    Oh, I just remembered something else...
    a small envelope of stamps- I believe they were African?

By JusMiceElf on Tuesday, November 12, 2002 - 09:10 pm:

    Agatha, I think the story about the woods is me. It goes with the black and white photo of the gravestone in the snow. The yellow coat is probably me as well--does it look like Paddington's coat? The play money might or might not be me. I dunno.

    And yeah, I'm married and shit, but still around. I'm working through career issues, taking a darkroom class, and running a couple of different projects as well.

By agatha on Wednesday, November 13, 2002 - 07:48 pm:

    I remember some of your entries- you sent the photo of the street cart, and the french article, but I can't remember what else you sent. Yeah, the paddington coat. Now I'm giving everything away.

    Congrats on getting married, by the way, even though now you don't play games with me anymore.

    Tell us about your wife, and your career crisis. How's your doggie?

By semillama on Friday, January 7, 2005 - 04:59 pm:

By agatha on Friday, January 7, 2005 - 09:26 pm:

    Ahhhh shit. I'm digging this mother out RIGHT NOW.

By wisper on Friday, January 7, 2005 - 10:43 pm:

    suuuure you are.

By Nate on Friday, January 7, 2005 - 11:52 pm:

    fucking a. i'm rasterbating all over the place.

    jesus christ.

    my printer is out of ink.

    i'm going nuts.

By wisper on Saturday, January 8, 2005 - 01:05 am:

    NATE! you rasterbate too?!
    I loves my lazer printer.
    this pic is going on a blank wall beside our bed:
    He fixes the cable?

By Nate on Saturday, January 8, 2005 - 05:45 am:

    i rasterbated mikey in his duct tape suit and assless pants ( fig.) and hung it in the office.

By agatha on Saturday, January 8, 2005 - 07:23 pm:

    I think we need to see some more pictures from your New Year's Prom, judging from that one.

    Dave is going to a Father Daughter dance with Cleo in February. Hehehehehhehe.

By dave. on Saturday, January 8, 2005 - 10:36 pm:

    here's the thing -- everyone knows how painful that's gonna be for me. not hanging out with cleo but hanging out at a themed dance with a bunch of strangers and cleo. so i do it and agatha and cleo get a bunch of sadistic glee from my discomfort. or i don't do it and i'm a prick.

    hehehehehhehe, indeed.

By agatha on Saturday, January 8, 2005 - 11:18 pm:


    I've certainly paid my dues with annoying child-related events, dontchanow.

By dave. on Sunday, January 9, 2005 - 01:29 am:


    no respect.

By wisper on Sunday, January 9, 2005 - 11:03 pm:

    i went to my first ever yoga class today, and i was in 12 new and different kinds of pain.

By patrick on Monday, January 10, 2005 - 02:34 pm:

By wisper on Monday, January 10, 2005 - 06:14 pm:

By Nate on Monday, January 10, 2005 - 06:40 pm:


    i'm going to rasterbate something huge and have kinko's print it on clear adhesive backed sheets

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