scrotum Is it art?: scrotum

By droopy on Sunday, July 23, 2000 - 06:48 pm:

    last night i am at a place called fishmonger's. it's co-owned by a guy named sonny whom i used to work for many moons ago. every city has places like this - part restaurant/part bar where businessmen and staff from the university and those who now walk on the mild side go to drink. i had gone there to meet up with sonny, but there's only so long any conversation with him can go - after that he's just sort of there.

    so at one point i find myself at a table talking to his wife joan and a friend of hers. their both about 60, casually well-dressed and all that, and both a bit toasted. we started talking about paschal high, the school she went to in the 50's and i went to in the 80's. suddenly her friend says, "oh! i was talking to millie the other day and you know who she ran into at the galleria? bill hamilton!"

    in unison, they squeal: "scrotum!"

    at the tables closest to us heads popped up like alerted prairie dogs. i gave them both my "please explain" look.

    "oh, this is a guy we both knew in high school. we always called him 'scrotum'; i don't know where he got it. i mean, we'd just be in the halls at school and we'd yell 'hey scrotum!'" Again the prairie dogs."we didn't even know what it meant back then. god, i don't even think i know what it means now. i mean, i know which part of the body it's associated with."

    "it's the sack part." i said.

    "sack part?"

    "yeah. um, imagine something like a jewelry bag or any small bag with two golf balls in it - the bag is the scrotum and the golf balls are the testes."

    she she looked off and started giggling as she tried to picture all this.

    "which part is the testicle?"

    "i think it's just the name for the whole package, i don't know."

    "where do you suppose he got the nickname? is it a boy thing?"

    "i remember back in '78 when they gave us our first 'sex education' class, we started trying to work the knew terminology into names. for at least a month after those classes, the 6th grade class was filled 'spermy steves' and 'vagina joes' and stuff like that. it's also possible they just wanted to hear you girls say 'scrotum'. there had to be a time during high school when the sentence 'i really like scrotum' or something like that escaped your lips. or maybe you stopped somebody in the hall one day and said 'hey, i'm looking for scrotum.'"

    they were both in tears laughing.

    just thought i'd share this.

By Jay on Sunday, July 23, 2000 - 08:43 pm:

    there was this guy at my high school and everyone called him Uno because supposedly he only had one testicle. one of them was torn off while trying to hurdle a fence. i don't even know what his real name was. everyone called him Uno. He had this fucked up walk, i guess from the 'accident".
    one night, while very drunk, i was climbing a fence in the rain. below the fence was a handrail and i jumped off the fence and tried to land on the handrail. my foot slipped off and i busted my nuts on the rail from a height of about six feet. i remember laying on the ground in the pouring rain holding my nuts and feeling like i wanted to puke. the shitty part was that i had to jump back over the fence again.
    anyway for a few days afterward one of my nuts was swollen up to double it's size. it caused me to have a fucked up walk of my own and when all my friends found out they started calling me "Tres' nut" as in Uno-Dos-Tres.

By Celia on Monday, July 24, 2000 - 02:17 pm:

    LAFF!!! ouch, Jay.

    When I was eleven I went to summer camp out in the boonies and got assigned to a cabin right next to the guys'. One night right before curfew, the guys in the next cabin decided to show off their martial arts skills in something of the manner of "Street Fighter". All fun and games until Jason accidentally kicked Graham in the nuts during a spinkick. I wasn't there, but we heard his howls from our cabin. Unfortunately, it was curfew by that time and the militant camp counsellors started making their rounds. Graham was on the floor, clutching his balls, sweating and having to bite back the pain. They ended up having to haul him up on the nearest bunk and pretend he was already sleeping. Anyways. I can only imagine at that kind of pain.

By Spider on Monday, July 24, 2000 - 02:53 pm:

    If I haven't already asked this before, may I ask again? What exactly does it feel like to be kicked in the balls? My brother (and he should know) says it feels like shards of glass going into your stomach. Is this accurate?

By droop on Monday, July 24, 2000 - 03:29 pm:

    i can't remember.

By Dougie on Monday, July 24, 2000 - 03:48 pm:

    It knocks the wind out of you, and you usually feel like you're going to barf, and there is a radiating sense of pain around your groin the doubles you over and cripples you for a while -- I don't think it's like shards of glass -- it's more of a blunt force kind of feeling.

By Dougie on Monday, July 24, 2000 - 03:49 pm:

    Why do you want to know, Spider? Planning something particularly nasty?

By droopy on Monday, July 24, 2000 - 04:52 pm:

    she asked me for a story about my parents a while back. i think she's doing research on the male experience.

By Gee on Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 07:54 pm:

    I have a hunch that being knocked betweeen the legs is pretty much the same for men And women.

By semillama on Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 06:42 pm:

    Who can tell? Although the nuts, they're sensitive as all hell to any kind of pressure. I think that getting kicked in the nuts is comparable to having someone poke yuo as hard as they can in the eye.

By Jay on Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 10:35 pm:

    getting kicked in the nuts is a feeling unto it's own. the type of thing where even the pope would swear like a sailor if kicked in the nuts. it's like "ahhhhhhhh gasp gasp HOLY FUCK! gasp gasp"

By Wavy on Monday, July 31, 2000 - 01:02 am:

    I was playing frisbee in the yard today with one of my roommates. My dog wanted to play catch, so she ran up and jumped for the frisbee (while it was still in my hand) and firmly planted one of her paws dead-center in my package in the process.
    She's a mid-sized dog, probably in the 50-lb range - although the contact was brief and not too hard, I still danced around kinda funny for about 5 min.

    It's been quite a while since I got some good solid contact in my groin, but from what I remember, it's a weird kinda pain. A dull ache that's centered deep in the abdominal cavity - just below the beltline. There are sharp points, but the main part is this incredible dull throb that you can't get away from.

By patrick on Monday, July 31, 2000 - 01:39 pm:

    i got some solid groin contact yesterday

By Zephyr on Monday, July 31, 2000 - 02:43 pm:

    Beautiful. Just beautiful.

    It's been a pleasant long while since I've had any.

By Slick Willy on Monday, July 31, 2000 - 04:40 pm:

    Not for me..TEEHEE

By Gee on Wednesday, August 2, 2000 - 12:21 pm:

    someone called me a scrotum yesterday.

    "You're the ugly part." he said.

    "That's the ugly part?" I said.

    "Well...the More ugly part." he said.

    I really think he likes me.

By Dougie on Wednesday, August 2, 2000 - 01:06 pm:

    The ugly part is the "seam" in the middle, or could be the horribly wrinkled skin it gets after swimming in cold water. Hell, the whole thing's hideous.

By Bloomer on Thursday, August 3, 2000 - 08:07 am:

    the "seam" is ugly, the wrinkled skin is hideous????? hmmn dougie, i think you wouldn't like it if some girl said that to you. being one & thinking the above mentioned is wonderful & amazing, considering i don't have them, and sorry to get too graphic on your ass, but that is wonderful too. i wonder if you would feel the same if your girl was licking any of the three i mentioned with her tongue? maybe you would then have a different perception of your own body by then. but i do not know how old you are or how experienced you might be. try it you might like it

By Czarina on Thursday, August 3, 2000 - 10:10 am:

    I have some friends,Jimmy-Sue and Wade,and they had this lab pup they were very proud of,the pup was doing quite well on his retrieving skills,and Jimmy and Wade were always boasting like proud parents about his accomplishments,untill one morning Wade was in the bathroom,having just gotten out of the shower,and performing his morning ablutions,and, well,I guess you could say those retrieving skills kicked in spontaniously,and after that,I don't recall Wade ever having another nice thing to say about the dog.

By J on Monday, August 7, 2000 - 12:10 pm:

    Speaking of Jimmy Sue,remember when he picked up that guy hitch-hiking and stopped by his apt. to pick up something before he took the hiker to his destination.When he went back to his apartment,much later,he had been robbed and the hiker had left a little something in the middle of the living room floor,a big pile of shit.

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