what would you do with one thousand dollars

sorabji.com: Is it art?: what would you do with one thousand dollars

By heather on Monday, July 9, 2001 - 03:32 pm:

    i was digging up stuff at my parents' house for mail art. my sister's writing from early elementary school. i decided to share one now-

    i would spend a thousand dollars.
    I'd go to the store and bye three water melons and I would bye two dimond rings that would be great.
    I'd put some in the bank.
    I'd bye a rabbit's foot I'd like to give some to Jesus.
    I'd go to pluto then go to the store again.
    I'd bye two or three horses five barns sixteen puppies I'd like to give some to my mother.
    I'd have three kittens and twenty cats.
    I would save the rest for school.
    Even though I do have a thousanb dollars and three cent I'm just kidding I have 900 and thirty nine dollars.
    No I don't.

By semillama on Monday, July 9, 2001 - 04:06 pm:

    That's great. It would make a great kid's song.

By Hal on Monday, July 9, 2001 - 06:25 pm:

    Dude if I could only do that for a thousand dollars my life would be complete.

By pez on Monday, July 9, 2001 - 10:23 pm:

    oh man...that would be cool.

    if i had a thousand dollars, i'd pack everything
    in my car and have a long road trip. i'd end up
    living in the city i was in when i realized i had
    only $100 left.

By Nate on Monday, July 9, 2001 - 11:16 pm:


By moonit on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 04:42 am:

    i'd move house - freakin landlord. our bathroom light is sounding scarily electrical - and despite giving him a key and promises to turn up to fix it we have not seen him yet.

    i hate using the bathroom at night.

    stupid dark bathroom

By semillama on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 08:59 am:

    Pay some debt, if I had an extra grand. Good thing I got that $1 an hour raise coming at me, and even better, it's supposed to be retro active back to my three month anniversery, which was a month ago.

By Spider on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 09:20 am:

    If I had a thousand dollars, I'd invest it.


    If I had a thousand dollars, I'd go to Scotland. And adopt me a little red-headed baby boy. And buy some land. And build a house. And get some big dogs and some sheep. And go back to school. And buy a new car. And have a Tudor-style dress tailor-made for me in red velvet and ermine. And and and

By Spider on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 09:43 am:

    On a somewhat-related note:

    When I first started working here, one of my co-workers tried to get me involved in this internet commerce business endeavor enterprise thing-o that i didn't understand at all. Something like you buy stuff and then you sell it to other people and that gets you points and the more points you have the more $ you make. But I didn't understand how points turn into dollars. So the co-worker asked me to go to one of the company's starter meetings. So I went. And all the people talked about was how great it was to be rich. And they handed out tapes to listen to, and all the tapes said was how great it was to be rich. "Don't you want to be rich? I want you to visualize all the things you could do with a little extra money..."

    And I was like, duh. Do we really need to have our ambition validated? Why don't you talk about the important stuff, like how the points turn into dollars? But no one would give me a straight answer. So I said forget it: this is shady. And the people there acted upset with me. Like *that's* not shady. Right.

    So months later, my co-worker claims she's doing so well at this business that she could quit her job here. But she still can't explain how points turn into dollars. Shady shady shady.

By Hal on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 10:13 am:

    She can't turn points into dollars because she really doesn't know. She knows that 1000 points is worth a thousand cookies and a thousand cookies is worth 250 toaster ovens, and that 250 toster ovens is worth 300 shiny buttons, and that 300 shiny buttons is worth 100 new bikes, and 100 new bikes is worth 10 new cars, and 10 new cars is worth 1000 points but she has no idea how 1 point relates to 1 dollar.

By Spider on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 10:18 am:

    She should know. It's her money. She should be nervous.

By TBone on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 10:43 am:

    Well, you know SOMEONE's getting rich off this,
    but it ain't those poor bastards earning points.

    Reminds me of electrolux. They must have drugged
    me or something. I didn't even get any points.

By patrick on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 11:28 am:

    havent you seen that info-mercial where the guy rambles on how botu how great it is to be rich....and it all starts by placing tiny ads in papers all over the country. he never tells you WHAT KIND of ads, or what exactly you are pushing in these ads...just that you are making so much money.

By spunky on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 11:53 am:

    He says "It's not the merchandise that matters, its the ADVERTISING".
    Kinda scary

By heather on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 11:56 am:

    um. spunky.

    he's just lettin' you in on a little secret about most of the crap people buy

By spunky on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 11:58 am:

    i understood that, what I cant figure out is why anyone would call him and pay him money to adverstise what ever? Why pay him money for that little secret?

By heather on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 12:02 pm:






By Czarina on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 12:25 pm:

    Baa Baa

By patrick on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 12:26 pm:

    how do you live with the rest of us heather? you must contemplate suicide on a daily basis.

By heather on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 12:31 pm:

    i have

    i don't now

    i said people are stupid
    i am a people

    you all should know by now not to listen to me when i start yelling

By patrick on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 12:47 pm:

    i dont listen to you so much when you are yelling.

    but i really meant that.

    you know damn well you have a footing in an upper echelon of brains in this world.

By spunky on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 01:31 pm:

    I watch my oldest daughter watching cartoons on TV with this vacant glaze in her eyes, only coming to life when she see's a commercial for some stupid cereal or special shampoo that is "just for kids".....
    and she asks if she can have it...
    Then I look at her and ask "You know what the best thing is on tv?
    I turn it off.

By Oswald Jr. on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 02:01 pm:

    If I had a thousand bucks I would rent an apt near where I live now and I would move my boy friend into it. I would live with my parants for the day and live with Dorian by nite. We realy wanna live togeathr and my folks say no and so do his but he is of the age he can do what ever he please tho if he disobey real bad he could get $$ took away from him and thats no good. But if he lived with me I bet his folks would deal with it. But my folks say I am still to young. I don't realy want to leave my folks but on the othar hand I want live with my man. Dorian and me would be so great as room mates. I would move my friends in my apt and with the money left over from renting the apt I could buy some cool clothes.

By Nate on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 02:13 pm:

    if i had a thousand bucks i'd fly to boston and drive up or down the coast and find a little beach cottage and let everything flow into the atlantic.

By Oswald Jr. on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 02:21 pm:

    And I would buy presents for my folks and for Crimson and Uncle Pug cause they are real cool and sweet and after they get presents then I can buy some porno so I will have stuff to look at in my new apt. And a real goofy cool dog. I think I've speant the whole thousand now. If I got change left over I can get some silver gliter nail polish cause I run out and get a bag of fritoes cause I am out of those too and I got the munchys.

By pez on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 02:26 pm:


    i'll take my vacation and do some traveling.

By Nate on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 02:28 pm:

    so if someone gave you a grand right now you'd bail?

    you didn't say vacation, up there. you said relocation.

By Spider on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 02:30 pm:

    Oswald, Urban Decay puts out some real nice silver glitter nail polish. The glitter is very thick and evenly spread through out. It's kind of expensive ($9) for a bottle, but it's good stuff. Doesn't chip easily, either. A department store near you might have it, or go here. FX or Strip would be the colors you'd want.

By Spider on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 02:33 pm:

    Nate, don't.

By pez on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 02:38 pm:

    well, right now i don't have an extra $1,000. and it's my parent's car anyway.

    but i'll get my bike fixed and make a trailer. it would be a shame to waste that iprc membership, though.

By Nate on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 03:50 pm:

    i don't know what you take me for, miss spider.

By Platypus on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 03:51 pm:

    If I had a thousand dollars, I'd eat it.

By Spider on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 03:55 pm:

    Yes, you do.

By Nate on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 04:34 pm:

    enlighten me.

By spunky on Tuesday, July 10, 2001 - 11:18 pm:

    I would adopt my daughter

By Spider on Wednesday, July 11, 2001 - 08:43 am:

    I'm not accusing you of anything malicious. If anything, you would be motivated by whimsy and a sense of adventure. If you were motivated at all. Which you're probably not. I'll stop now.

By patrick on Wednesday, July 11, 2001 - 11:13 am:

    that sucked.

    i thought you were gonna give it to em!

By Spider on Wednesday, July 11, 2001 - 11:30 am:

    I felt sharp yesterday. Today I feel tired and worn.

By Nate on Wednesday, July 11, 2001 - 01:17 pm:

    it's more the idea of fueling random events than whimsy or adventure. maybe fueling random events is whimsy.

    i don't know.

    it doesn't matter. i've got other plans now.

By wisper on Thursday, July 12, 2001 - 12:55 pm:

    Ossy Jr., go to your local dollar store, they always have boxes of glitter polish.

    i have $1000, and i need it badly, for food and rent.

    if i had an extra $1000, i'd just pay more rent.

    if there was more after that, i'd grab a friend and take a bus somewhere. Get tattoos. Buy a cat and all the fancy-ass cat toys that cats get sick of after a day and never touch. Spoil that puss rotten. Take a homeless kid out for wings. Go to the bank and take it out in cash, all $5 bills, pile it on the living room floor and fuck on it, then spend it giggling.

By spunky on Thursday, July 12, 2001 - 01:13 pm:

    wisper, you have such wonderful dreams

By Gee on Saturday, July 28, 2001 - 10:25 am:

    if I had a thousand dollars I would pay for one - ONE - course at school. because one course costs over $900.

    of course, then I would still be thousands of dollars in debt.

    hey Nate, wanna give me some money?

By Titz on Friday, November 30, 2001 - 11:26 am:

    If I had one thousand dollars I would put it towards a face lift for my boyfriend.

    Hopefully they would lift it so high I would never see him again

By Z on Friday, November 30, 2001 - 11:49 am:

    wisper, you mean you like cats?

    if i had a thousand bucks i would buy as many dobermanns as possible and have a grand cat hunt.

    prizes to the first one to get enough cat pelts to make a dress for wisper.

By semillama on Saturday, December 1, 2001 - 09:33 pm:

    Those who mock cats are included high on
    the list of targets for the grand bowel disrupter
    ray, come X-Day. Just wait.

By Daniel ssss on Saturday, December 8, 2001 - 10:28 am:

    thousand bucks? buy airline tickets for a couple sorabjites, and oh yeah, donate to world peace.

By Czarina on Saturday, December 8, 2001 - 11:00 pm:

    Sem,I'll give ya my thousand dollars,to help on the grand bowel disrupter ray project.

    Lets start at the back of the alphabet,on X-day.

By Josh on Monday, March 21, 2005 - 02:38 am:

    This has got to be the single most jacked up thread i've ever seen.

By Semera on Thursday, May 4, 2006 - 05:35 pm:

    I would use some of the money for me and my family and the rest of the money will go to orphaneges.


The Stalking Post: General goddam chit-chat Every 3 seconds: Sex . Can men and women just be friends? . Dreamland . Insomnia . Are you stoned? . What are you eating? I need advice: Can you help? . Reasons to be cheerful . Days and nights . Words . Are there any news? Wishful thinking: Have you ever... . I wish you were... . Why I oughta... Is it art?: This question seems to come up quite often around here. Weeds: Things that, if erased from our cultural memory forever, would be no great loss Surfwatch: Where did you go on the 'net today? What are you listening to?: Worst music you've ever heard . What song or tune is going through your head right now? . Obscure composers . Obscure Jazz, 1890-1950 . Whatever, whenever General Questions: Do you have any regrets? . Who are you? . Where are you? . What are you doing here? . What have you done? . Why did you do it? . What have you failed to do? . What are you wearing? . What do you want? . How do you do? . What do you want to do today? . Are you stupid? Specific Questions: What is the cruelest thing you ever did? . Have you ever been lonely? . Have you ever gone hungry? . Are you pissed off? . When is the last time you had sex? . What does it look like where you are? . What are you afraid of? . Do you love me? . What is your definition of Heaven? . What is your definition of Hell? Movies: Last movie you saw . Worst movie you ever saw . Best movie you ever saw Reading: Best book you've ever read . Worst book you've ever read . Last book you read Drunken ramblings: uiphgy8 hxbjf.bklf ghw789- bncgjkvhnqwb=8[ . Payphones: Payphone Project BBS

sorabji.com . torturechamber . px.sorabji.com . receipts . contact