Little notebooks Is it art?: Little notebooks

By Spider on Wednesday, August 2, 2006 - 04:00 pm:

    I carry a little notebook in my bag so that I have something in
    which to scrawl phone numbers, directions, grocery lists,
    thoughts to remember, etc. Yesterday I found my first little
    notebook, begun at age 18.

    The beginning of the notebook is not much else but URLs. I was
    first introduced to the internet during my freshman year of
    college, and not having a computer of my own and being unable
    to bookmark any site, I wrote down the URLs of things I liked.
    I'm in the process of going through them to see if they still
    work. (So far, no luck.)

    Actually, the *very* first thing in the notebook is this poem from
    "Twin Peaks" --

    Through the darkness of future past
    The magician longs to see
    One chance out between two worlds
    "Fire walk with me"

    One page says simply: What can you find if you look twice

    Another page reads: What is a man with his mother in a

    And the most mysterious entry of all is this: There is what
    appears to be a fragment of an essay I wrote for a class I took in
    immigrant literature, and at the tail are two paragraphs that
    have no connection to the essay.

    As follows:


    ...To feel like you belong, to have ownership and speak from a
    position of ownership is to imbue your words with a confidence
    and surety and solidity that the displaced do not have, according
    to the texts we've read.

    I don't think you really mean what you're saying, not really. I
    think what's going on with you is that you think you're bad,
    you've convinced that you're a bad person, and you say those
    things because you think you have to. You think you'd be a
    hypocrite if you spoke with reverence. And also you think that it
    would do no good to try to be good or ask for forgiveness or
    whatever, because God won't forgive you. You think God would
    laugh at you if you tried to be good. Or that we would laugh at
    you. So you keep on thinking you're bad and doing things like

    Only you're not bad. And God won't laugh at you. So there's no
    reason to make jokes like this, especially when you don't really
    mean what you're saying anyway; you're just putting on a front.'


    I don't know why I wrote that. I don't know who the "we"
    includes, or whom I was addressing (it feels like I was
    addressing myself, I think only I don't remember being the habit
    of making blasphemous jokes). And why would I write this
    down and at the end of a class assignment? Wheels within

    I also found Mark Thomas' PO Box address, and a page that
    reads, "Found Mark Thomas by finding www.slipnet/~eater on
    'personal web pages' guide that said Evany's page didn't suck."
    Evany is Evany Thomas, who now writes for Television Without
    Pity, but she used to (maybe still does) have a webpage with
    some really funny stories.

By Spider on Wednesday, August 2, 2006 - 04:06 pm:

By ... on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 02:02 am:

By droopy on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 02:41 am:

    very interesting, all of it.

    once found a notebook in which i had recorded all my thoughts from ages 16 to 18. i burned it.

    i never had a baby book.

    my life is so empty.

By moonit on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 05:21 am:

    do you still stand naked on the furniture?

    that is so freakin cute.

By semillama on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 01:16 pm:

    Holy shit. I was born at Walter Reed, too! a little over four years after Mark, but still...

    Small world.

By Spider on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 01:38 pm:

    "Altho he couldn't say anything useful at 16 months, he became
    more adept at pointing..."

    Very nice.

    I found another little notebook. This one is mostly empty, but
    Droopy, your address is on the first page and then in the middle
    is a list of my dead relatives and you and J (with her real name).
    I think I had masses said for you all. This would have been 3-5
    years ago.

    The notebook contains nothing more but the following:




    She is beautiful as the moon, resplendent as the sun, awesome
    as an army in array

    Life of crime -
    - creativity
    - charisma
    - playful
    - outgoing


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