Hi. I'm short, fat AND southern.

sorabji.com: Are you stupid?: Hi. I'm short, fat AND southern.
By Bubba on Tuesday, June 16, 1998 - 11:05 pm:
    Any questions?

By New england on Wednesday, June 17, 1998 - 04:35 pm:
    yeah, i have a question.

    but i cant think of it right now.


By Asia on Thursday, June 18, 1998 - 04:23 pm:
    once, last summer, i brought my sister in law to ny. she had never been anyone in manhattan that wasnt the statue of liberty or the empire state building or anything like that. she was also about 6 or 7 months pregnant at the time. after walking around all day, looking at stuff, showing her places, whatever, we're on the train heading back to new haven, and she looks at me and says 'arent there any pregnant people in ny??'. i dont know why i thought of that just now, but it struck me as being pretty funny at the time. being of the wide-ass variety myself, i knew just how she felt. and i'm FROM there. sheesh.

By Asia on Thursday, June 18, 1998 - 04:28 pm:
    and i just thought of something else from that trip. i brought her to dean&deluca and balducci's because she was REALLY into cooking. so, as we're standing there, admiring all of the lovely cuts of beef, she turns to me, in all seriousness, and says 'how do people in ny cook meat?' after i figured out that she was totally serious, i was like 'um...with flame?'. she says 'but there's nowhere to barbacue!!'.

    crazy connecticut people!

By Asia on Thursday, June 18, 1998 - 04:40 pm:
    oh, and on topic, im NOT stupid, but i think that i used to be. few weeks ago, i was driving home from a friends house and drove past these four chicks, who were just STANDING on the corner, dressed completely in black, which is fine by me, since it's typically my color (or non color) of choice. but they were wearing ROBES and shit. then, i noticed that they had their faced painted to be all goth and shit. they were MAYBE 12 years old. maybe. but that simply reminded me of me standing on the corner of 82nd street and 12th avenue, yelling out to passing cars and making a total ass of myself. talk about a need for attention. whew.

    so, all things considered, i dont think im stupid anymore, but i think i WAS stupid when i lived in ny. and, following that train of thought, the farther away from ny i go, the less stupid i become. it's pretty neat.

By Sister syrup on Thursday, June 18, 1998 - 09:16 pm:
    i wish everyone was equipped with such
    a simple antidote to stupidity.

By Bubba on Thursday, June 18, 1998 - 11:54 pm:
    I used to be pretty stupid myself. Well a hell of a lot MORE stupid than I am now. Course thinking back mabe it was more ignorance than stupidity, but for the longest I was just plain stupid.

    I thought that if I came up nawth I'd either end up robbed, mugged, or come home in a pine box. Friends, neighbors and family sometimes would talk about going up there, and how thankful they were that they made it back home in one piece. Even my own brother said he came up one time and NEVER wanted to go back.

    I thought that was the way it was.
    But I was stupid.

    I met a friend. An awsome friend that changed my life.
    A friend from up north, the big city. Knew all about it.
    I tried my best to convince them how bad it was compared to down here, and the longer we talked the more I started to wonder if what I'd been hearing all my life was really true.

    So one day they invited me up for a visit. And I went.
    Never been anywhere big really other than Atlanta, Dallas, Chattanooga, Birimgham, Mobile, Miami, places like that, and felt like I had been through the *city experience* and wouldn't be such a big deal. But it was nothing like what I was about to experience.

    Everything was ok, zipping along the road, them driving like HELL but somehow managing not to ever hit anything, was like being INSIDE a video game, was actually pretty kewl. Everything was going great - until we got out of the car smack in the middle of china town.
    There were a MILLION people. People EVERYWHERE. Moving, walking, running, and if you looked up and down there was nothing other than even more people and HUGE buildings. I had no idea where I was, there were no landmarks I could recognize, I didn't have a compass, couldn't see the sun, and worse of all they hadn't let me bring my survival kit and thus was totally unarmed. It hit me, if I get lost, I'm dead meat.

    All of a sudden I got scared. Scared AND stupid. What a combination.
    I mean I'm a pretty big good ole southern fella, do an excellent job of kicking ass when absolutely necessary, and never really had many problems, but for the first 15 minutes on the street in NYC all I could do was watch my back and try to keep my eyes on my friend.

    But they were there for me. Told me everything was fine. Didn't let me freak. Kept me out of trouble just long enough, that I could open my mind as well as my eyes and begin to take in what had overwhelmed me at first. Within a half hour I was totally amazed.

    Yes there were millions of people, but if I started looking at the wonderous variety instead of the sheer masses, filtering the amount of input that was overwhelming my brain, I began to realize that though I was in the midst of a sea of people it was still a sea of individuals.
    People are people regardless of where you live, where you come from, how you talk, and how stupid you are.
    Some even smiled at me. I was like DAMN.

    It was a WONDERFUL experience. An adventure I'm sure to repeat many a time in my life.
    All because someone took a little time, to make a friend.

    I'm still short, fat and southern, just not quite as stupid as I used to be..

    To that damn yankee that helped me see the light:
    Thank you for looking beyond whats on the outside,
    And finding good on the inside.

    Your forever friend.

By Asia on Friday, June 19, 1998 - 10:19 am:
    it wasnt simple. it was deceptively complex.

By Kelsey on Friday, June 19, 1998 - 06:21 pm:
    i'm from connecticut. just thought i would share. i don't think i'm stupid, but i sure do have flashes of stupidity every single day of my life.

By -oDDBALL oDD- on Monday, July 13, 1998 - 07:05 am:
    Next Saturday, July 18th, I will turn 39.

    When I was in my mid-twenties I was genuinely stupid. Dangerously stupid. Not a BAD person.
    Just a plain-ol', garden variety dummass.


By Cher on Monday, July 13, 1998 - 03:27 pm:
    You sound really sexy. Can I have your baby?

By Rich Young on Tuesday, August 4, 1998 - 06:24 pm:
    Help me I am unable to find my way out of this box. I musta been sleepwalking. this is where I woke up at. could anybody out there draw me a map?

By Cher in Cheyenne on Friday, September 18, 1998 - 01:06 pm:

    When I asked if I could have your baby back in July I was doing a lot of qualudes but I'm off them now and I don't want to carry your baby anymore. I hope you didn't make any plans or anything like that.

By Mrs. Forrest on Monday, October 11, 1999 - 05:45 pm:

    Stupid is as stupid does a box of chocolates. Or something.

By Rhiannon on Monday, October 11, 1999 - 06:28 pm:

    Forrest Gump was named after Nathan Bedford Forrest, a wicked man if there ever was one, but a really fascinating man, too. What a temper! Did you know...one night, when he was planning some battle strategy or other, he was pacing back in forth in his tent, lost in thought. An adjutant or some other aide kept pestering him with questions, and finally Forrest just hauled off and punched the guy, knocking him unconscious. He continued pacing in his tent, stepping over the aide's body each time he came to it. Cold.

    But, on the other hand, he adored his wife. Marianne, her name was. He proposed to her the day he met her, and when he died, his last spoken words were her name.

By Nate on Monday, October 11, 1999 - 06:46 pm:

    words? did he say "marianne marianne" ?

    sometimes, when people don't call me nate, they call me nathan.

By Fetidbeaver on Tuesday, October 12, 1999 - 12:10 am:

    sometimes they call me asshole.......

By J on Tuesday, October 12, 1999 - 10:23 am:

    At least they call you....

By Rhiannon on Tuesday, October 12, 1999 - 11:25 am:

    I checked my facts -- wrong on two accounts. First, her name was Mary Ann, not Marianne. Second, Forrest's last words were "Call my wife."

    Sorry about that.

By Agatha on Tuesday, October 12, 1999 - 11:59 am:

    close enough, rhiannon.

By Gee on Wednesday, October 13, 1999 - 12:38 am:

    No! You were wrong! Now you must be beaten! It's the only way you'll ever learn! That's a lot of exclamation points!!

By Homer on Thursday, January 13, 2000 - 04:04 pm:

    I am so smart!
    I am so smart!
    I mean

By J on Friday, January 14, 2000 - 09:08 am:

    I,m so glad....I,m so glad....I,m glad,I,m glad,I,m glad.

By Gee on Saturday, January 15, 2000 - 02:40 am:

    I used to date a boy named Homer. I had a cat named Homer. and I'm reading the Odyssey (booooring).

By Markus on Saturday, January 15, 2000 - 04:30 pm:

    You're reading the wrong translation. Get Richmond Lattimore. I also have Robert Fagles' translation in my library and sometime read both in parallel. But mostly I'll open up Lattimore and reread, say, the part where he comes home and clears out the suitors. It's better than any "action" movie coming out of Hollywood.

    The Odyssey is a classic because it fits two tests: well told, and it conveys universal insight into what used to be called the "human condition". Underneath the fantastic monsters and wild geography there are the whole range of epic human emotions: love, fear, hate, jealousy, suspicion, revenge, brotherhood, hope, greed, lust. I find it to be still relevant to my life.

    One of my Russian professors little jokes about the murky origin of the Illiad and Odyssey was: "Was the Odyssey written by Homer or someone else with the same name?" Not slap yourself funny, but in the context of this eccentric little man, it could be droll. Those wacky academic inside jokers.

By Gee on Sunday, January 16, 2000 - 05:48 am:

    I am reading Lattimore's translation. he's translating most of the stuff we're reading, and I think he does a pretty good job of it.

    some of the Odyssey is okay....every now and then it gets exciting for a moment (I think I've come to book 13 or 14). Odysseus just lost a bunch of his men to whatsername with all those heads and arms - that part was neat. But mostly it bores me because of the constant repetition (I understand why it's there) and the droning quality. it's similer to the bible. It feels like one long drawn-out sentance.

    My teacher seems to really like it too. I get the feeling the more you read it the better it gets, but I'll be happy to get through it just once.

    If you want to give me some insight on the poem, Markus, I'd be happy to see it. We have a test coming up and I'm pretty sure it's going to be mainly on the Odyssey.

    I wish we would get back to Euripides.

By Biff on Saturday, January 6, 2001 - 11:26 pm:

    i,m a fat motherfucker too! but i can push a car uphill really fast

By Gekko on Thursday, August 29, 2002 - 12:44 am:

    I bet you drive a really small car.

By V on Tuesday, June 7, 2005 - 06:37 pm:

    Whoops,I just got on the "fat bastard" thread by accident.


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