my toe!!! MY TOE! Are you stupid?: my toe!!! MY TOE!

By wisper on Saturday, December 21, 2002 - 11:05 pm:

    i broke my toe.
    did i tell you?

    it was so stupid. The first thing i've ever broken and it's not the big one either. It's the middle toe, one of the pathetic little filler toes.

    i always thought that breaking a bone would hurt more than that. I expected screaming crying buring pain. But it just felt badly stubbed. I hopped around and wimpered a little, but then got over it. The next day it still felt stubbed when i flexed it, and much to my surprise it had turned purple and lumpy.


    and i wondered if i should go to the doctor.
    A room mate said: "Don't bother going to the doctor, they can't do anything for broken toes."
    Mom said: "you're not going to go to a doctor, are you? They'll just tell you to tape it up. Don't waste your time."
    So i got some first aid tape and bound Lumpy to the index toe. Mummy toes!

    Two days later i started feeling weird about it. Part of me is broken and i'm not talking to a doctor??? It's purple and lumpy! I'm going to the doctor.
    I call a doctor's office across the street. They can't get X-rays on the weekend. I should try the ER.
    I drive to the ER. I feel bad to go for such a nothing reason. Boo hoo, my toe. I pack food because i expect to be in the waiting room for most of the day. I get to the hospital....
    10 bucks for parking? TEN BUCKS?! fuck that. I can wait another day.

    The next day i decide to buck up and pay the 10 bucks. Not for me, for poor Lumpy. I have the most refreshing talk with the nurse at the desk.
    "I think i broke my toe."
    "your TOE."
    "3 days ago"
    ".....have you tried a clinic?"
    "i did. they sent me here. No x-rays."
    "well...I'd love to help you, but it'll be at least 3 hours for just a toe. Probably longer"
    "i know that."
    "and frankly, if you've waited 3 days, i think you can wait another and go to a doctor on Monday."
    "you're right. Thanks"
    And so i didn't have to pay any parking at all.

    Then i drove to the office. X-ray or not, this thing is broken and SOMEBODY is going to look at it, or i won't be able to sleep. With my luck they'll have to re-break it and something will go horribly wrong, just because everyone told me not to go. It will be all mom and my room mate's fault. The clinic is only a half hour wait.
    The doctor comes in:
    "what's the problem?"
    "i think i broke my toe."
    "which one?"
    "...the purple one."

    she squeezes it. I yelp.

    "whether it's broken or just bruised, tape it to the toe beside it."

    *long pause*

    "that's IT?"
    "you don't have to set the bone or anything?"
    "no. There's nothing we can do for broken toes."
    "should i...put ice on it?"
    "oh, i think it's a little late for that."
    "should i....tape it....tight?"
    "not too tight. Have a nice day."
    "wait! how long will it take??"
    "four to six weeks. Thanks for coming in. Bye"

    5 minutes, baby. Waitta' prove my loved ones wrong, doc!

    Anyway, it's kinda sore. But not so purple.

By Nate on Saturday, December 21, 2002 - 11:52 pm:


By patrick on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 11:50 am:

    way to go Canadian healthcare!

    you should have at least gotten a fucking lollipop.

    you still havent told us HOW you broke it. Feel free to embelish.

By Platypus on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 12:15 pm:

    that's how american health care is, too. i stopped going to the doctor after i broke my toe the second time because i knew what they were going to say...

    but i think i might have broken my wrist last night. it's very swollen and i can't move it, and it hurts, and it makes a funny noise. it kind of feels as though someone is repeatedly stabbing me with a fork.

    oh well, i can't afford to get something done about it, so hopefully it's just sprained.

By patrick on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 12:32 pm:

    not my healthcare.

By Platypus on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 12:35 pm:

    have you broken a toe lately?

By patrick on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 12:50 pm:

    no. but if i was told that jive upon breaking a toe id be all over my doctor and his superiors for better service than that.

    i pay so i expect.

By Antigone on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 05:22 pm:

    My healthcare, right or wrong!

By Platypus on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 06:15 pm:

    That really is the only thing you can do for a broken toe, though. Tape the little sucker and hope it doesn't heal crooked.

    I got fingerprinted today, it was really exciting. Now they have a machine that scans them, so you don't even get black goo all over your hands. It's great. My wrist still hurts, though.

By patrick on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 06:25 pm:

    when nico nearly severed the tip of her finger off, fracturing the bone they did more than set it with popsicle sticks and send her home.

    she went to an orthopedic surgeon who reattached the nasty chunk of flesh that wanted to come off. set her up in a finger cast that ended up going all the way to her elbow so it healed properly. she was near-helpless for a week or two until she could remove most of the bandages. made us realize how potentially vulnerable you are without a hand.

    in otherwords....theres got to be more than that in dealing with a broken toe properly.

    Generally speaking, healthcare likes to try and take the easy way out, but bark loud and even lie and they'll respond like they should.

By Antigone on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 07:01 pm:

    "made us realize how potentially vulnerable you are without a hand."

    Exactly. That was a finger. This is a toe. Fingers is more important, Buford.

    Go break your toe and find out what happens. Bet it'll be the same, even in America.

By Platypus on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 07:03 pm:

    severed fingers are different...and more serious. according my assorted doctor friends, there really is nothing you can do other than splint/bandage the toe. That's what they did for my fingers, too. Sometimes there's just a limit...

    I too, find the being firm with healthcare gets results, but only to a certain point--if there's nothing more to be done, it's pointless to try.

By Antigone on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 07:03 pm:

By patrick on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 07:15 pm:


    there's all kinds of info there to implicate more than tape and popscicle stick treatment.

    a lot more than what wisper got, thats for sure.

By Nate on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 07:48 pm:

    damn fools don't know what duct tape is for.

    troublin a doctor with such as a broken toe. should be ashamed.

    ambulances ain't taxies, either, folks.

By patrick on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 07:53 pm:

    gaffer tape hoss.

    much more 'stayin power' than duct tape

By Nate on Monday, December 30, 2002 - 08:05 pm:

    you hang around the entertainment industry too much.

    everyone knows environmental heating and cooling technicians make better lovers than gaffers.

By patrick on Tuesday, December 31, 2002 - 11:16 am:

    i know no gaffer. worked with one a few times.

    that tape is a photographers best friend.

    you try and get duct tape off your studio floor.

    my brother is an hvac technician.

By Nate on Tuesday, December 31, 2002 - 12:33 pm:

    so you already know the part about better lovers?

By patrick on Tuesday, December 31, 2002 - 12:48 pm:

    no, i was just trying to make you feel know, provide some sorta of association as if i know what you are talking about.

By The Watcher on Tuesday, December 31, 2002 - 12:52 pm:

    I broke my toe on christmas morning a few years ago.

    That was fun.

    They didn't even tape it. Just gave me crutches, the special shoe, and told me to stay off of it for a couple of weeks.

    Working in this huge Government office complex was a killer. It took a week before I could get one of the carts they have for injured and disabled employees. The person in charge of then was on leave at the time.

By wisper on Wednesday, January 1, 2003 - 04:46 pm:

    my toe is almost better!
    calm down, patty boy. It's just a clean break of a damn little filler toe. They can't do anything. I think it's hillarious. They can do open heart surgery on a fetus but for a toe, duct tape will do just fine ;) Sure if it was blue and cold, or shooting out at a 45 angle, or my big toe, i'd be all about x-rays. But the look that the ER nurse gave me said it all- what the fuck was i doing there? Ask your doctor if you want.

    Our health care is the best in the world because they don't have to coddle my spoiled white ass, and i dig that.

By J on Thursday, January 2, 2003 - 02:38 am:

    I can just now look at S's foot,at least you have toes,his missing didgit would have been the bird toe but it's gone,so it's inverted.

By Czarina on Friday, January 3, 2003 - 08:37 am:

    Well,maybe its for the best hon. What, with all the road rage these days, he probably would have just got himself shot, flipping people off with his feet, while driving.

    Sometimes, God works in mysterious ways.

By wisper on Friday, January 3, 2003 - 07:19 pm:

    fessing up time!
    I broke my toe during a sordid episode of lovemaking. To all those who said that it was impossible to do a 3 way within a FedEx shipping container en route to Spain, I say "HAH!"

    no i don't.

    i broke it because of chocolate.

    i had just got myself a fresh box of Turtles, sweet of sweets, which i got for $2 off regular price after calling Nestle (but that's another story). Delicious as they are, I ran down the stairs to my room to get some, singing a little song about how good Turtles are and how happy i was to have some. I was still going full speed, and i didn't notice that portfolio case #4 had slid from it's place against a wall and into the path to said yummy treats, so i ran/kicked right into the side seam of it with my bare foot. It didn't seem like that much of a blow, but it slowed my sprint for the chocolate...momentarily.

    The moral of the story is-
    Turtles are damn good.

    it was all worth it. The consoling gaze of this beautiful man is all i needed.
    He is so fucking sexy.

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