not drunk anymore, so sad, but drunken tales from last night. Drunken Ramblings: not drunk anymore, so sad, but drunken tales from last night.

By pez atchoo on Friday, July 12, 2002 - 03:28 am:

    so yesterday was the microshow 40 bands 1 minute sets $3. and pepto dismal played on the street for longer than a minute, and i was the monkey, and it was good.

    after we finished, i hung out and danced, didn't talk, since no-one was supposed to know it was me. found a friendly little stuffed gorilla in the house, posed for pictures and played foursquare. people thought i was drunk but i wasn't, not yet, i just couldn't see. it was hot and so i rode back to the clown house to change on a sweet lowrider bike.

    came back and played more foursquare, gulping mouthfuls of beer from other's bottles. damian was asking the rev. phil about who the monkey was and only got the mysetious "the person is closer than you think" for an answer. silly silly. friends passing out on the grass, leaving to go draw.

    i have a box of matches in my pocket. it is fun to light them and watch them burn.

    the clowns and me left and we hung out on the porch for a long time with pbr. sarah who was hanging out too got mad because she wanted to smoke some dope but her husband didn't bring the pipe. so they left.

    me and dingo and the rev went out to wreck some shit and make some crimes but only dingo and me had lights on our bikes and the cops (regular critical mass cops) pulled us over twice. so we went to a party and there was a trampoline. and drunken antics and a trapeeze and a kissing booth. and a cake.

    it was this dudes birthday, his 18th, and he was drunk off his ass. he was running a ten cent kissing booth and i didn't want to kiss him but he wanted my bandana. he kissed me on the cheek with a mouthful of bread, and it scraped. ew.

    the guy damian from before handed me a 40 and i tried to chug but the beer went up my nose and i spit it all over this cute guys legs. he was wearing 70s style athletic shorts and was constantly getting pants and is a bit of a gymnast and loves the trapeze. and my friend cassandra is a gymnast too, she was hanging from the trapeze upside down and got pulled off and dropped on the sidewalk by accident but she was ok.

    after awhile most of us left to go to the park. it was 1:30 in the am, and we stripped and jumped in the fountain which wasn't working because it was nighttime. the water was warm and we got soaked from splashing and dunkings. at the other end of the park is a pool, most everybody else went and climbed the fence but by the time i got around only cassandra was left and she wanted to leave because her leg hurt and so i decided to go home and sleep which was a very good idea because i had to work a full nine hours today which is never a whole lot of fun because my feet hurt.

    but i had a two hour meeting which means i only spent SIX HOURS on my feet and so i feel much better than usual afterwork, thank goodness. and now it is 12:30 in the am and i must sleep, it is a big daytomorrow with this symposium kickoff thing and so sleepytime is excellent.

By patrick on Friday, July 12, 2002 - 12:10 pm:

    this is what i wanted all that time you were stuck at home and your parents were locking you in your room and BBQing your pets.

By Czarina on Sunday, July 14, 2002 - 02:14 am:

    I've never had a friend who had a trapeze.

    Where do you get them?

    It doesn't seem like a good thing to accidentally get pulled/dropped off of the trapeze onto the sidewalk.

By patrick on Monday, July 15, 2002 - 11:33 am:

    i built mine.

By Jester-Jon on Tuesday, October 15, 2002 - 11:58 am:

    To be sure of how i got here, would be lieing. I'm not quite positive that the fact i AM here is pheasible (sp? -dunce-). Reading over the melodramtic post directed at getting old, and well, being old.. Haven't read any further, but i like your views. Numbers are just that; numbers. Suggestions at how you SHOULD act in society, but no more than figmants.. hm..

    I'll read updated stuff too, i suppose. I'm just to lazy at the moment, and my time run shorts.
    Take it easy.

By Jester-jon on Tuesday, October 15, 2002 - 12:00 pm:

    As i said..dunce.. my bad-was directed at crimons and i'm supposeing she no longer post here? I'm clueless..ah well. Ha!

By Jenna QT Kay on Tuesday, December 30, 2003 - 11:40 pm:

    ok so this one time i was just like sooo drunk. thats how it all started, being drunk that is..... so me and tauss and the german pop star decided that maybe, just maybe, we should go to arapahoe lakes for a swim in the middle of winter.

    when we were swimming in a-lakes, we saw will grassland. he was with a monkey at a circus and his monkey did a strip show and asked for weed in return for the show. so i decided to strip for him too.

    then my brother came because it was really weird because it was the first time i had seen my 6 year old brother drunk. so i got mad and i pushed him in the lake. i forgot he couldnt swim, so he nearly drowned, until mr. grassland saved him in charly's canoe. and in return for mr. grassland's help my brother puked on his new christmas pants.

    then later that night, we ran into an old friend/not, named jopy. jopy was a jolly kid and he was just like soo cool because he makes up words such as deet, steez check, and jock me hard! so then he picked us up in his hot red aka pink jetta and we proceeded to jet out of the parking lot.

    me being very very drunk was sitting on the top of the car because there was no room in the car because the german pop star and jay tauss the elephante were taking up all the room. it was mighty chilly up there but its ok because jopy was holding my hand so my legs wouldnt get cold. and that wasnt helping very much so he gave me his louis vuitton jeans and dooney and bourke purse. that way the jeans could keep my arms warm and the purse could keep my head warm.

    after we jetted in the jetta for a while, people started to give me new weird looks, but thats ok because i was too sloshed to notice. then we went to target because its my favorite store and jopy bought me a look alike tiffany necklace and i was very appreciative so i kissed him on the lips. only he was chewing taco bell and lets just say the bell and kissing dont mix.

    so later this kid named connor decided to get naked and stick a spoon in his ass. i would have liked to pretend he was drunk but fortunately he wasnt so later i whipped him with my moms 80s whip. dominatrix baby! i thoroughly enjoy spanking everyone especially if they are girls named ali or sean!!!

    so then we were at this slammin partay and a certain bi-polar bear named garratte (with an accent on the e, as in karate with a g) said do the dirrty aka muddy with me. i would have but fortunately elizabeths future husband, markus dylla, was thrusting his pelvis into my foot, and frankly that was more appealing.

    in the midst of all the thrusting, a little boy named mason dropped by. and i was so happy to find him because i had been searching for mason all my life. and mason and i had an in depth conversation about cargo pants. mason didnt even realize that one doesn't just wear cargo pants with stilletos and cute purses i mean like people in the mid-west actually wear cargo pants because they need lots of pockets. i mean farmers do just need tons of pockets thus the brilliant idea of cargo pants...after i realized how stupid Mason was becuase he thought the only use of cargo pants were to be cute i left him all alone to sit and think about what he had said and i went and downed 5 more doubleshots with the ice cream makers....oh how i love Jerry (aka jordan) garcia so. but after a while we got bored of them and then luckily old saint cisneros drove me away and i could barely even think.

    But later the alcohol had finally worn off so we decided that i greatly need some snow...aka cocaine...luckily my bff david aragon had some in his necklace...his intentions were cruel all over again...anyway...after jay tauss the HUGE elephante took like all of it because hes so stupid/fat and he had like 10 lines i only had 2 but it still worked like a dishwasher as in i got naked and telepathically tried to send myself to the great of home of the taussigs. unfortunately the telepather sent me to sydney snyders basement instead and i shot myself...and that was the end of my evening.

By jack on Wednesday, December 31, 2003 - 12:59 am:

    keep up the good work.

By Jenna qt kay on Sunday, January 4, 2004 - 03:57 pm:

    ok in our story that we wrote before we said that we went to sydney snyders basement and shot ourself. well that never happened obviously and since we cant take sydneys name off the story, we wanted to apologize for saying that.

By Jack on Tuesday, January 6, 2004 - 02:51 pm:

    To Jenna qt Kay...why the hell did you apologize that was funny....keep up the good work

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