Chandler Arizona 1p.m.and bored as hell What does it look like where you are?: Chandler Arizona 1p.m.and bored as hell

By J on Thursday, May 13, 1999 - 04:45 pm:

    Woke up with a hangover to begin with listened to John and Stephie in the morning,I,m trying to win a thousand dollars but couldn,t get through the phones.Have only read half the paper, it,s beautiful out,the birds are singing,there is not a cloud in the sky.It,s been a late summer coming this year but it,s here now and I hate it!It,s going to be 99 today,and I,m just miserable already and it will just get hotter and hotter,till the end of October.If anyone here has been to Costa Rica please tell me what you thought about it,I,ve been checking it out on the web and I,m getting The Tico Times and it sounds all good to me.I love Arizona,I just can,t stand the heat,but it beats the hell out of West Virginia where I was born.I miss that place like a sore asshole.

By Nate on Thursday, May 13, 1999 - 04:53 pm:

    costa rica is like arizona only humid and the birds are more colorfull.

    if you do anything outside of the air conditioning in costa rica, you'll have the wring out your underwear half way through.

By J on Thursday, May 13, 1999 - 10:11 pm:

    Have you been there or know anyone who has?I know it,s hot on the coast,but I thought it got cooler inland.I also want to get away from all the crime out here.I,ve seen you live in California but I don,t know what part, but I can see why some people want to seperate the state.I,m fucking sick of all the wet backs who snuck over the border and first thing they do is get a gun and start stealing.I moved from Phoenix to Chandler to get away from it,but you can,t.March 15th somebody stole my car right out of my drive-way.When the cops found it after 3 weeks,all 4 tires were gone,all the stuff in trunk(my expensive bowling ball&cheap shoes etc.)Too make matters worse,after I got my car back I remembered that I had left my birth certificate in the glove compartment(had gone to Rocky Point Mexico 2 weeks before car was stolen).You can probably tell by now that I,m not lucky and yes it was gone.Not wanting some creep to steal my identity I had to call the Chandler police dept. and have them add that in my report.Had to hook up with West Virginia Dept. of Vital Statistics,Arizona dept.of transportation and a credit report place.Adding to my parinoia 2 days ago I hear my dog barking I go out to the living room and there,s a man staring in the window on my door.I opened it and he asked if Valerie was here ?I said no,he said "is Heather here?"I said no,he asked if the Millers lived here.I said no.He tells me my house looks just like theirs and leaves.He was holding a small gift bag.After he left I thoght1:he didn,t bother to ring the doorbell by my gate.2:you have to open that gate to get to the front door,the way my house is laid out my front door is in my backyard.3:I,m the only one in the neighborhood that has a door like that. I paid more than I should have for it 2 years ago and I,m sure if he really was looking for the Millers they wouldn,t have had a door like that.Any way Costa Rica doesn,t let just anyone move there you have to have a certain income to live there.God!I do go on I told you I was bored.

By Cyst on Friday, May 14, 1999 - 08:45 am:

    if you don't like "wetbacks," don't go to costa rica. try idaho.

By Nate on Friday, May 14, 1999 - 10:51 am:

    j, i'll be honest. i didn't finish reading your post.

    hispanics in california include some of the hardest working, lowest paid, most honorable people i know. california is one of the top 10 economies in the world because of them.

    you can take your racist bullshit and shove it up your ass.

By Sol R. on Friday, May 14, 1999 - 12:42 pm:

    Nate, I hear there are several former Soviet republics that feature both a cool climate and a resurgence in racism/xenophobia. Good luck/riddance.

By Sol R. on Friday, May 14, 1999 - 12:44 pm:

    Sorry Nate. That was meant for J.

By J on Friday, May 14, 1999 - 01:15 pm:

    I,m not racist and have nothing against hispanics that are here by birth or proper channels.Thats one of the things I hated about West Virginia that K.K.K,redneck thinking.But if you look at some of the headlines where I live when twice in on week cops are ambushed,set up and shot and killed,when 500 hundred storm the border and it gets scarey.I have nothing against the hard working ones,they are too busy working,it,s the ones that don,t want to work the gangs and they aren,t solely hispanics.If I was racist I guess I would,t enjoy going to Mexico and wanting to check out Costa Rica.I also save clothes and toys for my neighbor who gives them to a church in Nogalous.When I go to Mexico,if I go to Costa Rica,I,ll remember I,m a guest in the country and go by their laws.I,m not even going to stoop to your level,I just hope for your up coming operation they use a much larger tube.

By Agatha on Friday, May 14, 1999 - 01:47 pm:

    go away, please.

By Pancho Villa on Friday, May 14, 1999 - 02:53 pm:

    Select members of the populace of Arizona would like to point out that J's views do not neccessarily reflect the views and opinions of the greater Phoenix metropolitan area (including, unfortunately, Chandler)and are solely J's own. Any resemblance to an open mind on his part is purely coincidental. In fact I'm sure that some of J's best friends are "wetbacks". :)

    And that tube thing is waaaay out of line.

By J on Friday, May 14, 1999 - 03:29 pm:

    I have many hispanic friends,my best friend is a gay hispanic male but he is not an "illegal"His parents went through the paperwork and he was born here making him an "American".so are his parents.I find it ironic that in Chandler the residents of a large hispanic community complained to the police to do something about the "illegals" and when the police did a crack down in the neighborhood,the same people that asked for help turned around and sued the police because they were asked to show their green cards.I think people should worry more about following the 10 Commandents than being so "politically correct"if they did ,the former would take care of the latter.

By Pancho on Friday, May 14, 1999 - 04:31 pm:

    I love the bits in the 10 Commandments about calling people wetbacks and wishing larger tubes up the asses of other people. You are SO devout. Golly I admire your dewy-eyed faith...

    Stop making AZ look bad and shut up.

By J on Tuesday, May 18, 1999 - 10:06 am:

    I was just going to blow you off but the more I thought about it decided to tell you what I think about you.Devout?Dewey-eyed faith?I meant by the 10 commandents.don,t steal,don,t kill,etc.Karma,what goes around comes around,it,s a pretty universal concept,you sanctimonious son of a bitch.Wishing for a larger tube seems to have hit a"sore"spot.Well jackass.your so smart,put your wishes in one hand and shit in the other,and see what fills up faster.I could wish for a larger tube up your ass,but I,m not putting it up there,though at this point I sure as hell wouldn,t pass up the chance to do it.So you constipated bastard,you hypocrite,you who wished for me to put "bullshit"up my ass before I mentioned a larger tube up yours,I "wish when they get that tube up your ass when they are done with you it will be in such shape that it would be like throwing hot-dogs down a hallway.Oh,even better,mistakes in hospitals happen all the time,I hope they castrate you,ending your "thinking"days all together you cretin.Oh,have fun today and make sure you drink a lot of wine before you check in,you,ll need lots of liquids,you fucking "joto".I who greatly admire that fine latina, Lorena Bobbitt will be drinking lots of cervesa and doing alot of "wishing".Thinking of you,

By Cyst on Tuesday, May 18, 1999 - 10:24 am:

    "Any way Costa Rica doesn,t let just anyone move there you have to have a certain income to live there.God!I do go on I told you I was bored."

    j. go to costa rica. go to the cantinas. have a cerveza with the locals, tell them what you think about central american immigrants to the u.s. and the fine latinas. then come back and tell us your story. I can't wait to hear it.

    and don't forget not to take the lord's name in vain, bible boy.

By Gee on Thursday, May 20, 1999 - 04:22 am:

    "Throwing hot dogs down a hallway" ?

    Where's the dignity?

By Nate on Thursday, May 20, 1999 - 11:01 am:

    i thought it was kind of funny.

    i actually bought a package on the way home from work just to see what it would be like

    to throw hotdogs down a hallway.

    i think i need a longer hallway.

    i threw a couple down the stairs, too. that was a little more fun.

    then (after a few bong loads) we all started throwing hot dogs at the cat. this was the best.

    even the cat enjoyed it.

    and she wasn't even stoned.

    though the bird was. the consequences of having a highly efficient respirtory system.

    spelling is not my strong suit.

    when the bird is high, he sings more.

    he is a big fan of funk. and hip hop. it gives him a better basis to freak out over.

    'maggotbrain' is one of his favorites. he jams like a maniac.

    he is a maniac.

    that's why he is my bird friend.

By Semillama on Thursday, May 20, 1999 - 11:58 am:

    I really would love to see a bird jam with maggot brain. i really would. How awesome is that?

    Hey J, love thy neighbor as you love yourself, right? It shouldn't matter if your neighbor has official permission to be here or not, so lay off the wetback shit. Besides, people have migrated back and forth for untold millenia across that line on the map, why should they change their habits after a couple hundred years?

    and btw, karma isn't like something that comes back to you, it's more like chaos theory, as i understand it.

By Swine on Thursday, May 20, 1999 - 12:10 pm:

    <<'maggotbrain' is one of his favorites. he jams like a maniac.

    he is a maniac.

    that's why he is my bird friend.>>

    me too.

    is this kaya?

    chip off the ol' block.

By Nate on Thursday, May 20, 1999 - 12:46 pm:

    it is kaya. he's quite a bird.

    one of my most consistant stoner buddy.

    fucker somehow never pitches for a sack, though.

    i keep intending to mic his cage one of these days. he lives in my studio, so it would not be difficult.

    then i can throw it down to mp3 and everyone can enjoy his improv.

By Rhiannon on Thursday, May 20, 1999 - 03:25 pm:

    when I was in 7th grade, we saw this film on animals of the Serengeti, and there was this bird whose song was so melodious it sounded like a composer whistling up a new symphony. Is your bird like this, Nate?

By Nate on Thursday, May 20, 1999 - 04:30 pm:

    Kaya is a Plumheaded Parakeet, from the mountains of Nepal.

    I would call his song more akin to avant-garde jazz sax than classical symphony.

    i'll get him to lay down some tracks. i'll see if i can do that tonight.

By J on Thursday, May 20, 1999 - 04:33 pm:

    Now I know why when I sobered up,I had this HUGE pile of shit in one hand.

By R.C. on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 12:07 am:

    Only in NORTHER Cali do people get their parakeets stoned!

    'The nexus' my ass! Better hope it's not giving the poor thing brain damage.

    (Does he get the munchies afterwards?)

By Swine on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 12:48 am:

    that's my god-bird you're talking about.

    watch your tongue, young missy.

By Margret on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 03:05 am:

    My little brother used to try to grow Chiba in the basement when mom lived in CT.

    One semester break I came home from school in Ohio, drove 11 straight hours after being up 48 straight hours (finals) because there was a blizzard and my car was trying to die on me and I thought if I stopped or tried to turn around I would spend the rest of my life or the rest of my money (neither of which was unacceptable) trying to escape the seemingly infinite state (time/space continuum, whatever) of Pennsylvania where, mottos be damned, I had no friends.

    So I got home maybe 11:00 a.m. and mom's at work and little bro's sleeping it off and I go downstairs to the basement to sleep. All 8 million (6?) cats follow me down there and arrange themselves around the corpse. I awaken one hour later to screaming and, yes, weeping (ok, really just screaming). Seems the cats are not allowed downstairs (who knew)? Seems cats really like little tiny tender hand-nurtured cannabis plants. Seems 30 little plants died untimely cat-related deaths. Uh-oh. My punishment was that my little brother would not let me go back to sleep. Would. Not. I promised him money. I said he could drive my car (woohoo, chevette, don't know why he didn't go for it). Threats, cajolery, flattery, trickery, nothing worked. Then mom came home and the laughter started. I got to go to bed at around 11:00 p.m. that night. It wasn't a bird, but it's not only in California.

By R.C. on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 04:25 am:

    But how did the cats react to the chiba? From the way most cats act/you can't tell if they're high or not.

By Nate on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 10:55 am:

    yes, kaya gets the munchies.

    i don't intentially get him stoned. i would never blow hits in his direction.

    but what the hell am i going to do when the only clean air in the room is the first three inches off the carpet?

By R.C. on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 02:54 pm:

    He's caged, right? Can't you put him out on the porch while you do yr dubes?

    Then again/maybe he enjoys the buzz.

By Nate on Friday, May 21, 1999 - 03:50 pm:

    i'm pretty sure he enjoys it.

    his cage is chained from the ceiling, and not easy to move.

    i'm not going to deprive him of anything. i figure he's in heaven. we had a long, stoner discussion about this one night. god has put him somewhere where he will be fed, watered and stoned regularly. and then god took away anything that would make him ever want anything more.

By Wench on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 11:14 pm:

    Coming from someone who lives in the heart of the emerald triangle, I find this highly amusing. It's harvest season right now. The air reeks. No one actually smokes in my house, but my birds are acting like they're stoned too...

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