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of wasps in my apartment. i couldn't imagine how
they'd gotten in; i hadn't noticed any nests
around nor had i been keeping the doors open for
long periods of time.
today (sunday) i decided to do some cleaning. i
opened my front and back door to air the place
out. the next time i looked at my front door, i
noticed all the wasps. there were 5 or 6 of them
on the door and a couple flying in and out of the
room. i looked up at the overhang over my front
door, and saw it: a big-ass paper wasp nest the
size of half a grapefruit.
years ago, i had a real wasp problem. i would roll
out my back door in the morning to find a find a
nest, like a flower fashioned out of a paper bag,
attached to the door. but i hadn't seen them for a
now, apparently, an entire family had hatched and
lived on my front door.
i don't have wasp spray handy. but i have vinegar,
good old white vinegar. i have solved both my ant
and roach problems with it, why not wasps? i
filled a squeeze bottle with all the vinegar i
had. then i had to top it off with pickle juice so
i had enough squeeze pressure for distance. (i'm
low to the ground).
i had closed the door. i opened it just a crack
and the wasps were still there, all over the upper
right hand part of the door. i gave them a shot,
like a cumshot from hell, and closed the door. ten
minutes later i opened it again; they were gone,
except for one. i gave him a dowse. then i gave a
squirt to the nest.
when i thought it was safe enough, i went out and
knocked the nest down. it took a couple of tries;
it was really on there. you have to give props to
these insects that can make those things with
nothing but regurgitated wood.
after all that is over with, i go into downtown. i
like to by a bottle of wine and a sandwich, find a
place to sit and eat. lately i've been going to a
spot between a bank building and a parking garage.
i'm not sure where it comes from, but it has a
rotten garbage smell to it. i parked myself at
the one wrought-iron table - the chairs tied to
it with a cable so it won't be stolen, - and had
my sandwich and wine.
i was reading a book of philip k. dick short
stories i had gotten from the library. this one,
"martians come in clouds", is about insect
martians, called "buggies" by "terrans", who come
to earth in swarms.
as i'm reading, someone walks past me. then i
noticed she (it was a young woman) had stopped and
was crouched on the sidewalk a few feet away from
me. she was taking a picture of a bug on the
sidewalk. when she was finished and gone, i went
over to check out the bug. it was a big one, i can
see why she would want to take a picture of it. i
remembered that i had my ipad on me, so i took a
few pictures, too.
i recognized the species, but i had never seen one
this big. it was a giant leaf-footed bug.
before. from a distance, it looked like a
leaffooted bug. but on closer inspection, i
noticed it had a round, toothed back (pronotum.)
turns out it was a wheel bug. turns out they can
give a nasty bite, so i'm glad i was too chicken
to pick it up.
while researching this bug, i found a website
called YellowCatArt. someone there had made a
metal sculpture of a wheel bug out of "exhaust
pipe, regular steel pipe, a pulley thing and a
small gear. The legs are rolled steel and the
wings are barn tin. The big wheel on his back is a
broken gear from an old Daisy Churn that I found
out in the pasture."
i want one.