Waking up.

sorabji.com: What does it look like where you are?: Waking up.

By heather on Friday, October 15, 2010 - 05:13 pm:

    When you wake up in the morning and out of nowhere comes the heartache of alienation and loneliness, could you use that as a golden opportunity? Rather than persecuting yourself or feeling that something terribly wrong is happening, right there in the moment of sadness and longing, could you relax and touch the limitless space of the human heart?

    Pema Chodron

By Daniel on Friday, October 15, 2010 - 06:18 pm:

    we read the same books.

    yesterday I had a melt down at the office and became very angry with two staff, later called my boss, with whom I had earlier in the day discussed the potential problem that in fact came to be...after writing up the incident, I left the client's chart, and my bruised ego in the form angry "this is the way this went down, and this is what so and so did and said, and this is how the client was affected, and ---and I told you this was going to happen if you (my boss) would not step in..."

    it all boils down to one staff (not me) corralling clients and signing them up for their individual work with this staff person...while I have the priority with new clients...and while my appointments are not being booked because of the manipulative and agressive manner of this other staff member.

    the golden opportunity was and is to make amends for my anger--though I was not abusive just angry--however justified it may be. And to see it is just that if I don't have clients, well, simply I don't get paid.

    So in effect, what could have been a beneficial coming together of disparate people, became an angry confrontation of desperate egos.

    I just don't have temper tantrums. But I am an old drunk who second guessed his every move and motive, because of twenty three years of an AA program that has kept him from drinking and turned everything toward taking personal responsibility for any part i might have played.

    So, when the feds announce this morning they are printing more paper money and the dollar is falling apart; when the anxiety and remorse automatically come with the morning dawn; when there is knowledge that so much is terribly wrong in this world, and in my little corner of it; tempers flare, or at least mine does.

    Sometimes I sense my human heart is cold, hard, and immoveable, but then I recall that is who I used to be and not who I am today. Somedays.

By patrick on Saturday, October 16, 2010 - 01:20 am:

    heather, stop posting about my life.


By heather on Saturday, October 16, 2010 - 01:32 am:

    I wasn't posting about yours or mine.

By Dr Pepper on Saturday, October 16, 2010 - 12:21 pm:

    Daniel, there is some similar problem with mine, just got tired of a guy who constantly nagging me about keeping the warehouse being kept clean. Obvisously, he being selfishy on me accusing me of neleglect his workplace, in which it is not true.
    I am considering on leaving the job. He is way over his head.

By Daniel on Sunday, October 17, 2010 - 12:17 pm:

    I would consider shooting all who disagree with you, Pepper, but i know you are a pacifist, so that wouldn't work either. How about arranging an accident with a fork lift or something? I was thinking that electrocuting my coworker might be a cute way out.

    I think I need a beach and by Friday morning, I will have the antidote to most of my problems...sand between my toes for ten days.

By Dr Pepper on Sunday, October 17, 2010 - 03:02 pm:

    Daniel, you think I am a pacifist? naw, but I did almost got hit by a forklift whose driver wore stupid sunglasses. Did reported a incident to a supervisor.

By Daniel on Sunday, October 17, 2010 - 03:33 pm:

    drive the machine into your co worker hence forking him there on the wall. I'm a pacifist and just got a new 357 magnum to carry...

By Daniel on Sunday, October 17, 2010 - 03:36 pm:

    even pacifist must arm and protect themselves during the coming conservative christian onslaught in November...

By moonit on Monday, October 18, 2010 - 12:04 am:

    You know sometimes I think Andrew only wants to go to the states so he can shoot a gun.

By moonit on Monday, October 18, 2010 - 12:05 am:

    ugh by that I mean a handgun not a hunting rifle.

By patrick on Monday, October 18, 2010 - 11:01 am:

    hunting rifles are sexier fyi

By sarah on Monday, October 18, 2010 - 01:29 pm:

    It is necessary to leave the impersonal highway, to step inside the rusty gate and close it behind. One is now inside the orange grove, out of the world and in the mysterious heart of another. After long years of spiritual homelessness, of nostalgia, here is the mystic loveliness of childhood again. Here is home.

    Marjorie Rawlings

By heather on Monday, October 18, 2010 - 09:36 pm:



By Dr Pepper on Tuesday, October 19, 2010 - 02:50 am:

    moonit, I take that, Handgun are illegal in New Zeland? I am curious.


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