Low Fat Chinchilla Chili


sorabji.com: Have you ever gone hungry?: Low Fat Chinchilla Chili
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By Nate on Tuesday, February 9, 1999 - 01:17 pm:

    Low Fat Chinchilla Chili


    2 medium Chinchillas, skinned, cleaned and cut into 8 pieces*
    2 large Onions, chopped
    8 cloves Garlic, minced
    1 medium Sweet Red Pepper, chopped
    1 medium Green Pepper, chopped
    1 Cup Celery, chopped
    2 Cans Tomatoes, diced - with liquid (14 oz cans)
    1 Can Kidney Beans, drained and rinced (16 oz can)
    1 Can Tomato Paste (6 oz can)
    Cup Water
    2 tsp Sugar, brown
    1 tsp Oregano, dried
    1 tsp Chili powder
    tsp Red pepper flakes, dried
    tsp Cayenne pepper
    Hot Pepper Sauce to taste


    In a Dutch oven, brown chinchilla and onions until chinchilla is no longer pink; drain.
    Remove chinchilla meat from bones, return to pot. Stir in the garlic, peppers and celery. Cook for 5 minutes. Add remaining ingredients; bring to a boil. reduce heat; cover and simmer for 45 minutes.

    Makes about 2 1/2 quarts.


By Sheila on Tuesday, February 9, 1999 - 01:30 pm:

    if no chinchilla available, substitute any small rodent.

    ewok? gerbil?

    or just use oatmeal. be sure to roast it well done.


By Delicious on Tuesday, February 9, 1999 - 01:53 pm:

    Opossum

    If possible, trap 'possum and feed it on mild and cereals for 10 days before killing. Clean, but do not skin. Treat as for pig by immersing she unskinned animal in water just below the boiling point. Test frequently by plucking the hair. When it slips our readily, remove the opossum from the water and scrape. While scraping, repeatedly, pour cool water over the surface of the animal. Remove small red glands in the small of back and under each foreleg between the shoulder and rib. Parboil for 1 hour. Roast as you would pork and serve with turnip greens.

    This is what my great-uncle Newton has to say about 'possum:

    "I'll tell you the exact day I stopped eatin' 'possum. Now, back during the depression that's what we ate back in Mississippi; we didn't have nothin' else 'sides squirrell and 'coons.

    Well, there was one summer when ole Charlie's horse died, so he drug it out into the woods and left it there. What the hell're you gonna do, bury it? Well a week or so later we were out huntin' and boy, I never saw so many possums. We were pickin' 'em off left and right. Wouldn't go two or 3 yards and there'd be another one up in a tree.

    Couldn't understand where they were all comin' from, then suddenly damn! there it was. We came to the little clearing where Charlie had left his horse. All dead and rotted out. There must've been 6 or 7 seven 'possums in it, eatin' it. I mean they'd eatin' out the stomach, the head, one was comin' out of its mouth. Eatin' out of the eyeholes. Looked like big, furry maggots, the lot of 'em. Never touched 'possum again."

    Always remembered that story, not only because it's pretty nasty but also because it reminds me of that scene from _The Tin Drum_


By Chordata on Wednesday, February 10, 1999 - 03:49 am:

    last semester, there was an individual on the outskirts of my social group. mainly, my interaction with him was limited to loud drunken fests, during which he would spout some homophobic bullshit and vomit on the beach and pass out. let's call him "terry."

    inevitably, people who get to know me fairly well will learn of my strange sheep hobby. i love sheep so much. i have photographs everywhere and i own many lovely little children's picture books. i feel similarly about goats and squirrels. well, terry loved to grab my tush and make some comment about fucking farm animals or some other stupid as shit contortion of my completely sweet and innocent interests which i'd heard a million times before. it was a regular occurance; however, terry would do something strange after his teasing. he would suddenly look at me, very seriously, and say, "there is absolutely nothing wrong with sex with animals."

    i didn't think much of it at the time, because terry was just a weirdo to begin with. he had three inches surgically added to the end of his penis. the ironic part is that the new end cannot become erect and just hangs floppy off the end of a stiff base. but i digress.

    so one night, my friends seth and mike were driving with terry back to the riverhouse when they hit a deer along the dark and windy road. mike's karma was seriously threatened by the whole occasion, so they decided to take the body with them back to the house so they could eat the deer meat instead of just wasting its life. after dragging the body inside, terry volunteers to do the gory work will seth and mike go elsewhere. well, mike came back from his errand to find terry fornicating with the dead deer on the living room floor.

    is there a moral here? you decide.

    this really doesn't have anything to do with the topic, but the roadkill scenario just reminded me of it.


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