I did my sister and then mailed the video tape to my grandparents.

sorabji.com: What is the cruelest thing you ever did?: I did my sister and then mailed the video tape to my grandparents.
By Nate on Monday, April 20, 1998 - 08:51 pm:
    Well, I didn't really do that, but I'm providing the forum for those of you who need to confess (you know who you are.)


    When I was 18-20 I was the BBS king. I think I pulled my cruelest pranks during this time. The media was so conduscive to manipulation, my little repressed mind had a field day.

    So there was this guy we (being my small group of modem buddies,) really hated. I don't remember exactly why hated him. I do remember that he was a little "pigment deprived." We called him "Whitey."

    Whitey ran a BBS of his own. He was socially inept (we all were back then.) He was hard up, 20 years old, perverted and virgin. Logging into his BBS involved answering a slough of questions, including, if you said you were female, "What's your bra size? (Haha, J/K. Don't answer unless you want to.)" And if you were female, he'd break into chat with you the moment you logged in. Every time.

    He liked 'em. Them females.

    Being the noble man that I was, I felt I had to defend the honor of the three girls who frequented the BBSes of our area (All of which I was secretly having sex with, which was cruel in its own right, but that's another story.) Since they all complained about Whitey, I decided to enact the nate rage.

    ooo, frightening. I know.

    I invented this entire persona. I became a 16 year old girl. I logged into his BBS. I answered the questions (skipped the bra one, though.) I became "Daisy".

    And he broke right into chat. So we chatted. I told him about my life. My love for parrots (I told him I owned a Norwegian Blue. He said it sounded Beautiful. He was rather ignorant.) He helped me with my amiga (I didn't have an amiga, but he loved 'em, so I invented some problems for him to talk me through.) I told him about how shitty it is to have huge breasts. I told him about my gay brother. I told him about my oppressive father. We talked weight lifting (because, you know, I was really into it. I could press 220.) I told him about how I was clean shaved because I hate body hair.

    We talked about him. He told me about his family. About his life. About his wants and fears and secrets. He told me about his peanutbutter fetish (disturbs me to this day.) He told me about how he always wanted to have sex in a cowboy hat and boots (he saw it in some movies or something.) He told me about how he'd play with his mom's tampons. He was weird.

    Then I told him I wanted to take our relationship to the next level. He was estatic. He couldn't wait. So I told him about my brother's ranch house, about 40 minutes from where he was. I told him how much it would get me off to watch my brother fuck him. He said no. I pleaded. He finally agreed to have sex with my brother so long as nothing went in his asshole. I said fine.

    I gave him directions to my brother's ranch house. I gave him a time. He said he'd be there.

    The directions actually led to a dead end in the hick town of healdsburg. Whitey heads out and of course doesn't find the ranch house. He asks people on the street who probably thought he was insane. He is. He asked the police to help him. They said there was no such place.

    Whitey gets home at 4am. We were supposed to meet at 10pm. He logs on, pissed off. The first thing he sees is a message from Daisy. "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU??! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FUCKING STOOD ME UP!!" He writes a very nice apology e-mail.

    But before Daisy can read it he breaks into chat. She calls him a retard. She bad mouths him for not being able to follow directions. He blathers and apologizes for being an idiot. He makes her promise to give him another chance. She agrees (reluctantly.) He asks her to call him on the phone to give the directions.

    So I call on the aid of this female friend of mine who was just as evil as I was. She agrees to help out, and calls him with the directions. Right after she gives the directions (slightly different, but essentially the same,) she says "Oh shit... my dad's coming I gotta go!" He tries to keep her on the phone, but we had really played up how cockesque her dad was so she just hung up on him.

    Now he knows these directions are real, because a real female voice gave them to him. So he heads back to healdsburg the next weekend. Same story, different weekend. When he gets back he finds another pissed off e-mail from Daisy, but he doesn't buy it anymore. He breaks into chat when she logs in and chews her out. She chews him out back for awhile, but eventually apologizes. Makes up some excuse about it being her first time, and after she'd lied to him about the sex she'd had before she was afraid she wouldn't perform correctly. He said it was ok. That he'd be gentle. yadda yadda yadda.

    At this point Daisy is discovered by her Dad. He finds out about the sex talk on the computer and takes her modem away. She sneaks out one more message to explain, but says that she wouldn't be online much in the future.

    Then, finals week at the local JC. Big exam for Whitey on friday. 8am. Pre-calculus. He's already failed it once.

    Friend of mine has been bad mouthing me in conversations with Whitey for about 3 weeks now. Whitey loves him because I am Whitey's nemisis. Friend of mine calls up:

    "I met this girl who said she knows you. She said she used to modem with the name 'Daisy'" says my friend.

    "Yeah, she's cool." says Whitey.

    "And she's fucking fine! Goddamn!" says my friend.

    So now Whitey knows she's real. There's no doubt about it. And my friend goes on:

    "She knows these bi chicks in san francisco. They're having a party thursday night, just the two of them, Daisy and me. You're invited too. When Daisy heard I knew you she begged me to bring you. She said something about the directions to this place being easy to follow."

    So now Whitey's excited. But my friend's car is busted so he's riding a motorcycle to the city, so Whitey will have to find his own way. So he does.

    Even though he has a final the next morning.

    Even though he's deathly afraid of bridges (and there's a big orange one between us and the city.)

    After that Daisy disappeared. I wrote a little book about it, incorporating the capture files of the actual chats. Embarassing, pouring-his-guts crap about peanutbutter and tampons. About 30 pages of book. Nicely formatted in Pagemaker. Printed. Photocopied.. Mailed.

    We called it "The White Life".

    It had a picture of my crotch on the cover. I don't know why.

    And actually, while it was cruel, the only thing I regret is that the whole thing was tainted by my biggoted, unenlightened attitude of the time.

By Pete on Monday, April 20, 1998 - 10:12 pm:
    So tell us about this peanutbutter fetish of his....

By Cartman on Tuesday, April 21, 1998 - 01:08 am:
    Goddammit! I wanted to hear about you fucking your sister on tape!

By Nate on Tuesday, April 21, 1998 - 11:30 am:
    He just really liked the idea of sticky peanutbutter being smeared on body parts and then painstakingly removed with a tongue. I think this is one of the fetishes developed by the inexperienced -- the logistics of the activity really just seem like they'd be more uncomfortable than anything else. I think a libido could be better served in other fashions.

    Who knows, though... I'm probably a prude.

    Oh, I forgot to mention. He slept through the final the next day and failed pre-calc again. He didn't register for the next semester and now works at a small computer game store in the Northgate mall in Marin County.

    That actually makes me feel good. Some people just don't belong in college.

By Sarah on Tuesday, April 21, 1998 - 04:39 pm:
    did you try to get the book published?
    it's likely that you could, given a
    different front cover image.

By Nate on Tuesday, April 21, 1998 - 09:29 pm:
    I thought about it at the time. It would need a lot of polish, I think.

    I should see if I can find it. I know that page 11 of the last hard copy I had blew out a car window. The pagemaker file should be kicking around somewhere, though.

By Christopher on Wednesday, April 22, 1998 - 12:39 am:
    I'm going to go over the bridge and buy a Playstation game from him. The guy deserves the commision on it, don't you think?

By Nate on Wednesday, April 22, 1998 - 03:27 pm:
    Electronics Boutique, Northgate mall. I'm actually only assuming he still works there.

    Ask for Brian, tell him you're a friend of Daisy's. Maybe he'll give you his employee discount.

By Wisper on Thursday, April 23, 1998 - 09:03 pm:
    this is the most inspiering story I have heard in a long while, please, please, send me a copy of that book if you ever find it. I beg you. I'll pay for everything, the copies, postage, EVERYTHING! Even 1 page. I need to see this! Hell, get Mark to give you a new topic section for it.......!!!

By Jeffrey Katzenberg on Thursday, April 23, 1998 - 09:14 pm:
    Disney would like to option your story for a possible animated feature. We're trying to find a vehicle for the voice talents of Bob Newhart and Fran Drescher and we feel your work may be suitable. Please have your people contact our people.

By HeebieJeebiez on Friday, April 24, 1998 - 06:11 am:
    This is a true story right? Do you think you could just give the first name of this guy? (besides what you 'called' him) This all sounds strangely familiar. The guy, his looks, his attitude, where he lives, and all. If it's just some coincidence, now I'm really scared. There's actually more than one of them out there. heh. Gracias.

By Nate on Friday, April 24, 1998 - 12:04 pm:
    His name is Brian. If you think you know him you should e-mail me. We can trade details until we're sure.

    If you don't know him then you should tell me. I'll need to buy more bullets.

By CarrieAnn (aka HeebieJeebiez) on Sunday, April 26, 1998 - 06:39 am:
    Damn! Sorry, no match. This guy's name was Doug. Sounded a bit too familiar and eerie. Although after posting, I thought that it probably wasn't the same guy since this sounds like it happened awhile back and Doug is only like 20 or 21 now. Scary scary guy. Long story.. not going to go there tonight. Heh.

By The_Razor on Monday, May 18, 1998 - 10:17 pm:
    This is one of the great stories of the BBS era.
    I'm proud to have read it. :)

By MandeZ on Friday, June 12, 1998 - 12:57 am:
    Very neet. Your genius astounds me, nate.

By Harrier on Monday, May 3, 1999 - 03:29 pm:

    Hahaha Oh the memories that brings back! We had a guy just like that here in SLC. Any female that logged onto this particular bbs was subject to his "knightlike" babble and come-ons. It wasn't his bbs. "Hello fair lady, why art thou here on this fine evening".. oh.. I used to double over just to see his babble cross my screen. So we set out to teach him to leave the girls alone.

    He lived by where we worked, so we'd have him meet different girls at a nearby restaurant daily. The girls would never show but day after day we got photos of him sitting there, alone, waiting, for hours.

    He fell for it for almost a month. We never had the same girl do it twice. Then we took it to the next step. A girl, my second account there (ssssh dont tell) was setup just for this. I would invite him into my 'private' forum to talk. All my friends would be in there to begin with and remain hidden, - since one of us was a sysop he just made it impossible for the guy to see the others in there. I would make up random fetishes and got down right nasty. He would tell me what he was doing to himself while i talked. Ugh.

    So I asked him what he would do to get with me... I started with the whole "have sex with another man while i watch thing" and then got worse till it involved some pretty messed up stuff like plastic wrap and ... well other stuff.

    He agreed to it all. So I told him to go to the grocery store next to his house wearing nothing but a long jacket. That I would be there with a short skirt, a halter top, and no undies, waiting in the frozen food section.

    Lo and behold there he was just a few minutes later. I was laughing so hard I couldnt take the picture so my friend took it and ran like hell.

    He still didnt get the hint. So this went on forever till I actually felt an ounce of guilt. What if this guy had more severe mental issues that I was aware of? What if... this and that... so I stopped. But from what I hear it continues still. The guys will call him and fake womens voices, talk dirty to him and record them into avi's. They are posted ON THE BBS, but he still does it.. I dont know.. maybe the jokes on us somehow..

By Gee on Sunday, May 9, 1999 - 07:09 pm:

    I'm already so unpopular, and look, I'm becoming more unpopular by saying this: what a rotten freaking thing to do to another person.

    I don't think deceaving someone (for whatever reason) is at all funny, nor do I think it's fun to take advantage of someones desperation. These people may be stupid for trusting someone they don't know, and they may be "perverted", but that doesn't give anyone the right to use them and make fun of them.

    I don't really Know any of you people (though I have seen you around...), but my opinion of many of you has dipped considerably.

    Just because you have a chance to hurt someone, doesn't mean you should Take that chance. God damn, you should be ashamed of yourself.

By Agatha on Monday, May 10, 1999 - 12:20 am:

    what do you mean, you're already unpopular? i like you okay.

    i think all of these stories suck, too. people can be cruel.

By R.C. on Monday, May 10, 1999 - 02:32 am:

    NATORIOUS! I'm shocked!

    Such a bad boy you were!

    I avoided this page for some time/figuring from the title that it was more of the usual silly crap. Then lo & behold/I stumble over here to find the light of my life revealing his dastardly doings on the web! Heavens to murgatroyd!

    You've got such a sweet face.... (If that really is yr face over at PJ's site.)

    But I truly cannot condemn you for what you did to Whitey. You were just a kid back then. And some people just scream out to be duped.

    [But if you also used set fires & torture small animals/please don't confess those things here!]

By Swine on Monday, May 10, 1999 - 05:55 am:

    death to the wack.

By Nate on Monday, May 10, 1999 - 11:14 am:

    i grew up ugly and was shunned for that. being able to use my mind for revenge was all i had.

    i'm not proud of what i did.

    i don't regret it either.

By R.C. on Monday, May 10, 1999 - 01:39 pm:

    You were an ugly kid? Impossible! Then again/I was pretty awful-looking during my pre-pube years. So I know what that's like.

    Well/thank god the hormones kicked in. At the rate you're going, Nate-ums/by the time you're 30/you'll be able tostart charging people for gazing at yr gorgeous mug every time you leave the house.

By Nate on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 11:57 am:

    i was an ugly child.

    i still am ugly. i have a confession.

    i'm a 72 year old professor of english lit at cal poly. i invented the 'nate' character to test some thoughts i had about cyber communities and interactions. chordata, interested in the psychological implications of my project, assisted me. the picture that you've all seen is one of my students (and my lover, as strange as that may sound.)

    i apologize to anyone who's life might have been harmed in this experiment. However, i don't expect this should change anything. How important is honest perception in this media? who will ever know? what difference does it make when words are words, ideas are ideas and life does not exist in corpreal spaces?

By Nope on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 12:39 pm:

    hee hee

By Anal annie on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 02:44 pm:

    Say it aint so.
    Say it aint so.
    I guess a weekend of playing hide the salami is out of the question

By R.C. on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 04:00 pm:

    Ignore him. S'just the dope kicking in.

    Nate's a fox -- trust me. He just gets all shy & squirmy becuz he's basically a very down-to- earth dude & these uncontrolled outsbursts of female lust towards his personage make him uncomfortable. I keep telling myself I'll stop. And I'm a good girl for a couple of days. But then he creeps into my dreams again & I wake up w/the sheets all twisted & smoke coming off my skin... (Scares my poor cat something awful.) I hardly ever remember my dreams/so it's very unsettling to be having erotic fantasies abt somebody I've never even met. (But no more weird than dreaming abt Denzel...)

    Okay, Nate. I'll stop hitting on you & focus my attentions on The Divine Swine. (However/I still
    intend to keep yr picture as my screensaver.)

    But you still have to watch out for Corey the Love Bandit.

By Swine on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 04:12 pm:

    i was an ugly child.

    i still am ugly. i have a confession.

    i'm a 72 year old professor of proctology at NYU. i invented the 'swine' character to test some thoughts i had about cyber communities and anal interactions. nate, interested in the gastronomical implications of my project (and in search of a cure for his spleen problems), assisted me. the picture that you've all seen is one of my students (and my lover, as strange as that may sound.)

    i apologize to anyone who's life might have been harmed in this experiment. However, i don't expect this should change anything. How important is honest perception in this media? who will ever know? what difference does it make when words are words, ideas are ideas and life does not exist in corpreal spaces?

By Cory the Love pirate on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 06:33 pm:

    I am fully prepared to orally copulate with Nate every day for eternity, if that is what it takes to win his love.

By R.C. on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 08:14 pm:


    Well Nate/looks like you're goodtago!

    (And I know all it takes is a good pitcher of Margaritas to bring Prof. Swine into compliance.... Oh baby -- hit w/me yr rhythm stick!)

By R.C. on Tuesday, May 11, 1999 - 08:18 pm:


    What was that thud?

    Nate? Nate! Wake up, man!

    Hey Cory -- looks like Natorious has fainted at the thought of daily blow jobs for the rest of his life (& all the money he'llsave on plying girls w/booze). You'd better administer some mouth-to-... er, whatever you think will best revive him. You know he's got a bad slpeen.

By Nate on Wednesday, May 12, 1999 - 02:48 pm:


    i ply girls with marijuana.

By Swine on Wednesday, May 12, 1999 - 03:58 pm:


    you told me you use a crowbar.

By Nate on Wednesday, May 12, 1999 - 04:46 pm:

    you must have misunderstood. "The Crowbar" is my dick's nickname.

By Semillama on Wednesday, May 12, 1999 - 05:17 pm:

    I expect Cory the love pirate here at any moment...

By R.C. on Wednesday, May 12, 1999 - 06:39 pm:

    Nate's Crowbar.... nononononono. I won't say it. I will not lust after Nate on the boards. I will not entice nor embarass his Nateness no more.

    But you're making this VERY difficult for me, Natorious.

By Swine on Wednesday, May 12, 1999 - 07:29 pm:

    don't be fooled by his feigning discomfort, r.c.

    he loves that shit.

    you are the water that makes his boat float.

By BLAKESNAKE on Tuesday, April 11, 2000 - 03:48 am:

    If anyone did this they are one sick puppy and need to be shot.

By Squiggle on Friday, April 14, 2000 - 01:49 am:

    uhhh, Blake....I don't think that this page is being used much mate!!

By Nate on Friday, April 14, 2000 - 10:41 am:

    sure it is, we're just writing between the lines of previous posts.

    it all applies.

    try it.

    it's good.

By Squiggle on Friday, April 14, 2000 - 04:45 pm:

    you know what else is good....
    purple zebras. or at least i think they're good. they are a good source of calcium, and handy to have around the house when you need a paperweight.

By I dont think so on Wednesday, July 26, 2000 - 02:13 pm:

    I'm dissapointed, I was hoping to see something about someone doing thier sister....

By Willy Nilly on Wednesday, July 26, 2000 - 02:55 pm:

    And I got told to fuck off because the worst thing I've ever done was stick some masking tape on my cat's front paws.

    People are really hard to figure.

By Kalli on Wednesday, July 26, 2000 - 03:58 pm:

    I think I just peed my pants.



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