|THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).|
It took place on a Sunday morning. I was 16 years old and already the Clergy were talking about me becoming a Father someday (Not in the get down, make love and have a kid kind of way) I had just finished a box of rasin bran before the church car-pool pulled up to my house to pick Grandma and me up.
Grandma was 123 years old no not really she just smelled like it. She was 76 or somthing and she was kind of def so you had to yell into her good ear. Anyway Grandma and I got into the Volvo and Father Bob drove. We stoped to pick up Crissy who was in the same homeroom as me.
She was kind of cute and sat in the back with Grandma. I remember it was cold outside because Crissy's sweater was really perkey if you catch my drift. Grandma was sayin' "Turn the heat up!"
Damn that Volvo had a killer heater cause it must have been 98F in that car but it was never warm enough for Grandma. Sure the temperature may have went down to 90F when we opened the door to let Crissy in but Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick Grandma didn't have to say "Turn the God damn heat up!" It caused a funny silence in the car to hear an old lady swear like a logger in the company of Father Bob. My stomach got all tite and queezy. We were about 2 miles from the church when I couldn't hold it in any longer. It was like earth shattering loud...Oh my god I thought what have I done? first Grandma cussing now this. I had to save face in front of Crissy so I exclamed "Geezus! Father Bob crack a windo if you are gunna cut-the cheese!" I don't think Grandma heard it but she sure did roll down her window fast, in spite of the cold outside. We were all gasping for fresh air by the time we reached the church.
I'm may go to hell for telling the church about how Father Bob made a pungent green loud cloud on the way to church that morning but at least Crissy thought I was cool.
next time you should try trapping it in a jar, and selling it over the internet.