The Snuggle Fabric Softener Bear What are you afraid of?: The Snuggle Fabric Softener Bear

By Lucy Phurre on Friday, December 11, 1998 - 03:54 pm:

    I just always thought he was creepy.
    It's that soft, icky-sweet voice that really sounds like it's gotta be psychotic. and the unnatural way it moves. Like Chucky with fur.
    I keep expecting it to show up with an icepick or a chainsaw and say "Hi. I'm the Snuggle bear. And I'm going to kill you"


By Agatha on Friday, December 11, 1998 - 11:31 pm:

    he scares me, too. his eyes are vacant, yet maniacal.

By MoonUnit on Sunday, December 13, 1998 - 08:50 pm:

    ooo I've seen that ad here in New Zealand and he freaks me out big time...

By Me........... on Tuesday, December 15, 1998 - 02:12 pm:

    Maniacal giggling........insane eyeballs........
    Ah, Shit! That's me............I'm scared of the bear, too.............

By Markus on Thursday, February 25, 1999 - 12:16 pm:

    I love that new (well, to me, as I don't see much TV) commercial for Nintendo 64, is it? I've only caught it twice, and both times almost wet myself laughing maniacally as that damned bear got mauled.

By Sheila on Thursday, February 25, 1999 - 01:05 pm:

    nothing is as foul as the DoughBoy. it is my mission (well, one of them) to destroy the DoughBoy, and all who consort with him.

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Thursday, February 25, 1999 - 03:05 pm:

    I can't stand the cute adorable little girl who does the Welch's fruit juice commercials. Talk about the Bad Seed. *shivers*

By Gee on Thursday, February 25, 1999 - 07:02 pm:

    [1] The Snuggles Bear rocks. I will personally kick in the eye anyone who disagrees with me, as per his instructions to me over breakfast this morning.

    [2] The Welch's GIRL? The Welch's boy TICKS ME OFF to no end...let us pray they never mate.

    [c] Who's The Doughboy?

By Margret on Thursday, February 25, 1999 - 09:40 pm:'s me...Snuggle

    The three most ominous words plus giggle ever uttered in the history of vocalizations.

    That pucker welch's girl and that down home daddy's little man welch's boy are not quite as evil as Snuggle. Snuggle could eat them for breakfast and still have a hunger for the downfall of civilization.

    The Pillsbury Doughboy, however, is cool. When I was little, Maria Pullini from next door had a doughboy doll and I COVETED it. I still feel gleeful about giving her a bloody nose when I was in 2nd grade and she was in 1st.

By Cyst on Tuesday, March 9, 1999 - 02:03 pm:

    they're not as scary as the hamburger helper hand. I don't think it was a wise marketing move to use a disembodied human limb to sell ground-meat accessories.

By Emasculus on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 05:52 pm:

    Why does the doughboy have no external genitalia? Shouldn't he be the Pillsbury DoughEunuch?

By Patrick on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 05:58 pm:

    better yet, that Welchs fruit juice girl scares me. I just don't think she is real.

By Nate on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 06:18 pm:

    oh c'mon, she's a cutie.

    why can't anything be nice anymore? anything that is outwardly good is automatically twisted and evil.

By Patrick on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 06:23 pm:

    i have a theory she is a Henson side project in correalation with an up in coming future as a bountiful beauty working exclusively with Dreamworks

By hydrozoa on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 07:44 pm:

    no, no, the welch's girl has my vote for evil incarnate. she looks like she's had railroad ties driven through each side of her face. it's not cute. it's terrible. i hate her as much as i hate the sixth sense kid who says, "i see dead people." and that's a lot, boy howdy.

By Rhiannon on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 08:33 pm:

    I liked that kid. He seemed nice, and I've seen him interviewed and he's really humble and smart. Not like other child actors, who are unspeakably bratty.

    I haven't watched TV in a the Welch's girl blond?

By Patrick on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 08:43 pm:

    yes with the most ridiculous cheeks. i look at her and think Jon Benet. The way she speaks and the words she says are highly abnormal for someone her age

By Rhiannon on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 08:57 pm:

    That girl! She just ain't right.

By hydrozoa on Monday, November 15, 1999 - 10:41 pm:

By Gee on Tuesday, November 16, 1999 - 02:14 am:

    I don't think I want to have children anymore. It's not that I don't like children, because I do. I used to work at a daycare and I was always happy back then. Little kids are really cute and sweet and surprising and brand new. But I'm afraid of the influence I'd have on a child.

    I'd hate myself forever if I screwed it up. I don't even have any children, but already I have such high expectations for any suspected future off-spring. I wouldn't want to subject some poor innocent babe to that.

    That's not the biggest reason, though. Raising a serial killer, or someone who doesn't amount to anything isn't my biggest reason for not wanting children anymore. It's when they leave you. I don't think I could take that. It's all wonderful when they're young, and then they hit their teen years and start trying to think for themselves and not long after that they consider themsleves grown-up and leave your home and you don't see them every day. How can parents handle that? Every day of your life you see the person you love more than anyone in the whole entire world, and then all of a sudden (only aproximatly twenty years later) you just...don't. They're living in their own house and they come back to visit you or you visit them and there are phone calls back and forth, but it's not really the same. They're gone. That would break my heart.

    I forget how this relates to what we were talking about.

By J on Tuesday, November 16, 1999 - 08:59 am:

    Gee,you must think I,m an asshole,God knows,I love my kids,Ryan is the only one who lives here now,he will be 20 in Dec.,it is my one wish to get him the hell out of here,I love him,but I,d miss his living here like a sore asshole.Then again I have thought about snatching my grandson and leaving the country.I had him since he was 5 months old,his mom was fucked up on meth,oh I,m not even going to go there.

By hydrozoa on Tuesday, November 16, 1999 - 04:39 pm:

    kids are horrible little parasites. they feed on your blood and food and make you sick, and when they're finished with that, they're loud, dirty, stupid, thankless little beasts that won't let you sleep. and when they grow out of that stage, they start lying to you and treating you like shit. completely selfish. it's like having a cat who's mean to you and and won't let you pet it. you still have to take care of it. kids as cute and adorable... i see it sometimes, but one side outweighs the other by a landslide.

By Patrick on Tuesday, November 16, 1999 - 05:01 pm:

    do we have baggage?

By Agatha on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 02:47 am:

    it's simply not true. that's all.

By Cyst on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 10:03 am:

    hydrozoa can't be much older than 21, I bet.

By Cyst on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 10:08 am:

    I'm a much better daughter now than I was when I went off to college. I always had some point to make with my mother.

    "no, REALLY, mom, I SMOKE POT. a lot. here, LOOK."

    most kids just go through bad stages. I think it usually all works out eventually.

By J on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 10:32 am:

    I don,t care if my son smokes pot,I,m sick of going to bed with a clean house,then waking up to a fucking mess,I,m sick of cleaning up after his friends and him.They are too lazy to even put a dirty dish in the dishwasher,I,m too anal to put up with this much longer.

By Patrick on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 12:26 pm:

    i was talking with my hair style lady at her house the other night while she was cutting my hair. she is veru honest with her 12 and 8 year old daughters. they were very mature and self reliant kids. she told them about her pot, even asked if they wanted to try it with her, explained when the best time to do it is, explained to them that she only smokes when she makes sure they are taking care of, with either dinner, homework etc. I think the less parents mystify these things the more adult there kids will be about it. Her kids have no interst in trying it, where as my mom might as well have shown me reefer madness...but I am a smart boy so I didn't tkae it or anything else to such an extreme as to cause bodily harm.

    "do as I say not as I do" from our parents no longer works

    honesty, openess and involvment with your childs life I think would alleviate a lot of problems with todays teenagers. If the upper middle class selfish parents weren't off fulfilling their own mid life fantasies and more active in theri kids life, shit like columbine may not happen

By Gee on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 12:58 pm:

    I don't expect everyone to feel the way I do, J, and if you don't that doesn't mean you're a bad person. That's just how *I* feel.

    Agatha, what's not true?

    You can't always blame the parents, Waffle.

By Patrick on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 01:00 pm:

    yes you can

    a child is a clean slate and learns just about everything from you and what it doesn't learn from you, it needs to have guidance on FROM you.....

By Gee on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 01:23 pm:

    Or the child learns from other family members. Or the child learns from the friends. Or the child learns from the teachers. Or the child learns from the TV. Or the child learns from books. Or the child learns from strangers.

    It takes more than one or two people to raise a child. Even still, at some point the "child" has to take responsibility for its own actions.

By Agatha on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 01:24 pm:

    some kids are just bad seeds. the fact that kids are evil is not true. i love kids. they are mostly how adults should be, in my opinion. they haven't had time to develop all of their issues with everything.

By Patrick on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 01:51 pm:

    "Or the child learns from other family members. Or the child learns from the friends. Or the child learns from the teachers. Or the child learns from the TV. Or the child learns from books. Or the child learns from strangers."


    of course a child leans from all of these sources, BUT thats where you come in to offer an explanation, reassurance or whatever it is so that the child will interpret the info correctly. A child will undoubtbly learn violence from the TV, BUT you need to step in as a parent and offer explanations as to WHY it's not acceptable behavior and help the child understand it.

    and yes the child will eventually take responsibility for it's actions, but until 18 or so, when the law allieviates you from responsibility, it's up to you to maintain such a high involvment in a childs life so it won't be steered in a wrong direction. As the child gets older there is a fine line of involvment, with respect to the budding individuality of that child. You want your child to be a best friend, you want them to have confidence, faith, trust and comfort in you, even when they are teenagers. The best parents are the one's whose teen kids still talk to them about their relationship troubles, problems at school etc etc...

By Agatha on Wednesday, November 17, 1999 - 09:27 pm:

    you are simplifying, patrick. it is evident that you have no children.

By Teardrop on Thursday, November 18, 1999 - 06:18 am:

    It never ceases to amaze me to see a child come into the world. Before they even have a chance to begin learning from parents, friends, TV, yada, etc. You can see how each responds in his or her own way. There is ALREADY someone inside there.

    NOT an empty cup - to be filled by whomever.

    We can only take so much responsibilty for our influence on our children. Because they will start making choices on their own... and sometimes just because the parents want something is enough reason for the child to want the opposite, unfortunately.

    I have never regretted having children.

By J on Thursday, November 18, 1999 - 10:47 am:

    I never said I regretted having my kids,I just figure if a taught them right from wrong,and I did,and Ryan knows how I am and he,s still does things that he knows will piss me off,maybe he should get his punk ass out in the real world and see what it,s all about.My worst nightmare is having him still living at home when he,s 35.

By Patrick on Thursday, November 18, 1999 - 12:00 pm:

    yeah yeah

    although i have thought of it more lately. I think I would make a good parent. i know nico would be the best mom ever, Not that those are reasons to breed.

    But then when as I was putting on my new record needle the other night and the TV had a special on about those septuplets out inthe midwest several years ago, well, the kids are all 2 years old now and I couldn't even handle the racket they were making from the yes Agatha I would hope it's obvious i don't have kids.....

By Agatha on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 02:15 am:

    it wasn't an insult, i am just stating that you wouldn't think things were so black and white if you lived with a child every day. kids are born with personalities of their own, you can shape them to some extent but part of who they are is completely and totally out of your hands. it's scary.

By Gee on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 04:25 am:

    I admire you, Agatha. You're very intelligent.

    Not just here. Lots of places.

By J on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 09:13 am:

    Yea Agatha,you are a real mom,I did the best I could.Oh,I,m not even going to go there.We almost got divorced a few years ago,I finally had the guts to do it,but it upset our kids.The counselor even said he underminded me,he was a Disneyland Dad and we were married,he always made me look bad when I was just trying to do right.

By cyst on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 10:01 am:

    I've never heard somoene say they regret having children, and not because I think no one regrets having children.

    it's pretty much one of those things you can never say. you would never want your child to find out you said it.

    even a woman whose husband left her two weeks after the baby was born and had to move into a bungalow with the kid, her dad, his wife, her brother, his girlfriend, their baby, three parrots and a rottweiler.

    she complained about never having any money, not being able to go back to school, having a hard time finding a new man, etc., but of course, she was always quick to make it clear that she didn't regret having the child.

    because even if she did, she wouldn't be allowed to say it.

    I guess I'm just saying that "I have never regretted having children" is a meaningless statement, right up there with all the "I wish I could"s.

    I'm at the stage where I like my friends' well-behaved toddlers. their newborns bore the fuck out of me, though.

By Gee on Saturday, November 20, 1999 - 01:30 am:

    I think you're mistaken, Cyst. Didn't someone post a note on Sorabji a while back saying they regreted having children? I personally know a woman who complains that having children stopped her from having a life. She says it in front of her kids, too. That's pretty much the same thing, I think.

By Patrick on Monday, November 22, 1999 - 06:08 pm:

    i tend to side with cyst,i think it's extremely taboo to say and will be automatically perceived as a sign of horrible parenting.

    and Gee, this woman you know, do me a favor, everytime she says that in front of her kids, slap upside the head would ya? Thats horrible, considering they didn't have achoice in the matter, where as she could have chosen to keep her legs closed or insisted on protection......BITCH!

By Rhiannon on Monday, November 22, 1999 - 06:19 pm:

    My grandmother told my mom and her siblings they weren't wanted all the time. No one cried when she died.

By Lather on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 07:55 am:

    This is the one problem I have with being raised as an atheist. My parents were very clear about letting us know that if things had gone only slightly differently between them, my siblings & I would never even have existed.

    I always had a problem with this. When I was older I spent some time going to a church where they teach that everyone's spirit exists long before being sent to earth in a brand new newborn baby suit. So in that case, if my parents hadn't gotten together, then I'd just be born into a different family. They kind of implied that the spirit somehow "chooses" the family to be born into.

    I found (anyway, that part of) their ideology to be quite beautiful.

    Spirit transcendent
    Pressed to flesh in body fresh
    Brand-new descendent

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 01:28 pm:

    The depth of the discussions here never cease to amaze and impress me.

    As someone who felt Religion was forced down my throat as a kid -- I went to Catholic Grade school -- and even as an adult -- my Grandmother constantly bantering on and on AND ON about church, it just got, and gets, to be a bit much sometimes. I have some great friends who are very religious but are smart enough to know when enough is enough. I don't knock anyone their religious beliefs, I just don't share most of them. And I won't get into all that right now, but perhaps one night when I'm pleasantly sauced, I'll treat you all to my religious rantings.

    I agree with Patrick regarding your acquaintance, Gee, who rags about having kids to her kids. That bitch, and excuse me if that's harsh, needs to check herself and get over it. However, more than likely she was told that as a child too. I certainly did not have the happiest of childhoods, but I think I turned out ok, and I don't think I display any of the traits of my parents, except maybe shyness around people I don't know.

    Now I'm rambling on and on. Birthday season at work begins today. In a 6 month period, everyone (all 15 of us) will have birthdays. Bring on the cake! I just wish the boss would stop buying the dry ass crap cake he buys all the time, and go to a GOOD bakery.

By Patrick on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 01:35 pm:

By J on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 01:50 pm:

    Gee,s friend is emotionally abusing her kids,they will grow up to loathe her,she,s doesn,t deserve kids.When I think about H and his wife,and my friend Darlene and her husband wanting children,and they would be such good parents,it,s not right that some bitch that doesnt even want them,gets them.I was brought up Southern Baptist and they are scarey.

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Tuesday, November 23, 1999 - 11:40 pm:

    I will do that, Patrick. Thanks!

By Rhiannon on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 12:55 am:

    Okay. Y'all know I'm Catholic. I like it that way. I never felt Catholicism was forced down my throat (my parents aren't all that devout). I like its rules.

    But my brother is the complete opposite. He grew up in the same family, had the same kind of education and experiences....and yet he can't stand anything having to do with religion.

    I know this is pretty impractical, but I think somehow children should only be exposed to maybe just a thin wash of religion until they reach the age of reason and can critically evaluate what's going on.

    I think, in my brother's case, being exposed to the rule-heavy Catholicism since infancy turned him against it. He's got issues with control and authority and just with his personality he was kind of born not feeling comfortable going to church and stuff.

    But with me, I like all that authority and organization and formality and ritual. I like being told, "look, we think this is wrong and this is right, and here's our reasoning, based on passages in the bible and the writings of learned people." I would probably be Catholic even if I weren't raised that way.

    It saddens me when I see people discounting religion in general and mine in particular, because it makes me think that they must have had some sort of negative experience(s) growing up or whenever that has put up a block in their minds that doesn't allow them to be rational and clearly see that which they're calling ridiculous or antiquated or whatever their judgment is. They're judging based on information that is inherently biased (which is not necessarily bad, but it is something that one must be aware of) because it has to do with their subjective experience.

    That's another thing I find...that certain people who claim to be so tolerant of other people's culture have little tolerance for people's religion, unless that religion happens to be some non-mainstream one, like Hinduism or something. That makes me wonder if they see the discrepancy in their behavior themselves.

    When it comes to religion, I think the only people qualified to criticize it (whatever sect or faith is in question) are those people who are or were once a part of it. I find non-Catholics' criticisms of Catholicism amusing, because they are so full of error. Just plain factual error. We are not the slaves of the Pope. We are allowed to think for ourselves. We don't hate women. Period.

    Likewise, I can look at something like 7th Day Adventism, which has strict dietary laws, and then point to the passage in the bible where Jesus says it doesn't matter what we eat because it's what comes out of us that is harmful, not what we take into us (through eating)...and then proclaim that religion to be silly because it clearly goes against the teaching of the savior it claims to follow. But I'm not a 7th Day Adventist and I don't know what it's like to be one and I don't know all their tenents and all the little inside practices and beliefs that go along with 7th Day Adventism. Because of this, because of my lack of factual knowledge, I am not qualified to rag on it. End of story.

    Also, for people (usually atheists) to make claims about me because I believe in God...ones that involve such phrases as "blind faith" and "sheep-like" and "silly superstitions" and "deluded fool"...that's quite unfair. That's claiming to know private details about the way I think and such. That's telling me I don't think. That I don't critically evaluate situations and the rules that my religion tells me to follow in such situations, and that those rules are arbitrary or stifling or oppressive or irrational.

    One of the things that Catholicism teaches is important is the informed conscience. Catholicism *expects* you to evaluate situations on your own. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states: "A human being must always obey the certain judgment of his conscience. If he were deliberately to act against it, he would condemn himself" (1790). The example St. Thomas Aquinas gives of this principle, and this is very important, is receiving Holy Communion. He says if you in your heart believe it would be sinful for you to receive Communion for whatever reason (and receiving Communion is considered...well, you can't do anything more holy than that), it would be a sin for you to go against your conscience and receive it. That's how much weight is given to individual reasoning and personal faith.

    People freak out when they hear the word "sin." I think they don't like the idea of being held accountable for their actions by a power larger than themselves. Also they think that most religions deem almost every little thing sinful. That you have to be a celibate, teetotalling, mute monk in order to be considered a good person. What a narrow way of thinking. In that way of thinking, we're all bad people, since none of us measure up. Mother Theresa said it best when she said God doesn't ask us to succeed, He asks us to try. That's all that matters.

    I don't know where I'm going with this anymore. Look at me, writing an essay for you people when I have 2 15-page papers due next week and haven't even found the resources for them yet. *sigh*

    I'm just asking that people (not just you people...everybody) think a little more before they start putting down religion. The end.

By Rhiannon on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 12:57 am:

    Oh my GOD! I didn't know that was that long!

    Sorry about that.

By Gee on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 02:01 am:

    You're a good girl, Rhiannon. People are always complaning about religious zealots who try to cram their faith down other peoples throats, but I see a lot of non-believers who seem to get a great deal of joy out of convincing the Believers that there's no god. That was a long sentance, but you see my point.

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 10:05 am:

    Rules are for governments, not for religion. What really gets my damn goat is the fact that gods everywhere expect you to bow and scrape and worship them.

    how is that any different than Jimmy Jones and his Koolaid kids?

By Patrick on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 12:31 pm:

    i disagree with the whole premis of religion to begin with, it has to do with a lack of discipline as a child. it's not that i can't belong to an order. an establishment with rules, i dunno, i just think that religion was created all together as a means to explain the unknown, to ease any fears or insecurities.....i am afraid to die, but I don't find solice in "praying".....reciting songs about Him and Her etc.....the rituals the men of the cloth do nothing but amuse me at the DETAIL they invest. I will spare you the usual atheist remark about all of the blood shed in the name of someone's god.

    if anything i think i fall under the agnostic umbrella (if labels are important) simply becasue i don't deny *something* may be there i just don't claim to *know* the answers.....

By Rhiannon on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 12:46 pm:

    I understand where you're coming from, Patrick. My own faith has waxed and waned over the years (months, days, minutes, etc.).

    All I'm saying is: all of y'all can think and believe whatever the hell you want. And so can I. I won't tell you you're wrong, and I would appreciate it if no one told me I'm wrong. Because the truth is, no one knows what's really going on, and we could all be wrong.

    Thank you.

By Patrick on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 01:03 pm:

    no no rhi, i could car less, your the ideal christian, i was watching politically incorrect last night and I wanted to throw the goddamn remote at the tv......victoria jackson from SNL was on.....she had noithing to offer the conversation but bible verses, in that whiny annoying voice of hers,, ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

    combined with Larry Flynt, Lyn Redgrave, who i might add was the only sensible one there.....and then some other fuck who kept talking about how hsutler incites child fornication....???!?!?!

    compared to those freaks Rhi, you are alright regardless of what you believe

By J on Wednesday, November 24, 1999 - 02:43 pm:

    My cult is open to members from all walks of life,just bring your cash or Visa card,make your checks out to Janny,oh, make that Rev.Janny.

By CK1 on Monday, February 2, 2004 - 07:19 pm:


By Watawatawoowoopussylicker on Monday, November 15, 2004 - 06:53 pm:


By Pinkcoronagirl on Tuesday, January 25, 2005 - 07:52 pm:

    I think you guys are all really freaking dumb!
    The Snuggles Bear is the freaking cutest thing in the world! andd wtf is up with u guys n the welchs girl..? Deff not evil fags

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