Ever feel like a fire extinquisher?

sorabji.com: Do you love me?: Ever feel like a fire extinquisher?
By Unwanted on Wednesday, June 17, 1998 - 11:16 am:
    Sometimes I feel like a fire extinguisher.

    Everyone wants one, everyone needs one, but what happenes to the extinguisher?
    They are usually not very pretty, and the bright color is considered more conspicuous than artistic, more necessary and functional, so its not something you'd want to hang in the living room where everyone could see it. Probably end of a hallway or more likely inside a closet. That way you know its there, you feel comfortable and secure, but you don't have to look at it or deal with it on a daily basis. If you do feel a little insecure, you can always open the door, turn on the light, and be assured the extinguisher is right there waiting for you to use it.
    You put it on a hook so it can't get away or get lost. You don't want other people using your extinguisher cause if they did, it would be spent, and a spent extinguisher is worthless. Most of the time its cheaper to just buy a new one than recharge the old.

    Sometimes you're never needed at all. Just hang there for years, slowly leaking out, dying a slow miserable lonely death. Then a fire happens, they grab you in need, and though you hung there for YEARS ready to spring into action, you are cursed for not coming through after years of neglect, not even your fault.

    Why can't extinguishers be beautiful, be loved, cared for and appreciated.
    Not just kept on a shelf.

By Brooklyn on Wednesday, June 17, 1998 - 04:37 pm:
    there was a fire in my apartment once..an extinquisher would have come in handy.

    'someone loves us all'

    elizabeth bishop

By Anon on Thursday, June 18, 1998 - 11:56 pm:
    I feel like a fire extinguisher sometimes...Only appreciated when it's convenient and when help is needed--taken for granted that I'll always be there. And since I've always been there, it's okay to relegate me to a dusty corner and leave me alone. And like a fire extinguisher, I'm silent and faithful. But if it goes on any longer-- and the contents of fire extinguishers *are* under pressure--I might decide that I've had enough and explode.

By Unwanted on Friday, June 19, 1998 - 09:56 am:
    More about extinguishers.
    Ever feel like you are a *really* good extinguisher, and when there's a fire, some big guy in a suit comes in saying damn I'm glad you're here, we got a fire and you're the only one that can put it out, we really need your help ---- then SHOVES your face right in the middle of the fire, pulls your pin sayin give it all you got man, everyone is counting on you, lets you give it your all, put it out, then just as you're totally spent, and its all's well and safe again, he hurls you to the side as everyone is approaching, and HE goes out amidst the cheering crowd, everyone thanking him for a job well done, as you look on from the gutter, aching, burned, scraped, dented and spent, too weak and exhausted from battle to raise a hand though people trip over you, step over you, not even recognizing you as what saved them from the fire.

By Asia on Friday, June 19, 1998 - 11:26 am:
    woah! it's metaphor city in here.

    i never feel like anything except what i am. a married 27 year old woman, with two dogs, two rabbits, a mortgage, a full time job, a buttload of in-laws, and a few good friends. my life isnt perfect, but i've never had the feeling that i wasnt loved. that might be an only child thing. i've answered the question and asked it a few times. every time i did, i believed it was truly LOVE. i guess a few times it really was. i never wanted to be more than what i was. except now, im getting this funny feeling inside, like there's something i have to go do. im afraid it involves going back to school. i forsee medical school in my future. and then there's that...by the time i get out of med school, if i start in 2 years, ill be in my 40's. ekk. i've said to much allready. im going out for a cigarette.

By Awakened not Unwanted on Friday, June 19, 1998 - 12:33 pm:
    Thank you Asia.
    I'm reliving the past again. It still hurts, but its past, and its just that - the past.

    I'm male, 34, spent my entire life up until about a year or two ago, building what I thought was a career. Put out a lot of fires, thought I was the best, thinking reward was just around the corner. But the 6th or 7th 'fire' (this time corporate takeover/buyout) ended up with me in the gutter and no job. My dream collapsed. So did a lot of my self identity. Like I was in the middle of a dream, and woke up, learned it was all really fantasy. My life, my career, to a degree even my marriage. All fantasy.

    I began a downward spiral.
    For the first time looking hard at myself as a person, not what I knew and what I could do, but just as a man. Not the ability. So long I had played the part of technical guru I wasn't sure who I was any more.
    I wasn't happy with what I found, so I began searching. Regretably in the wrong directions. Feeling sorry for myself, sometimes getting depressed, and justifying anything that felt good because of it.

    I met a friend.
    Someone with the uncanny ability to see through my haze and with words knock me back into reality. Sometimes very painful, but were always there afterwards to explain and help me understand.
    Showed me a kind of friendship and love I have never felt before.
    For that, I'd die for them.

    So mabe I shouldn't post as Unwanted, but more as Awakened.
    Past is past.

    The future is where we're gonna be.
    So don't worry about being what you wanna be.
    Cause time doesn't really matter.
    True love lasts forever.

By Asia on Friday, June 19, 1998 - 04:33 pm:
    yoikes. now it's metaphor-y and all touchy feely in here. but, ill add my .002:

    i had a friend once, and i mean she was my FRIEND. we'd known each other since nursery school. did everything together, didnt fight. and then after a particularly horrible breakup with someone i'd said i love yous with for almost 2 years, i started drinking. she met this great guy, and we'd go out the three of us and they'd be all kissy lovey and i would just sit there getting drunker and drunker and have no one and watch the couples go by and then they'd go home together, and id go home to my room. well, things between her and i got shitty. i did shit to her, she did shit to me, i should have apologized, she should have apologized, we should have stopped it a long time ago. nursery school to 24 years old is a long damn time. it was one of those things.

    and i know that there will never be a day when i dont think about her. that i dont wish things hadnt turned out the way they did, but i know that they couldnt have been any other way. i guess what i regret the most at this point is that it didnt end gracefully. it was the sawing off of a limb.

    ah, shit. i guess that's life.

    this is the way the world ends
    this is the way the world ends
    this is the way the world ends
    not with a bang but
    a whimper.

    ts eliot

By Whet on Friday, June 19, 1998 - 11:54 pm:
    I get that way sometimes.
    I like the whole .02 please. You make sense.

    True love? Forever is a strong word.
    I have a friend I've known for 30 years, we wore diapers and shit in the same crib together, were cub scouts together, actually CUT our thumbs and held them together to be real blood brothers. Grew up one block apart. Carpooled together. Went to high school together. Took vacations together. Went overseas together. Sounds like you know the kind of friend I'm talking about.
    I was a 'third wheel' too. Sat in the back seat of his car watching them in the front. I was there when he offered the first girl the first engagement ring he ever bought. I'd hurry up fixing his car so he could go on dates. He even let me watch him having sex with a gf at a party since I was a virgin, and didn't know shit. Even talked her into having sex with me, just never took her up on it. We were CLOSE. We're MEN yet we've held each other and cried.

    What happened? Where are we now?
    I think mainly I changed, moved on, and he stayed in the hometown and is still living back in high school.
    I still love him. But its one sided now. I call him. I go to visit him. But he never calls back. Ever.
    He says I'm welcome anytime, and if I show up in 5 minutes its just like it was 10 years ago. But thats just it - 10 years ago.

    He never calls me back. Only when he really needs help and there's no one else to call, cause he knows I'll be there for him. I think he still cares about me sometimes, just he doesn't THINK about me. That hurts like hell.
    Even an argument is a form of recognition

    It hurts like hell, but doesn't make life a shit sandwich.
    There's still true love out there.
    I'm willing to open my heart a crack.
    To give someone's light a chance..

    'The birds they sang
    at the break of day
    Start again,
    I heard them say,
    Don't dwell on what
    has passed away
    or what is yet to be.

    Ring the bells that still can ring
    Forget your perfect offering.
    There is a crack in everything.
    Thats how the light gets in.'

    Leonard Cohen

By Lurker on Saturday, June 20, 1998 - 12:38 am:
    which cohen song is that from? what album?
    i know about fire extinguishers. or conditions where fire is not possible.

By Asia on Saturday, June 20, 1998 - 08:39 am:

    it's off The Future, and i think that the line 'there is a crack/a crack in everything/that's how the light gets in' is just too perfect.

    as i may or may not have mentioned, cohen is my GOD.

By Whet on Saturday, June 20, 1998 - 11:37 am:
    I called my old buddy.
    Left a message on his machine.
    He hasn't got back with me.
    But thats ok.

    I sensed the need to call, let him know that someone was thinking about him.
    This weekend being fathers day - knowing he would be hurting.
    (lost his dad to liver cancer a while back...)

    Funny how people connect sometimes - even across the distance and miles can sense pain or suffering from someone who has touched our heart with their soul.

    That's happened with him about 3 times in the last several years. Like the DAY he lost his job. Hadn't called him in probably a month, and that DAY I knew I had to call.
    Worst time was another such incident, when I called late one night.
    He had broke up with his fiancee that afternoon, was drunk and playing with a pistol, putting it in his mouth. Took about 3+ hours of talking but he put it away.

    Strange how things like that happen.
    Why I believe people really can connect.

    Love is a living gift between friends.
    That requires care and nurturing to survive.

By A-B-C on Tuesday, August 25, 1998 - 11:52 am:

    Get a handle on life....not a fire extinquisher!

    BTW...Are you due for your 12 year hydro-test?


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