sorabji.com: What is your definition of Heaven?: HEAVEN IS

By Doug Jones on Tuesday, May 23, 2000 - 03:47 pm:

    A tight pussy, a fat blunt, and 40 of Olde English 800.

By Gee on Tuesday, May 23, 2000 - 11:41 pm:

    what's a blunt?

By semillama on Wednesday, May 24, 2000 - 08:37 am:

    a hollowed out cigar filled with marijuana.

By Gee on Thursday, May 25, 2000 - 01:56 am:

    oh. thanks.

    I've been thinking of trying a tiny bit of a cigarette. I'm starting to get curious about it, but I'm paranoid when it comes to stuff like that because I get addicted to stuff so easily. We'll see.

By J on Thursday, May 25, 2000 - 02:41 am:

    Gee,don,t you even go there,do you want to sound like me?I think not.

By Spider on Thursday, May 25, 2000 - 12:48 pm:

    They taste horrible. Don't bother, Gee.

By Dougie on Thursday, May 25, 2000 - 02:11 pm:

    Gee, if you're dead set on trying cigarettes (like my choice of words there?) try Drum tobacco and roll your own. It's nice real tobacco, and it isn't all perfumed like Marlboro and the like, and doesn't have the other fun stuff added like ammonia etc.

By Gee on Friday, May 26, 2000 - 01:41 am:

    do they still make mint cigarettes? I saw some movie before where a girl kept buying mint cigarettes and someone asked her why and she said "I like them. They're cool and refreshing." which I thought was amusing.

By droopy on Friday, May 26, 2000 - 01:55 am:

    well, they still make menthol cigarettes.

By mistaswine on Friday, May 26, 2000 - 11:46 am:

    not only is the menthol cigarette a truly foul creation, it's also worse for you than a regular coffin nail. i think it has to do with the by-products released during combustion. burning menthol creates human carcinogens called "benzo pyrenes" or something like that. increases your chances of getting hit with cancer by 50%.

    you're probably better off smoking pot.

By dave on Friday, May 26, 2000 - 12:04 pm:

    don't smoke. i quit smoking at the new year. haven't had one since but STILL have occasional cravings. prior to that, i'd been smoking for 21 years. i'm only 33. when you get to the point where cigarettes aren't nasty, you're hooked. nicotine addiction is an experience you don't need. trust that.

    swine, where're my cds?

By mistaswine on Friday, May 26, 2000 - 12:21 pm:

    y'know, that's a damn good question.

    i found shawn smith, the fall, and gun club in the archives last month. burnt three discs for you the other week. wrapped 'em up in a package about 10 days ago. threw the box on top of my desk and forgot about it.

    now it's MIA.

    we had a re-org last week and now the place is filled with sheisty motherfuckers.


    you'll get yours, eventually.

    everybody does.

By dave on Friday, May 26, 2000 - 12:45 pm:

    i got mine some 33 years ago when i was shat into existence upon this ball of mud. re-orgs are bullshit.

By Nate on Friday, May 26, 2000 - 04:20 pm:

    especially when they change the range your electronic anklet lets you roam.

By Isolde on Friday, May 26, 2000 - 08:17 pm:

    Menthol cigarettes? that sounds repulsive. As if regular cigs weren't bad enough, smokers have to go and torture themselves even more...crazy.

By Dougie on Saturday, May 27, 2000 - 12:58 am:

    You guys have never heard of menthol cigarettes? KOOL or Salem or Newport? What's wrong with you guys?

By Gee on Saturday, May 27, 2000 - 01:09 am:

    I was sure she said Mint. all you people must be wrong.

By semillama on Saturday, May 27, 2000 - 11:08 am:

    There is nothing more repulsive to me to see a woman walk by, start to admire her personal beauty, and then she fucks it all up by bringing one of THOSE death sticks to her lips and sucks away. At that point, I lose a LOT of respect and any attraction I had for the woman. Please do not start smoking Gee. You'd be way better off doing something less destructive, like scarring yourself for fun.

By Isolde on Saturday, May 27, 2000 - 02:17 pm:

    I've heard of menthol cigarettes. My opinion on them is posted above. Cigarettes are _so_ disgusting. They smell foul, they're bad for you, they don't make you any more attractive--they're just digusting. Yich.

By J on Saturday, May 27, 2000 - 03:45 pm:

    Gee don,t you EVER smoke,Ive done all kinds of things,but none that got me so hooked as smoking.My parents both smoked like trains,and looking into my baby book my mom just gave me I can see that I was a full term baby under 6 pounds,thats not good.I have asthma,my mom has to go around with oxygen,is it worth it? I think not.I use to be able to sing,I was a soprano in chorus,now I,m an alto,think Lucy towards the end.Don,t even go there,I,m just telling you this cause I love you.

By Margret on Saturday, May 27, 2000 - 04:05 pm:


    I think the reason all of you are so zealous about this is that you don't have enough nicotine in your bloodstream. It evens out the edges, I am here to say.

    Don't you assholes have anything better to do than advise Gee in her choice of vices?

    What the fuck am I saying?

By Isolde on Saturday, May 27, 2000 - 07:00 pm:

    Margret--my respect for you just dropped. That's too bad. Oh well.
    Look--most people who smoke would agree that's it's a disgusting habit. Not, I note, all, but everyone I talk to would agree. It's foul. I have acute asthma because my father smoked. I had bronchitis every year from the ages of about wo to about eighteen, when I left for college. It's a wonder I can breathe at all at this point.
    Gee, please to not smoke!

By Sorabji on Sunday, May 28, 2000 - 12:35 am:

    kissing a smoker is like kissing a toilet.
    well, i've never kissed a toilet, so what do i know.
    although, i had a roommate in college who complained about cunnilingus (evidently he'd never performed it), and he always ended his rants with "it's like licking a toilet."
    which, i have to assume, is untrue, since toilet fetishes are pretty rare.

By J on Sunday, May 28, 2000 - 02:00 am:

    Oh my!!

By Gee on Sunday, May 28, 2000 - 03:18 am:

    all I said was that I was thinking of Trying it. something like: "Hey, can I try a puff of your cigarette?" and then coughing like a maniac and giving it back.

    I'm starting to get these urges to do things I've never done before. I want to try things.

By Gee on Sunday, May 28, 2000 - 03:24 am:

    I was even thinking of getting drunk. I've never done that before. I always thought I wouldn't want to be drunk because I like to keep control over myself, but now I think it might be fun to try it once. just Once. not to the point where I'm throwing up, just to where I'm laughing at Everything and singing when I walk down the street. I'm sure I'd be a Happy Drunk.

    I even know a guy I could get drunk with. A year ago I never would have let myself lose control around him, but I think it's okay now. there's nothing left for me to say or do around him that I couldn't say or do if I were in control.

    he could stay sober and take care of me in case I tried to do something stupid.

By Daniel ssss on Sunday, May 28, 2000 - 02:50 pm:

    is this the Land of Myth? "In control" and "take care of me" and "do something stupid" drinking and smoking yeah. "He'l take reall good care of you...." Myth. Logic escapes me. I'm speechless.

    If you get all drunked up and want someone to take care of you, better stay with your parents the night you do it.

By cyst on Sunday, May 28, 2000 - 05:40 pm:

    I would love to get drunk and smoke cigarettes and fuck.

    maybe I'll take a bath.

    I went to the volcano this morning.

By Margret on Sunday, May 28, 2000 - 05:45 pm:

    I think milk smells really horrible on the breath and through the pores. Drink all you like.
    Gee is old enough and bright enough to know that smoking is bad for you and stinky.

By Isolde on Sunday, May 28, 2000 - 07:50 pm:

    Rancid milk smells gross. And I guess once it's all warm and it's been in the mouth, it's a little gross. But I like it.

By Gee on Sunday, May 28, 2000 - 11:56 pm:

    Daniel, it's one thing to imply that I'm an idiot, but please refrain from implying that my Friend would be anything less than honorable. Having known him for years I think I'm a better judge of his character than you are.

    I don't know how You treat the women in your life when they're drunk, but He's not the type of person who would try to take advantage of me when I wasn't in control of my faculties.

By agatha on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 02:35 am:

    gee, daniel is a substance abuse counselor. he's coming from a different head space than you.

By J on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 03:25 am:

    Gee,trust no man when your tanked,trust me ,not them.

By Antigone on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 05:33 am:

    You can trust me when you're tanked, Gee.

    Of course, I'll be a thousand miles away, but
    that's beside the point.

By moonit on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 10:06 pm:

    I dont remember my first drunken experience. but I seem to be drinking less these days.

    Thats scary.

    The drinking less I mean.

    You can tell when I am hammered because I am bound to have a cigarette in my hand.

By Gee on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 11:24 pm:


    well, it took me years to settle on a person I could be drunk around, so this is not a whim decision. I know what I'm doing, and I think I'm being more responsible about it (all things considered) than most people are.

    Anyway, I tried a cigarette today. just a couple of puffs. I asked Ishmael if I could try his. I tried it once and everything seemed fine. I wasn't even sure I was getting any smoke out of it until I saw it pouring out of my mouth.

    then he said "Do you want to try inhailing it now?" and I said "I thought I did!". I guess I hadn't. I tried it again and inhailed a little bit. I didn't cough as much as I'd thought I would. I only coughed once. It made my throat hot and scratchy and I was salivating a Lot for about an hour afterwards.

    I didn't hate it but I didn't love it either. I don't think I'll be a smoker. There wasn't really anything about it that I activly Liked that would make me want to smoke some more. I mean it didn't have an interesting taste or even any taste at all that I noticed.

    so, curiosity satisfied.

By Isolde on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 11:26 pm:

    I remember my first drink experience all too well. I don't smoke drunk or sober, but I love to hang out around people smoking cloves. They smell nice. They do horrid thngs to one's lungs, but they smell so good...
    I once dated someone who smoked cloves. I loved to wear his shirts.

By moonit on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 11:57 pm:

    Yum I love those cigarettes. We had them one night after a really nice dinner. But man do they give you a headache the next day.

By Isolde on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 11:59 pm:

    I'll bet. I adore the smell, though. It's pathetic.

By Daniel ssss on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 12:43 am:

    I didn't mean to imply anything of the sort. And I am - among other things - a counselor of drunks and druggies, and pedophiles and abductees (but specializing in coke heads and gamblers). I would also clarify that most men friends would befriend a woman friend when the latter is tanked.

    But overall, I'm with J on the trusting of others of the opposite gender to take care of one when drunk. May be I a. just don't trust others, or b. think that one ought to drink responsibly if at all, or c. am an opinionated buffoon, or d. think that getting tanked just for the experience of puking all night long is rather foolish. I do have plenty of experience on the getting drunk part, the puking part, the experiementation part, and - lest we forget - the counseling of woman AND men who have been molested, accosted, raped, or injured by their Friends. So yeah, I am coming from a different space here.

    Probably fit the buffoon part too. Also, I liked the mint cigs, the menthols, and American Spirit organic menthol killer sticks (Santa Fe tobacco co organic and pesticide free...my favorite). My mother smoked Salem menthols from age thirteen to age 42 when she died. My sons' step dad, a runner and very fit man, died one month after his 50th, and hadn't smoked or drank for over 25 years or so. Of lung cancer. He was a two pack a day guy but hadn't touched the stuff in years.

    I haven't smoked but one big fattie Cuban or anything else legal, since I quit smoking the illegal stuff. Come to think of it, the Cuban was illegal here too. And it made me sick for three days. And smelled my convertible up pretty badly even though the top was down.

    Cigs are especially bad here in the states because of the additives like acetlyaldehyde, (which is by the way the poison metabolized from beverage alcohol your liver must detoxify)turpentine, shellac, and caramel (good for candy but carcinogenic as hell when burned), and other shit mixed with the low tar little nicotine practically flavorless tobacco.

    But then again, a lot of us eat bratwurst. Or breath exhaust. I'm just rather against the "let's try this Eddie" format. Yet, when Eddie died, he said it was really good PCP in that joint.

By Isolde on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 12:54 am:

    I'm just not impressed with smoking. That's all there is to it. I have to inhale nasty drugs at least three times a day in addition to albuterol almost all the time party because my father smoked and destroyed my lungs. No good.
    I used to trust people when I had drunk a little, but I had a very special situation and very special friends. The only time I ever drunk enough to puke, I almost had to go to the hospital. But my friends were incredibly kind, sat up with me all night maing sure I didn't asphyxiate, etc, which was a really good thing to do, and I still feel guilty. (This was when I was a sophomore in high school, at that.) But now, I wouldn't trust people whe I'm drinking. My friends have scattered and I don't have that close-kniw group anymore.

By J on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 10:45 am:

    This is as good a place as any to put this I quess,my s/o was off Fri. and didn,t have to be at work till today again.He was going to paint just the fence,he got the wrong color and ended up painting the whole outside of the house too,he had help,it wasn,t me.So I didn,t go anywhere the whole time,till yesterday afternoon when he was finally done.Ryan had come by Fri. night to borrow a sleeping bag,he and 2 friends were going to Rocky Point,he came home yesterday with some b.s. about getting robbed.He was still here when we went bowling,got a call from Ryan at the alley.He had left our house and was pulling out onto Warner,hit a truck,put the car in reverse and drove backwards to our house.When we came home,his smashed car was in the drive-way,my cordless phone was smshed on the garage floor.He was already arrested and gone.He is in big trouble now,they tested him for booze and drugs.Just a year and a half ago,he got stopped for D.W.I.,he hadn,t been drinking but told the cop his friends had been smoking pot in his car earlier,now this is his second offense in less than 2 years,and a hit and run to boot.If he tests positive for anything he is looking at the very least a month in tent city.I feel sorry for him,but maybe something will finally sink in that empty little head of his.

By patrick on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 01:15 pm:

    jesus, sorry j

    (exhaling) smoking can* be the cats meow......drum cigarettes are the biggest pain in the ass, some hippie tried to pawn that crap on me in college. I pay my money to have the labor done for me.....american spirits are envogue, but becasue i was taugght to smoke fast (highschoolbathrooms)i can do them, they burn to slowly, and i actually end up smoking more.

    what i find amusing is, we will eat some of the foulest parts of an animal...and they call smoking a nasty habit....raw fish is far more nasty
    than a cigarette.......

By Dougie on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 01:45 pm:

    Uhh, I smoke, and I eat sushi/sashimi with abandon. There is no way you can compare cigarette smoking to eating Japanese food. Prepared correctly, sushi/sashimi is one of the cleanest, healthiest, and prettiest foods you can eat. Smoking in any form is nasty, disgusting, and probably the unhealthiest thing you can do to yourself. I'm hoping the two balance each other out in my case.

By patrick on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 01:54 pm:

    consuming burning tobacco vs raw seafood

    i will take burning foliage anyday

    not discussing the health apsect.

By J on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 03:37 pm:

    Raw seafood can give you a really bad skin condition,I saw it on the news,this man looked like he was losing half the skin on his legs,it sure scared me.

By Dougie on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 03:44 pm:

    Oh come on. I've been eating raw seafood for 25 years, and I don't have any skin condition, nor do any of my friends who eat it more often than I do. I eat sushi, clams, oysters, what have you. My skin is just fine. Where's this guy on the news getting his seafood from?

By Nate on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 04:01 pm:

    i love drugs.

By J on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 04:05 pm:


By Dougie on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 05:05 pm:

    Well there you have it then. Raw seafood from Mexico. I wouldn't touch that with a ten foot fishing pole.

By Gee on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 07:20 pm:

    anyway, I tried coffee today. My first time that I can remember. I seem to remember a babysitter of mine giving it to me when I was a kid, but that's a vauge memory.

    I think it was from Tim Horton's. it had cream and sugar in it. I just had a sip from someone elses. it wasn't bad. I liked it more than the cigarette. it reminded me of chocolate.

    Ishmael loaned me a copy of Playboy today. I haven't really looked at it yet, but I flipped through it. there really aren't as many naked women pictures as I thought there'd be. Still, I'm looking forward to reading it when I get home.

    I'm having fun.

By Dougie on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 07:25 pm:

    How old are you, Gee?

By Rhiannon on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 07:38 pm:

    Wow, Gee. It seems I'm more experienced than you in some areas. I'm not used to this feeling.

By cyst on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 09:26 pm:

    god, gee, I wish I could do all these things for the first time again. how exciting.

    what do employers ask during job interviews these days?

By Isolde on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 09:26 pm:

    First of all--raw food is far safer than cooked food, because more precauations are taken to keep it utterly free of bacteria. I loved sushi when I ate meat, and vastly prefer it to ingesting cancerous substances. In fact, even were it prepared badly, I would prefer a mild case of stomach ache to foul, reeking, tobacco smoke any day.
    The government has finalyl decided that second hand smoke _really_ is bad for you.

By droopy on Tuesday, May 30, 2000 - 10:09 pm:

    mexican seafood. years ago when i was of a more ambulatory nature i worked for a landscaping company that serviced a lot of apartment complexes. this is in texas. my supervisor would drag these coolers full of gulf shrimp (which he would keep in the trunk, in 100+ weather) and sell them to the residents while the rest of us worked. god knows how many people he made deathly ill.

    i get a vicarious thrill following gee's descent into vice.

    i avoid smoking because i've already lost 16% lung capacity by puncturing them, but i do love an occasional cigar.

    i love alcohol.

By Antigone on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 01:43 am:

    Nothing beats sushi...

    There's this great place near me, an all you can
    eat sushi buffet.

    It's at least a once a week affair these days.

    Raw fish, raw fish, raw fish!

By J on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 02:16 am:

    Most of the shrimp and seafood harvested out of Mexico is by the Japaneese,the natives really resent it.I use to think shrimp looked like bugs,now I love them.I love lobster too,though I would have never tried it if a certain asshole had not taken me out and just the fact that he took me where he did made him think he could grope me.It just cost the most,and I was sick of him.

By Atalanta on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 03:07 am:

    Ultimately, you have to make your own
    decision. Cigarrette smoke repulses me, but
    at the same time is deliciously seducting. I've
    never been a smoker, but my friends smoke
    heavily. They spend all of their money on
    cigarrettes, but more importantly, they're
    spending their lives. I've tried it, just to TRY it,
    to experience it. The thing was, I knew that I
    didn't want to get addicted. If you've also never
    been drunk, then you've probably never
    smoked pot before either. Try that, too. But
    Gee, some things you can try and they won't
    hurt you- other things will. Just keep that in
    mind. Also, when you get drunk, you don't
    have to get rippingly drunk. Remember to
    stop when you feel. ... woozy. Then refill as
    needed- or you'll be soo sick, the toilet will feel
    like the softest pillow in paradise. Good Luck.

By patrick on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 12:33 pm:

    yeah droop, i too am kinda of enamored by watching gee's descent to the dark side, it makes me nostalgic.

By Gee on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 12:58 pm:

    I never had a wild period before. I think I'm aging backwards or something.

    I'm twenty-three.

By semillama on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 03:05 pm:

    Just stay away from the 'Phrane. Trust me.

By moonit on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 06:05 pm:

    I feel old today reading your posts Gee.
    and I'm 24.
    Altho I didnt start drinking coffee until I started working where I am now - three years ago.
    I have been drinking since I was 15.
    I have been drugging since I was 18.

By semillama on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 08:34 pm:

    I didn't start drinking coffee until after I graduated from college. I started drinking alcohol after I started college. I have never smoked cigarettes.

    If there's a gateway, i think I went through from the other side.

By Isolde on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 09:42 pm:

    God. I feel really old too. I've been drinking hard alchohol since I was 12 and taking drugs since I was about 15. Yuck. Why? It's not like it ruined my life or I did badly in school or something, but I could have done much cooler stuff on the weekend than drinking and hanging out with my overage boyfriend.

By Gee on Wednesday, May 31, 2000 - 11:57 pm:

    what is 'Phrane?

By patrick on Thursday, June 1, 2000 - 12:26 pm:

    yeah sem what the hell is that?

    i am like you iso.....i blame it all on the older brother and a divorcee for a mum

By Nate on Thursday, June 1, 2000 - 12:38 pm:

    i started drinking at 21. drugs shortly after.

By Jay on Thursday, June 1, 2000 - 03:18 pm:

    i was a wastoid for a long time. drinking, smoking pot, eating acid, picking shrooms, eventually doing heroin. then my drinking seriously kicked my ass and i decided to clean up my act. i never thought i'd stop partying but i did and it's been the best three months of my life. today i have 100 days sober and thats a fucking miracle. prior to these 100 days the longest i'd gone in 7 years was 6 days. and that was only without drinking, i still smoked pot.
    you can do it put your ass in to it.

By Nate on Thursday, June 1, 2000 - 06:16 pm:

    scratch that. put it in your ass.

By Isolde on Saturday, June 3, 2000 - 01:40 am:

    I don't think my parents being divorced had anything to do with it. People who think that are...silly. I think it had more to do with my wanting to fit in with older friends and yielding to the demands to drink and drop.

By dave on Saturday, June 3, 2000 - 02:06 am:


By Maggie on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 07:19 pm:

    Heaven is going to a baseball game where there are the most gorgeous tall young cute guys you can imagine all in one place. *sigh*

By dave. on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 07:30 pm:

    1 year later and i still say:



The Stalking Post: General goddam chit-chat Every 3 seconds: Sex . Can men and women just be friends? . Dreamland . Insomnia . Are you stoned? . What are you eating? I need advice: Can you help? . Reasons to be cheerful . Days and nights . Words . Are there any news? Wishful thinking: Have you ever... . I wish you were... . Why I oughta... Is it art?: This question seems to come up quite often around here. Weeds: Things that, if erased from our cultural memory forever, would be no great loss Surfwatch: Where did you go on the 'net today? What are you listening to?: Worst music you've ever heard . What song or tune is going through your head right now? . Obscure composers . Obscure Jazz, 1890-1950 . Whatever, whenever General Questions: Do you have any regrets? . Who are you? . Where are you? . What are you doing here? . What have you done? . Why did you do it? . What have you failed to do? . What are you wearing? . What do you want? . How do you do? . What do you want to do today? . Are you stupid? Specific Questions: What is the cruelest thing you ever did? . Have you ever been lonely? . Have you ever gone hungry? . Are you pissed off? . When is the last time you had sex? . What does it look like where you are? . What are you afraid of? . Do you love me? . What is your definition of Heaven? . What is your definition of Hell? Movies: Last movie you saw . Worst movie you ever saw . Best movie you ever saw Reading: Best book you've ever read . Worst book you've ever read . Last book you read Drunken ramblings: uiphgy8 hxbjf.bklf ghw789- bncgjkvhnqwb=8[ . Payphones: Payphone Project BBS

sorabji.com . torturechamber . px.sorabji.com . receipts . contact