Grandpa Dolemite? Where are you?: Grandpa Dolemite?

By patrick on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 11:58 am:

    what up.

    I was watching the last episode of Ken Burns's Jazz last night....watching footage of Cecil Taylor, Herbie Hancock, Miles and Sly and the Family Stone....i wondered about you.

    what up

By Dougie on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 12:45 pm:

    I watched some of the jazz documentary on and off. Mixed reactions. Learned some stuff I didn't know, but to me, it seemed like it should have been called "Wynton Marsalis on Jazz, A Documentary by Ken Burns." Not that I dislike Wynton, but come on, it was pretty one-sided. And after a while, Burns' documentaries all look and sound the same, whether Civil War, baseball or jazz.

By patrick on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 01:09 pm:

    i understand.....and i debated that throughout myself. But you know, I enjoyed hearing Wynton speak. I enjoyed his oopinions and persepective. I also learned a few things about him that imrpessed the hell out of me...the fact the he was awarded a nobel peace prize for music...or was it a Pullitzer....eitherway..the man has some talent...and he was a delight to listen to.

    i also debated the fact that they mentioned Louie Armstrong in every god damn episode. Not that i dislike Louie or deny his influence, impact, talent and maybe even brilliance.

    But he's not the cream of my tastes. I can listen, i can dig it, and really get into it...but when i want to be moved, taken to another level, i got a handful of others i resort too.

    A lot of the things they were saying I already knew by reading Miles and Bird's autobiographies and biographies...but the footage and photos really got me going. Some of the images were stellar.

By drooopy on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 01:39 pm:

    i love louie. might just be my old age.

    i watched that documentary the way a fan does: just hungry for the images and stories of people you know and love already. at the end, though, it did all feel a little like an extended vh1 profile. or a jazz promotional film: don't let this most american of art forms die. which i can live with.

    i never knew that "fables of faubus" had lyrics, though. right now i'm listening to my '59 recording of "mingus ah um" with that piece on it sans the words. i've gotta go dig that up.

    i love mingus. there is nothing cooler than a bass player.

By patrick on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 01:55 pm:

    do you dig his piano work in later years?

    one of my fav Mingus cds is called "Monkey Jungle" Its Mingus on bass, Roach on drums and Ellington on keys....sweet man!

By Dougie on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 02:05 pm:

    I enjoyed hearing Wynton speak too, don't get me wrong, and I love his enthusiasm, it's just that I thought he was in way too many segments.

By droop on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 02:17 pm:

    right now mingus is playing a sweet little bluesy bass solo on "pussy cat dues".

    yeah, i dig his key works. it's just that bass has some kind of meaning for me. one time a drummer, after i'd let him mess around on my bass during a lull in a jam session, said something about how bass was such a perfect intermediary between drums and guitar. and he was right: you have the chance to be melodic and lyrical, but there's also that muscle you don't get in another instrument (unless it's percussion). that funk.

    "monkey jungle" was the first mingus album i ever had, which i have since lost. i'm going to have to go on a jazz buying spree here pretty soon.

By grandpa dolemite on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 02:19 pm:

    to hell with the empty criticism. somebody had to be a consultant on that project. it's not like ken burns knows anything about jazz.

    gonna buy the DVD set from for $125.

    been listening to a lot of electric-era miles again.
    live evil, live at the fillmore east, dark magus, black beauty, agharta, pangaea...

    sampling the hell out of it for kicks. you can take a few miles’ horn phrases, layer them over a ron carter bass lick, then set a tony allen/billy cobham drum foundation and just remix shit for years. yeah, it’s cheap and artless but it sure as hell gets me off.

    there's this 10-15 second section on live evil where john mclaughlin pulls off this crazy-assed funk riff that's had my head spinning for days. most of it doesn't synch up to davis/carter/hancock etc... but for about 5 seconds it's about the most amazing shit i've heard all month. i keep trying to isolate and pilfer, isolate and pilfer, but i guess it's just not meant to be. just as well. it's not mine to take, anyway.

    beat jacking.

    but i can't stop thinking about it. it’s bordering on the obsessive. yesterday i'm on a conference call with a client trying to straighten out their data issues, and the only thing going through my head is “fwa-fwa-fwip chickaWAH [pause] chickaWAH [pause] fwip-fwip fwip chickaWAH!”.

    i need closure. or a good kick in the head.

    i think i’ll go home tonight, lock myself in the apartment and try to work it out.

    Work it out.

    funny thing happened on the way to being single again:

    i’ve been looking all over this miserable city for a copy of herbie hancock’s “flood” and keep coming up empty handed. it’s always “that shit went out of print, son!” or “last time I’ve seen Flood I was still buying cigarettes for a dollar and change!” or “I just sold my last copy last week! where the hell were you?”

    uptown, downtown, east side, west side, brooklyn… what do I get? not a goddamn thing..

    and so i guess i missed a dinner date or two in the process.

    and this is a Big Thing.

    so what’s the funny part? she says to me, “y’know. when i first met you i thought you were pretty smart. now i’m starting to realize you’re just smart enough to be an effective asshole.”

    smart enough to be an effective asshole.

    fucking hilarious, huh?

    it's moments like these that make louis armstrong so important.

By grandpa dolemite on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 02:24 pm:

    oh yeah, i forgot.

    this just adds insult to injury.

By Dougie on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 02:40 pm:

    OK then, I retract my empty criticism. I now feel that instead of all that historical footage Ken Burns wasted time with, he should've just turned the camera on Wynton the entire series and let him talk about the music, with the music running in the background. Mea culpa.

By patrick on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 02:50 pm:

    after recently finding Miles Smiles and Water Babies for unbelievably cheap on convinced the Hancock, Williams, Carter, Davis and even Corea line up is one of my favorites.

By grandpa dolemite on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 02:53 pm:

    who is that guy?

    the general criticism (which i was referring to)is that the documentary was solely wynton marsalis' vision.

    y'know, you're a pretty smart guy...

By sarah on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 03:12 pm:

    Presenting Ken Burns' 144-hour Extremely Important documentary, "Jazz."

    Fade up on a grainy old photograph of a man in a three-piece suit, holding a cornet. Or a bicycle horn, it's hard to tell.

    Narrator: Skunkbucket LeFunke was born in 1876 and died in 1901. No one who heard him is alive today. The grandchildren of the people who heard him are not alive today. The great-grandchildren of the people who heard him are not alive today. He was never recorded.

    Wynton Marsalis: I'll tell you what Skunkbucket LeFunke sounded like. He had this big rippling sound, and he always phrased off the beat, and he slurred his notes. And when the Creole bands were still playing De-bah-de-bah-ta-da-tah, he was already playing Bo-dap-da-lete-do-do-do-bah! He was just like gumbo, ahead of his time.

    Announcer: LeFunke was a cornet player, gambler, card shark, pool hustler, pimp, male prostitute, Kelly Girl, computer programmer, brain surgeon and he invented the internet.

    Stanley Crouch: When people listened to Skunkbucket LeFunke, they heard Do-do- dee-bwap- da-dee-dee- de-da-da- doop-doop-dap. And they knew even then how deeply profound that was.

    Announcer: It didn't take LeFunke long to advance the art of jazz past its humble beginnings in New Orleans whoredom with the addition of a bold and sassy beat.

    Wynton: Let me tell you about the Big Four. Before the Big Four, jazz drumming sounded like BOOM-chick-BOOM-chick-BOOM-chick. But now they had the Big Four, which was so powerful some said it felt like a Six. A few visiting musicians even swore they were in an Eight.

    Stanley: It was smooth and responsive, and there was no knocking and pinging, even on 87 octane.

    Wynton: Even on gumbo.

    Announcer: When any musician in the world heard Louis Armstrong for the first time, they gnawed their arm off with envy, then said the angels probably wanted to sound like Louis. When you consider a bunch of angels talking in gruff voices and singing "Hello Dolly," you realize what a stupid aspiration that is.

    Gary Giddy: Louis changed jazz because he was the only cat going Do-da-dep-do-wah-be-be, while everyone else was doing Do-de-dap-dit-dit-dee.

    Stanley: And that was very profound.

    Marsalis: Like gumbo.

    Stanley: Uh-huh.

    Matt Glaser: I always have this fantasy that when Louis performed in Belgium, Heisenberg was in the audience and he was blown away and that's where he got the idea for his Uncertainty Principle.

    Marsalis: Because the Uncertainty Principle, applied to jazz, means you never know if a cat is going to go Dap-da-de-do-ba-ta-bah or Dap-da-de-do-bip-de-beep.

    Wynton: Louis was the first one to realize that.

    Stanley: And that can be very profound.

    Stanley: I thought it was a box of chocolates...

    Announcer: The Savoy Ballroom brought people of all races colors and political persuasions together to get sweaty as Europe moved closer and closer to the brink of World War II.

    Savoy Dancer: We didn't care what color you were at the Savoy. We only cared if you were wearing deodorant.

    Stanley: Wynton always wears deodorant.

    Glaser: I'll bet Arthur Murray was on the dance floor and he was thinking about Louis and that's where he got the idea to open a bunch of dance schools.

    Stanley: And that was very profound.

    Giddy: Let's talk about Louis some more. We've wasted three minutes of this 57-part documentary not talking about Louis.

    Wynton: He was an angel, a genius, much better than Cats.

    Stanley: He invented the word "Cats."

    Wynton: He invented swing, he invented jazz, he invented the telephone, the automobile and the polio vaccine.

    Stanley: And the internet.

    Wynton: Very profound.

    Announcer: Louis Armstrong turned commercial in the 1930s and didn't make any more breakthrough contributions to jazz. But it's not PC to point that out, so we'll be showing him in every segment of this series to come, even if he's just doing the same things as the last time you saw him.

    Glaser: I'll bet Chuck Yeager was in the audience when Louis was hitting those high Cs at the Earle Theater in Philadelphia, and that's what made him decide to break the sound barrier.

    Stanley: And from there go to Pluto.

    Wynton: I'm going to make some gumbo-

    Stanley: BOOM-chick-BOOM-chick-BOOM-chick!!

    Giddy: do-yap-do-wee- bah-scoot-scoot-dap-dap... That's what all the cats were saying back then.

    Announcer: In 1964, John Coltrane was at his peak, Eric Dolphy was in Europe, where he would eventually die, the Modern Jazz Quartet was making breakthrough recordings in the field of Third Stream Music, Miles Davis was breaking new barrier with his second great quintet, and Charlie Mingus was extending jazz composition to new levels of complexity. But we're going to talk about Louis singing "Hello Dolly" instead.

    Stanley: Louis went, Ba-ba-yaba-do-do- dee-da-bebin-doo-wap- deet-deet-do-da-da.

    Wynton: Sweets went,Scoop-doop-shalaba- yaba-mokey-hokey-bwap-bwap-tee-tee-dee.

    Giddy: I go, Da-da-shoobie-doobie- det-det-det-bap-bap-baaaaa...

    Announcer: The rest of the history of jazz will be shown in fast forward and will occupy exactly seven seconds. --There, that was it. Now here are some scenes from Ken Burns' next documentary, a 97-part epic about the Empire State Building, titled "The Empire State Building."

    "It is tall and majestic. It is America's building. It is the Empire State Building. Dozens of workers gave their lives in the
    construction of this building."

    Matt Glaser: I'll bet that they were thinking of Louis as they were falling to their deaths. I have this fantasy that his high notes inspired the immenseness of the Empire State Building.

    Wynton Marsalis: I'll bet most people who'd fall off the Empire State Building would go "Aaaaahhhh!" But these cats went "Dee-dee-daba-da-da- bop-bop-de-dop-shewap-splat!"

By patrick on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 03:21 pm:

    that is the funniest god damn thing i've read all day.


By Nate on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 03:41 pm:

    if you just pulled that out of your ass sarah, i'm going to have to go beat off.

By semillama on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 03:46 pm:

    damn straight.

    I know fuck-all about jazz.

    I do know that for some reason, I can not get my jazz musician brother to actually GIVE ME JAZZ as a birthday present. I constantly tell him, get me some good jazz, stuff you think is vital, and he gets me movies instead. Granted, he gets me GOOD movies, but man, I just don't know.

By sarah on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 04:08 pm:

    Announcer: When Nate beats off he goes like, thip-thip-thadda-dadda-thip-thaddah-dah but when Louis whacked off he went, bah-bap-yadda-dadda-bap-dee-wap.

    Stanley: That's when jazz was really invented.

    Marsalis: And gumbo.

    Announcer: I'm hungry.

By semillama on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 05:02 pm:

    My god. I'm about to shit my pants laughing.

    That's so brilliant.

By Dougie on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 05:54 pm:

    Excellent, sarah!

    And in other matters:

    "who is that guy?"

    Same guy who's been posting here for the last year or so.

    Who are you? I have an idea from the I'm-too-hip-to-live tone of your posting, but I'm too lazy to search back and peg you to your nom du jour, so I'll let it go at that.

By Cat on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 06:20 pm:

    You jazz Sarah!

    (get it? hehheheheheheh Instead of "You rock" - "you jazz"..... Ok......I'll go take a nap now)

By Nate on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 06:42 pm:

    it's funny that someone wouldn't know the swine.

By Dougie on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 06:54 pm:

    Funny ha ha or funny strange?

By Nate on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 06:57 pm:

    does it look like i'm laughing?

    you think this is a fucking joke?

By Dougie on Thursday, February 1, 2001 - 07:00 pm:

    Yeah, pretty much.

By semillama on Friday, February 2, 2001 - 09:52 am:



By patrick on Thursday, February 15, 2001 - 05:03 pm:

    Yo, Grandpa......

    you know anything about this?

    seems right up your alley

By sarah on Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 12:12 am:

    hey gramps. i was still living in honolulu then. not knowing yet that i was going to leave for good five months later.

    where were you?

By grandpa dolemite on Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 07:50 pm:

    i was still in manhattan, working at muze. only
    weeks away from succumbing to the advances of that
    crazy little blonde woman in marketing who nearly
    seduced me into matrimony. if it weren't for
    terrorists, tech bubbles, and crashing economies--
    i'd probably have an ex-wife right now and a
    shitload of debt. instead, i just have an ex-
    girlfriend and mediocre credit.

    thank god for silver linings.

By grandpa dolemite on Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 08:09 pm:

By grandpa dolemite on Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 08:15 pm:

By heather on Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 09:44 pm:

    i was finishing my thesis.

    still had yet to ruin a million different things.

    how do i slow this thing down?

By agatha on Sunday, August 22, 2010 - 11:05 pm:

    Grandpa, are you still in Portland? How come you never visit?

By grandpa dolemite on Monday, August 23, 2010 - 07:05 am:

    hey agatha. i do still live in portland, although
    i'm not quite sure why. cheap rent, probably. i'm
    planning on heading up to seattle for the west-
    indian festival in september. maybe i'll catch you
    guys on the way back. better yet, you and dave
    should hit me up next time you visit portland. how
    is dave, anyway?

By sarah on Monday, August 23, 2010 - 10:29 pm:

    here's something crazy. i'm on this local austin yoga mamas alt-schooling mailing list that just formed. and it feels like internet deja vu. online yoga moms flaming* each other. so weird.

    i joined because it appears that TD1 is not going to be best served by public schooling, so i'm planning ahead by researching other options. i joined this particular group because i didn't want to join the austin home schooling group because what i've read so far they're all a bunch of whacked out, judgmental, ungrounded, full-of-themselves freaks.

    but maybe that's really all there is anyway.

    in any case, my original point being that it's like reliving the sorabji boards circa 1998.

    * remember "flaming" ?? hah!

By semillama on Tuesday, August 24, 2010 - 02:33 pm:

    1998 is right around when I first started posting here.

By blindswine on Tuesday, August 24, 2010 - 03:38 pm:

    i smell llama.

    how've you been?

By semillama on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 - 01:19 pm:

    Pretty good - really absorbed into this whole parenthood thing. My son took his first unassisted steps yesterday and pointed out the large concrete spheres outside of Target and called them "balls"-this is after his intake appointment with the Ohio "Help Me Grow" program to get his lack of walking and use of words looked at.

    Obviously, he's fucking with us.

By sarah on Wednesday, August 25, 2010 - 03:20 pm:

    he is totally fucking with you! TD1 didn't say a word til she was 18 months old, and only had a handful of words by the time she turned two - even though she understood everything. she didn't talk at all her whole first year at Montessori. but oh lord please help me the child never shuts up now.

    now go ahead swine, tell sem how old you were before you started talking.

By semillama on Thursday, August 26, 2010 - 11:03 am:

    I didn't start talking until two.

By agatha on Thursday, August 26, 2010 - 12:25 pm:

    I'm sure swine was talking straight out of his mama. I'm actually going to be in Portland this weekend, but I'm pretty tied up the whole time. You could come see me at the Portland zine symposium- I'll be volunteering there, although I won't be there every single moment. I organized a librarian conference on Monday, so I'll be at the North Portland library all day. Email me and I'll send you my numbah. hortensejones at gmail.

By Antigone on Thursday, August 26, 2010 - 02:37 pm:

    When I was a toddler I apparently only made one or two word
    sentences. Then one day I was really pissed off at my older
    sister, and my mom says this was the first long sentence she
    heard me say:

    "I'm going to cut you all up...into TWO PIECES!"

    Ada regularly crafts 10 word sentences these days. Methinks
    that's her mother's influence. :)

By blindswine on Thursday, August 26, 2010 - 05:27 pm:

    you'd bet wrong-- i didn't start talking until i was
    three or four years out of my momma. my older
    brother and sister used to speak for me so much that
    i must have figured speaking for myself was
    unnecessary. that sure changed. but for a while my
    parents thought i was retarded. my siblings still

    i would e-mail you, but i don't have your e-mail
    address. here's mine.

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