Valentine's Day What is your definition of hell?: Valentine's Day

By sarah on Thursday, February 10, 2000 - 05:02 pm:

    normally i could care less one way or another about valentine's day. but this year i wish i could just get a date. that's all. just a date. i don't need flowers, chocolate, or an expensive dinner.

    maybe just someone to play guitar with, who will kiss me sweetly before i go home.

By Margret on Thursday, February 10, 2000 - 06:10 pm:

    I tried to stealthily find your real-world address online so I could send you a book or something.
    I couldn't.
    But I did find this.
    You are so fucking hot, girl.
    Happy Valentine's Day, sorry I didn't succeed in stalking you.

By _____ on Thursday, February 10, 2000 - 07:15 pm:

    i'll be your valentine if you'll just take your damn turn. you haven't played in like a month. is it because i'm winning?

By sarah on Thursday, February 10, 2000 - 07:39 pm:

    oh shit margret. you don't know what you are talking about. if i'm so fucking hot, then were is my nice boyfriend?


    i forgot to change the cam picture. that one is from sunday. i cruised home after paddling, pulled off my cap, checked my email, turned the cam on, decided to ditch the computer, shut it down, and went surfing instead. didn't even bother to take off my sunglasses, since that whole episode took about 2.5 minutes. plus the sun shines directly into my room all afternoon and it's so bright in there i sometimes need to wear sunglasses while computing to help with the glare.

    but that is neither here nor there. it certainly is of no importance.

    margret, do you have a sorabjimail account? i will email you my mailing address. maybe we can exchange books, i could use some new good reads. SINCE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN READ MYSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHTS. THAT'S RIGHT, JUST ME AND MY BOOKS CURLED UP IN BED.

    booohooooo hooooooooooo

By sarah on Thursday, February 10, 2000 - 07:39 pm:

    hey dave. chew me.

By sarah on Thursday, February 10, 2000 - 08:15 pm:

    btw, those are the sunglasses michael gave me when i woke up at his house on the beach one glorious sunday morning.

    he went and got us coffees.

    and a week later he dumped me.

    that bastard. i hope he rots in hell.

    but at least i got a very cool pair of sunglasses out of it. everyone loves those sunglasses.

By _____ on Thursday, February 10, 2000 - 10:10 pm:

    i want to say something about masticating with heavy innuendo about masturbating but i just can't get it together.

    why am i such a poor communicator? sometimes it really bugs me.

By agatha on Thursday, February 10, 2000 - 11:57 pm:

    me, too. anyhow, i thought you were going to be my valentine. wtf.

By _____ on Friday, February 11, 2000 - 12:08 am:

    i'm just talking shit.

    fuck valentine's day. i love you.

    (that oughta work)

By agatha on Friday, February 11, 2000 - 01:40 am:

    you're so goddamn romantic. it really kills me.

By sarah on Friday, February 11, 2000 - 04:36 am:

    that's so touching. i'm verklempt. someone hand me a tissue.

By Markus on Friday, February 11, 2000 - 04:39 pm:

    Into love and out again,
    Thus I went and thus I go.
    Spare your voice, and hold your pen:
    Well and bitterly I know
    All the songs were ever sung,
    All the words were ever said;
    Could it be, when I was young,
    Someone dropped me on my head?

    -- Dorothy Parker

By mistaswine on Friday, February 11, 2000 - 04:42 pm:

    "into love and out again...

    pass the beer nuts."


By Markus on Friday, February 11, 2000 - 05:18 pm:

    OK, here's one for you:

    Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

    -- H.L. Mencken

By Fetidbeaver on Friday, February 11, 2000 - 05:28 pm:

    Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
    What the hell is all that shit for

    People get mushy and start acting queer...
    It is definitely the most annoying day of the year

    This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
    Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupids ass

    I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
    And wear all black for the rest of the week

    Guys act all sweet, but soon it will fade
    For all they are doing is trying to get laid

    The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit
    Because I think love is a crock of shit

    So here's my story...what can I say
    Love bites my ass...fuck Valentines day!


By Markus on Friday, February 11, 2000 - 05:31 pm:

    The Beav himself, I'm guessing.

By mistaswine on Friday, February 11, 2000 - 07:30 pm:

    "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."


    so is schizophrenia.

By Markus on Saturday, February 12, 2000 - 12:23 am:

    Figured you and Mencken would get along.

By semillama on Saturday, February 12, 2000 - 04:21 pm:

    Love is a snowmobile, racing across the tundra. Suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. -Matt Groening

By Isolde on Saturday, February 12, 2000 - 10:28 pm:

    How true.
    I hate Valentines day.

By _____ on Saturday, February 12, 2000 - 11:48 pm:

    god bless the merciful ice weasels.

By sarah on Sunday, February 13, 2000 - 01:33 am:


By Humbert on Sunday, February 13, 2000 - 01:52 am:

    Weasels. I hate'em. Shifty, beady-eyed little marmots. They're always watching, I tell ya. Just staring, soulless little bastards. And then they run up my JC Penny card and leave mocking messages on my podiatrist's answering machine. Damn weasels.

By _____ on Sunday, February 13, 2000 - 02:44 am:



    play scrabble or i'll release humbert and the weasels upon your little paradise.

By Jina on Sunday, February 13, 2000 - 06:02 pm:

    bobo:~$ fortune -m love

    Whatever occurs from love is beyond good and evil.
    --Friedrich Nietzsche

By Patrick on Monday, February 14, 2000 - 12:13 pm:

    i find a pair of chocolate tits and cinnamon cock for valentines pave the way for a most enjoyable day.

By Fb on Monday, February 14, 2000 - 01:30 pm:

By Fb on Monday, February 14, 2000 - 01:33 pm:

    How come this worked when I previewed it but not now...DAM

By Markus on Monday, February 14, 2000 - 01:50 pm:

    Because you've got a break inserted in the middle of the URL somehow. For all you kids trying this at home, edit out the " <BR>" in the location window. You're not missing much.

By sarah on Monday, February 14, 2000 - 11:13 pm:

    what a fucking stupid worthless piece of shit day.

By Isolde on Monday, February 14, 2000 - 11:52 pm:

    Tell me about it. How glad I am I didn't have to go in to work today. No deliveries of flowers, no sweet candies...I hate watching everyone get little gifts...grrmph. Isn't love supposed to be celebrated every day, not with an avalanche of gifts and crap one day a year? Valentines day should be fired. Although Patrick had a good point. Too bad my s/o's out of town.

By J on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 09:19 am:

    I made out like a bandit,he just took me shopping and told me I could get anything I wanted,I got a gold watch,a bunch of clothes,some C.D.,s and a fine dinner,all I got him was a card,now I feel guilty.

By Patrick on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 11:48 am:

    i too made out like bandit. when i came home from the studio, she had a filet mignon dinner, red wine etc layed out...........the house was sparkly and the kitties were frisky. we ate, then she gave me some gifts. first an antique pewter/hardshell glasses case with blue velvet on the inside......and then she gave me a bar of soap, led me to the bathroom. SHe had cleaned the second bathroom, which is mainly used as the kitties bathroom, my film processing room and guest bathroom (i.e. it's not used for practical purposes such as bathing)..........candles and fun time soaps were all layed out. the place was spotless and didn't reek of kitty litter or developer. we bathed, then we did what all married couples was an alright v-day. better than usual.

    Since my wife's BD is right before v-day, she realizes the difficulty on me and takes the opportunity of v-day to show her gratefullness for all i did for her bd.

By Rhiannon on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 01:53 pm:

    That's really nice.

By agatha on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 03:23 pm:

    i got nothing, as i knew i would. regardless, i got dave three cd's and made him dinner. i got cleo two beanie babies.

By Patrick on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 03:26 pm:

    GOD DAMN IT DAVE!!!!!!!!


By J on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 03:31 pm:

    It took me a long time to get the man to buy me anything,not until I almost divorced,shame on you Dave.Why are most men like this?How hard is it to give a card or like Cyst said somewhere a letter,or just some recognition?

By semillama on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 03:58 pm:

    Valentine's Day is Fascism.

By sarah on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 04:33 pm:

    oh llama, don't say such things. you'll make me swoon.

By _____ on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 06:21 pm:

    if trying to ignore contrived holidays (are their any other kind?) is the worst thing i do, i'm doing all right. what's more selfish: resisting participation or insisting on participation?

    shit, j. that's prostitution.

By Patrick on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 06:38 pm:

    yeah yeah yeah, thats all really good on paper and all, but the whole point is to take a little extra time and make someone close happy. remind them. so yes while the rest of the world flutters to jewlery shops and hallmark shops at least take a minute, an extra minute thatis. No one profits from that extra other than you and her. i understand not wanting to adhere to whims and demands of the greeting card industry, but make your girl happy. and if that means taking an extra* minute to rub her back, buy her a fucking nestle bar, cook for her, write her a poem using only words that start with the letters in her name, hell just taking out the trash, or watching the little one for an extra half hour so she can take an extra long carp, by all means do it. Women can be some of the most amazingly loyal creatures on the earth, i suspect agatha is no different, so The way i see it, these little things are the things that add up. My wife said to me as we played like school kids in the bathtub last night that this would probably be a nite she would remember for ever. If it takes a world idiots and a few greeting card companies to create that for me and her on Feb 14th every year, fuck it, what do i care. There are enough memories throughout the rest of the year to keep me from feeling like V-Day is a contrived day of pseudo emotions, whats one more memory. Whats one more excuse to love someone. Somethings are just a waste of time politicizing.

    whatever, sorry dave, didn't mean to give ya all that.

By _____ on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 06:50 pm:

    i guess you're more romantic than i am. i can live with that.

By Patrick on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 07:02 pm:

    i cannot deny that. the thing is. i have stood where you stood. And I saw where it got me. I saw the disapointment in her face. Regardless of how or why these contrived holidays were created, most of us have socialized with them. V-Day in school was a big deal, remember? There were genuine emotions when you only turned up one card in your box and it said "Choo Choo Choose ME" (ok sorry had to do it) and it came from a some one you suspect patronized you......In otherwords, its not going away and it was here long before you. Now you can participate on a very personal level without compromising yourself, because ultimately it will only effect her, and in the long run you.

    just slap him upside the head once for me agatha, otherwise i am sure he meant well regardless

By cyst on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 07:25 pm:

    what if she had done all that for you last week or next month instead of last night, though, patrick? would that have made it any better or worse?

    there's a sense of duty and expectation about all the sweet stuff that happens on valentine's day. I don't see how it's better than that random kindness and senseless beauty crap.

By Patrick on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 07:51 pm:

    i accept the designation of valentines day, Feb 14th. minus the consumerist aspect. I have never spent alot, if any money on v-day. I spent $1.20 on a seedy porn shop card and .25 on two pieces of candied gentials.

    As far as what she did for me...the gestures would have been received all the same if she had done them on a different day. The fact that is was done on v-day told me she especially wanted to please me, that i had been on her mind all day. She had the day off and she aquired everything necessary to make the evening what it was throughout the day. She enjoyed herself, there was no sense of duty what so every, nor were there any expectations on either of our parts. She wanted to do what she did, it made her happy as well as me. I don't see how this is a bad thing.

    I don't know what you mean by "senseless beauty crap."

    I suppose i agree with your argment more, if she and I were just boyfriend or girlfriend, or even casual fucks. But you know if you get creative about it, it can be fun. We had good time sucking on choclate tits. V-day seems more appropriate for those who have been together longer......and i busted dave's balls simply because it seemed like agatha might have been a little sad about it.

By Dougie on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 08:06 pm:

    Good points, Patrick. I too had a very nice Valentine's, and I realized what an insensitive and selfish fuck I can be sometimes. Seeing her face after a card and flowers, plus a nice restaurant and some nice words letting her know I cared about her were worth it. Puke if you want over the sentimentality, but I enjoyed yesterday.

By Fetidbeaver on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 08:56 pm:

    I want an extra long carp :o)

    if you don't get it go up and read patrick's postings

By cyst on Tuesday, February 15, 2000 - 09:31 pm:

    wow. I can't remember the last time I felt as tired as I do now. and I have to drive to the suburbs tonight.

    sentimentality is great. flowers (tulips, not roses) are nice. etc.

    but I don't know why flowers are better on valentine's day just because they cost more then and just because everyone's coworkers are getting them too.

    I just remembered that one of my favorite presents ever was for valentine's day. he got me a kit-kat klock because he said he remembered we passed one in a shop window months earlier and I had said I'd always wanted one but never could get myself to shell out $40 for it.

    we went to buy double-a batteries for it at the arco station by my apartment. the guy said he only sold them singly, not in packages.

    I laughed and asked him how I could be sure they actually worked. somewhere he found an empty pack with a battery tester. they were good. still, what a huckster. I was very happy and I bought them.

    on the way home we stopped at a park and swang on the swings for a long time.

By Gee on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 01:24 am:

    I didn't have a valentine, but that's okay. I had a nice day. the best Fuzzy Navel's of my entire life at the City Grill.

By sarah on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 03:32 am:

    cyst, did you read my journal or something? i went to buy myself white tulips at the market as a gift to my self on valentines day. tulips are my favorite.

    then what happened? when i was leaving the market parking lot, some old senile fuck ran his minivan into my beachmobile.

    happy fucking valentines day.


    i would like to have a boyfriend who understands the stupidity of a consumeristic Valentine's Day, but who would want to do something romantic anyway. that would make me very happy. sure, just being loved is the most important thing, but sometimes flowers and chocolates are good too.

    or peanut butter, naturally.

By _____ on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 03:58 am:

    fuckit. times like this i'd like to just wink out of existence undetected. special thanks to patrick for being such a goddam perfect example of whatever and st valentine for being whatever the fuck he was, like it matters.

    i'm an asshole.

By J on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 09:48 am:

    Your not an asshole you are just a man,but if you don,t remember Agatha next year then you are an asshole.

By Patrick on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 12:30 pm:

    sorry dave, this is not the first time i have prompted that reaction from other men, especially when i tell how i proposed, which i will spare....sorry, i was pussy-fied as a young boy in a house of three pop to set me straight, just an older bro to beat me and give me the random wedgies...

By semillama on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 12:53 pm:

    Valentine's Day is one more way to ensure the conformity of the masses. You feel bad, you feel different from all the other people who go out and actually act like human beings for once, if you don't participate. Why should this day be any different form any other day in the amount of love and affection you show to your loved one? Valentine's day is the day when it is condoned to show romantic feelings, then the rest of the year it's weird if you do any of the things that you do on valentine's day, like sending flowers and a card to someone's workplace or some such thing. I'm glad I've never had go through the Conspsiracy's ridiculous rituals for this day. I'd rather celebrate Groundhog's day. It has more meaning.

By Patrick on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 01:08 pm:

    you know. i thought about this some more last night, especially your remarks cyst. you have legit point, but i thought perhaps i might throw some insight in this mix that only i or someone else around who has been with the same person for an extended amount of time can offer.

    it seems to me, after being with someone for almost 7 years, you start to appreciate times like v-day and other special days, be it birthdays, holidays, rainy sundays spent in bed, movies ....whatever. After many years with the same person, it's often easy to loose track of your better half, especially on a day to day basis. You have a life other than him or her. Work, traffic, friends, hobbies, reading, pets, children, house cleaning, personal maintanence, (i.e getting your personal R&R) and so's not like we are totally seperated, mentally or physically. We can be but days like v-day are good to make you stop with the chaos, take a second look, remember why you are with this person.....things aren't always peachy, it just can't be. marriage has been the toughest thing i have ever done and the most rewarding. In dave and agatha's case, they have a little one, one more reason to stop, for a minute, smell the roses (figuratively). When you are dating someone for weeks of a few months, the frenzy of new "love" is still there, the offering of flowers and candy and such in a situation like that seems more futile and contrived. Chances are, you are already boffing each other, or at least into some heavy petting on a weekly/daily basis, talking on the phone, bying shit for each other and pissing your best friends off who never see you anymore and so on. But after years of being together, you have to manage and balance the rest of your life, which doesn't always include your sig other........The frenzy of new love never lasts, its impossible, you eventually come back to reality, realize you have other passions, and you have this desire see them to completion. valentines day amongst many other days throuhgout the year, is a great excuse to stop with the day to day chaos and be the new lovers you once were. Create love and passion to carry you through the bad days........

    Does this make sense?

By Patrick on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 01:10 pm:

    it's not weird the rest of the year sem, is it for you? why are you concerned with the masses on valentines day. it's all about you and your lover, right?

By agatha on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 02:19 pm:

    thanks patrick. it makes perfect sense. my point for dave was just that. it could be any day, just as long as i know i am appreciated every now and then. i think he got the message. he probably hates me for bringing this up on the internet, but i guess since he told you all that he was getting some leg last week, any topic has become fair game.

By heather on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 04:36 pm:

    having been with one person for like 10 years (although don't count a few cause i was really young)- i never really managed to coordinate special affections with their 'appropriate' times, christmas, birthdays...etc. i do things when the idea strikes- and if i find something perfect for someone i can never wait until 'present giving time'.

By semillama on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 05:00 pm:

    Valentine's Day for me has always meant being left out. That's probably why I'm so bitter about the whole deal.

By Peaceful Dragon on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 05:59 pm:

    Ahem... You shdn't have felt left out this year Sem.

    Didn't you get the card I sent you? To the tomgreenshow addr.?

By sarah on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 06:02 pm:

    not me. i'm always the center of mass amounts of love and affection on valentine's day. as well large and expensive gifts. yep. every year. mail box overlfowing with love notes and deliveries from secret admirers.

    oh no, wait. i took lsd this morning. pardon me.

By Peaceful Dragon on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 06:15 pm:


    Yous truly got a FABULOUS dinner prepared in her tiny little kitchen w/The Chef's own 2 hands. (He even bought his Traveling Chef's Case w/all these utensils I didn't have that he wd need + a pr. of champagne flutes.) He made me this outrageous lobster & prosciutto thing wrapped in phyllo dough & topped w/boursin cheese. Yum! And a gorgeous salad w/tangerine pieces & walnuts & an orange vinagrette. And chocolate mousse for dessert. And a bottle of Veuve Cliquot/which is my absolute favorite champagne. He even bought a single, perfect calla lily for the table.

    All I got him was a card & a Joni Mitchell CD/becuz I'd played some Joni for him at his place & he really dug her.

    We did dinner on Sun. becuz he was working Mon. But I deeply appreciated the fact the he thought enuf of me after so little time to make a big deal out of Valentine's Day. And this was the 1st time in ages that anyone has acknowledged me on Valentine's Day. So it was even sweeter becuz of that.

    *sigh* I cd fall for this guy like an avalanche if I'm not careful...

By semillama on Wednesday, February 16, 2000 - 08:50 pm:

    I think i just got it today, but I haven't went to check that account yet. I always come here first.

    Thanks for thinking of me R.C.

    I did a page count for my report today - 321 pages so far, w/o any images or appendices of waht not, just text. That's the most I've ever written, and it was all done in the last 3 months. Yikes. No wonder I have been so depleted at the end of the work day. No wonder my posts from work tend to be rather odd and dysfunctinal.

    Wait until I spend all day scanning.

By Gee on Thursday, February 17, 2000 - 02:02 am:

    oh J, I forgot to say thank you to you. =o) You're a good girl.

    as a general comment directed at no one especially: what is the point of hating a day on the calender just because you feel bad? Would you feel any less alone if there was no v-day?

    I can take the day or leave it, but it kind of makes me happy to see other people celebrating the day. sometimes I think I need to be reminded that human beings are not totally bad and loving and being in love is one of those things that helps to redeem them.

By J on Thursday, February 17, 2000 - 02:30 am:

    It,s like this Gee,when the man never got me anything and my girlfriends would call me up to tell me what they got,I would lie and tell them he got me something too.I didn,t really want anything,but when I realized most of the people I knew did then I felt shitty.It is all contrived I guess but still it,s kind of nice.Like I think Agatha was saying,it,s nice to be appreciated any day of the year.

By semillama on Thursday, February 17, 2000 - 01:00 pm:

    Of course you would feel less alone, because you wouldn't have all that commercial Valentine's crap shoved in your face for a month beforehand, and therefor, it wouldn't be such a big reminder of how dreary life is when you spend it alone. Unless you're agoraphobic.

By Gee on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 12:46 am:

    oh. so v-day is the only day of the year when you realize you're alone?

By semillama on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 12:14 pm:

    It's the most consistent from year to year. Lately I've been too mentally tired from work to realize much of anything.

By J on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 12:25 pm:

    When are you ever going to get a break Sem?Those bastards are working you to death.

By semillama on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 01:19 pm:

    I am going to Philly, ostentatiously to attend a conference, but I'm going to treat it more like an all-expense paid vacation. I do have to go to a few paper sessions, but ah well. Things will also get a lot better in the spring, before the field crew gets here, I will be outside a lot, and the entire office is going to take a day off a week to go dig a!

    But that's archaeology for you. For all the time you spend outside playing in the dirt, you have to pay for it by being cooped up all winter writing site reports. (321 pages so far, with images and figures, should come out to close to seven or eight hundred, in at least two volumes.

By Rhiannon on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 01:43 pm:

    Sem, you meant "ostensibly," not "ostentatiously." Though that's pretty funny.

By Rhiannon on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 02:28 pm:

    Excuse me, I should have said "I think you meant to say." That's better.

    I hate it when people tell me what they thought I meant or finish my sentences for me. How do they know what I meant? And they're usually wrong, too...clearly they did *not* know what I meant to say.

    You're probably not as testy as I am, though.

By semillama on Friday, February 18, 2000 - 11:53 pm:

    I always say I meant both.

    I paid good money so I wouldn't have to know what I say anyways.

    Arrcgh! My left contact just rolled up! Excuse me.

By _____ on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 12:21 am:

    will you guys just shut up about it. it's over for another 360 days.

By semillama on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 01:00 am:

    What we should really be concentrating on is St. Paddy's Day. Stay away from the green beer. I wonder if there will be any decent celtic bands coming around Madison for that day...

By _____ on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 01:04 am:

    another "parade of dickheads" holiday. fuck. is death my only hope?

By semillama on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 01:36 am:

    Just wait til Oktoberfest.

    They have alarge building in La Crosse dedicated for that alone. I think I will go this year and crash at afriend's place, so I won't have to drive. I've never been to one.

By Gee on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 03:36 am:

    I can't wait till christmas.

By Isolde on Saturday, February 19, 2000 - 02:53 pm:

    Oktoberfest is always fun...I'll be flying across the Atlantic on St. Patty's day, hopefully enjoying a good in-flight movie. That's something to look forward too. And hopefully there will be no dyed beer.

By J on Monday, February 21, 2000 - 10:59 am:

    Oh shit I just realized I,ll be flying on Saint Patricks day too,that,s about the only day of the year I don,t drink out of respect to my nephew who died that day,hope he won,t hold it against me if I make an exception this one time.

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