jury duty

sorabji.com: What is your definition of hell?: jury duty

By dave. on Thursday, January 31, 2002 - 08:46 pm:

    i have been summoned.

    i'll pause while you regain your composure.

    ok, ready? i guess not.

    here's the rub: i'm gonna call the automated message number on the day i'm supposed to but i'm very inclined toward not filling out and turning in the juror profile attached to the notice. i don't feel like they need to know any of that info. i also believe that they already know that info.

    i think that the most important reason for sending the profile questionnaire is summed up in the last few words of the following line:

    i declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of the state of washington that the foregoing statements are true and correct, AND THAT I ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS SUMMONS. (<-- those words)

    i don't feel comfortable about signing this damn thing.

    whaddaya think?

By droopy on Thursday, January 31, 2002 - 10:09 pm:


By dave. on Thursday, January 31, 2002 - 11:19 pm:

    avoid the power.

    i wanna be the teflon coating on the frying pan of justice.

By agatha on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 12:35 am:


    dave vs the man, part infinity.

By dave. on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 12:50 am:

    shaddup, state worker.

By dave. on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 01:07 am:

    what, you'd prefer i be the drop of astroglide on the sphincter of justice?

    not voluntarily.

By droopy on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 01:11 am:

    i've been summoned for jury duty twice. possibly three times and they all run together, but definitely twice. I don't remember getting a profile questionnaire in the mail - i think i just went to the courthouse and sat in a big room with 50 or 60 other people and filled it out there. all the personal stuff they ask for is stuff i've stopped considering "personal" a long time ago. so i filled it out and then sat there and people watched. every concievable local type is in there - big hair middle age woman, cowboy, businessman, college boy, slacker, punker, well-endowed woman in tight shirt, meek balding guy who wants you to think he's doing his questionnaire but is really watching her out of the corner of his eye, studly dude who wants everyone to know he's checking her out, etc.

    eventually you go into a courtroom for the interviews with the lawyers in the case. i always know what to say to keep from being picked.

By dave. on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 01:22 am:

    'skillet of justice' would have better voiced the feeling i was trying to communicate.

    i hate that i fuck up like that all the time. sure, put me on a jury. deliver someone's fate into my hands. perhaps after i've given my verdict, i'll have a regrets about my decision. won't that be great?

By Cat on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 01:25 am:

    If I was on trial, I'd want Bumfluff on the jury. Especially if it was an insurance salesman I'd killed.

By dave. on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 01:41 am:

    well, if it's decided by an interview with the lawyers, i could easily get myself dismissed. still, i'd much rather be dismissed by post than by proxy.

By droopy on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 02:04 am:

    i don't know what it's like in olympia, but down here it's almost impossible to squirrel out of it unless your last name is bush or bass. but just because you got a summons doesn't mean you're going to be picked. your part of a pool of candidates. i know people who've been summoned several times and never made it past the profile.

    the time i had the interview with the lawyers (which wasn't one on one) was for some insurance case. when they asked me if i had any problems with the insurance industry, i launched into a tirade about all the insurance problems i've ever had. i was eliminated.

By J on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 10:20 am:

    I've been picked for jury duty on a civil case and I went,it lasted a whole week,I got all of 11 bucks a day,5 of that spent on parking.The last time I was summoned I just blew it off,didn't even call.

By sarah on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 10:26 am:

    here's the thing. if i was on trial, i'd want a jury full of daves. i mean, that is, if you bothered to care.

By Nate on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 10:27 am:

    on your profile write, "I've thought before about being on a jury, and when I have I've always concluded that I would adimantly persue the defendant's innocence-- It would be far worse for the karma of my soul to know I had put a person into the penal systems of this nation than it would that I had let a guilty man free."

By patrick on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 12:31 pm:

    dave you pussy. can you at least pretend to be a decent citizen?

    just tell them your employer doesnt give you paid leave for jury duty and you have a family to provide for and need every god damn days worth of pay. Thats how they seperated us initially. The room was pretty much divided into fifths. Those with no paid leave, those with 1 day, 3 days, 5 days and 10 days. They were pretty cool about dismissing right away those with zero paid leave. ME? I wanted to see what it was all about I wanted to get picked. Im glad I aided in getting a cross dressing homosexual hooker back on the streets.

By dave. on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 03:49 pm:

    the first time i was summonned for duty, i wrote some kind of hatemongering crap all over the form and they didn't call me back. this is a different court and the form seems much more sinister which is why i'm just going to ignore it. it mentions that it's a misdemeanor to not call on the date specified so, like i said, i'm gonna call.

    and, i'm in full agreement with sarah. i would definitely want a jury full of myselves if i were on trial.

By J on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 03:59 pm:

    Tell them when you call that you have just had an operation for your piles and it hurts to sit.

By dave. on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 04:44 pm:

    that would be perjury. besides, it's an automated number telling people where and when to report.

By heather on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 05:00 pm:

    i tried to be included in the jury the first time i was called. it was incredibly boring. i spent a lot of time staring at the court reporter who was speaking into a cone- for some reason it really freaked me out.

    it was a guy who sued his insurance company because the wouldn't pay up when his car was 'stolen and set on fire'
    we made the company pay. they sent a really pathetic lawyer to defend themselves and for some reason that really bothered me.

By patrick on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 05:31 pm:

    my case was totally fascinating. the "crime" occured in an area i know well and i was so damn fascinated to see this clean cut 20 something kid go on and on about how he liked dressing as a woman and how he felt pretty and how he wasnt soliciting that undercover cop but merely expressing an interest in him.

By Dougie on Friday, February 1, 2002 - 05:46 pm:

    My cases would've been interesting, had they let me serve. I was on 3 panels, and during voir dire they asked everyone if they had ever been robbed. I had 2 or 3 months prior to that -- went away for Christmas and when I came back, everything in the apartment was gone: suits, coats, clothes, stereo, tv, vcr, wife's jewelery, you name it, they got it. According to the neighbor who was too scared to call the police until after they finished robbing me, they made 2 trips up and down 4 flights. Wouldn't be surprised if they had a big U-Haul outside.

    Anywho, I said that I had been robbed, and was subsequently dismissed from every panel I sat on. And I haven't responded to any of the jury duty summonses I've received since. In the trash can they go. Biggest waste of a week in my life.

    Jury of your peers? How about luck of the draw? Anyways, we've had this discussion.

By boo on Saturday, February 2, 2002 - 10:11 pm:

    you're not comfortable acknowledging that you got the mail? what is the problem? what is sinister about the form?

By The Watcher on Monday, February 4, 2002 - 03:05 pm:

    I have been called three times.

    The first time I sat on three juries. One case involved a man sueing his realestate agent because the county wouldn't let him run his plumbing supply busness from his property. Even though the zoning was right; his driveway was to narrow. He ended up buying ten feet of his neighbors property to comply. He wanted a full refund from the realtor. He lost. He himself had double checked everything with the county directly so he could not claim he had been mislead. The second case was an armed robbery of a local Taco Bell. It took all of ten minutes to settle that one. It's kind of hard to convict someone when the prosecutions key witness says "that is not the guy" and their secondary witness left the scene then came back. The final case involved a will. It was hand written in pencil. It had something erased from it. We were supposed to determine if the will was valid. This case took a little longer. We had one of "those" jurors with us. He argued everything. We argued over whether a bank vice president, one of the wills witnesses, would sign a will written in pencil. We argued, the important issue, if the beenficiary - who had the will in their posestion - could have made the erasure to their benefit. We argued the mental ability of the deceased. All it took was some common scence which this one juror didn't have to much of. Eventually we decided the will was invalid no matter who made the erasuers they invalidated the will.

    Both other times I have been called, I have not been chosen for a jury. I don't think they wanted a federal employee on the panel. Although sitting on a federal jury would have been interesting I was just as glad to be off.


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