|THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).|
This was sent to me by a friend with "no comment" in the "Subject:" line. These sick bastards need some serious retribution.
i'm thinking that site has got to be a joke. Really.
(from, Is Your Daughter Still a Virgin?):
STEP THREE: The "finger-test"
When all else fails, you must resort to the "finger test." This is a time-tested method dating back to the Old Testament. You must (with one eye closed) locate your daughter's "hymen" and verify that it has not been torn.
Before you perform the "finger test," establish to your daughter that what you're doing is for her own good, and that under no circumstances is she to mention the "finger test" to anyone but you. Ever.
AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION: Sex facts to curb her urges
The best way to avoid ever having to resort to these measures is to scare your daughter straight. By informing her of the following facts about sexual relations, you are saving her from a ruined life and also improving the soundness of your own sleep.
1. Sex causes poverty
2. The female orgasm has been known to trigger fatal strokes
3. AIDS can be transmitted through holding hands or telephone conversations
4. Sex is enormously painful for women
5. If you have sex, God will hate you
6. When a man reaches climax, he spontaneously urinates
Damn. I'm somewhat dissapointed.
Oh well, I've still got Capalert!