Deepest, darkest fantasies.. Sex: Deepest, darkest fantasies..

By The King of Romance on Friday, September 11, 1998 - 01:06 am:

    I fantasize that the voices will stop and that she'll give
    me back my tire guage. I fantasize that I'll be cured of
    love and, possibly, hate. I fantasize that you'll stop
    making an ass of yourself in public. I get so embarrassed
    when everyone is staring at us, but you always lay it on a
    little more. Always have to be the "center" of attention...
    the "life" of the "party." I fantasize that I'll die of
    an aneurism while driving across a bridge and my car will
    hit the guard-rail and flip right over it into the rushing
    water below. I fantasize that a school-bus will drive by
    at that very moment and that half the children inside will
    be traumatized and the other half will acquire a thirst
    for mayhem. I fantasize that I'm not the man that I am,
    but someone else....someone taller. I fantasize that we'll
    be talking and you'll actually let me finish a fucking
    sentence. I fantasize that you'll realize how important I
    am to you just before I say, "Darling...this just isn't
    working out. I need space." I fantasize that the rash will
    clear up and my posture will improve. I fantasize that the
    revolution will come and I'll be forced to choose between
    total freedom for all humanity and cable tv. I fantasize
    about kissing you in the dark while you sleep and keeping
    it a secret. I fantasize that I'm not shallow at all, but
    miles deep...and good-looking, too. I fantasize that you'll
    say something nice to me...something other than, "You're
    not THAT fat." I fantasize that I'll live forever and that
    I'll think of you when I'm 357 years old; I'll think of
    your lips, your hair, your eyes...and how hollow and
    inhuman you looked as you lay in that casket, so very many
    years ago. I fantasize that we'll discover a new disease
    together and I'll say, "oh, darling, we should name it after
    you" and you'll say, "no, no, honey, we should name it after
    you" and I'll say, "okay" but when you're not looking,
    I'll pull the old switcheroo and name it after you as a
    surprise. I fantasize that I'm homeless and starving and
    that you'll drop a dollar in my cup as you sprint past me
    on your way to a meeting and neither of us will recognize
    the other. I fantasize that you'll meet Mr. Right and get
    married and have children and live happily, but sometimes,
    in the middle of the night, you'll think of me and feel
    empty and wonder if you made the right decision and you'll
    wish we'd kept in touch, but it's over and done with and
    that's just life, baby. I fantasize that we'll meet when
    we're old and neither of us will say what we're thinking
    and you'll have sad eyes. I fantasize that I can make
    you laugh one more time. I fantasize that I'm not going
    bald and that my gums aren't receding and that my eyesight
    isn't failing. I fantasize that, when the end finally comes
    for us, I'll handle it with dignity and a touch of grace
    and even make a joke or two. I fantasize that it's all
    over, but it's not a fantasy and now I'm just fucked.

By Antigone on Tuesday, September 22, 1998 - 01:58 am:

    Dude. That was cool.

By Hacker on Wednesday, September 23, 1998 - 05:34 pm:

    Not too bad. I can't think of anything quite so awesome yet, but I will work on it.
    What fantasaies??? I really live for those things to happen, matter of fact many of them have.

By HaHa on Thursday, September 24, 1998 - 11:55 am:

    Two thumbs up!!!

    ps If I had a third thumb I'd jam it up s"t"lackers ass until he cried "daddy I told you not to touch me there anymore"

By Lee on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 08:51 am:

    sex up a tree

By Kalli on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 10:25 am:

    mmmmm yummy.

By Jinafishes on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 01:32 pm:

    I always fantasize playing doctor and making a good inspection with my tongue. Not really dark, or deep.

By Waffles on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 03:02 pm:

    cat saliva is good for open wounds

By Jinafishes on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 04:17 pm:


By Nate on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 05:01 pm:

    king of romance - e-mail me.

By Margret on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 07:39 pm:

    No: e-mail ME.

By Margret on Tuesday, August 24, 1999 - 07:41 pm:

    Never mind, I see by viewing source that you already have, at least once.
    Wait, I retract that: e-mail me anyway.

By The King of Romance on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 12:31 pm:

    I have no idea what you're talking about, Margret.
    I've never e-mailed you. I don't know who you are. You must have me confused with someone else.

By Kalli on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 12:38 pm:

    cat saliva is good on salad too.

By J on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 12:54 pm:

    I don,t know it kind of irritates me when I find kitty litter in my taco.

By Jinafishes on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 01:07 pm:

    I knew a kid who would always put a pube in his hamburger after he was halfway done so he could get his money back.

By J on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 02:03 pm:

    A dead bug on the plate after eating most of the food would be the way to go,not that I,d know anything about that.If you can cry on command,you can really have some fun!!!

By Jinafishes on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 02:11 pm:

    Actually that happened to me in Hope, British Columbia. I had just finished eating lasagna when my boyfriend look down and said 'What's that?' I look, and Oh My God, fuck-en shit if it was a dead moth. I lurched back in my chair and just freaked out. Naturally everyone looked at me, I regret so much not yelling that there was a dead bug in my lasagna. Anyhow the waitress came over, took it away and had the fucking gaul to ask if I wanted anything else. I didn't puke, wanted to puke, but the idea of puking just grosses me out.

By J on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 02:30 pm:

    Did they make you pay for that?If so,you should have puked in front of eveyone(they will never see you again).

By Jinafishes on Thursday, August 26, 1999 - 06:26 pm:

    That would have been so cool, and no they didn't, I could never puke on the spot tho, wish I could, maybe it would have ended out to be like the barf o rama from Stand by Me. They definately deserve it anyhow.

By Kalliope on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 06:37 am:

    Moths aren't so's when you find a cicadia in your cheese wiz that you must worry.

By Jinafishes on Friday, August 27, 1999 - 11:10 am:

    You're serious? This happen to you?

By NZAngel on Saturday, August 28, 1999 - 10:19 pm:

    Even dead bugs could only improve cheese wiz

By J on Saturday, August 28, 1999 - 10:40 pm:

    Yea it,s just not natural.

By Nate on Monday, August 30, 1999 - 12:48 pm:


    what would a cheesesteak be without the wiz?

By Severe on Saturday, October 2, 1999 - 02:08 pm:

    I always fantasize about having 3 woman at once. Only they are 14-17 years old. I would sneak into each of there rooms after I broke into there house and bound and gag them. Then I would rip off there cloths and drag them to there father and mothers room and start spanking and abusing there young little bodies. Then I would stick my cock in everyone of them until I was about ready to cum then I would go to the youngest and let it go in her.

By Semillama on Saturday, October 2, 1999 - 03:57 pm:

    holy screaming complexes, batman!

    I fantasize about just holding a girl's hand, I can still remember what thats like...

By Gee on Sunday, October 3, 1999 - 04:33 am:


By Cyst on Sunday, October 3, 1999 - 03:29 pm:

    I once got a fried cockroach with my fried egs and bananas in the mountains of guatemala.

    it was the only "restaurant" in that village. it was actually just some woman's kitchen. she would feed you what she had; there was no choice.

    I was really hungry, but I had enough problem eating fried eggs, let alone with the dirty bug in there.

    if it had been a grasshopper or an aphid or something, I wouldn't have cared. but I hate those dirty shitcrawlers. in with this runny, undercooked, gross, slimy food I wasn't happy about anyway.

    I lost almost 40 pounds on that trip.

By Waffles on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 12:15 pm:

    Cyst, you can't loose 10 lbs and by the way, you have mentioned "porn pics" for money ona few there more that we don't know about??


    How could you keep such secrets from your electronic brothers & sisters.....

    i'm in such a good mood i think i'm gonna intentionally get my pecker caught in my zipper to shake things up

By Waffles on Monday, October 4, 1999 - 12:15 pm:

    scratch that last mean CANCEL that last post

By Green on Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 03:27 am:

    To:severe You have some really fucked up fantasies.Get some fucking help

By J on Saturday, November 18, 2000 - 03:31 am:

    EEEEEWWWWWW! How did I miss this one? What a sick fuck!!!! I'm calling silent witness.

By capt. patrick on Wednesday, March 21, 2001 - 06:30 pm:

    i dont thing got shaken up that day. The only think i can think of that would have put me in a good mood was that it was a day before my 3rd anniversary....


    (spawned after watching the space shuttle land, live last night, which is a rarity unless you are home during the day and watching CNN)

    The shuttle thrust.....can you imagine what it would be like being tossed back in your chair with all that thrust? If thats not sexual, hell if I know what is. Going straight up.....3 main shuttle, one main fuel cell and two supporting fuels cells. Metal cock...penetrates the innocent sky. I'll stop there at the obvious phallic overtures....but the pressures, inside.....upside down, possibly even on your back, relative to the earth that is, strapped down....the pressure your body feels must equate that of 10 normal sized humans on you. Aren't you feeling lucky. For the sake of mankind GO GO GO!

    I desire the heroic status of an astronaut. I want that feeling they must realize after being pummeled back to earth faster than the speed of sound. Can you imagine.....BUMP!! BUMP!!! BANG!!!!!! BUMP!!!! SCREEEEEECHHHH HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! welcome to the planet!!!! Parachute open, up, a condom at the moment its primary duty is fulfilled.

    Imagine what it must feel be sent off the planet. We only dream of it, we only skim the surface of infinity in that jumbo jet to grandmas. Have you ever looked upwards on a plane at your peak altitude? It looks dark. It may be the windows playing tricks on me, but I like to think it's space.

    Imagine what it must to be at the helm of complete chaos. The potential for disaster is so fucking sobering and intoxicating at the same time. Take off AND landings both equal. Taking off you have potential of rocket fuel lighting up like a roman candle. Landing you have the power of gravity pulling you down...each one threatens to tear you to smithereens.

    I watched the shuttle land.....I got chills watching it. It was dark in FL at the time. Apparently a fog rolled in or the clouds were low because until several hundred feet off the ground, you couldn't see the damn thing.... Finally it busted through. You can tell this thing is moving....Im not sure if its equipped with any kind of an air brake system, if not then, the only braking systems are located on the tires, the angle of entry and descent and that parachute pops out the back. It's a big awkward glider. And that's got to be one of the most tense moments.... making sure that fucker hits ground and stays straight. Space shuttle fucker all right.


    Shuttle space fucker seems more appropriate.

    Shuttle space fucker hero!

By Nate on Monday, June 10, 2002 - 11:55 pm:

    that killed this thread. way to go patty.

By J on Tuesday, June 11, 2002 - 01:53 am:

    I'm still calling silent witness.

By patrick on Tuesday, June 11, 2002 - 12:29 pm:

    yeah that was pretty stupid of me. thanks nate.

    i prefer not to read what i wrote yesterday. way to go.

By Friar on Monday, June 28, 2004 - 09:14 pm:

    I didn't see this web sight. I have this fantacy about riding on a motorcycle with a well hung guy. I'm hanging on for dear life and then let my hands move down to his groin. I begin to feel his buldging meat, then unzip his fly and pull out about 10 inches of hot, hard, meat. I massage it until he can't take it any longer. He pulls over into a wooded area, parks the bike and leans up against it. The forces me to go to work on it until he hits utopia. I've never been on a motorcycle before, but I would like to some time.

By patrick on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 02:40 am:

    oh for crying out loud!

By dave. on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 03:40 am:


By dave. on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 03:41 am:


By dave. on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 03:42 am:

    i mean, yeah, out loud!

By dave. on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 03:48 am:

    i dunno.

    mclusky makes me agro. g'night.

By Spider on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 09:50 am:

    To Hell With Good Intentions is a mighty kick in the ass.

By Gee on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 10:27 am:

    I still think it's cute that Sem fantasized about holding a girls hand. did Kazu see that? KAZU?

By sarah on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 10:29 am:

By semillama on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 12:46 pm:

    what is that? a celebration of photos of people drinking?

By Spider on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 12:49 pm:

    That's just weird. It's like 49 filthy metalheads + 1 clean lady.

By sarah on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 02:25 pm:

    what's weirder is that photo shows up all over the internet on completely random web pages.

By semillama on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 03:59 pm:

    that is weird. I recognized it from when you posted it before...

By wisper on Tuesday, June 29, 2004 - 06:03 pm:

    that's amazing. You're in good company, baby!

    I really like the photo in the post below it, with the lightning effects.

By jack on Saturday, March 18, 2006 - 07:34 pm:

    but what about the talking teddy bears?!

By kazu on Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 12:19 pm:

    "I still think it's cute that Sem fantasized
    about holding a girls hand. did Kazu see that?

    I'm not sure how I missed that.

By Antigone on Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 12:32 pm:

    D00d, that's probably the first time I posted "Dude. That was cool." here. That was kewl.

By jack on Sunday, March 19, 2006 - 01:52 pm:


By TBone on Monday, March 20, 2006 - 05:59 pm:


By semillama on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 03:59 pm:


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