Love is just another form of self-abuse


sorabji.com: Sex: Love is just another form of self-abuse
THIS IS A READ-ONLY ARCHIVE FROM THE SORABJI.COM MESSAGE BOARDS (1995-2016).

By
Gary on Friday, June 4, 1999 - 07:23 pm:

    Laying there in the night, you wake and sweat something is well wrong here.

    The face laying in your fucking bed is not the one you want, but you fucked it up, had sex with someone else, then told the girlfriend "I did it since I did not want to force you into having sex".

    She cries she kicks your sorry ass out, honesty is always knowing when to tell the right lies at the right time, but the face laying next to you changes and you see the one person you can never have.

    Having got up and had a drink, it hit's like a hammer "I have to spend the rest of this life seeing the one face I can never have".

    You go back to bed, and you feel empty, lonely and what the fuck is truth when honesty means living alone.


By Bagpuss on Friday, June 4, 1999 - 09:33 pm:

    You grit your teeth, you carry on and when you find another face YOU DON'T FUCK UP.

    Well that's the theory, still looking for the other face myself.

    It seems a LONG time though doesn't it?

    Is hope a blessing or a curse? I'll tell you when I'm dead.


By Gee on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 04:09 am:

    Holy smokes! You're kinda sweet, Bagpuss.

    (Bagpuss?)


By Cyst on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 09:18 am:

    hey, can anyone here explain "vaginal contraceptive film" to me?


By J on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 01:39 pm:

    you should not have told your girlfriend,your lucky you still have your penis.You fucked up,you made a mistake and at least you feel guilty.Everybody makes mistakes,just learn from it.


By Cyst on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 01:56 pm:

    What is VCF?

    VCF is a translucent square of material containing the active ingredient Nonoxynol-9, a widely used highly efficient spermicide. Placed high in the vagina as close as possible to the neck of the womb [cervix], it dissolves into a gel which exerts a powerful contraceptive effect against sperm. It is a potent spermicidal agent used successfully by millions of women. Inserted into the vagina before intercourse it need cause no interruption into the lovemaking. It becomes unnoticeable by either partner. Because VCF is small and unnoticed in use, it can be used discreetly by the woman. VCF dissolves within minutes and maintains its spermicidal action for one hour. It does not run and will not stain. VCF is eventually washed away with the natural body fluids.

    The best source of information on the use of contraceptives is your family physician or family planning clinic.

    How to Use VCF

    1. VCF should always be placed high in the vagina on the cervix. Th efingers should be completely dry before touching VCF.

    2. Insert VCF at least 15 minutes and not more than 1 hour before intercourse.

    3. If more than 1 hour elapses before intercourse takes place, another VCF contraceptive insert should be used. One VCF should be used before each act of intercourse, regardless of the time factor. As with all vaginal contraceptives, douching should be delayed for atleast 6 hours after intercourse.


By Waffleboy on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 06:49 pm:

    oh thats good about the douching part, I had been curious as to exactly how long i should wait after a booty call to help ma'lady clean out...actually, jokes aisde I have never heard of that before, it sounds promising until the have the pill for men, my love has a hard time with the pill and condoms are outta of the question

    walkin the tight rope


By Nate on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 08:08 pm:

    just out of curiousity, how long does typical intercourse go on for? (i figure the females have a better handle on this, since it seems to be mostly male dependant.)

    VCF seems to exist for a fairly tight window.


By Waffleboy on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 08:20 pm:

    good question nate, obviously i can only speak from personal experience but I say at least an hour, anything less and i feel cheap


By Margret on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 08:47 pm:

    Uhhh. I my experience 10 to 15 minutes.

    Sort of, y'know, generically anti-climactic.

    15 minutes is like a fucking miracle.

    I haven't been laid in months, though, by choice.

    Had my ultrasound today. 2-3 days and my dr. will tell me what's what.

    Can I hear halleluia.

    Think it's gonna be the pill. I like the pill anyway, so that's not a bad thing.

    I miss Semillama.


By Sarah on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 09:35 pm:

    i miss him too.


    they put me on the pill for ovarian cysts too margret. the "cure", they said. shut the ovaries down, no cysts. but being on the pill made me psychotic and suidical around month 9 so i dropped out of the program. just be careful. ask about options, do some research on your own. good luck.


    if i'm lucky, the actual sexual penetration part of sex lasts about 15-30 minutes, which to me is just about right. a few times i think i've gone up to 45-50 minutes, but rarely. it's hard work fucking for that long.


    i never heard of VCF before, thanks for the info! sounds like it would be a really good option (if i was fertile).




By Margret on Tuesday, June 8, 1999 - 10:11 pm:

    I was on the pill from 14 to 28 or so for cysts. I don't mind the pill, I made them fuck around to find one that didn't make me psychotic (tri-phasals fucked me so hard emotionally AND physically). So I told them what I would take already and suggested the hysterectomy, and met again with a negative response (god, what the fuck is their attachment to me having all my fucking parts, anyway?). Not that it would help with cycts, per se. Just want it out sometimes. Anyway, Sarah, you magnificent hominid, I got your picture and now I just have to load photoshop and fractal on the frankenmachine, because YOU I cannot do the injustice of a "paint" butch job. Nate and the iguanas, yes. You, no.


By R.C. on Wednesday, June 9, 1999 - 12:52 am:

    15 minute fucks suck.

    It takes longer than that just to wash a car properly.

    There's fucking... then there's getting served --
    i.e. so you ain't looking for seconds.

    In my experience/the longest lays come from taking it slow. (Which ain't to say that quickies are without their charms.) There's lots of stuff you can do btwn initial penetration & the climax.

    That VCF stuff sounds too complicated. Sometimes/you think you're gonna end up in bed in an hour/but it takes longer. Or you thought you cd wait 15 min./but you don't. And I'm sure those little squares of film are expensive. (Does it protect against HIV also?)

    If you can tolerate it/The Pill (the single, consistent dose kind) is great. I was on Ortho Novum 1/50's from Frosh year til I turned 28. 11 yrs. total. (I quit becuz I was approaching 30 & didn't wanna give up smoking. Plus/Herpes & AIDS were out & abt/so I switched to condoms circa 1989). I remember gaining a little (like 7 lbs.) weight during the 1st 2 mos. But after that/I had no problems. It kept my PMS in check & eliminated my cramps. And if I was going away for Spring Break w/my guy & didn't wanna have my period on the beach in Jamaica/I'd take it for 4 or 5 wks. straight -- w/no period & no problems. (That's the best thing abt The Pill -- you can skip menstruating altogether if it's not convenient. But not for too long.) And knowing I didn't have to even think abt getting pregnant made my sex life fabulous. I hope The Pill w/help yr wayward ovary, Margaret.

    But remember -- even on The Pill/ya still gotta use condoms. Promise?


By Waffleboy on Wednesday, June 9, 1999 - 01:06 am:

    my wife's boobs shrunk on the pill and she was mean too, but i have physical problem with condoms, and right now it's hit or miss

    .......any of you folks gettin 15 minutes should be pissed...if i got 15...i would have issues...like RC, a quickie can be good, but in my house their seems to be a tacit 2 to 1 rule....in her favor......she works me that way


By R.C. on Wednesday, June 9, 1999 - 01:28 am:

    I hear ya! She trained you right from Day 1!
    (Be sure & give some tips to yr sons/if you've got any.)


By Margret on Wednesday, June 9, 1999 - 03:06 am:

    I used to be perfectly content with 15 minutes, in the day. I haven't seen 15 minutes in a couple years. And I think my sex drive finally kicked in this year because I'm like "yeah, 15 minutes is fine if yer ready to go 5 minutes later 8 times in a row, baby...and if not, leave me alone, it takes concentration to masturbate!" Hmmm. But I imagine longer periods of the bump bump dance would chafe. Chafe? Did I spell that right? Still, I haven't done it twice in one night in a long assed time, haven't done it 3 times in one night (including the first night) in like 7 years.


By Sarah on Wednesday, June 9, 1999 - 03:28 am:

    margret, you nectar podling! i figured that particular photo would be perfect for your artistic liberties. gimme the full frankenmachine treatment. i'm stoked.


    i think a hysterectomy is a little extreme for cysts, especially to treat fluid cysts (as opposed to tissue cysts). if you're into the pill, more power to ya. i personally think most horomone-based birth control... especially when used as therapy to treat things like acne, cramps, and cysts... is evil in theory and subversive and lazy on the part of the medical community. but, as a professional in the medical industry, i've earned the distrust and paranoia.


    oh. and i don't think love is self abuse if you're loving in the right kind of way.




By Cyst on Wednesday, June 9, 1999 - 04:53 am:

    15 minutes of penetration is fine. god, 50 minutes would start to hurt, I would think.

    anyway, is the sponge available again in the states yet? I've heard it's being re-released, but is it actually available in drugstores yet?

    I think sponges might be safe enough to use as solo contraception on probably non-fertile days. I've been doing a lot of research.


By Margret on Wednesday, June 9, 1999 - 05:01 am:

    I am the straight up condom babe. Started using them in 1985 even though I was on the pill on the advice of a gay friend who didn't want me catching diseases. This while aids was still the "gay flu."
    I will continue to use them regardless of oral contraception because all pregnancies must be cleared through the chemicals first, and because I don't even remember what a naked penis feels like and I don't care.
    Maybe someday I will want to have children.
    Then, THEN, I will go apache,


By Waffleboy on Wednesday, June 9, 1999 - 10:59 am:

    I haven't used a condom in the 5 of the 6 years I have been gettin laid, (wait...let see I am 24 ...18 yeah ok right...) once you have a "steady" soo to speak, condoms are bad bad bad, plus I suffer blood cut off to the nether lands when I wear those damned things, bad bad bad bad ....for me anyway........I guess its a trade off ...45min once/maybe twice a week or 15 min many times a week...YES chafing can be an issue....OUCH!!!!

    ......"with blueberries please"


By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 08:24 am:

    *GASP*

    I cannot understand the draw to condomless sex this day and age. The whole "bareback" movement is very frightening. I can understand if you are in a committed relationship wanting that "last barrier" removed, but let's be realistic folks! If you want to get preggers, then ok. Go for it. But especially in circles where conception isn't a possibility, this sort of behavior is mindboggling considering the possible ramifications.

    Waffleboy, they make extra large condoms now for that exact reason. God forbid the netherlands get cut off!


By Waffleboy on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 10:56 am:

    well Jim I understand your concern, the publication I work for recently did a cover story on barebacking, but since I am neither gay nor cheating on my wife, i figure we are safe. We both are clean. I know they make those things bigger, but they still suck, once you have gone for so so long with out the "jimmybag" its kind of hard to go back.......


By J on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 03:37 pm:

    If you do things right,50 minutes wont hurt a bit,trust me.


By R.C. on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 03:44 pm:

    We do, J.


By Waffleboy on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 03:50 pm:

    whats the longest anyone has had sex....???????

    i think i clocked about 3 hours, but that was aided by certain narcotics that made it possible


By Gee on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 04:50 pm:

    Does the clock stop between orgasms, or do you count the time between the first kiss and the last moan?


By Waffleboy on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 05:40 pm:

    um NO, i count the time from the moment we "get into man...you know....groovin moovin...like a...like a sex machine man.........i wanna get into....can i count it off 'YEAH' can I count it off 'YEAH'......." -JB

    have you ever done an eightball and been with a girl? You might understand how 3 hours can pass without realizing...it is possible and I ain't counting the smoochin, when your are high like that, all you want to do is fuck, foreplay was not on the menu for either of us


By J on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 06:32 pm:

    Was the eightball cocain?


By Waffleboy on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 06:45 pm:

    um yes very much so


By H on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 07:34 pm:

    For the record, Waffleboy's James B. reference is a HUGE COINCIDENCE.

    I am not Waffleboy.

    But I do think he's cool.


By Waffleboy on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 07:45 pm:

    why is that a HUGE COINCIDENCE? and thank you, your are too kind....


By H on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 07:50 pm:

    I was randomly posting lyrics from some of the Godfather's songs under the pseudonym "James B."


    . . . among other things.


    A couple of lengthy mea culpa's followed. As baseball hall of famer George Brett said following his 1980 laser surgery for hemmorhoids, "It's all behind me now."


By Waffleboy on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 07:57 pm:

    i see

    anyone here a hockey fan??


By H on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 08:55 pm:

    Big time. I get to a few Blues games a year. We're getting a minor league team this fall. Depending on how the new job's hours shake out I may sink some flow into season tix. Probably better start a new thread to talk pucks though. I'll keep my eyes open.


By R.C. on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 09:56 pm:

    I remember back in college/I split an 8-ball w/man & had continuous sex (i.e. from 1st kiss to last moan w/out our bodies parting) for abt 5 hrs. But this was after a very long (3 mos.) /clandestine courtship/that involved waiting for winter break so his S.O. wd be away/before we got to drilling. (Yes/R.C. was once a hoochie who slept w/another woman's man. Which is why I know how fucked-up that is.)

    It was divine. I wish I still had that coke connection...


By Drugpervert on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 10:46 pm:

    I'm just reading everyone's stuff and I can tell you we use to get wired on meth and fuck for many hours. In fact the skin would be raw and bleeding on my dick but I'd be on the verge of orgasm and refuse to stop. Many times when I did come I would then try to stand and could not due to muscle spasms and fatigue. I recall looking down and my legs would be purple and my feet black from lack of circulation, It's amazing how you can tune everything out and zero in on one thing when on meth. After one of these binges I could not go to work because my dick would be so raw that it felt like it was on fire or being boiled from merely touching my underwear. My girlfriend would at times bleed from the vagina (not menses) and could not walk without a limp for days. A few times she ended up with severe urinary tract infections. We named these episodes "questing".


By Mala-dicta on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 10:58 pm:

    Tweakers,SUCK!!!!!!


By R.C. on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 11:10 pm:

    What the fuck is a tweaker! I keep seeing that term here/but no one will tell mew hat it means.


By R.C. on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 11:11 pm:

    WHAT the hell is a tweaker? I keep seeing that term here/but no one will tell me what it means.


By Swine on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 11:14 pm:

    relax.

    tweakers are people who do lots of crystal meth.


By Drugpervert on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 11:31 pm:

    Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me. I use to suck and lick pussy on meth until the inside of my mouth would bleed.
    To RC, I'm not trying to be insulting but what is your age and what area do you live? I didn't think that there was anyone out there who didn't know what a "tweaker" is.


By Swine on Thursday, June 10, 1999 - 11:42 pm:

    the term "tweaker" is mostly a west coast thing.

    like meth.


By R.C. on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 01:42 am:

    I'm 38. I live in FL/a transplanted New Yorker. But I've never done meth or hung out w/anyone who did/so I'm definnitely out-of-the-loop.


By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 09:02 am:

    Waffleboy: Gotcha! I actually figured out your marital status in another thread.


By Waffleboy on Friday, June 11, 1999 - 01:05 pm:

    ok great so people understand that it is possible to go that long........Go Stars!!!!!


By J on Saturday, June 12, 1999 - 12:17 pm:

    I thouhgt I told R.C. about tweakers along time ago,somethingabout cutting off heads,and stabbing a kid over a 100 times.


By R.C. on Saturday, June 12, 1999 - 06:45 pm:

    No/you didn't tell me abt it before.
    Believe me/I woulda remembered.


By J on Monday, June 14, 1999 - 11:21 am:

    Well I,m gonna finally spill,I posted on here with my real name Jeannette,something about laughing for 22 years,well I might have been laughing,but that didnt mean I was happy.Out of my 3 kid,s 2 were on meth,they ripped me off,beat me up,and really fucked up their lives,my friends were trying to get me to go on Jerry Springer.And where was my husband?Fucking some slut he met at the health club that he made me go to till I got exercise induced asthma,she was older than me.fat, and my ass would have made her a Sunday face.So was my ex-friend Wendy,and to think I use to tell him how sick I thougt it was that she fucked anyone she worked with.Believe me when I tell you,I took more shit than a toilet,for 19 years,then I left him and took all our importent papers,after my lawyer saw the 10K plan and some of the other investments Mr. always told me we were broke found out we were not had,I was gonna take him to the cleaners.Bottem line,men fuck around cause they can,women do when their ready to leave.We are still married,only cause he really changed his ways,he ever fucks with me again I,m out of here,even if I am fucking the fleet on my front yard I still get half of everything and I,ll have one of his nuts in each of my hands.


By Waffleboy on Monday, June 14, 1999 - 12:29 pm:

    thats really bitter J, not that you don't have valid reasons, or so it seems , but baby, PLEEEZZE, leave de nuts out of it, THEY are innocent, beat his HEAD, not his nuts......(I guess it doesn't help I am in hot water right now, not for cheating or anything but the imagery of my wife in a dream-like state with my nuts in her trembling hands just turns me this a.m.)


By J on Monday, June 14, 1999 - 01:17 pm:

    Bitter?I found a web site called the Book of Bitterness,if I can ever get my spelling and typing down,I,m hooking up with them,I could write a book.


By Gee on Saturday, June 19, 1999 - 04:19 pm:

    Personally, I think it's good for you to express a little bitterness once in a while. I have no logical reasoning behind this, except that now that I've said it I can feel free to bitter my little heart out the next time I feel like it.


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