so, by the way, i'm pregnant Sex: so, by the way, i'm pregnant

Christine on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 03:14 pm:

    and i'm 19. i live in canada, i'm supposed to be starting my first year at guelph university in september. i don't really know how to feel... has anyone else here had a baby at this point in their lives? the father is 29 and my parents have him but he's really responsible and will take care of it a lot, i'm sure. and even if he doesn't, i have a mega-supportive family.. my mom is still at home because i have a young sister and i have a million aunts and cousins.

    i don't know how much a baby will impact my life though... do you think it's possible for me to do one semester at university, take one semester off and then take the summer off to have baby and take care of baby and then continue my education?

    i'm nervous. i'm confused. am i just living in a dream world if i think that i can just have a baby and still continue living a "normal" life? is post secondary education THAT important? i'm just taking a general arts program, nothing special... would it make THAT much of a difference if i have a university degree or not?

    love, christine xox

By Waffleboy on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 03:23 pm:

    ummm..I think this baby will change your life forever, Robert Frost, and The Road Less Travelled type of impact. I do not know what your beliefs are and it doesn't really matter, it's just I see a vicious cycle of negelcted kids in this country, especially amongst the poor, here in LA, i drive down the street daily and I see a woman no older than 21, with like 2-3 kids, usually walking, a baby in the stroller, a kid walking by her side and another sorta of straying behind, she doesn't seem to care that she is walking on a busy road and the kid behind her 20 feet could just wonder around.....right into traffic that is, I think it's horrible, irresponsible, and tragic, I just don't believe that in OUR society it is possible to be mentally fit to raise childern at your age, there is too much to handle these days. I am 24 and even I can't contemplate the thought, my wife is 27 , neither can she. I am glad you have a supportive family, but do not question for a minute that this will NOT be a slight inconvienence in your aspirations. It will change everything, and it's better you are aware of that now....

    does this have anything to do with your former teacher calling you a slut?

By Christine again on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 03:23 pm:

    i meant my parents HATE him, not my parents HAVE him. god, that would put a twist on things.

By Christine on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 03:24 pm:

    actually, it doesn't. but i suppose you can see why that would make my day even WORSE... as if i'm going to confide in her about the baby now.

By J on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 03:36 pm:

    Why do your parents hate him?

By Christine on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 03:51 pm:

    i think because he's a guy. they're very protective. no, probably because he's a lot older than me. although they'd never know his age if my brother didn't tell them.... he looks my age, honestly. they're old fashioned parents.

    i'm going to the doctor RIGHT NOW to get my test results... i already know what i feel, but now it's gonna be official. wish me luck.

By Waffles on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 03:58 pm:

    thats not old fashioned, the mentality of a female 19 year old versus a male 29 year old are too contrasting, again it's amturaity thing, I am not THAT older than you, but so much has happened in the last 5 critical years, they have defined the next 10-20 years of my life, they have set me on a path that is hard to steer from, I am happy with it, by shacking up with a man who is ten years older than you when you are still a teenager, muchless having a baby, seriously alters everything, you should be inm college, having fun, learning and experiecnceing everything you possible can, it's a precious time, and as much as I hate to say it I feel sorry for you and your situation

By Cant Bring Myself To on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 04:00 pm:

    don't like to say this but uh. . . . what were you two thinking? no condoms, nothing? uh. . . it's hard to believe that the problems of the 1960's were not passed down to this 1990 decade with answers and specific warnings. Why do sexual matters have to be re-discovered every generation. Seems like there would be an impression made by the past free-love generation to help us in the following decades. Are you sereious?

By J on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 04:40 pm:

    I had a baby at 19,and I think you should think about this alot,because once you bring a life into this world,your life is never your own.My daughter Heather is shacking up with a 43 year old guy,she will be 21 next month,I think she,s crazy,and I think he,s a perve.My Dad was 9 years older than my mom,he only married her cause she was knocked up with me.If your parents don,t like him it,s probably more than just the age thing.

By FETIDBEAVER on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 06:26 pm:

    A quote comes to mind, Parents ruin the first half of your life and children ruin the second half.
    Seriously though 19 is too young. I had my first child at 27 and I wished I had a few more years without. I had a pysch professor once say "You either think like a child or you think like a parent" I believe his statement because before kids your whole life, whether conscience or not, has been you, you, you. After kids your life becomes less about you and alot of sacrifice for them. I believe that the person who has not had time to experience the world on their own fulfilling the needs of me, me, me will resent the sacrifice that is required as a LOVING parent. If it's not too late I would consider satisfying that natural me, me, me first.

By on Monday, August 2, 1999 - 11:29 pm:


By Sarah on Tuesday, August 3, 1999 - 04:23 am:

    i wish i was dating someone who is at least 40. i'm 28.

    the baby will change your life. but you can still go to school too. jeez, good luck.

By Semillama on Tuesday, August 3, 1999 - 06:56 pm:

    wait a minute here - let's get this straight, ok? unwed 19 year old girl -pregnant, high school education. No mention of job, but if she's going to school for general arts, she probabaly doesn't have a good one. no good job, probably no insurance. No insurance the guy won't freak out and disappear. No mention of how willing the immediate family will be to sacrifice for the grandkid.

    No offence, christine, but it sounds to me like you really haven't thought this all the way through. Which means all the way through the kid's education, which might end up being until he/she's 26 or older. are you going to be able to financially support this kid as well as emotionally? Are you ready to sink about $200,000 into this child's life, none of which comes back? not to mention paying for an education for your self at the same time. What kind of life do you want your children to have? Can you provide that lifestyle for them realistically right now?

    Fianlly and most deadly serious: Have you considered adoption? Giving a child up for adoption because you aren't ready to take care of it is no shame, it's an act of deepest conviction and courage. Why make your and the kid's life more difficult than if you had the financial base to start a family?

    I'm not accusing anyone of making a bad choice, I just worry about people who dive into things like this without really knowing what they are getting into. I have seen too much sorrow come from unplanned pregnancies to remain mute. I have seen joy as well, but the sources of sorrow cast shadows over every such moment I have observed.

    whatever you do, think it through. Talk to a counselor, it will do you a world of good.

By Beep on Saturday, August 7, 1999 - 03:46 am:

    The importence of a college education these days is priceless. If you wait, you will be able to better support kids when you have them with the extra income you will get with a college degree,
    and provide a better life for your child. The fact that you are having second thoughts about this should also clue you that its not exactly the best thing you can do. Take care, whatever you decide.

By Whos perfect anyways on Wednesday, November 27, 2002 - 03:33 pm:

    First to Semillama:
    Because she's going into arts you think she won't get a good job, who the hell are you to say a damn thing. Obviously you are not educated in the least to think that someone going into arts at university is going nowhere. Get a clue!
    Christine: you'll be fine whatever decision you make. Sometimes, even if you do protect yourself things happen, and you can't control that. It is a tough decision and i think your plan of doing a term is great, take the time off, as long as your man will support your decision and be there, and go back to school next fall. Don't know where you're from but Durham College has great university courses you can take through them, or even do distance education!
    You'll figure it out!
    U of Waterloo neighbour

By wisper on Wednesday, November 27, 2002 - 04:02 pm:

    buddy, that girl posted 3 years ago.

    it's a little late.

    although i commend you for trying.

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