my new ambition: to be a slut, a whore, a prostitute, a name it! Sex: my new ambition: to be a slut, a whore, a prostitute, a name it!

By Pez on Tuesday, August 22, 2000 - 01:52 pm:


    i can hardly walk out of the house unless i feel that i look gorgeous.

    i'm not fat either. i'm the only one that can squeeze behind the roll racks at work, and i'm the tallest.


    maybe i'm too desperate. maybe i'm too cold. maybe i'm too afraid.

    but shit. i can feel the eyes of attractive, mature guys watching me. i even got a guy i saw in a restaurant to call me...but then he disppeared off the face of the earth.

    oh well.

    i know that a notorious player at work has his eye on me. maybe that's where my pride comes from. i love knowing i look good and knowing others know it too.

    i'd just like to go out with a guy who's not gay or ugly. i hate ugly. it makes me want to throw up.

    cute guys make me itch in weird places.

    that's it. i better get off.

    i nned to put on my tinkerbell t-shirt and take my little sister shopping.

By semillama on Tuesday, August 22, 2000 - 07:33 pm:

    but ugly men are the best lovers, didn't you know that?

By Isolde on Tuesday, August 22, 2000 - 08:10 pm:

    They are.

By Cat on Tuesday, August 22, 2000 - 08:20 pm:

    You can find beauty in anyone you love. If you love their mind, you suddenly find that bump in their huge nose strangely attractive and incredibly sexy.

By Isolde on Tuesday, August 22, 2000 - 08:31 pm:

    No, I didn't say "no one is ugly," I affirmed that ugly men are the best lovers.

By Pez on Wednesday, August 23, 2000 - 12:59 am:

    i thought my last boyfriend was cute when we started dating. heck, someone thought he was my brother.

    he didn't know how to shave and i don't know if he ever brushed his teeth.

    and he didn't dance. that was the big thing. i love dancing and he wouldn't. at all.

    i think it was his mannerisms. he was so polite. but after a while i realized that he didn't really have a life. his only friend was dating my best friend and when we went to a party once and i fell asleep, he just sat around and read a book.

    he was ugly and had no personality. he turned mean after i finally made sure he knew i didn't like him anymore.

    he sent me flowers for my birthday a month after i dumped him. i told him to destroy the disk he had of my poetry, but as far as i know, he still hasn't.

    i'm happy to know that there's no guarantees that i'll ever see him again.


By Kymical on Wednesday, August 23, 2000 - 11:34 am:

    this girl's view.
    i am somewhat biased, because i am obsessed with men in general.
    i think that dorky guys are sexy. i think that ugly guys (defining ugly as one eye swollen shut, and akin to the elephant man.) would probably be very very good in bed. i mean i bet they are the type guys who once they get their hands on a girl, they are liable to put her head through the wall. yowza!
    why don't i know for sure? because there is some sort of flaw. more so with dorky guys. they are looking for that Uma, or a Naomi, or some superstar look alike, who probably wouldn't give them the time of day. while i, the slightly psychotic looking black girl with highly perverted tendancies, wait in the corner.

    let's review:
    ugly guys, good in bed.
    dorky guys, picky.

By Pez on Wednesday, August 23, 2000 - 01:59 pm:

    yes, but often those dorky guys are dateless losers just like us.

    example: nick from the shoe department at mervyn's.

    16. a braggart. says outgreageous things and likes poekmon.

    if i started to flirt with him, he'd get scared and call me a witch.

    but that could be 'cause he's young. it happens.

    why is it that in the movies everything is easier? even the bitch gets to go to the prom. but not me.

    erg. sorry. i needed to vent.

By Kymical on Wednesday, August 23, 2000 - 06:19 pm:

    or that guy who thinks you are the coolest, and you think "oh yeah, mac is on the way." doin' the little dance.
    and then they think that because you are so cool. you would make a perfect sounding board for asking girls out.

    in the movies it is so much better, because usually the only girl he wants to ask out is you and it is all so wonderful and sarah mcglaughlin music comes on....blah blah blah.
    but in real life he is trying to get some untouchable cheerleader to notice him. and hope that her current 40 boyfriends don't kick his ass.

    let's get drunk and vent together!!!

By dave. on Wednesday, August 23, 2000 - 10:18 pm:

    in the movies, it's better because they pay someone to write what they think are witty, poignant dialogues and hire pretty types to say them in a special way while the lighting and the makeup are just so. no one ever has those kind of carefully scripted experiences in real life. except maybe cyst.

By Pez on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 03:44 am:

    i remember one of my friends was asked to the prom by the guy who did the morning announcements. during the morning announcements. in a poem.

    i'd love to have a movie moment like that. but i didn't go to prom. didn't have anyone to go with.

    the best i can do is "attention shoppers: would anges and bob come to the shoe department? thank you."

By Zephyr on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 12:24 pm:

    I'm a bit of a dorky guy, and yes, I am picky...but in a funky way. I usually don't like the people everyone else's a quirky habit of mine. It also gets me called a freak.

    And yeah. The person I'm seeing now is truly awesome...her personality is the best (and no asking out or anything, we kinda just started making out while watching a movie at her house, and it went from there) and shes really pretty but her musical taste could use some work. I'm quite anal about music.
    I hate phish and dave matthews band et al.


    I need to go take a fucking shower.

By Pez on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 01:24 pm:


    my parents would freak if i had one of my guy friends over. they're so anal about everything.

    i'm thinking of having a halloween party. i didn't have a birthday party last year, so a halloween party would be fun. and my parents can't say anything against it.

    i think i'll be tinkerbell.

By Trace on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 01:27 pm:

    I want a picture of you dressed as tinkerbell!

By Zephyr on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 01:31 pm:

    Trace, you're married. And a fucking perv.

    Go jack off to some porn or something.

By Bell_jar on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 02:08 pm:

    i've been withholding judgement, but i feel that i can no longer do it.

    "i hate ugly. it makes me want to throw up."

    my judgement: you are an ass.

    i'm young, but it didn't take me long to see the absolute beauty in people. i have yet to meet someone who does not have an aspect to them that is completely breath-takingly beautiful.

    i recall a night when a very beautiful brazilian woman came into my room (i lived in a scholarship hall with 50 other women) and told a tale of her boyfriend going off with another woman. she was baffled because the woman was less attractive than her, all she could say was, "but she was so ugly!" i had never seen this beautiful brazilian woman look so unattractive as when she was louding proclaiming her superior beauty.

    i have no doubt that you are an attractive young woman pez, but while reading your intial post i felt the same as i did when the beautiful girl was baffled.

By TBone on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 02:57 pm:

    I'm with you Bell.

    It makes you sould shockingly shallow, Pez.

    Those words take me back to high-school (or worse, junior-high) where the people who said such things considered me to be of such inferior stuff that it was painful to be near me or to look upon me.

    One of the things that makes this place so great for me is that we're completely text based. Our beauty/ugliness is judged without knowing how tall we are or how big our noses are, or how fat we are.

    Except when we send each other pictures of our asses, but that's different.

    Just so you know, Pez. I really like you when you're not talking about guys and how you/others look and whatnot. I believe the creative side of you that's showing some of your intelligence is what's attracting the drooling from some certain sorabji regulars. That should tell you something.

By Z on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 04:44 pm:

    Rock on, tbone!

By semillama on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 04:57 pm:

    Don't take this the wrong way , Zephyr, but I thought you were gay? Not that I give a shit, but I don't want to confuse you in my head when I read you with someone else. Heck, someone here (I forget who) thought I was a woman for a while. Must be my sensitivity.

    Anyway, i had something relevant to say, but forgot it.

    Oh, it was to PEz: We certainly aren't drooling ver what you look like, because we don't have a clue to that.

    Actually, no offense, but I'm not drooling over you. Too young.

By patrick on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 05:10 pm:

    trace is married?


By Cat on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 05:14 pm:

    Does this mean I don't get to have his babies?

    Double damn!

By Tired on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 06:08 pm:

    I thought you were female. semillama ends in a, spanish class. And as for all people having beautiful aspects, I dunno. Back in high school, I used to think a lot of people were worthless. "Waste of oxygen" is the term I used. Now I'm a little more open-minded, but on the other hand, I'm not forced to interact with a random sample of people within a year of age of me and living in the same school district, so maybe there are worthless people and I just find it easier to weed them out now. Or maybe Bell_jar is right.

By Mavis on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 06:09 pm:

    triple damn, hell!

By Cat on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 06:42 pm:

    Speaking of gender...Hey Antithesis, are you male or female?

By Antithesis on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 08:02 pm:

    I haven't decided yet. Let's take a vote and see what the people want me to be?

    Oh. Sorry if I've been drooling over Pez... er. hrm. Sorry if my drooling over Pez annoys people? I really try to drool over Bell_jar and Cat, too. And Patrick. One of my good friends is this incredibly hot guy named Patrick who reminds me alot of sorabji Patrick, only "my" Pat is a little bit more feminine. Anyhow. I'm so used to drooling over him that it sorta flows over, and I find myself writing these faux horny notes to Patrick here and then slapping myself. *sigh* There'r just too many drool-worthy people here for me to get too in time. I need some help. Anybody? Trace, siddown.

    I think that Isolde and I are meaner to each other here than we are IRL. Strange. I think I'll lick her next time I see her to remind her that she really doesn't *want* me drooling all over her.

    well said, Bell_jar, about the absolute beauty in people. Well said, indeed.

By patrick on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 08:11 pm:

    ive been called feminine on more than one instance in my life. im lanky, i ve got chick hips, i was raised almost entirely with no father figure, i've been known to demonstrate bisexual inklings and my wrist goes limp at the sight of a killer sale.......

    oh and i also make long exgerated pronounctaions of names of pfriends when i havet seen them in a long time.

    i welcome your faux horny notes

By Isolde on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 08:25 pm:

    Our Pat looks so hot in a dress...DAMN! Anti and I are mean to each other all the time. And you're damn lucky you didn't lick me, you little punkass! Alright. I'll stop.
    I want a picture of Pez dressed as tinkerbell. I can't wait to get hammered tommorrow.

By Cat on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 08:37 pm: can be whatever you want, Love Bunny. I think I'm going to pretend you're a gal today.

    Ever since drooling was mentioned, I've been thinking of how I love to flirt subtly on here.

    Patrick is irresistibly flirty, Mavis is up there too, Nate a bit if sometimes a tad scary, and I think I've done some lines with Dougie or was it Droopy? I try Antigone but he plays hard to get. I don't flirt with Sem, though I like him, because I reckon he'd think I was a bloody idiot.

    Anyway, my point is I'm a bloody hypocrite cause every time Trace says something flirty, I get the major creeps.

    But maybe my flirtiness pisses people off too. So I'm going to restrict it except on excruciatingly blue sky days when I just can't help myself.

By Isolde on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 08:44 pm:

    That, and if you flirt with my bloke, I'll knock your block off.

By patrick on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 08:46 pm:

    i can't imagine your flirtiness could piss anyone off ....what a travesty!!!!!!!!

    i find slobber, drool and general suckling gets my wife off the phone in seconds.......

    ".......ewwwwww he's suckling on my arm.......i gotta run as he won't get off.."

By Cat on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 08:54 pm:

    Isolde, you gotta learn to share your toys. But I'm glad you're learning my language.

    Since I can't flirt with Anti...Have I mentioned lately that you have really pretty sentences and I love the way you phrase those threats?

By Isolde on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 08:56 pm:

    Nope, you haven't. *preens herself*

By Antithesis on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 08:59 pm:

    I love the subtle flirting here. You guys rock. *group hug / grope*

    right. I don't think it's hypocritical, really. Most of the flirt vibes here are, well, totally happy. Occasionally, some are "married yet lusting after hot 17-year-old ass in a creepy manner" vibes. I expect if I ever start exuding that sort of aura, you will all smack me. Good.

    God DAMN. when did it become 6pm? I took my lunch break at 3... they're gonna kick my ass, tomorrow.

By Isolde on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 09:00 pm:

    You're still at home? What the hell.

By Antithesis on Thursday, August 24, 2000 - 09:08 pm:

    NO MORE POSTING FOR ME. ME GO WORK NOW. if I'm back on sorabji before midnight tonight, someone should come over and KICK MY ASS. I hate over-posting.

By Pez the hunter on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 12:02 am:

    sorry if i am a bit shallow sometimes. but if i feel that i look good, i feel good.

    maybe not good, but smug.

    i didn't put on any makeup all day. just deoderant. and my hair is a mess because my little sister was playing with it.

    oh well.

    i want to go camping with a bunch of friends some weekend and play cowboys and indians.

    i wanna be an indian. facepaint and feathers.

By Isolde on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 12:03 am:

    I reject my indian heritage. The damn Bureau wouldn't give me a scholarship when I asked.

By Antithesis on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 05:21 am:

    Capitalist Pig.

    Pez, friend, go ahead and be "shallow" (whatever that means) if it works for you. and when it stops working, stop doing it. If playing the "indian" works for you; do that.

    (Close your eye's, Isolde, 'cause I know you hate hearing this.)

    Follow the dictates of your soul. That's the only universal rule, in my universe. Do what you feel called to do.

By Zephyr on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 11:04 am:

    No, semi...I'm bi! haha!
    I love the flirting here. Although I only flirt with mavis, I think. cat, you're damnably fun. and patrick...sigh...if you weren't married...
    and pilate is an amazing fellow, too...
    i better shut up now and take a shower.

By Pez... on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 11:46 am:

    i know that my shallowness is a bit irritating, so i'm trying to stop.

    beesides, i really don't want to be shallow. sometimes i just get a little excited...ok, hyper.

    i'm really not that used to feeling beautiful, so i'm going through changes right now.

    eat me! and read the "food is erotic" thread.

By Mavis on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 11:47 am:

    did you get a photoblaster yet?

By patrick on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 11:58 am:

    you are only 18 pez, things will simmer down soon enough.

    when i was 19 i met my now wife. she showed me things i never knew possible, she was older, she bought me beer.

    in reality, this is the part where someone either starts collecting car keys or produces a bottle of corn oil and Twister..........

By Z on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 02:36 pm:

    No my bike is ooc and I cant get a ride to kmart. Oh. and I'm broke.

By Kymical on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 03:00 pm:

    am i so untouchable that no one likes to flirt with me?

    i am a soft, sensitive flower.

    maybe it is my new hair cut, or perhaps my somewhat masculine tendancies. my intellect, i hope not. my rapier wit, perhaps.

    the fact that i have big boobies.

    or perhaps just that i want it too badly.

    (sigh) it is so lonely at the top.

By TBone on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 03:06 pm:

    Hey, baby. Three things: You, me, and a stick of butter. C'mon.

By Kymical on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 06:24 pm:

    you're fine, i'm fine, get the picture?

By Pez on Friday, August 25, 2000 - 09:25 pm:


    sorry. stop saying it's ok for me to be shallow when i'm trying to stop!!!!

    maybe i'll just flirt and then ask HIM out.

    whoever HIM is.

    i was in the supermarket earlier, test driving my dancing shoes.

    a man in front of me was like "tall girl."

    i raised my foot and said "tall shoes."

By Antithesis on Saturday, August 26, 2000 - 07:55 am:

    I don't like shallow people.

    some of my best friends are shallow people.

    I'm about a foot thick. Shallow? Dense, certainly.

    (and over to the physics thread we go!)

By Isolde on Saturday, August 26, 2000 - 11:29 am:

    Really? I try to phase out the shallow people on my life. They don't notice.

By Bell_jar on Saturday, August 26, 2000 - 02:13 pm:

    someone's trying to drool over me?

    i never catch on to things. i remind myself of homer simpson (in thought... and perhaps appearance too).

    when talking with people on the phone i nod instead of saying yes, like the person on the other end can see it. (in reference to homer's winking as he tells mr. burns over the phone that he's quiting)

    don't try to drool too hard, i am not worth it. :)

By Antithesis on Saturday, August 26, 2000 - 05:03 pm:

    I don't need to try to hard. Drooling comes pretty naturally to me. It gets messy sometimes. Must be all that raisin bran.

By Bell_jar on Sunday, August 27, 2000 - 10:13 am:

    i just got done with a bowl of raisin bran. i'm bored as hell, everyone is asleep.

By Pez on Sunday, August 27, 2000 - 08:37 pm:

    sorry. should've posted last night (or this morning, as my post would've read).

    i went on a slightly impromptu double date with harm (one of my coworkers in shoes), her boyfriend brian (stockrooms, spilled coffee down my back when we were in ap euro together) and his friend jon (brian's best friend who i've seen around on occasion).

    it didn't take much to figure out that brian wanted to set me up with jon. as in i called harm and asked her about it. she said yes.

    went bowling, and i was the only one who broke 70. ended up at 121. wanted to break 130, but i got gutterballs for my last frame.

    then we walked around downtown for an hour and a half and then i drove harm and brian back to freddy's and took jon home.

    nice guy. likes to read, graduated a year early 'cause they wouldn't let him into ap euro. has the same taste in music as me, so that's definately a plus...i'd hate it if i got set up with a guy who like the spice girls or some other girl group from hell.

    we exchanged phone numbers, and he said he'd call me.

    maybe i'll surprise him.

By Antithesis on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 05:00 am:

    I have nothing but raisin bran in my cupboard. My mother *weird* brought me three boxes. hm.

    right. not even going to touch the pezzesses post. getting jealous already, wot?

By Zephyr on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 04:16 pm:

    I'm at the library again.

    that girl I had some momentary eye contact with like 2 weeks ago appearantly works here.

    I really want to talk to her, get to know her, know!

    But I'm so damn nervous. And prolly not, like, attractive enough for her...

    I think that everyone thinks that they aren't beautiful enough, prolly why Im so indignant when people say i'm hot.


    fucking beowulf.
    Why is it sooooooooooo long?
    I'm just trying to grab some worthwhile quotes, and it's such a pain in the ass.


    oh wait...

    I actually have to do well this year, so, like, I could get into a good college.

    I hope.

    Oh well.

    I don't really want to talk about anything today. I'm kinda uninspired.

    Swine, I can't find any bad brains or the social distortions song you want just yet, you mind if I send you the tape a bit late?

By Isolde on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 04:20 pm:

    Beowulf rocks.

By Z on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 05:02 pm:

    I know.

    But not when you aren't in a literary mood.

By Isolde on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 05:07 pm:

    Maybe you should read "Z," since you're adopting his name.

By semillama on Tuesday, August 29, 2000 - 08:18 pm:

    swine has no room to complain about sending things late
    he knows good things come to those who

By Bell_jar on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 12:27 am:

    i hate to break it to you zephyr, but it matters not how well you do in high school. it is all about the ACT or SAT. I was valedictorian of my class and only got mid twenties on my ACT.

    it's all a big lie. no one gives a fuck about high school after high school. my advice is don't bother. skip school, go to school high. just don't put any effort into it or you'll be disappointed.

By TBone on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 12:50 pm:

    She's right. I, conversely, barely graduated, but got a 32 on my ACT.

By semillama on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 01:51 pm:

    Totally. So many people go to college nowadays, the ACT/SAT scores are about the only way admission people can tell'em apart now.

    But I am just making that up. How does it work at Elite Liberal schools, Mavis?

By Mavis on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 03:08 pm:

    uh, it'a a combination of sat scores, grades, and willingness to read a lot and get excited about academia. at reed, it's more about "hey are you the genius kid with lime green hair who got into harvard but were always picked last for gym?"
    it's a great place if you have the money or can get aid...

By crimson on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 05:19 pm:

    i was in an academic honors program that made the decision one year to stop recruiting for talent & intellectual accomplishment, & start recruiting for ACT scores, instead.

    the result was a complete gaggle of morons...i mean, STUPID fucking people, clogging up the program for years on end (the college president believed in ACT scores & didn't want the honors college to turn back).

    getting a high score on the ACT apparently doesn't mean jack shit. i've never seen such a cluster of neurotic, clueless, out-of-control twits as that room full of ACT wizards. many of them dropped out of college in the first semester, unable to cope w/ life away from mommy & daddy. almost all of them were rich kids, spoiled as fuck, totally freaked out by college. all they ever seemed to do was sit around talking about how great they'd been in high school, while conversely refusing to study in the public library because it was "beneath their dignity".

    i know there are high scorers who are perfectly fine & well-adjusted people, but for some reason, that was just an insane experiment to watch. i scored high enough to get a scholarship, but not high enough to be included in that "elite" group (thank god i had slipped in under the door a couple of years earlier, when silly shit like achievement & excellence used to count).

By crimson on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 05:51 pm:

    but i used to have fun trying to seduce the high-ACT kiddies. you'd think that a young man who just hit college would be perfectly happy to get laid. instead, they'd nearly cry (several of them DID cry), saying they "didn't feel safe" being propositioned...that their parents wouldn't approve. should've seen their faces when i went one step further & tried to recruit them as male whores. what college kid wouldn't jump at the chance to be a paid stud? well, apparently, a lot of the ACT geniuses wouldn't. they usually got on their moral high horse about the whole thing.

    the real fun came when pilate popped back up on the scene (we went to the same college for a while)...he'd proposition them & end up traumatizing them for life. pilate, ever the master of subtlety, used to totally freak the kiddies out, after which we'd have a rip-roaring good laugh.

    pilate, incidentally, had GREAT standardized test scores. hmmm....

By Tired on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 05:52 pm:

    Um, GPA is just as simple of a statistic as SAT for colleges who admit several thousand students. At least where I ended up, the rough formula for admission depended on both. Other than that, yeah, after high school nobody cares about what you did in high school.

By TBone on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 06:23 pm:

    I'd have been all over that, crimson... Damn. Paid stud, hell yeah.

    Morals be damned!

By Isolde on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 06:40 pm:

    My SAT scores were horrible. It's embarassing.

By crimson on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 06:59 pm:

    as an undergrad, i was trying to run a bordello out of my apartment. i just couldn't get enough whores...i mean, whores of any significant quality or expertise in their chosen profession. especially males. go figure. i wanted to get a pool of studs together, both gay & straight. i did pimp some people, but never got the full 24-7 whorehouse going that i'd dreamed about since my childhood. i worked in a whorehouse once when i was young, but i wasn't a whore. i did a dominatrix gig. the "madam" was a gay guy, very young & beautiful. i used to beat the crap out of guys, but not screw them. they'd want me to dress up like a nun, a teacher, shit like that. one old guy wanted me to dress in a nazi uniform. i was the only person in the place that could fit into it, so i got the gig. i was supposed to bark orders at him in german & whip him while dressed like a freakin' nazi.

    hey, it's a living.

By Isolde on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 07:02 pm:

    Hmm...I like this idea. Maybe I should runa bordello once I move. That would be fun.

By J on Thursday, August 31, 2000 - 12:53 am:

    I didn't do so well in school,so bad in fact that in 7th grade I had to see the school shrink,funny,I scored very high on the I.Q. test,some teachers were fired,but not my math teacher Mr.Boyd,he had too much tenure,what an asshole.

By Pez on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 03:33 am:

    my aunt and uncle live about a block from reed. i've gone to some seminars there.

    jon drenner is an asshole. i made out with him, let him fucking take off my shirt, and he DOESN'T CALL. cute. real cute.

    one valdictorian and n.m.s. at my school took the sat 16 times.

    i took it once. i really don't care. my grades were shit anyway.

    i had a shrink tested me once. i'm supposed to be some sort of fucking genius.

    anyway. my parents think i'm stupid. the whole world thinks i'm stupid. damn adhd.

    i wouldn't be surprised if jon thinks i'm stupid. he certainly takes me for granted. and i can't do anything because he doesn't call me and i can't read him. usually i can read everybody. but i can't read him.

By Bell_jar on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 08:43 am:

    standardized tests are biased.

    only completely off the charts poor kids do well, and all rich kids regardless of their intellegence.

    damn me. i'm severely oppressed.

    of course, i make this statement because i didn't do unusually well on them.

By Nate on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 10:48 am:

    "hi, i wasn't delt the hand i desire in life so i'm oppressed."

    this victim society is really tiresome.

By Jay on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 11:05 am:

    yeah, blame it on the white man. motherfuckers.

By Trace on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 11:17 am:

    *starts bringing in the cage and whips*

By Isolde on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 12:38 pm:

    Help, help, I"m being repressed!
    I just watched that movie last night. Funny shit.

By Pez on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 01:32 pm:


By Tired on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 04:03 pm:

    Um, all rich kids do well? The questions are about yachts and caviar? Dubya got a 1600? Boston U is filled with kids who just didn't like Harvard as much? I agree the tests are generally useless, but this was just too much.

By semillama on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 08:34 pm:

    Fuckin-A, Pez, kick that guy to the curb already! All he wants is to get in your pants.

    Tkae Cyst's advice and make it clear to him you don't need him to make you happy and if he doesn't treat you with respect, he can get lost.

    Then go hook a poor shy guy out of the corner and make him happy.

By Bell_jar on Tuesday, September 5, 2000 - 11:42 pm:

    i'm in a particularly bitchy mood at the moment, so you are all subject to my wrath. i just spent the day with women inmates (i will be spending 3 days a week with these women for the next nine months), and i'm particularly pissed off at white men, all men, and persons with opportunities.

    "this victim society is really tiresome." - you're telling me. i do agree in personal accountability, but i also believe that these women, many women, especially minority women are fucked over before they even begin life. sure it gets tiresome for you, and you're in the fucking majority.

    "The questions are about yachts and caviar? Dubya got a 1600? Boston U is filled with kids who just didn't like Harvard as much? I agree the tests are generally useless, but this was just too much."

    when did i talk about questions of yachts and caviar? remind me tired, please.

    argh!! it's just one of those days. i should go to the afraid of men thread to voice my frustrations. i'm a social welfare major, and i've been reading all of these books about disadvantaged persons, it gets all too overwhelming.

    if only people cared.

By Isolde on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 12:03 am:

    Why are you spending time with women inmates?

By Bell_jar on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 12:15 am:

    i'm doing an internship. i do group therapy sessions and the such.

By Isolde on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 12:19 am:

    Indeed. That must be, as you said, really hard sometimes.

By Pez on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 12:38 am:

    he wanted to strip down to underwear. i wouldn't let him.

    i'm going to set him loose. if i can reach him. what i really want to do is learn kung fu and kick his ass.

    foot pains never felt so good.

By Gee on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 01:36 am:

    you're a pretty good egg, Pez. what did you call yourself before "Pez"? I can't remember.

    anyway, the situation isn't a total loss. you've learned a good lesson. next time don't let anyone use you unless you're using them back. and don't let Jon know you're so angry. That might seem stupid, but if I were in your situation it would be really important to me that he not know how much of an affect he had on me.

    I also really like the idea of hooking a shy boy.

By Nate on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 10:08 am:

    "and i'm particularly pissed off at white men, all men, and persons with opportunities."

    the logic behind this escapes me... are these women not criminals?

    of course, men are to blame for making these women criminals.

    that must be it.

    we have a conspiracy.

    to keep you down.

    even though we're dumb, single minded animals.

    and you hold the reigns of power.

    make the rules.

    have the brains.

    the sex.

    the majority.

By Pez on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 11:27 am:

    it was blondamethyst.

    but pez is shorter and easier to write. and it is mass-produced. brave-new-world-candy.

    actually, the word "pez" is based on the german word for peppermint, whatever that is.

    i'm just going to call him up and say that i don't think we should go out anymore.

    and ask brian not to fix me up with any more of his friends.

By Isolde on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 11:34 am:

    That's a good plan.

By Czarina on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 11:56 am:

    Nate,I think your fish are hungry.

By Czarina on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 12:07 pm:

    After going back and reading this thread,I find the content somewhat politically incorrect,there is no ugliness,some,are perhaps, a little more facially challenged than others,but ugly,no.

By semillama on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 07:47 pm:

    I keep women down just by existing, according to Bell_jar's logic.

    Considering myself sympathetic to the real feminist values (might as well call them humanist,though), this is unacceptable.

    So, I'll go make her and Gloria Steinem happy and lie down on the train tracks.


By Isolde on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 08:20 pm:

    No, please don't. Because I like you, and you would not be making my day happier by lying on train tracks. So it violates my suddenly spawned school of Pro-Semillama feminism.

By Cat on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 08:24 pm:

    If you do, please choose a less violent and disfiguring means of death so I can have your body afterwards. It just wouldn't be any fun trying to play with a Sem doll that's all cut up.

By Pez on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 08:32 pm:

    i hope nobody dies. too much death as it is.


By Tired on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 09:07 pm:

    "only completely off the charts poor kids do well, and all rich kids regardless of their intellegence."

    I'm sorry, some rich kids do damn poor on the things, and there are companies and tutors that make loads of cash helping them out. Before this degenerates into a flame war, let me again repeat my negative view of the SAT and standardized tests in general.

By Isolde on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 09:15 pm:

    I don't think anyone here believes that standardized tests are a valid system of measurement. And if anyone does, we need to take this out back.

By Cat on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 09:58 pm:

    Oh and back to Gloria Steinem...she got married today, for the first time at the age of 66. Kinda strange considering she has often criticised marriage as diminishing the social status of women.

    The story says she was married at the home of Wilma Mankiller (gotta love that name), a former Cherokee chief.

    Me thinks Mr Steinem is gonna be the one getting up on those cold winter mornings to make the coffee.

By Antigone on Wednesday, September 6, 2000 - 10:08 pm:

    Standardized test are a valid measurement of skill taking standardized tests...

By Pez on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 12:21 am:

    who can possibly fill in those little bubbles to the highest perfection? not scribbling over the sides or missing a small part. and who can get their name spelled correctly on the exam?

    my best area was the analogies.

By Bell_jar on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 07:30 am:

    oh blah.
    sem, i go through man-hating phases. don't take it personally. it really isn't meant for most of the men at sorabji.

    although nate knows how to twist the knife a bit.

    i'm justoverwhelmed with women's issues, i'm seeing it where i volunteer, at my internship, with my mother, and even with friends. i need someone to blame, at least for a moment, and the other day it was all men.

    it's harder for me to target one person, as i'm overwhelmed with guilt because these men have issues too. if i just lump then together in a mass of evil, i feel more justified.

    does that make any sense?

    tired- i don't wish to have a "war. i know that not every rich child does exceedingly well, for there are always exceptions. it's just a larger percentage, an unequal ratio, do better.

    *this was said in the most pleasant manner, and is not meant to offend others. it was just to clarify my above statement. no comment necessary*

By Isolde on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 09:20 am:

    I always did really badly at the analogies. Something about the way my mind works prevents me from getting them right. I always put in the word that made sense to me, and I always failed. So then I tried to second guess them and out int he word that made the least sense, and that didn't work either.

By Nate on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 10:31 am:

    rich kids tend to have more time to spend on education. poor kids who need to work to make money while in school need to spend even more energy to study.

    as for women getting the shaft in prison (figuratively and literally,) i agree it's a huge problem. there are two major things to blame, i think: the prison guard lobby (fuckos) and society as a whole (not just men.)

    prison guard rape is horrible, but not representative of all men. by no means.

    the second is drug laws. conspiracy laws. minimum sentences. the idea that women are special, delicate and good makes the fact of female criminal acts that much harder to swallow.

    but that is as much perpetuated by women as men.

    maybe more so by women, because, you know, they dictate society and all.

    but laying blame doesn't solve problems.

By patrick on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 12:44 pm:

    hey sem,

    if i may....
    kill the self pity crap man..........confidence confidence confidence

    im not gonna stick my head up your arse with all your good qualities, cause gals here have been tooting them for ages, you know em, now shaytup and get on with're a good man, and there are a ton of girls out excuses, no stats, no rhyme or reason will change those two facts..

By Mavis on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 01:26 pm:

    blaming and hating men is no answer.
    it's a distraction from doing anything positive for the world.

    "present company excluded" man-hating is just as debilitating.

By blindswine on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 01:38 pm:

    you're absolutely right.

    that's why i just stick to hating white people.

By patrick on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 01:47 pm:

    i hate fat people who breath heavy on a quiet elevator

    who do you hate?

By Pez on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 01:52 pm:

    i hate people who make fun of poetry when i show it to them.

    like my little sister. showed her one poem, once, and she was running araund the house singing "la la la" in a baby voice.

By Nate on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 01:58 pm:

    i think your poetry is stupid, pez.

    i hate everyone, equally, without prejudice.

By Isolde on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 02:11 pm:

    Yay! Equal hating for all!

By cyst on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 03:28 pm:

    I'm greedy and hoard most of my hate for myself.

By Trace on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 03:53 pm:

    Pez, I love your poetry, fuck everyone else

By Dougie on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 03:59 pm:

    Even me, Trace?

By Trace on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 04:09 pm:

    Not you,

By Cat on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 04:54 pm:

    Oh poor Dougie Wougie Bugle must be pouting now.

    Never mind, I'll reserve a spot for you on my lust pedastal.

By Mavis on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 05:04 pm:

    what about me?

By patrick on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 05:22 pm:

    dougiefresh is coming up?

    mavis bring my tribe and roots albums........oh and don't forget my NWA rekids

By Cat on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 05:30 pm:

    Mavis darlin', you know you were already there.

    I was so freakin randy last night. I don't know why I'm mentioning that, except it was weird because it was like...oh I don't was just incredibly intense randiness without any rhyme or reason behind it.

    Wasn't even hormonal really because I'm nowhere near the PMT-induced nail-biting randiness.

    Must have been the excitement over buying my new shoes.

By Pez on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 05:31 pm:

    fine. if i'm not invited, i'll cart all my musical instruments of torture and serenade all of you. not to mention finding my trebouchet and flinging water balloons filled with butterscotch pudding up there until you give up.

    and nate--if you hate my poetry so much, don't worry. that's less than 1% of what you have to hate in that paticular category. i'm a VERY avid writer.

    nate is an equal opportunity enrager.

    wait a second...that sounded like jimmy for a second on the radio...oh my.

By Mavis on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 05:37 pm:


    yeah i just had that first day of period all out fuck me lust vibe AND was in the same room with Richard Buckner.

By Rev. Dr. semillama on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 06:50 pm:

    You know, i hate white people too.

    Here's what my religion has to say about hate:

    (chapter 13, verses 25-32)

    "Ours is an all-consuming,all-encompassing,all-pervading hate! An Infinite MALICE! A RANCOR THAT KNOWS NO BOUNDS!! A LOATHING THAT EXTENDS TO THE VERY END OF ALL KNOWN UNIVERSES! A VENOM AS BLACK AS SPACE ITSELF!!!A MORBID and TRULY HORRIFIED REPUGNANCE!! A RADIOACTIVE hate! A BURNING, SCOURING, ANNIHILATING HATE!! A hate that peels paint off walls, makes traffic lights explode, and ruptures sewer lines!
    "Our hate is like a self-fueling cold fusion reactor, for the Conspiracy itself gives us the energy to oppose it! Its very hostility toward us is the 'plutonium' which fules our HATE DYNAMOS. Indeed, were it not for The Conspiracy, there would be no "Bob," Church, Doktors 4 "Bob," Pee dog, et al!
    "Even though the Conspiracy encompasses everything, you can't hate only the conspiracy - you've got to hate the wind in the trees. You've got to hate a cure for AIDS. You've got to hate a small crippled child learning to walk again! You've got to hate a bluebird chirping at dawn! The flower does not bloom, the leaf does not fall, that you should not WRITHE IN ORGASMIC ABHORRENCE!!!
    "Eventually, you will achieve an almost JANORIAN hate - a state of mind in which you love NOTHING, not even HATING. You hate hating, too. In fact, the thing you hate most, out of all the universe of hateful things, is the HATE. But everything has BECOME the, finally, THERE'S NOTHING TO HATE BUT HATE ITSLEF.
    "This is the final stage, the transcendent level of hate: HATE X HATE, or HATE squared.
    "You bend all your hate toward that, you disappear into that, you give yourself up to it. You BECOME the hate...leaving boundless love in your heart for all things.

    "...That is, as long as none of them irritate you IN ANY WAY. Then, you should exact REVENGE. But, since you are cleansed of irrational hate, you can now plot and plan with a cold, calculating hate, a hate sure to get the job done, not some frazzled half-burned-out hate like that of Pink lynch mobs, politicians, preachers, and terrorist 'revolutionaries' or 'counter-revolutionaries."

By Mavis on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 06:54 pm:

    you're so sexy when you're spewing subgenius quotes.....

By Antigone on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 10:58 pm:

    Kill, kill, kill...the white man.

    Kill...the white man.

By Unwashedhippie on Thursday, September 7, 2000 - 11:04 pm:

    chill out dude

By agatha on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 12:27 am:

    i don't much care for stupid people or mean people. hate is a strong word.

By Pez on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 02:00 am:

    "devil devil satan satan carol carol!!"


    "devil devil satan satan kill kill!!"

    according to who says it

    jig, with your index fingers pointing upbehind your head to hungarian dances.

By Trace on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 07:40 am:

    I want to join the church of Rev. Dr. semillama

By Isolde on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 08:25 am:

    Cyst, I hate you.

    I hate people who make me sit in between really fat sweaty men on aeroplanes.

By Dougie on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 09:33 am:

    Cat, I'm flattered, but alas, I'm spoken for. Patrick, rock on, I'll just bring my discman and smile a lot.

By semillama on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 12:55 pm:


    Send $30 to: The Church of The SubGenius, P.O. Box 140306, Dallas TX 75214

    That's how.

    Like Dobbs always says: "They may be Pink, but they're money's stil GREEN."

By cyst on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 01:11 pm:

    isolde, why do you hate me?

    did I ever tell you guys I FINALLY heard back from my former friend who said he never wanted to see me again? turns out it's because he thinks I'm sociopathic and he has nothing but pity and contempt for me, and that's no basis for a friendship.

By Trace on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 01:35 pm:

    $30? you should charge more then that!

By Dougie on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 01:37 pm:

    "than" that Trace. "Then" you'll have it right.

By Dougie on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 01:39 pm:

    Ever stare at a word (like "then" for instance) and pronounce it to yourself til it looks wrong and loses what you think it means?

By Grammatically non-pc trace on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 01:44 pm:

    all the time. I am now wondering what Dougie means...........................

By Tired on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 02:12 pm:

    being sociopathic isn't all that bad, if you didn't suspect it already. I mean, if people think your everyday self is deceitful and manipulative, imagine what you could do if you tried?

By Isolde on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 04:01 pm:

    I don't hate you, I was just getting into the spirit of things.

By cyst on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 04:03 pm:


By Cat on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 04:38 pm:

    Dougie, don't make me spank. Being taken is no defence in this court. Especially since being on the lust pedastal doesn't mean you have to put out or anything. You just have to sit there and have live chicken's sacrificed in your honour.

    Resistance is futile.

By semillama on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 05:44 pm:

    "$30? you should charge more then that!"

    That's just for starters. Guys like you will pay to know what you really think.

    Besides, it costs to go ride the 'squids at the "Crossed-Pipe" ranch out in Nevada.

    Then you need to tithe to Dobbs, so you can get stuff that will assist in the quest for SLACK.

    'course, you might just end up in a "Church AIR" canister, while we empty your bank accounts and sell your animated corpse to the CIA for Black Ops in Canada.

By Pez on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 07:32 pm:

    i read that the guitarist for "reel big fish" is selling his soul on ebay.

    thinks it was transferred to a mason jar by a voodoo priest.

    anyone want to buy my soul?

By Nate on Friday, September 8, 2000 - 10:15 pm:

    i'll buy sexually explicit polaroids.

By Suck My Dick on Saturday, September 9, 2000 - 02:54 pm:


By Pez on Sunday, September 10, 2000 - 02:32 am:

    sometimes i just wish i had a magic eraser so i could erase "certain people" off the planet. (i'm not mentioning any names in order not to provoke...hopefully)

By semillama on Sunday, September 10, 2000 - 02:30 pm:

    Hell, I'd erase entire nations.

By Pez on Monday, September 11, 2000 - 02:10 am:

    who wants to erase the president? (or at least that horrible media circus)

By Trace on Monday, September 11, 2000 - 07:49 am:

    I want one of thoose erasers!

By Isolde on Monday, September 11, 2000 - 07:51 am:

    *twirls her eraser thoughtfully in her hand, studying the gloomy depths*

By Dougie on Monday, September 11, 2000 - 11:09 am:

    OK Cat, I'll sit back and enjoy the Santerian ride.

By Pez on Monday, September 11, 2000 - 02:26 pm:

    now, only to invent it...

By Isolde on Monday, September 11, 2000 - 03:34 pm:

    You mean...I shouldn't have mentioned that I had one?

By Pez on Monday, September 11, 2000 - 04:53 pm:

    what! someone already invented one? it's ok. just as long as i get the patent.

    besides, i'm working on something on something even more potent, based on my high frequency flute playing/disappearing stray cat theory.

By Isolde on Monday, September 11, 2000 - 06:47 pm:

    Of course not. What a foolish idea.

By Pez on Monday, September 11, 2000 - 09:06 pm:

    maybe it works on the same principle as disappearing ink. or a black hole.

    i'll have to find my physics notes...

By Notwolf on Tuesday, October 31, 2000 - 01:48 am:

    the black hol ething occurs when the gravity generated exceeds the mass that generated it. so, you couldnt erase it.


    i don't know much physics, but i know what matters...


By Starfallforever on Friday, January 5, 2001 - 03:25 am:

    My pagan church of enlightenment takes you from the state of total hate and loathing to the point of total uncaring!
    From there you are open to the mysteries of the cosmos, enabling you to do many things normal people can not do, such as
    ~Realize that you are completely and irevocablly insane!~
    ~Invoke a vegitative trance like state often associated with couch potatoe's!~
    ~Bend silver ware without using your mind!~
    ~And the most amazing skill that normal people struggle with, setting the clock on a VCR!~

    The catch is you MUST NOT SEND US MONEY!!!
    Money is the great corrupter of my religon it entices my disciples away from there religon to that all hated religon "CONSUMERISM"!!!!!

By Pug on Friday, January 5, 2001 - 11:37 am:

    Starfallforever, you are truly one with the sacred and holy Lemur.

By semillama on Friday, January 5, 2001 - 02:54 pm:

    If you do feel like sending money, send it to me. My church is all about taking your money, we just save your soul as a side effect.

By Pug on Friday, January 5, 2001 - 03:54 pm:

    PRAISE BOB!!!!!

By semillama on Saturday, January 6, 2001 - 12:47 am:

    For an extra $5, I'll send you the quotation marks.

By Pug on Saturday, January 6, 2001 - 09:55 am:

    You drive a hard bargain.

By semillama on Saturday, January 6, 2001 - 09:57 pm:

    You're getting off light, actually.

By Bob on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 12:21 am:

    "...For I am the Great and Mighty Bob, and all those who follow me shall be The Blessed."

    <BOB B.B.>

By J on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 12:47 am:


By semillama on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 08:55 am:

    "Act like a dumbshit and they'll treat you as an equal."

By Jon on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 01:42 pm:

    you're a nutcase pez, love jon

By Chris on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 02:19 pm:

    your all fucking retarded...

    -jons brother

By pez on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 02:41 pm:

    still am. just with a few more years under my belt and a little more sense.

By V on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 05:48 pm:

    ...who is "the mighty blob"?...its such a cool he from Mars,or is he a "killer tomatoe"????

By V on Tuesday, April 19, 2005 - 06:26 pm:

    "come on without,come on within,you aint seen nothing like the mighty Blob",,,,just did a tap in to the coputer on "blobby"and it was strange.

The Stalking Post: General goddam chit-chat Every 3 seconds: Sex . Can men and women just be friends? . Dreamland . Insomnia . Are you stoned? . What are you eating? I need advice: Can you help? . Reasons to be cheerful . Days and nights . Words . Are there any news? Wishful thinking: Have you ever... . I wish you were... . Why I oughta... Is it art?: This question seems to come up quite often around here. Weeds: Things that, if erased from our cultural memory forever, would be no great loss Surfwatch: Where did you go on the 'net today? What are you listening to?: Worst music you've ever heard . What song or tune is going through your head right now? . Obscure composers . Obscure Jazz, 1890-1950 . Whatever, whenever General Questions: Do you have any regrets? . Who are you? . Where are you? . What are you doing here? . What have you done? . Why did you do it? . What have you failed to do? . What are you wearing? . What do you want? . How do you do? . What do you want to do today? . Are you stupid? Specific Questions: What is the cruelest thing you ever did? . Have you ever been lonely? . Have you ever gone hungry? . Are you pissed off? . When is the last time you had sex? . What does it look like where you are? . What are you afraid of? . Do you love me? . What is your definition of Heaven? . What is your definition of Hell? Movies: Last movie you saw . Worst movie you ever saw . Best movie you ever saw Reading: Best book you've ever read . Worst book you've ever read . Last book you read Drunken ramblings: uiphgy8 hxbjf.bklf ghw789- bncgjkvhnqwb=8[ . Payphones: Payphone Project BBS . torturechamber . . receipts . contact