What the hell do men like?

sorabji.com: Sex: What the hell do men like?

Margret on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 10:46 pm:

    I swear to god, I've been trying to figure out what kind of things men like in bed/sexually and all I can think of is: sticking their penises in warm, wet, friction-y places. Is there something else?

By jack on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 11:03 pm:


By Margret on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 11:16 pm:

    Elaborate? I'm sure this varies from guy to guy, just like not all women like having their nipples bitten...but I am completely confounded by what men might like besides the aforementioned hide-the-snausage.

By dave. on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 12:19 am:

    we like it when you like it.

    beyond that, warm, wet, friction-y places.

By dave. on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 12:38 am:

    to clarify -- for me, fucking a woman is one thing. getting fucked back is a totally different animal. if you throw me down on my back and use my dick to get yourself off, it's gonna be a win-win.


By Margret on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 01:12 am:

    No, good intel and I appreciate it.

By Nate on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 01:24 am:

    dave. sums it up for me, as well.

    if the woman isn't into it is expensive masturbation.

By Margret on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 03:39 am:

    ok, so upshot is you like for us to be enjoying ourselves. if we're not, is it cool to halt the proceedings and make suggestions? i'm asking because i may have sex again someday, and i've decided it shall be good sex and i'm willing to take responsibility for ensuring that. just kind of need to know how to go about it.

By dave. on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 04:24 am:

    i'm not sure about halting the proceedings. think of it like wrestling with cock and cunt engaged. do a reversal. i can't imagine a guy worth fucking that would object to being ridden. (rode?) just take over.

    of course, you can always make suggestions but, depending on the guy, that might make it worse.

    guys can be as weird about this shit as women can be.

    i wish i could go back in time with my 39 yr old brain and my 20 year old body.

    and, this is for the guys out there: why are the girls so much hotter in 2006 than they were in 1986? that's so cruel.

By jack on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 09:32 am:

    agreed with dave. and nate. you have to be into it.

    it's definitely cool to make suggestions. be careful about "halting" though -- flow is key.

    it's definitely cool if you like to take requests as well.

By heather on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 11:11 am:

    i am not so much a man, but...


    with some people it only clicks for the first couple of months, but when the connection is always there, hot damn.

    having the same twisted perversions so that neither of you feels like a weirdo.

    this is lame, i know, but for me it only *really* works with other water signs, otherwise there are layers missing.

    but, uh, boys like when you go down on them and you like it.

By Margret on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 05:49 pm:


    So, check to enthusiastic cock gobbling. Got it.

    Thanks; just so everyone knows, this is really relatively abstract right now. I was thinking about how nice it might be to have sex again someday and thinking it would be nice to be able to ensure it was good for all involved.

    Heather: I think you might be right about kink compatibility being important. But that's one of those things you have to either be very self-confident to talk about, or very comfortable with the other person.

    dave & jack: snap on the not calling a halt. I guess there are diplomatic ways to assume the role of cruise director. And dave, if I can pull the maneuver and maintain position for a full 3 seconds with both of the boy's shoulder blades touching flat surface - is it ok to jump up and run around the room declaring myself the winner?

By semillama on Saturday, July 15, 2006 - 11:24 pm:

    Only if you come first.

    and apparently, you need to keep a careful score of who comes
    first, and especially if one person doesn't come. This is supposedly
    important in some grand scheme of things, I am told.

By Margret on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 01:48 am:

    Wait: who's supposed to come first, and why? Are there rules?

By dave. on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 02:09 am:

    ideally, woman first (second, third, etc.). the overwhelming majority of guys are finished after they come. at least for a short while.

    have you ever had sex, margret? that's rhetorical, but some of your questions seem unusually naive for someone of your age. the skeptic in me thinks you're fucking with us.

    it's almost pointless to try to map out a generic, yet detailed, strategy for sexual success. as heather mentioned, there are all sorts of fetishes that can make things weird and there's the mutual chemistry to take into account.

    sex is best when you both enthusiastically want it and want it bad.

By dave. on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 02:44 am:

    back to my earlier question. women: hotter now than ever?

    i almost want to blame the 80's fashions for making good-looking people ugly. i came of age in an ugly time.

    but maybe it's something else.

By heather on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 03:19 am:


    blame the 80's

    i blame today for people wearing clothes with stuff squishing out, and not really the good stuff

By Nate on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 11:28 am:

    mmmm not good stuff squishing out.

    i think as you get older a wider range of people are attractive, giving the illusion that the current generation has it better.

    biologically, the man should come first. the female orgasm has the effect of pounding the cervix repeatedly into the semen pool.

By V on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 02:02 pm:

    ,,,odd,no matter how old a man gets,you still want a 20 year old girl,explanations?

By V on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 02:19 pm:

    ...I try to find older woman sexy,but I cant,its just grey hair,wrinkles,flat boobs,flat ass,age spots,veins,stretch marks,and lack of lube in the lower regions.

By Margret on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 04:38 pm:

    Yeah, I've had sex. I haven't in a while, and it really does occur to me that I had never thought about what men might like beyond the warm wet friction thing. Those are gimmes, but it's a really small bag of tricks. I turned to porn (written) before asking you guys, but other than including descriptions of the hotness of the bodies involved and adding in lots of verbiage to characterize the actual acts more completely, the whole deal seems to kind of center around vaginal, oral, and the occasional anal penetration. That seems really - I don't know, narrow in scope. So I thought I'd ask. Like, I have specific things I dig which don't fall into any of those three groupings which I can actually articulate: now you may feel free to tug gently at the hair at the base of my skull, if you leave my panties on and work AROUND them for an extra 10 minutes the results will benefit us both, do please feel free to moan (but not shriek) right next to my ear. Maybe all that stuff is too person specific - but I was looking for a range of activities I could at least try. It has been a really long time since I engaged in sex for its own sake, in celebration of the cools things my body can do. Since I want to enjoy it, I thought it would be nice to see if I could think of some things to try to have the other person enjoy it as well. I have always assumed that to the extent there was foreplay, it was meant to be for my benefit so I would give up an orifice and that the orifice in question would be sufficiently moist and relaxed that the friction would be more pleasant and less like a SWAT team exercise. I have recently questioned whether that was accurate, and got curious in general. My discussions of sex with people I have HAD sex with have typically been of the "you're cleared for take off" variety, and not the "you know what I'd really like to do/try" variety - with exceptions which were inauspicious. This is a function, I think, of subsuming the sexual to the romantic. I want to take break from that, so I don't care whether "we" have a future beyond the next 1-2 hours. But, having secured those hours at some unspecified future point, I'd like those 1-2 hours to rock.

By Margret on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 04:53 pm:

    Re "women: hotter now than ever?" - think about how old you were when your hmm libidinal energies were initially engaged. Not, mind you, when you were starting to furiously jack off - but before that, when you were drawn to things and had funny feelings in your tummy but before your cock started making actual demands. I am thinking it was maybe Charlie's Angels/Battlestar Galactica/TJ Hooker era. That is, late 70s.
    Now think about what women wear these days. It's like the late 70s but with more moderation in cut (bell bottoms not quite so foolish, but a little flair) and more peek-a-boo flesh. And...it must be said...way less unattractive eyewear.
    So, dave, today's young women aren't hotter per se - they're a sleeker, post-punk version of what was hot when you were first beginning to have vague notions of what hot meant. At least, that's what I think.
    Which brings me to a question I posed to my all-male-except-for-me world of warcraft guild: Firefly
    (a) Kaylee
    (b) Inara
    (c) Zoe
    They were unanimous. All the women I polled at work were also unanimous. The choices were not the same. This is for that question. The men refused to play the second part, because apparently acknowledging other men are attractive makes you teh ghey.
    (1) Mal
    (2) Wash
    (3) Jane
    (4) Simon
    (5) Book

By Spider on Sunday, July 16, 2006 - 07:52 pm:

    You didn't ask me, but:

    (3) and (1)

By Margret on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 12:15 am:

    Last I checked, these forums were open.
    It's (c) for me - and that's the standard response from women, and (1) through (3) for me depending on mood. I'd love to be able to say definitively (1) and (2) only, because I'd feel less superficial. But Adam-no-relation-Baldwin's fucking hot, yo.

By dave. on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 01:03 am:

    i don't know jack shit about a b c or 1 2 3 4 5, but jaclyn smith was my favorite angel. compare her to jessica alba? no contest. alba is the shit.

    the chick in scary movie is also super hot. camel toe! p33n!

    i think nate has a good point, but i really think it's more about the presentation. even the so-called plain-janes just look better now.

By dave. on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 01:24 am:

    margret, did that ram help?

By Margret on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 02:08 am:

    dave: haven't cracked the case yet...have been afraid of fucking something up and not having the internet available to apartment hunt (because I've been off work this past week). I can afford to take the chance starting Monday, since I'm back at work/have a machine during business hours.

By dave. on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 03:46 am:

    did some looking into it. kaylee and inara. especially kaylee. i hope she isn't annoying like, say, deanna troi.

    don't care about the dudes. didn't even bother to look them up. that's not being phobic. i just don't care.

    if someone wants to provide links, i might rate them.

    meanwhile . . .

By Nate on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 03:58 am:

    you can see the cut of her vaginaphone.

By dave. on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 04:11 am:

    i know!

By Margret on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 04:37 am:

    Kaylee is an awesome character. She is earthy and capable and sweet and vulnerable. She's just not an ass kicker. Zoe is an ass kicker. I love an ass kicker.

By dave. on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 05:04 am:

    ok. she's annoying. she has feelings. blech.

    i was just going off of looks.

By Margret on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 05:15 am:

    dave, you slay me.

By kazu on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 08:22 am:

    Inara. Especially after the episode "Our Mrs. Reynolds" She's hilarious.

    As for the guys, I don't know. Wash, but only if he was less insecure. I don't know about Jayne though...he never kisses them on the mouth.

    Margaret, Have you seen the show Wonderfalls? I highly recommend the whole season (13 shows). Jewel Staite plays her anti-Kaylee character in the last few shows.

By heather on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 08:32 am:

    hm let's see...

    thousands more "identity/fashion" magazines

    however-what-is-sold gets decided, remember the only clothes you could get in the 80's? *shiver*

    movies with people in their 20's playing teenagers

    more surface consciousness

    the world being even more youth-worshipping

    parents now shell out for plastic surgery in highschool, it's as simple as a haircut


By Margret on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 09:46 am:

    I have Wonderfalls, *and* both seasons of Dead Like Me. Is Mandy Patinkin the shit, or what?
    Oh, and saw A Scanner Darkly. Robert Downey, Jr. should win an Oscar.

By kazu on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 09:53 am:

    I want Rube to be my boss.

By TBone on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 01:09 pm:

    I just saw Firefly for the first time last night.

    What are our criteria?

    A and 3, In general.

By semillama on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 01:53 pm:

    For firefly, A) and 1.

    Firefly: yet another great show slain by Fox.

    I think shows at Fox somehow reach a point where the network realizes how good they are, so they promptly cancel them. Part of their plan for worldwide chaos and discontent.


    Family Guy (before the miraculous ressurrection)
    Greg the Bunny

    and so on...

By Nate on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 02:07 pm:

    woah, you guys think other guys are hot? fags.

By Nate on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 03:15 pm:

    anyway, 1.

    baldwin i would vote "most likely to be seen at the folsom street fair wearing nothing but suspenders, hotpants, and a biker cap, all in black leather, with chrome studs as necessary."

By Nate on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 03:16 pm:

    firefly seems to be kind of slim pickings.

By Nate on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 03:16 pm:

    i don't think i've ever seen an episode. is that the one with the living ship?

By Nate on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 03:17 pm:

    ,,,shit,way to V post,nate.

By TBone on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 03:39 pm:

    Nah. The characters fly around in an old ship doing odd jobs, avoiding the law. They dress like they're in a western -- complete with blasters that look like six-shooters.

    I've only watched first episode so far.

By patrick on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 04:33 pm:

    i have yet to weigh in...so here goes.

    ive been with someone for two years and still having tremendous, frequent, kinkly sex so I think i can share some of my personal thoughts.

    I think men often like being in charge. men can be very confused and immasculated in society and so its nice to not only be allowed to play a little rough, but to have it encouraged.

    Men have been conditioned to be very goal orientated. its not good, or worthy if we, nor you get off or so the thinking goes. reprogram that and things can get really good. nothing sucks more than performance anxiety. remove those expectations, on both sides and you can truly have a playful time.

    if you havent noticed, we're very fascinated by our cocks and certainly the splooge. i've made works of art with my ejaculations, sat there and looked at the trajectory for considerable time. i wont digress too on this but i can say we like it when you like it as much as we like it so this would include enthusiasitic cock gobbling and more.

    Also, many men, (nate clearly excluded) have been conditioned that masturbation is something dark, secret, and bad. Ever heard teen boys messing with each other, and using jacking off as something they shouldnt be doing? Women, i think are far more liberated in that realm. So yeah, when you girl takes your tool as a masturbation device.....you're going to score big. I think thats how my ex seduced me for about 8 of our 10 years.

    and along the lines of what heather said... but to be more blatent...sometimes, you just fit better....literally. and when you fit better, you have better sex, and well....its this difference of wearing a giant, hand me down wool mitten thats just too small, to wearing a nice, italian, custom made leather chick glove.

By Nate on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 04:55 pm:

    "a giant, hand me down wool mitten thats just too small"

    -mr. anaconda cock

By patrick on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 06:22 pm:

    also margret, in my experience it takes a long time to warm to playing "photographer" or to get into the rope shit. you'd transcend to hero status in my book if you unloaded your first date with a little role playing or some sorta kinky rope shit.

    another idea.

    mirrors. i think many women might be surprised at the titillation they might receive upon utilizing a large mirror in a variety of ways. guys love to see their junk all lathered up in girljuice. the idea that your girl gets just as turned on by that is a very nice idea too.

    i hope this helps and by all means post results.

By Margret on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 07:15 pm:

    Patrick: thanks. If the cooch comes off the bench, uh, I'll be sure to pass on any tales of victory or defeat.

By Nate on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 07:27 pm:

    yeah, tell us about your girljuice lathering on some dudes junk.

By Margret on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 08:38 pm:

    owww. it hurts me.

By dave. on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 10:55 pm:

    mandy patinkin is the shit. i've never heard it, but he apparently has a beautiful tenor voice.

    loved dead like me. ellen muth is wierdly hot. and i just realized (besides being fixated on hot celebrities), the woman who plays daisy, who was a terrorist on the second season of 24, and who also stars on the 4400, has the same sexy glint in her eyes that the woman in scary movie has. i'm so attracted to that quality. is that natural or learned?

By dave. on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 11:09 pm:

    the glint, not the attraction.

By Nate on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 11:22 pm:

    i had no idea that rube was also inigo montoya.

    i've been watching dead like me on hdnet. who knew?

    joan of arcadia, as well. the best show ever.

By dave. on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 11:36 pm:

    i had that same revelation a couple years ago, nate. it made me an even bigger fan of mandy.

By Margret on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 11:39 pm:

    ahhh, dave, i believe you're referring to the kind of crazy that isn't needy, "never leave me" crazy, but is instead more of a black widow "yes, yes, you're going to die. but you'll die happy...not everyone can say that" gleam.
    or maybe i'm projecting.

By dave. on Monday, July 17, 2006 - 11:51 pm:

    i prefer to call it the "fuck me deep" look.

    but your description might be more accurate.

By dave. on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 12:04 am:

    why did i misspell weirdly?

    i hate that. i totally know how to spell weird. bitch.

By Nate on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 01:08 am:

    he also pitches crestor. how's that treat you.

    i want him to call me peanut and give me some pie.

By dave. on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 01:30 am:

    he could pitch tuck's for all i care.

    patrick. mirrors? what kind of a sadistic dickhead are you? you well hung, genetically skinny son of a bitch. et phone home, motherfucker. we jabba the huts will eat you but we don't need fucking mirrors to get off on it. mirrors are for metrosexual, narcissistic pussyboys.

    mirrors. kick your ass.

By Margret on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 01:46 am:

    thank god it's not just me! i could maybe do the rope thingy (although i'm not 100% sure what we mean by this - i'm just going to assume we're talking a little light BD), and god knows i've been waiting my whole life for someone to fucking dominate me in the bedroom - if only every once in a while (and then CHECK THAT SHIT AT THE DOOR). but mirrors? no. it's all i can do to avoid seeing my nekkid bod when i'm putting on deodorant in the a.m. last thing i want is to see it, you know, swaying.

By dave. on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 02:53 am:

    "i've been waiting my whole life for someone to fucking dominate me in the bedroom"

    i assume you mean some kind of ritualized domination. as opposed to just getting your brains fucked out.

    i really don't get the bdsm thing. hitting, choking, restraints, pain and brutality. makes me sad. i understand the concept. but i do not have that in me.

    that's part of the "fetishes making things weird" quotient mentioned above.

    when answering your "what the hell do men like? question, i had in my mind that some men like having their balls stomped on by a woman in stiletto heels. i don't. i'd fucking knock you out (after i stopped barfing and writhing.) i'd steal your wallet and vandalize your car. i'd call your parents on your cellphone and let 'em know what a psychotic freak their daughter is.

    but that's just me. another guy might be down with it.

By heather on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 03:07 am:

    domination, yes

    hitting, restraints, pain and brutality, no

    the thing is, if you understand a certain thing, i would argue that you understand it from a very young age. i don't know where it comes from, but it comes before the sex, etc.

    i am sharing too much. goodnight.

By dave. on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 03:26 am:

    yeah, i mostly understand. not personally, but from second-hand stories. hence, my sadness. and my inability to oblige.

    and my whole beatdown fantasy was as goofy as bdsm and really harkens back to a recent thread regarding fantasy smackdowns.

    the difference is that my fantasy doesn't involve an erection or finish with ejaculation.

    better? worse? i don't know.

    goodnight, punkin.

By Margret on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 05:54 am:

    ritualized? nah, not really. i just mean very confident, enthusiastic and not afraid of offending my sensibilities - i am an earthy pig, and i'm tired of thoughtful, considerate lovemaking. don't want pain. i think i might actually mean getting my brains fucked out. what i think i REALLY mean is that i get to abdicate responsibility for initiating and determining the course of action every fucking once in a while. obviously, i am interested in returning the favor - hence this thread.

By kazu on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 08:10 am:

    Wonderfalls is better than Joan of Arcadia.

By Nate on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 09:51 am:

    for me, since early may, nothing is better than joan of arcadia.

    i flogged a girl once with a leather cat 'o nine tails type whip-thing. it was purple. i'd found it in her room and asked her if i could try it out. she wordlessly put her palms on her bed and presented her ass.

    i didn't really know what i was doing, so i started kind of soft. but when she didn't really react it became a challenge. i started whipping her harder and harder, trying to get her to gasp. i flipped her skirt up and started whipping her bare ass.

    when she finally gasped that wasn't enough. i wanted her to tell me it was too much. i whipped her harder and harder. her whole ass went from bright red to deep red. she never stopped me. eventually i dropped the whip and walked out. i felt like i was going to puke.

    it just feels so fucked up.

By patrick on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 12:02 pm:

    dave the mirror thing was a suggestion more for her than for me.

    i certainly don't need one to see my andaconda getting all lathered up in girljuice. right?

    and yes, margaret light domination. the hardcore stuff is just too much.

    i think one of the reasons my current sex life is so fucking good because i was allowed to be dominant. it took me many months to become comfortable with that and im still defining my boundaries, but when your told by someone you've had sex with only once before that she wants to be manhandled so speak, it kinds blows your mind. like you, id been having the sensitive, thoughtful, very feminine sex for the better part of 10 years. she always came first, I always came second. very plain, boring.

    there's a fine line between pain and pleasure i think. for some people, its riding that line thats fun for many....you know like determining where that threshhold is with girl nips. simply flogging someone because they are a total submissive isnt that fun.

By patrick on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 12:03 pm:

    and will you two fags stop talking about dumbass tv shows no one knows anything about.

By Margret on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 12:04 pm:

    I've never seen Joan of Arcadia; is it available on dvd yet? (don't have cable)

By Nate on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 12:31 pm:

    the first season is out on dvd. and i think the second season is out soon.

By Spider on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 12:53 pm:

    I haven't seen the second season, but the first season's finale made me cry like few other shows/films have.

    One day I will get around to having sex and then I'll be able to weigh in in these discussions. Speculating, though, is still fun.

By Nate on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 01:32 pm:

    the finale to the first season was rough. and freaky.

    i've cried more than once for 'joan of arcadia'. i'm man enough to admit that. it has been formative.

    fuck you patty. fag.

By patrick on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 05:25 pm:

    nate's now in a precarious position to view my/mny gf's netflix list.

    yes, im starting a journey back to Magnum PI starting with season 1.

By Spider on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 05:36 pm:

    I'm loath to rent the second JoA season when it's available because I've heard they trashed Joan and Adam's relationship, and I love Adam. He cheats on her, or something? As if!

    Also, I have to say I hated that the writers made Joan such a dumbass most of the time. Like the time she breaks her foot by standing in the washing machine? Or the time she had such an ordeal mastering the Pythagorean theorem? What is she, a complete idiot? Why do TV people believe we can't relate with characters unless they're stupid? Why not show a teenaged girl who is competent at her studies? She doesn't have to be brilliant -- just, like, competent. OK?

    I did like the time, though, that God-as-hot-dog-vendor (if I recall correctly) scolded Joan for ditching school (I think it was the cheerleading episode). School is your duty, Joan; I don't think God would want you to shirk your duty to fit in with some girls.

By wisper on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 05:36 pm:

    "when she finally gasped that wasn't enough. i wanted her to tell me it was too much. i whipped her harder and harder. her whole ass went from bright red to deep red. she never stopped me. eventually i dropped the whip and walked out."


By patrick on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 06:05 pm:

    ladies and gentleman, our resident masochist?

By Nate on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 06:14 pm:

    tsk. shh spider. i intentionally don't seek out what may or may not happen in episodes i haven't seen. don't fill my head with such things.

    studies aren't her thing. she's clearly not an idiot. she's just not school focused.

    she's open to possibilities.

By lapis on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 07:01 pm:

    a couple things i've gathered:

    sometimes mirrors are ok, but soft lighting (nothing bright) is nice always.

    you can't go wrong by waking someone up with a handjob.

    and teeth are good, as long as you don't bite without permission.

By wisper on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 11:01 pm:

    I'm catching up!

    Firefly- I can't stand anything Joss Whedon gets his hands on. His writing is like my Kryptonite. But i guess i'll go with B and 4.

    Wonderfalls- is cute, but i think the one hour format really hurts the show, at least for me. I start off liking things, and then just really want them to end. I have a burned copy of the full season and have never finished it. I need a big space in between episodes. Sometimes months in between. That girl has a really expressive and engaging face though, and you can hear the Montreal in her voice.

    The people at FOX are just drunk. Their worst and most insane mistake was canceling Arrested Development to make room for that pile of shit American Dad. Which they only gave time for in the first place to say sorry for canceling Family Guy. Then they brought back Family Guy at the same time, thus ending (please god let it stop) the need for American Dad, which they will probably never cancel now for fear of having another Family Guy-style fiasco, despite it being a flaming pile of shit.
    And have you seen The War At Home? It's like a new level of suck. The old definition of suck cowers in fear when faced with this show.

    Mandy Patinkin- You've never heard him sing? Like an angel. Did no one watch Chicago Hope back in the day?

    I like lots of things, patrick.
    Most of them involve pain and humiliation. And being told (or made) to shut up and take it.
    Do i *need* this stuff? No, but it does explain my affinity for hentai. Violent, degrading hentai.

By Jim aka Pajama on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 - 11:59 pm:

    Ummmm... may I ask a question related to the original question "What the hell do men like?"

    Do straight men like to have a women rim them? There is a classic Sex and the City episode dealing with this and before that, I honestly thought it was just a gay thing. I personally cannot imagine any man not enjoying being rimmed. It's such a freakin' god damned wonderful sensation.


By dave. on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 12:18 am:

    aw jeez. jim, that's what puppies and peanut butter are for. you sicko.

By Jim aka Pajama on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 12:31 am:

    ewww puppies.

By Nate on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 03:35 am:

    thanks for playing, jim. the correct answer would have been "AWWWWW puppies"

    i love being rimmed. a lot of women seem to have a hang up about giving rim jobs though.

By semillama on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 12:30 pm:

    What is also really hot is when a woman puts a shoe on her head.

By TBone on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 12:41 pm:

    Fox sent me an invitation to take a survey regarding The War at Home. So I did.

    I told them it's just about the worst show I've ever been unable to sit through, and that nobody would know which parts are supposed to be funny if it weren't for the laugh track.

    I'm sure they'll dismiss me as not being part of their target audience, since it's clearly written for idiots, by idiots.

    Actually, there may well be worse television out there, but I only watch network TV on Sunday nights.

    Rimming is not something I've experienced.

By wisper on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 04:03 pm:

    i don't understand straight guys and their avoidance of ass funtimes. You've got this button inside you that guaranties explosive earth shattering jet-fueled orgasms. You will come harder than you ever have in your entire life. The button just happens to be in your butt. How do you NOT go for it? "Oh no thanks, I don't much care for mind-blowing orgasms. Ho hum."

    I *wish* i had a prostate. I would be whaling on the thing 24/7. It just happens to be in your ass!! Is that not worth it?

By patrick on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 04:32 pm:

    someone i was with once tried that crap. slipping her tongue near my arse.

    i smacked her across the head after the second lick.

    well, not really, but Im sure i jumped, and Im sure i told her in no uncertain terms she wouldnt be doing that again.

    its a no mans (or womans)land around there for me. while i fully admit to having issues about it, and while i understand why, bottom line, its a virtual turn off. and it had nothing to do with my sexual orientation. its just not all that.

By Nate on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 04:40 pm:

    aren't the prostate nerves the g-spot in women? you can hammer on that thing 24/7.

    i thought there was a direct correlation, clit->glans, g-spot->prostate. but maybe it is just a loose analogy.

    shit, i would love a loose analogy right about now. sky rockets in flight, and all that shit.

By patrick on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 04:47 pm:

    apparently the fluid that erupts from a woman who is fortunate enough to ejaculate come from that female version of a prostate. it aint jiz, it aint whiz but some kinda prostate mix.

    so youre not far off base

By sarah on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 04:53 pm:

    wisper, it's not that they don't want explosive earth shattering jet-fueled orgasms, i think honestly some men don't know that pressure on the prostate would promote that.

    i see no reason why any male wouldn't want to at least try once using a small dildo or vibrator. you know, literally like the size of a woman's index finger. it wouldn't even hurt. guys' shit is bigger than that and it manages to find its way out of the same size hole.

    that said, i don't have anal issues.

By Nate on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 05:19 pm:

    "you shit bigger than my cock" doesn't always work one women.

By patrick on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 05:22 pm:

    or that putting something in your ass is "gay".

    im not saying thats my issue, cause it aint. but you have to understand the intense homophobia that is pervaded on the adolescent street amongst boys.

By Jim aka Pajama on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 05:28 pm:

    Nate... that's what us gay dudes are here for. To rim where the ladies won't. :)

    LOL @ "you shit bigger than my cock" doesn't always work one women.

By sarah on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 05:34 pm:

    haven't you made it abundantly clear that nobody could possibly shit bigger than your cock, nate?

By Margret on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 05:53 pm:

    I had almost the exact same experience, Patrick. Had someone with the tongue in the ass - was like "whoa, hey, we've never discussed this so you're off the hook this time, but I'm not really cool with this...." Except more like "I don't want you to put your tongue in my ass."
    Then he did it AGAIN a couple of days later. When confronted, he said he'd thought I was just being coy. What? I said don't stick your tongue in my ass, what's coy about that? Was I using too many euphemisms? Like tongue? And ass? Exit interview: does not follow explicit direction.

By TBone on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 06:01 pm:

    I thought nate shat bigger than everyone's cock.

    I've never pushed anyone's face away from my ass. I'm also well aware of the prostate's special features. Haven't had much help from others in that area, though.

    I think men are afraid they'll like it in the butt. Like that'll somehow mean they're gay. I don't really understand it. I've never heard a woman worry that she's a lesbian because she liked it when a guy went down on her.

By patrick on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 06:53 pm:

    because the stigma against homosexuality is greater for men in adolescence that it is for women in my observation.

    now its even chic for teen girls to you know, make out.

By Nate on Wednesday, July 19, 2006 - 07:27 pm:

    even more chic if you're taking pictures.

    another keg stand, sweetheart?

By semillama on Thursday, July 20, 2006 - 12:22 pm:

    Remember, folks, the only difference between a loose analogy and a loose anal orgy is the letter R.

By Jim aka Pajama on Monday, July 24, 2006 - 11:42 pm:

    oh how I've missed this place. :)

    thx semillama :)

By Czarina on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 10:11 am:

    Sadly, this is a distasteful tale,[no pun intended], about a piece of tail.

    Many years ago, our friend Jimmy-Sue, had a noteworthy nocturnal encounter, involving rimming. It has left a foul taste in my mouth. No, this is not for me. This activity has no appeal to me. I always remember this incident, and am immensely glad this did not happen to me.

    After picking up a hot young trick, taking him home and partaking in the pleasures of the flesh, throughout the night, Jimmy-Sue tells us things quickly went from adoration to downright disgusting.

    As his friend lay dozing contentedly in Jimmy-Sue's arms, Jimmy was gently stroking his handsome young face, when he noticed something moving around his lips. Thinking it was sleep induced spittle, or perhaps some other bodily fluid, Jimmy-Sue went to gently wipe it away, then, to his horror, he saw "it" was indeed moving. It was a worm, a little bitty pin worm. And it wasn't alone!There were quite a few.

    This, as you can imagine, put a damper on any romantic feelings that had grown through the night.

    No, this activity has absolutely no appeal to me.This incident happened well over twenty years ago, but I have never forgotten it.[and I'm pretty damned sure that Jimmy-Sue hasn't forgotten,either]

By Nate on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 11:58 am:

    mmmmm wormy rimjob.

By Jim aka Pajama on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 11:00 am:

    Now that is grotesque for sure. *shudder*

By kazu on Friday, July 28, 2006 - 12:41 pm:

    extra protein!

By kazu on Tuesday, August 1, 2006 - 02:07 pm:

    I noticed a mistake in an episode of Dead Like Me that I am having a hard time forgiving.

By Nate on Tuesday, August 1, 2006 - 02:24 pm:

    and that mistake was?

    i noticed a lot of mistakes in some recent epsiode of something, but i can't remember what it was.

By kazu on Tuesday, August 1, 2006 - 02:33 pm:

    When Rube is at the archive looking for information and the kid he is working with comes across a Wanted poster with Rube's face on it. The kid indicates that it looks just like Rube, but the kid shouldn't have been able to recognize Rube. When Rube became a reaper, his physical appearance to the world of the living should have been altered.

By Nate on Tuesday, August 1, 2006 - 02:42 pm:

    i just watched that episode. are you watching these on hdnet?

    i didn't catch that, but it's totally true.

    there are a lot of things about that show that just don't make sense. like the conversations they have with the recently dead - the reapers are visible to the world, so why doesn't anyone notice that they're talking to nobody?

By kazu on Tuesday, August 1, 2006 - 03:03 pm:

    I have them on avi. files.

    That element also bothers me, but I just let it go.

By agatha on Wednesday, August 2, 2006 - 12:42 am:

    I never thought of that! Damn. I could forgive just about anything on that show, aside from the fact that they frickin cancelled it.

By sarah on Wednesday, August 2, 2006 - 12:07 pm:

    senor and i started watching Rock Star.

    i had never heard of the show until Dave read that one of his favorite local singers, butch dyke Patrice Pike, is a contestant.

    although it appears she has way softened up her butchiness for the role.

    even though he claims he's disappointed that she'd even want to be a contestant, senor insists on watching the show until (if) she's eliminated.

    asside from tommy lee and dave navarro, the show is so difficult to stomach. even navarro is getting on my nerves. senor has to sometimes mute the tv when some of the contestants perform.

    anyway... as you were.

By semillama on Wednesday, August 2, 2006 - 02:48 pm:

    I'm totally addicted to that show myself, maybe because I'm a huge fan of Jason Newstead.

    I thought Patrice really rocked last night, but otherwise hasn't really impressed me.

    I also think the show is a waste of time, and that the band should just choose Dilana already and get it over with.

    Again, as you were.

By Jim aka Pajama on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 12:25 am:

    Sorabjites are watching reality television?

By semillama on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 01:32 pm:

    Yeah, but I figure that one of these days I'll turn it on and there will be Nate or Spider or someone. I especially wouldn't be surprised to see a sorabji team on something like the Amazing Race or something. Maybe Droopy will show up on American Idol, you never know.

By Spider on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 01:47 pm:

    Not me, no, sir.

    Hey, are there any (what's the word I want?), like, low-budget,
    public access interview shows a la JBTV or Rapping with the
    Rickster or things like that...anything like that on TV nowadays?
    I'd be on that.

    Because I'm going through a shameful obsession with the
    Beastie Boys at the moment, I've been watching tons and tons of
    clips of them on YouTube, and I found an interview with Adam
    Horovitz and John Doe (of X) being interviewed by my teenaged
    crush Steve Isaacs on MTV, probably around 1992. Remember
    Steve Isaacs? He was awesome -- so personable and cute and
    he really knew his stuff. He did research, yo. He had
    conversations, not interviews, with the people. He rocked.

    My point is, if Steve Isaacs is still interviewing people,
    somewhere, in some capacity, you'd see me there.

By Nate on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 02:10 pm:

    i might embarass myself on the news someday, sem, but never for a whole season on some reality show.

By Jim aka Pajama on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 02:38 pm:

    I wanna go on Deal or No Deal, win like $1300 and then piss everyone off by like taking the deal early.

    That's as reality as I get.

    By the way, I love youtube. LOVE it.

By Spider on Thursday, August 3, 2006 - 03:14 pm:

    Ohmygod, Steve Isaacs has a
    He's in a band. HE'S the one being interviewed now.

    I remember he left MTV to be in a production of The Who's
    "Tommy," maybe around 1993. Before he left he cut his hair,
    and my friends and I were torn between mourning and
    celebrating. Kinda like when Chris Cornell cut his hair.

    Steve Isaacs. Man, what a blast from the past. I totally wanted
    to marry him.

By sarah on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 02:07 pm:

    so we thought for sure that patrice was gonna get axed last night, but instead it was Zyre. at 6767.com navarro says he would have cut both of them.

    senor is pissed that patrice didn't take the opportunity last week to perform one of her originals. he thinks if she did she would make it farther toward the finals.

    her performance last night, in my opinion, was her best of the season so far. and i'm just not a big fan of hers.

    obviously she's getting cut in the next couple weeks.

    do you think the members of supernova are committed to this band in the long term? in many ways it seems like a publicity stunt for tommy lee that will collapse shortly after the season ends, or after they attempt recording their 1st record. not to mention that jason's really dedicated to Voivod...

By Dougie on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 02:26 pm:

    I think they should cut Storm Large just on the basis of her name.

By sarah on Thursday, August 17, 2006 - 02:54 pm:

    true dat. also because she's talentless.

By semillama on Monday, August 21, 2006 - 05:30 pm:

    I think Newstead would stick with the band, because he's just that damn enthusiastic about music. Voivod is pretty much finished - I can't see them going on without Piggy (RIP). Tommy is definitely the weak link.

    I still think they should just pick Dilana and get on with it.

    plus: shut up, gilby clarke.

By sarah on Wednesday, August 23, 2006 - 12:01 pm:

    yeah, shut up, gilby. but CHOPPER stole the show.

    so i thought navarro was a little harsh on patrice with the whole "solo artist" comment. i'm not saying she belongs in supernova though. i do think that with her performance last night she achieved what she set out to achieve by being a contestant.

    apparently she was signed at one point with Geffen records, but they axed her contract after Geffen himself kicked the bucket.

    whatever. i like her song better than Ryan's song, even though it was kinda pop-y.

    i only watched the first 30 minutes, then took the ass monkeys for a walk. i missed Dilana and Josh and Luke.

    mark my words. i think if it wasn't for all her whining about taking the bad songs, they'd axe storm next. she's playing those guys pretty hard.

By sarah on Wednesday, August 23, 2006 - 12:02 pm:

By Spider on Wednesday, August 23, 2006 - 07:56 pm:

    I'm chiming in late, but I've only seen one episode of this show,
    and that was the one in which Storm Large (please) sang "We Are
    the Champions," and the the judges licked her up and down for
    "showing her range" or whatever on that song, which is totally
    bogus because *I* sing that song (it was stuck in my head for a
    few days last month), and I have no range at all. It is not a hard
    song to sing. And she didn't belt it out or anything -- she just
    sang it in a strange warble. I was underwhelmed.

By moonit on Wednesday, September 6, 2006 - 11:04 pm:

    I've totally gone off Dilana. QUIT WHINING. Jeez. Build a bridge and get over it.

    I actually voted last night. If there was a kiwi on it, I'd be voting more no doubt.

    Go Toby!

By sarah on Thursday, September 7, 2006 - 03:56 pm:

    Toby isn't interesting enough as a personality.

    he doesn't have that rock 'n' roll sex appeal thing that they're gonna need to make up for the fact that Jason is the only thing that band's got going for them.

    Lukas is too small.

    Dilana, while I'm not into her at all, could do the job, but she's FEMALE. do you think those guys think they're gonna get the kinds of fans they want by having a woman being the lead singer? the bass player, yeah, sure. the drummer, definitely. but not the lead.

    it's so going to be Magni.

    and while axing Storm from the contest should have happened weeks ago, i will say that they sent her off with kind words, with grace, with respect. that was pretty cool.

By patrick on Thursday, September 7, 2006 - 04:30 pm:


    hey margie, any update on your mission to be more proactive in tooling for dick?

    *thats the second post about cock ive made in two minutes. thats very suspect*

By V on Thursday, September 7, 2006 - 05:12 pm:

    ,,,,you,re a poof. ehehhehheheh

By moonit on Thursday, September 7, 2006 - 09:22 pm:

    Sarah...box of candy bet?

    Magni sounds like Ed from Live. Thats why I reckon Toby. Lucas is too emo/young to front the band, and Dilana is too focused on herself.

By moonit on Thursday, September 7, 2006 - 09:27 pm:

    oh and wtf Cheap Trick isn't a punk band.

    Sex Pistols. Thats your punk band. Stupid huckery mole.

    I guessed she picked it cause the words would be easier to remember.

By wisper on Thursday, September 7, 2006 - 11:04 pm:

    Too young?
    Lukas is 30, and the 2nd oldest remaining contestant.

    Oh, i don't watch the show, i've never heard him sing. i just know this useless crap because the entertainment media here licks his balls. His poster ad for the show hangs in bus shelters.

    And omg he's the guy who sings the BeyBlade themesong. Hah.

By moonit on Thursday, September 7, 2006 - 11:06 pm:

    dammit wisper, I loved your Idol reviews, you could of had fun with rockstar ones.

    This is the only reality tv show I get to participate in with you guys because everything else they screen here years later.

By sarah on Thursday, September 7, 2006 - 11:36 pm:

    not too young, to little.

    and yeah, box of candy bet. you're on! i'll send you 10 reese's peanut butter cups if it's Toby.

By moonit on Friday, September 8, 2006 - 01:06 am:

    okay, what do you want if its Magni? 10 different NZ bars? Or were you the pineapple lump fan?

By agatha on Friday, September 8, 2006 - 01:24 am:

    I can't look at Lukas's face for very long- I find it very disturbing, especially his fucked up eyebrows. He has a nice voice, though.

    I really liked Storm. I must be the only one.

    It's probably going to be Dilana, even though she bugs the shit out of me. I'm thinking Dilana or Magni will end up leading that shitty-ass band.

By semillama on Friday, September 8, 2006 - 02:21 pm:

    I can't see Magni doing it. I'm surprised he's lasted this long. Of course, he bores the hell out of me.

    I can see them going with Toby, but I can't stand his voice.

    Skooter thinks it's going to be Lukas. I don't know. I was thinking Dilana, but it might be Lukas. It all depends on where the band wants to go with their music. Lukas might end up being the best choice - charismatic and "mysterious" and a good voice, the girls seem to dig him. Although I get the impression that they may want a more mature person, in which case I see it being Toby over Magni. It seems like Toby's songwriting is the most solid and fits best with what I've heard of the band's music.

By semillama on Friday, September 8, 2006 - 02:22 pm:

    Speaking of rock: I saw Chuck Klosterman in the Great Southern Hotel in Columbus this morning, waiting for his limo to the airport.

By V on Friday, September 8, 2006 - 09:04 pm:

    ....CHRIST,cloned again,v does not laugh like a Witch,all that EH,HE,HE,HE,HE,cackle,cackle, is not my style at all.

By moonit on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 04:58 pm:

    Well I was disapointed in last nights show, I thought Dilana was good, but I still don't like her. The rest sucked big dogs balls.

By semillama on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 06:20 pm:

    Check in later to bitch about what a horrible choice they made...

By moonit on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 07:18 pm:

    heh, but I'm still 8 hours away from the show being aired!

By agatha on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 10:21 pm:

    I've changed my mind- now the toss-up in my head is between Dilana and Lukas. Toby is third runner up. I tried to get Dave to admit that he would like Lukas's voice if he never actually saw his face, but I failed as usual.

    It was just wrong to hear Dilana butcher the Police, one of my most favoritest bands ever.

By sarah on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 10:32 pm:

    okay, so i fucking missed the show last night and tonight. fuckity fuck fuck. i'm inferring from the last few posts that Magni got cut on Tuesday or something?

    i'm going to see if i can find who the winner is online, unless sem - you have mercy and email me the update.

By sarah on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 10:38 pm:

    nevermind. i found it.

    whew. i'm glad that's over.

By Spider on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 10:59 pm:

    Hey, are any of you watching Project Runway this

By agatha on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 11:05 pm:

    I swear I didn't know who won when I made my prediction. I'm so impressed with myself.

By agatha on Wednesday, September 13, 2006 - 11:06 pm:

    spidey: no.

By moonit on Thursday, September 14, 2006 - 01:07 am:

    dammit. We're about to have the final of season 2 pro-run Spidygirl. I freakin love that show, but I always ruin this kind of stuff for myself because of televisionwithoutpity.

By Spider on Thursday, September 14, 2006 - 02:23 am:

    I LOVE TelevisionWithoutPity. I would be lost without them.

    I had a dream about Tim Gunn last night. I can't remember
    anything about it, but if he was there, it must have been good.

    I'm seriously underwhelmed (to borrow Michael Kors' phrase) by
    this season's designers. I don't understand the Jeffrey love.

By moonit on Thursday, September 14, 2006 - 06:53 am:

    see I cant talk about this because ive only read the fourfour (http://www.fourfour.typepad.com/) reviews.

    after prorun finishes we've got the antm thing back. i love antm.

By eri on Thursday, September 14, 2006 - 10:27 am:

    I'm a sucker for antm too. I don't know why. I think it's cuz I like watching the chicks freak out over the stuff and then find awesomely artistic shots come out of it.

    My oldest daughters assistant dance teacher (say that ten times really fast) was on season 2, so I was glued.....

By sarah on Thursday, September 14, 2006 - 04:29 pm:

    Lukas. Lucas? whatever.

    i'm not saying he can't do the job, but he's just so Flock of Seagulls meets Huey Lewis meets Nickelback.

    moonit, i'll still send you some Reeces. i'll probably send them around late october, just to make absolutely sure they don't melt in the mail. by that time the temperature will be good for mailing chocolate w/out the need for dry ice packs.

    it's been downright lovely here with highs of only 92 degrees here. but still too hot to mail chocolate.

    now. what the hell is antm?

    nevermind. i don't want anyone else getting me interested in any more reality tv shows. i'm taking a break from that shit until the next season of A Simple Life.

By eri on Thursday, September 14, 2006 - 04:52 pm:

    ANTM....America's Next Top Model.....

    It's one of those things that you don't really want to admit you watch, but it's still a guilty pleasure kinda thing.

By moonit on Thursday, September 14, 2006 - 05:24 pm:

    sarah we can still do a swap :) october sounds good. My friend Tarn bought me back jolly rancher hot cinamon hard candys. I love them. I have restrained myself from eating them all at once.

By wisper on Thursday, September 14, 2006 - 07:36 pm:

    Newspaper headlines- "Canada Rocks!"


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