dating... and all that shit. Weeds: dating... and all that shit.

By Blindswine on Monday, January 11, 1999 - 07:46 pm:

    man, i'm thinking i should just break down and ask that cute little asian girl out. she's been giving me extra general tzo's helpings at ridiculous discounts for about a month now, and i dig how she scrunches up her nose and silently giggles when i say her name. she might be a little young for me, but fuck it. if late thirty-something seinfeld can get away with dating an 18 year old, me dating a 21 year old shouldn't even be an issue... although i tend to go older instead of younger, my tendencies have gotten me nowhere but screwed in the past...

    maybe i should re-word that...

    anyway, if i ask her out, i'll be breaking a long-standing personal policy: No Dating.
    I hate dating. I hate anything that can even be construed as dating. Any activity that involves forced-intimacy is out. Loosely sharing public space is about as far as i go; if things are working out, great. if not, i'm making a quick excuse and disappearing into the masses. Life is too short to be grinding your teeth through a bad date...

    but it's not like i can remember... i haven't properly asked a woman out in ages. i decided a long time ago that the whole process of persuing women and then trying to convince them that you're worthy of talking to/chilling out with/sleeping with is not only a pain in the ass, but also downright demeaning.
    fuck that.
    let's even out the workload.

    it worked for a while. kind of. the problem with the "take what falls in your lap" approach is that... well... you only get what falls in your lap. i met the only woman i've ever really loved that way, and we were together for 3 1/2 years. (4/23. DAMN!) but other than that it's been mostly ghost-women and bad sex.

    interestingly enough, this ends up being the same result i get with the "go after what you think you want" approach.

    it's all trouble.

    and to top the whole bloody mess off, i've recently been informed that i have "issues" with women. pffffft. i don't know any sane, heterosexual man who doesn't have "issues" with women. but apparently some recent events involving, among other things, a friend being infected with HIV by his "sexually explorative" girlfriend (read: ho w/ a liberal arts degree) have brought these "issues" to the forefront. the verdict is that i have become passive-aggressive towards women... which i guess is pretty much true. for the past couple of months i've just been ignoring them with a hint of mistrust for good measure.

    all of them except that cute little asian girl...

    shit. i'm rambling again.


By Blindswine on Monday, January 11, 1999 - 08:06 pm:


    i just realized that i've reached a pretty sad situation if all it takes to reel me in is cheap chinese food.


    move along folks...

    there's nothing here to see.

By Harloquin on Monday, January 11, 1999 - 09:48 pm:

    ask her out.
    go someplace and loosly share social space.
    let us know how it goes.

By R.C. on Tuesday, January 12, 1999 - 01:13 am:

    She's Asian, 'Swine. And if she's 1st generation/ then you'd better KNOW that you can't treat her like some casual trick (not to say that you wd/I'm just warning ya). I used to know a Fillipino guy that only dated Whitegirls that looked like they just stepped outta the J.Crew catalog. His rationale being: "I can't date an Asian girl unless I'm willing to marry her. Their fathers will slice you up into dumpling-stuffing if they think you're just fucking around w/their daughters. Unless they're at least 2nd generation."

    She's obviously shy/since all she does is hook you up w/extra portions w/out any rap on the side. So R.C. says: Remember Your Old-School Home-Training. Bite the bullet & ask her out on a proper date -- even before asking for her phone #. If she says yes/then give her YOUR digits & then ask for hers. (She just may demur/ simply becuz maybe she lives w/her parents & doesn't want to go thru the 3rd Degree if a man calls her at home.) If she gives up the digits/or says she'll call you/invite her for a casual public outing -- the movies & coffee afterwards (so you can talk abt the movie.) And let her call to accept. Then make it a point to ask her what's playing that she'd like to see/before deciding on the movie. First dates shd always be the lady's choice. And be sure you escort her home -- even if it means forking over cabfare in both directions. In short/ treat her they same way you'd want a man to treat yr sister on a 1st date. (Which is how you shd treat any woman on a 1st date.)

    Then see how it goes. She may turn out to be boring as shit. Or she may have more to say than you ever dreamed possible. You dunno til you ask her out.

By R.C. on Tuesday, January 12, 1999 - 01:29 am:

    [Yeah I know -- sounds like too much work. But think 90's-Retro Dating-Rituals -- pretend yr a 50's guy asking a girl (& she sounds too young to qualify for womanhood) out on a 1st date. I was serious abt thinking abt how you'd want a guy to treat yr sister.]

    I/for one/am tired of going Dutch/driving myself to the date & driving myself home/just to make sure I don't get caught out there w/Ted Bundy's cousin. I want a guy who's willing to at least pick me up from work (so he won't know where I live yet). Then/I'll drive myself home from the parking lot at my job/& decide the next morning whether or not he's cool enuf to know where I live.

    The point is/I want the guy to make a little effort to see me/beyond just showing up & the designated place & time/y'know? I think every woman does.

    (Then again/I'm no longer a city girl/so taking the train is not part of the equation. In FL/ everybody drives. Unless their cataracts are too bad.)

By Blindswine on Tuesday, January 12, 1999 - 12:44 pm:


    dating 101.

    is it too late to drop this course without the grade-point penalty?

    actually, she's not really all that shy. yeah, she kind of giggles when i say her name, but i think it has more to do with the way i pronounce it than anything else. (i'm a ham)

    the girl is game-tight. (c'mon, give a brotha some credit. i'm not trying to crib-snatch some defenseless, quivering young thing)
    she's going to school to be a forensic pathologist. she's smart, cute, and cracks me up.

    and as far as the asian thing, i spent some time over in asia. i can handle pops.
    besides, they don't put pork in those dumplings.

    do they?

By Xena on Tuesday, January 12, 1999 - 05:06 pm:

    C'mon boy, ask her out!! It doesn't have to be a total datey date date, ask her like when she gets off work and ya wanna go fer a cuppa coffee sometime? If you know she's trying to become a forensic pathologist I can guess you've chatted w/ her a bit. I usta be a lot more a-scared of dates but I tried to put them in my mind as 'being friendly', like 'lets go hang around' and that broke me a bit. Imagine the amount of free food you'd get if she likes you. <wink>, that in itself should make it a good idea. You already like her so go go go. I have a strong hunch it won't be suffering.

By Blindswine on Tuesday, January 12, 1999 - 05:32 pm:

    i've got it all covered.

    trust me.

By R.C. on Tuesday, January 12, 1999 - 09:43 pm:

    Tune in next week for the update. May The Force be with you, 'Swine.

By Agatha on Wednesday, January 13, 1999 - 01:21 am:

    awwww, she sounds really cute. and smart! and, you know her name, as well as her life plan already. and she makes you laugh! sounds like the basis for, at bare minimum, a good friendship.

    it's nice to see you distracted, swine. i rather like it.

By Pink Eye on Saturday, January 16, 1999 - 08:11 am:

    We're all waiting...............

By R.C. on Saturday, January 16, 1999 - 11:10 pm:

    And of course/'Swine will keep us waiting ad infinitum. Just for the power-trip.

By Pink Eye on Wednesday, January 20, 1999 - 08:46 am:

    ...........and still waitng..........

By Agatha on Wednesday, January 20, 1999 - 11:31 am:

    read "what are you doing?" there's an update there.

By Pink Eye on Wednesday, January 20, 1999 - 12:12 pm:


By Pinetop Perkins on Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 05:17 pm:

    So what happened with the cute Asian chick?

    I mean, are you still getting the free food hookup, or what?

By J on Friday, January 21, 2000 - 03:47 pm:

    I heard she took up with some kind of half human,half satan looking creature,it could have been a man wearing Satan,s severed head though.

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