sorabji.com: Weeds: IGNORENCE APPALS ME

By Czarina on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 10:53 am:

    "J", We were awakened yesterday morning at 6:30 with a horrid phone call,my 20 year old nephew had taken a pistol and placed it to his temple and fired.Of all my southern family,I would have told you this would be the least likley member to do such a thing.He was a kind,gentle soul,always had a smile on his face,laughed at life,would literally do anything to help anyone,stranger or friend.As the horror of this hit me I had to question why such a gentle soul would be compelled to do such a thing.Well, I can tell you why.Ignorence.Plain Southern Ignorence.Not this gentle boys ignorence,but those around him.I hate the fucking homophobic, ignorent,illeterate,innerbred,cousin fucking,sister marrying lot of them.Apparently,he was having some gay thoughts,and felt he couldn't bear the loss of his familys respect.So he ended his life.I am so angry.I want to get in this familys face and scream,no SCHREECH, that you did this,as surely as if you had pulled the trigger yourselves,with your sugar coated southern platitudes,that are so shallow they couldn't even be considered skin deep.Of course,I won't do this,[though,if I did perhaps,I could be in your "crulest thing"category],I won't add this burden to this familys grief as they mourn for their lost child.Such a useless loss of life for such a gentle boy.I know my husband sees the horror in my eyes as I look at him accusingley,and I warned him to steer clear of me last night because he didn't want to hear what I had to say,because it was cruel and it was words he would never be able to forget.My tounge is sharp,and drips with venom,like a serphents,wanting to lash out at whatever is closest,to throw the ugliness of this situation into their faces.I won't do this to this wounded family,and have isolated myself to shelter them/myself from my wicked tongue.Today,I will have to go to the funeral home to bid good-by to this thoughtful boy who always had a smile for me and mine,and always a helping hand,no matter what I needed.You know,its ironic,the world is full of wisened,cynical people like myself,who hold no expectations from mankind,and therefore are seldom shocked by the atrocities performed by this so called higher species,and yet its a young innocent soul who has to pay the price.I'm so angry "J", and I don't want to go and say good-by to this kind child.I'm crying now,and have to go pull myself together so I can go and do this thing that that I don't want to face.
    And FUCK YOU ALL----- cyberspace is free
    and if you don't like me taking up your precious space,too bad for you.

By Waffles on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 11:51 am:

    i understand czarina, i really do, I am really sorry for the loss and I share your anger

By J on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 12:04 pm:

    Czarina,if you want to talk,just call me and I,ll
    call you back.The South,I tried so fucking hard to
    get away from those kind,I,ll never get over you
    going there on your own,not to mention how you
    could stand to be away from B and me.Maybe now is
    not the time to tell these people how they might
    as well have pulled the trigger themselves,but
    there is always later.I,m so sorry. My hotmail
    account works now.

By Pink on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 03:28 pm:

    Nothing I can say, or anyone for that matter, will place peace in your heart. It's alway saddening when some person chooses to give up. At times I think I would feel cheated if someone I knew wanted out and went through with it. But I could not hold my thoughts against them down the road, only because it was their choice, not mine. Usually by the time someone recognizes the troubles of the potential suicide personality, it's already too late. Remember him the way you do. He might have a better life now...you'll never know until that day when you expire. I'm sorry for your loss.

By Czarina on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 11:10 am:

    I just wanted to say thanks for the kind thoughts.Sweet Waffles,you'll never know how much I appreciated your thoughtful words,and Pink,perhaps you're right,and your words helped ease my pain."J",thank you too,I couldn't call because all I had was hollow words,and so much anger.I guess I needed time to heal.It has been a horrid week,my brother-in-law refused to let them bury his son,and refused to leave the funeral home,so for 3 days and nights,the family has been standing vigil with him.Finally,we were able to bury him,Wed.at 2pm.And we are all starting to get on with life.Southern funery rites are still so alien to me,its like a big party,hundreds of people constantly there,drinking coffee,eating doughnuts and telling amusing stories,[I told my husband,that under no circumstances do I want crumbs in my coffin,that he can just use my frequent flyer miles,and fly my happy ass home!].
    I confessed to another of my brother-in-laws that I was glad that I was not expected to stay thru the night at the funeral home,because I was afraid that my mischeivious nature would come out and I would of undoubtly done something inappropiate.He then told me it would of been okay,because they were all playing tricks on each other,too!These southerners are supersticious,and are brought up on stories of hauntings and sightings,and are scared of anything along that line.They are scared shitless to stay overnight at the funeral home.2 of my brother-in-laws had to use the bathroom,but were to scared to go by themselves,so finally agreed to go together and not scare each other,well my husband hid outside the door,and when they opened it to come out,he reached in and grabbed one of thems arms,they screamed so loud,one brother knocked the other one down to get out and didn't stop screaming till he got to his car,the screaming was so loud it scared the funeral man that had to stay there and when he saw them running out he ran out,too!And then they got Aunt Sadie,whos in her 70's and said lets go look at the coffins,so they were all looking,then they all snuck out,leaving her by herself,when she realized she was by herself,she said it was a good thing the door opened,because if it hadn't of,it was coming down!This is a fun loving family,and my dead nephew was a character himself,so I know he would have appreciated the humor.At the last family funeral,he told his uncle Charles that the funeral man had told him that a man in another room was to tall for his coffin,so they had to cut his feet off to make him fit in the coffin,Charles didn't believe him,so he told him to go see for himself,and he would guard the door so he wouldn't get caught,Charles went in and my nephew went and got the funeral man and said his uncle Charles needed to see him,as Charles lifted the little curtain to see if the corpse had feet,the funeral man leaned over to see what Charles needed,and scared him so bad he almost had a heart attack himself!I guess the reason I'm telling you this,is because it helps me to look on the lighter side.Well,my gentle nephew is buried now,and its time to get on with living.Thank you all again for your kind thoughts,they really were well recieved.

By J on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 12:11 pm:

    Tears and beers,that,s how my family funerals go.My nephew was killed in an automobile accident on St. Patricks Day some years ago,a handsome kid,that came out here from Chicago just to go to A.S.U like his uncle S.I loved him,got him a little black book,showed him around,he brought his girlfriends over for my o.k.,he was on the Deans list and looked like Adam Sandler.We ended up making the arrangements for the funeral cause his mother(one of the 2 people that I hate)is a cheap lowlife bitch,anyway his dad,stepmom.and fraternal grandparents stayed with us,for about 3 days,During the service(closed casket)his dad freaked out and was rocking the casket so bad that the people at the funeral parlor had to stop him.The accident was so bad,that we saw it on the news right when my ex-brother called us to tell us.I know where your coming from hon.

By Czarina on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 01:10 pm:

    Lets be done with this category.

By Pamela on Tuesday, November 9, 1999 - 01:13 am:

    Just a little note -- you spelled ignorance wrong.

By Cyst on Tuesday, November 9, 1999 - 01:16 am:

    and "appalls" isn't spelled right, either.

    perhaps the misspellings were intentional.

By Gee on Wednesday, November 10, 1999 - 10:01 am:

    That is so inappropriate.

By J on Wednesday, November 10, 1999 - 12:47 pm:

    Since when has that ever bothered us??? I just want everyone to know I have a spell check on this crappy webtv,I just can,t use it here for some reason.I took 2 pills that I got in Mexico and I,m all hopped up,buzzed,wired,and I feel fine.I love Mexico,the pharmacy we decided to get our drugs from had a doctor right there,I just showed him my list and he wrote the scripts right there.When we had to declare it at the border,I couldn,t stop laughing,it was all good.

By Travis on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 01:44 am:

    A woman shares a story like this, and instead of offering her your condolances and support, you pick apart her spelling?!?
    Where were you when kind words were needed? What good is pointing out grammatical errors going to do anybody now? What kind of people ARE you? Have you no respect?
    You disgust me.
    (J, that wasn't directed at you.)

By mistaswine on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 02:56 am:

    you can't teach a reptile to do human tricks.

    compassion will be a rare commodity in the new millennium.

    better stock up.

By on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 03:07 am:

    Will somebody please tell me if they think it's okay to try to get somebody fired from their job in response to a flamewar?

    Look, I don't care about convincing you MORONS to think for yourselves anymore, I just want out.


    Nobody but Antigone, Patrick and Fetidbeaver reads the other threads and I need to get my message out to the others.
    I don't want to be on this board anymore, I just want out.


    PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!



    I know you all hate me, but if you'll just call off the person trying to get me fired from my job, I'll go away.

    I still hate you all, but I'll go away, just STOP TERRORIZING ME!!!



    That's why I'm crossposting.

By . on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 03:40 am:

    And Travis, in answer to your question, they aren't people, they're sheep with opposable thumbs.


By _____ on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 03:45 am:

    yes please. erase the crazy bitch.

    oh, if only it were that easy. like molesting children, you can't take it back.

    tough shit, lucy. you could have dropped it long ago.


By Antigone on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 03:56 am:

    It is that easy. A quick perl script would do it. Mark should erase all of her posts, or at least remove her IP address from them, then erase the post where I made reference to where she posted from. She obviously wasn't aware that her IP address was included in every post, and has serious paranoia about that. (Or, at least the consequences of having her IP known.) I was suprised myself to find the IP addresses in the page source, but it doesn't bother me because I know that that kind of information is available anyway. Removing the IP's for Lucy's posts is within Mark's power. You know him personally, I take it. Could you ask him?

By _____ on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 04:09 am:

    he knows when you're sleeping.
    he knows when you're awake.
    blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah
    blah blah you know the rest.

    i don't think it really matters, and i don't think you're response was out of line, antigone.

    i wouldn't worry about it if i were you.

    if lucy suddenly came to her senses and is horrified, i say that's a perfect lesson.

By Antigone on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 04:19 am:

    Considering her response in the last few days (and the response as we type this..) I think she's actually mentally unstable, or at least quite disturbed. It might help to ease her anxiety if her posts were erased.

    I'm not saying this as a CYA. I'm rather confident that nothing I've done on these boards is legally suspect. I just think she might be genuinely distressed and would rather give her the benefit of the doubt.

By _____ on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 04:20 am:

    i understand that but if she would just shut up, it would all be over.

By Antigone on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 04:22 am:

    Yes and no. Her posts would still be on the boards (now from yet another IP...) and she might be paranoid that those IP's could be used against her. That conclusion seems logical from her prior (and current) behavior.

By _____ on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 04:27 am:

    regardless, it's her posts and nothing else that make people want to fuck with her. it has nothing to do with her original argument. i doubt anyone even remembers it.


By cyst on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 09:56 am:

    I didn't read the first post in this thread until just now.

    there is a lot here that I don't read. especially if there are no paragraph breaks. it's hard for me to read huge chunks of solid text.

    but this time I should have read before posting. sorry.

By Nate on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 10:38 am:

    "I think she's actually mentally unstable, or at least quite disturbed"

    most of us are. she just became the first "veteran" to become "clown of the moment."

    i agree with dave, if she drops it we'll have a new 'fuck you, you ass' to tear apart in no time, and this whole thing will be forgotten.

    i don't think Mark Thomas is of the mind to delete anyone's posts at this time.

    man, i love speculating on the thoughts of the Mark Thomas. it gives me a minor adrenaline shot and a have to peek over my shoulder for lightning bolts.

By Patrick on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 12:19 pm:

    i am too afraid too

By Sarah on Tuesday, December 28, 1999 - 03:30 pm:

    czarina, i'm sorry for your loss. so tragic...

By J on Wednesday, December 29, 1999 - 10:53 am:



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