Trash Novels Weeds: Trash Novels

By Cat on Thursday, September 14, 2000 - 04:23 am:

    It is a little known fact that trash novels, combined with comforting doses of chocolate and lots of sympathy can cure flus. I am still dying, but I have struggled from my diseased bedchamber because I had to share this with you before I went quietly into that good night..

    "Her eyes slowly closed as she yielded to her dream of love. She forgot to stiffen and there no longer lurked in the corner of her mouth that defiance he had seen there so often. Her lips parted as her breathing grew rapid. No longer was she the enemy. Tenderly he explored her, and with the thrill of discovery he realised she was leading him to even more ravishingly mysterious prospects. The moment was approaching for their transcedent transfiguration, for him to pluck the taut strings of her tantalising womanhood and make it sound with the glorious music so long denied him. He must be patient, so delicately exquisite a thing it was to do. Every inch of his virile mastery was aroused as he advanced towards a goal which did not retreat from him.

    (yada yada yada...comparisons to wounded bewildered animals etc.)

    First quivering and then steeped in langour, rolling their heads from side to side gently and rhythmically as they lolled on the pillow of their golden hair, they separated slowly from each other reaching that dim floating region where two beings mould into one." (Angelique and the King)

    Next time someone is mean to me, I'm going to say: "Well why don't you just go pluck the taut strings of your mother's tantalising womanhood"

    If I survive, I might give you the rest tomorrow. Or maybe someone else would care to take artistic licence with it.

By Isolde on Thursday, September 14, 2000 - 07:18 am:

    Wow. I never realized trash novels could be so fun.

By semillama on Thursday, September 14, 2000 - 12:48 pm:

    I 'm surprised you didn't get even sicker.

By Isolde on Thursday, September 14, 2000 - 01:03 pm:

    I was ill this morning until I read that excerpt.

By N.b. on Thursday, September 14, 2000 - 11:53 pm:

    somewhere around here i must still have "the odious duke"... a classic... where is he...

By Pez on Friday, September 15, 2000 - 12:35 am:

    trash novels are funny...

By Cat on Friday, September 15, 2000 - 01:28 am:

    Aw come on Sem...admit it. It turned you on. I bet you became a full llama just reading that.

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