Yak and Bunny

sorabji.com: Dreamland: Yak and Bunny

Deechimpanzee on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 01:57 pm:

    So... Yak and Bunny (the Zen-cowboy dynamic duo of my dreamlife) are walking through the city and they come to a factory completely staffed by Limes (well, other citrus fruits as well, but primarily limes). And the limes are all outside the factory, and upset and shouting and generally causing a rucus. And Yak and Bunny stop to see what's the matter.

    Bunny says: "What's going on, Limes?"

    And the nearest lime says, "Oh, Yak and Bunny! Thank god you're here. This factory is owned by Kathie Lee Gifford; our job is to sew shirts for the Kathie Lee Gifford collection at K-Mart. But Kathie Lee has decided that eight-year-old kids from Micronesia can sew shirts better and more inexpensively than we can. So she's closing the factory and moving it to Micronesia and we're all gonna lose our jobs. What are we gonna do?" And then the poor lime burst into tears.

    Yak and Bunny looked at each other in dismay.

    And Yak said: "Don't cry, lime- even if your tears have a pleasantly lemony smell that I find refreshing. Let me ask you: has Kathie Lee Gifford ever come to your factory and measured how efficient you are?"

    And the lime brightened, slightly. "Well, no Yak. She hasn't!"

    "Well then- that's the solution to your problem," said Bunny. "Get Kathie Lee to come here and see the work that you do!"

    So Kathie Lee Gifford comes to the factory the next day. And she brings with her an eight-year-old kid from Micronesia named Lo Fee. And she decrees that there will be a shirt sewing contest between Lo Fee and one of the limes; the one that sews a shirt the fastest will get to keep the factory.

    Despite the fact that Lo Fee has amazing incentive to win (considering that the Asian economy has been on a severe downturn since the collapse of the Yen last year and that Kathie Lee Gifford collection shirts have been selling like hotcakes at K-Marts all over the deep south), the lime sews a shirt measurably faster. So Kathie Lee declares in her best, scolding-Cody voice, that the factory will stay where it is; the limes will keep their jobs.

    And the limes are thrilled and turn to Yak and Bunny and say, "Thank you Yak and Bunny! We don't know what we would have done without your help!"

    And Yak and Bunny (who are ultra-zen in my dreams and don't seek self-serving things like praise) reply, "No limes- thank you for efficiently producing low cost clothing for overweight people with poor taste." And they start walking down the road.

    And somewhere down the road, Bunny turns to Yak and says, "Well Yak, it just goes to show!"

    And Yak says, "It certainly does... a stich that's timed saves limes."

By Deemonkeyman on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 03:45 pm:

    "stitch" That is.

By Kymical on Monday, May 29, 2000 - 04:13 pm:

    hmmm..yes indeed...

    although i like limes, i am more for eating them than saving their little jobs.

    i like them all lounging around getting fat so i can eat them. i prefer the lime to the lemon.

    while Baron Chaos likes to throw grapefruits at passing cars.


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