Dreams of Bad Men

sorabji.com: Dreamland: Dreams of Bad Men

By Tom on Monday, September 25, 2000 - 04:25 pm:

    I dreamt (last night) of my stepfather. I never think about him. He was the standard abusive, right-wing, Xtian idiot.

    In the dream, I overheard him talking with a friend of his about dumping some drugs in the local water supply. (great shades of final fantasy!) I can't remember what drug it was, though... I kept calling it "frost," and getting upset that I couldn't remember the correct name for it. My mother wouldn't listen to me (I think I was back in my teenage years, in the dream) because I couldn't remember the name of the drug. I wonder if maybe it was "snow," from "snow crash." I remember thinking that "snow" meant cocaine, so it couldn't be that.

    Finally, after giving up on naming the drug, I confronted my stepfather. He was sitting at the computer, which he never does. He hates anything more complex than his rifles. I told him I knew about his plan to drug the water, and I was going to call the police; he told me that the police wouldn't believe me unless I knew the name of the drug; I got really upset, and tried to tell him the name, but I lost it, again, and finally just started hitting him, but it seemed like there was some invisible wall between us, and I was pounding my fists against the wall, instead.

    At this point I started to wake up, and as I was halfway awake, I thought to myself "why not just tell the police to test the water for the wrong drug? surely, they'll find drug that IS there."

    I remember that when I was 12, I was going to call Children's Protective Service about him, after he'd grabbed me by my neck and throttled me while shaking me around. He told me that he hadn't left any marks on me, so they wouldn't do anything.

    And I bought it. I didn't call, and it took me 4 years to realize that if I had just called and reported him, they WOULD'VE come, and done SOMETHING. I'd been suckered by his lame logic, his "adultness," and the fact that I was scared shitless of him.

    Ever since I figured it out, I wasn't scared of him, and he started leaving me alone. I didn't tell him; I just stopped worrying, and I think he sensed it. I've never had any respect for people who claim to be right just because they're adults, either.

    wow. holy "I don't know why I just got into that," batman!

By J on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 01:36 am:

    They have laws to protect kid's now,they didn't when I was young.I was locked up for being incorrigible,I never really did anything except lip off,and try to get away.

By Tom on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 04:30 am:

    Mine all happened maybe 10 years ago. in Northern CA, at least, the laws were already in place.

By Isolde on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 09:17 am:

    Yes, they were.
    My stepfather abused me too, and I didn't do anything about it either, because my own mother wouldn't listen to me. I ended up leaving the house and living with my father because it was less stressful for me. The problem with being in a small school is that any of the teachers who knew were afraid to do anything because they were my mother's friends, and they were afraid she might be angry with them. She was in denial.
    Fucking bitch.

By Nate on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 11:06 am:

    uh. Tom's 22?

By Isolde on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 11:26 am:


By Nate on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 11:39 am:


    that explains a lot.

By patrick on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 12:39 pm:

    he sure is hairy for a 21 year old.

By Isolde on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 12:42 pm:

    Yeah. He sure is.
    and I'm glad that much is explained, Nate.

By patrick on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 01:12 pm:

    sorry dude,

    didn't mean to point that out for her to lob around, it's just im the exact opposite, im 5 years older than you and it would take me 3 months to get a beard....or so i speculate...i've never actually tried.....

By Nate on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 01:14 pm:

    you have small balls?

By patrick on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 01:29 pm:

    actually nate i have huge nuts.....nico made the comment recently that i looked like an old man cause it was a particuarly hot day and well they were hangin.....as soon as she made that comment though...

    ..im just not the hairy type....

By Nate on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 01:50 pm:

    they must not be producers, i guess.

    nice to talk about your package again, though.

By patrick on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 02:02 pm:

    thank pal

    i'd love to think im shootin blanks, but isguess thatsa sperm issue, not hormones...but if i were.... that would make money shots a little more enjoyable....

    how's your ass?

By The Dinner Lady on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 03:37 pm:

    Stepfathers suck. Mine is now divorced from my Mom so I finally had a reason to just stop talking to him. Oddly, I think our relationship got better when they split up, but after he stopped paying all my bills out of guilt we just didn't have enough in common anymore.

    He was a boozer. Our warmest moment was when my Mom was on a business trip and he and I went out for dinner. Chinese, scorpion bowl for 4, which he drank on his own, came back home and had an arguement where he told me if I didn't start treating him better he'd leave my mother. Luckily, at 20, I was old enough to know he was fucked and had called a friend's mother who was s psychiatrist the same night to talk me down, so I knew it wasn't me who was acting crazy. I stopped going home for summers from college then. My poor Mom, she just didn't know what was going on. Couldn't deal with why we couldn't get along. I didn't really see what I could say to her at that point.

    Later, after he left, I told her about what he had said to me. She told me about how once when I was away he got loaded and began threatening her so she grabbed a nightgown and the car keys and went to a hotel. She pulled out of the car with him screaming 'Don't you dare get in that car! Don't you dare drive out of here!' He wasn't the kind of guy you think of as an alchoholic though. A simmering businessman type who reads science magazines and breaks out into repressed hostility now with booze!

    Gee, and you wonder why my love life is so sucky. My Mom was a pro at frog-kissin'

By Tom on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 07:10 pm:


    As much as I hate tossing out straight lines like this:
    What, exactly, does my being 21 explain, Nate?

By Tom on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 07:11 pm:

    goin' bald already, though. Guess I'm running out of steam already?

By Cat on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 07:21 pm:

    I really prefer bald balls (you really wanted to know that, right?)...not enough men shave or trim their scrotum and it's really so much tastier when they do.

    But at the same time, I really hate it when men shave their entire pubic area. A little bit of friction is a lovely thing.

By Tom on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 07:54 pm:

    I hadn't *ever* thought of that. None of them ever complained, but by GOD, they should've. I'm gonna go trim my 'nad hair now.

    except that would involve getting a sharp object within inches of my most tenderest bits.

    to trim or not to trim? that is the question.

    Do y'all shave yer pubes?

    I can imagine the look on her face if I did. She'd give me that look. the one that says "are you *really* the same guy?"

    I love people who try really hard to be blase / liberal, but don't pull it off. Really. It's sorta charming.

By patrick on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 07:55 pm:

    HEY!!!! *waving* ...over here......

    i shaved das nutz this weekend....i agree with you, its much nicer when i grope myself while driving.

By patrick on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 07:58 pm:

    yeah i was a little nervous putting a blade down there, at first.... but then again, a blade cruises over my jugular once a week so.....just take your time, plan on spending a good 20 minutes or more....

By Isolde on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 07:59 pm:

    Wow, Patrick. I think I'm going to go post that on someone's door now. I don't know whose. but I'll find the door it's meant to be on.
    I found a house! All my own! I look at it tommorrow.

By The Dinner Lady on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 08:58 pm:

    Ooh tell us about the house!

By Isolde on Tuesday, September 26, 2000 - 10:04 pm:

    I haven't seen it yet. But there are no Pakistanis. It's basically a glourified hole.

By J on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 02:51 am:

    You say your going to live in a glory hole?

By Nate on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 10:00 am:

    mmm. glory hole.

By Isolde on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 10:17 am:

    Yup. Pretty much.

By blindswine on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 10:33 am:


    i dig pakistani glory holes.

By Isolde on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 10:43 am:

    I eat pakistani glory holes for breakfast.

By patrick on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 11:47 am:

    im looking for Tokyo lucky holes.

    im sorry isolde, what exactly are you going to post on someones door? i have copyrights you know.

By Cat on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 04:52 pm:

    I like spicy holes.

By patrick on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 05:43 pm:

By Nate on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 06:12 pm:


By Mavis on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 06:16 pm:

    pussy eat fire!
    pussy eat snake!!!

By pez on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 07:21 pm:

    oh my. oh friggin' my.

By patrick on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 07:35 pm:

    i will educate you now

    Tokyo Lucky Hole......a term for a popular item in japanese sex clubs on the early 80s. Similar to our "glory holes" the main difference being they were more playful about it......they had large lifesize wood cutouts, like you see at a fair...where you stick your head in....but they used contemporary pop stars and icons......and well you stuck your peter in, there was a worker on the otherside, baddabing baddaboom...

    Araki is one of Japan's most reknowned photographers, he's fucking amazing....and that book documents the sex club trade in the early 80s before gov't in Japan clamped down. No more Lucky Holes. They still have panty-less coffee shops though.....

    discuss amongst yourselves *swirling hand motion*

By Kalliope on Wednesday, September 27, 2000 - 08:12 pm:

    the chick pea is neither a chick nor a pea!

    wait. it is.

    so that reminded me of when i first moved to richmond. i knew nothing about the city at all...and had to go apartment hunting. well, it was a two day thang'...so we had to get a hotel room. we looked up on the web and found the belmont. i called and made reservations...

    which was sort of silly once we got there...

    there was a little mexican woman behind the glass counter who took your money. the woman in line in front of us had hair higher than marley and a rather large ass crammed into rather small tight jean mini shorts. i, of course, couldnt help but eavesdrop.

    "how much for an hour?"
    "los pollos" (really--i have no idea what she responded)
    "ok, i'll go tell him"

    at which point high hair pranced away smacking some wrigleys between her semen-stained little teeth.

    so now it's my turn....

    "uhhh, i think imade reservations...."
    "fifty dollars. you want hot tub?"
    "only five dollar more for hot tub."
    "hot tub real nice. only five dollar more."
    "you sure you no want hot tub?"

    so i finally talk her into giving me the key. we proceed to the room. that's when we meet mr. 40-in-the-paper-bag-man.

    "You stayin here?"
    "um, yup."
    "It real nice. I here last night."
    "goody." (no, i don't think i really said that....)

    We get inside and the walls are covered in mirrors from floor to ceiling. There wasn't even a dresser...just a huge bed in the middle of this mirrored room...

    so i did what any good 20 year old american girl would do in the situation...

    call me ms. sexpot.

By J on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 09:44 am:

    My s/o and I stayed at a sleazy hotel once,the kind that show porn movies,we had come down from the dam,and for some reason I can't remember now,we didn't want to stay with our parents.We had just got checked in,when I noticed two guys,one holding a role of toilet paper and a german shepard getting a room.I obsessed with that all night.

By Czarina on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 10:46 am:

    Oh my!Unfortunately,my imagination is just a little to vivid on this one.

    Phoenix update:
    Dumps grounded Punkin-----don't you love it!

By J on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 11:53 am:

    What happened,she catch her going through her purse?I just sent you a e-mail before I got here.Really what happened?Pumkin called me yesterday,but I didn't pick up,a little bit of her goes a long way.

By patrick on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 12:06 pm:

    sooo.....Kalli, i don't get it, you hung around to shag 40-in-the-p[aper-bag-man? Was the sex free since you paid for the room? You say "we" but you don't specify who you are wth?

    What kind of beer was in the bag?

By Czarina on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 12:46 pm:

    To make a long story short,while Punkin was staying with my mom,Barry's mom was throwing a birthday party for his dad,200+ guests,and somehow Punkin was helping cater it.Well,one of the helpers didn't show up,so she goes and gets Bud,to help.[I'm picturing this scenario in my mind,and it is really scary!!!]So apparently,she borrowed my moms car,and told her that she would be back around 1:00am.[now keep in mind,Punkin did come willingly,and stayed 1.5 weeks to help her].So 1:00am rolls around,and no Punkin.She finally tracked her down at her house,and Punkin explained
    to her that she didn't want to be driving between 1:00 and 2:00,cause "thats when all the drunks are out".Admittedly,that is a piss poor excuse,and she really should have come up with a more creative one.Cause I have no doubt in my mind,that, she herself was high and drunk.She told me she let Bud "buy his first beer with his own money that he had earned."So maybe it was a *bonding* thing[and thats another scary thought].
    Anyway,when Punkin finally gets back,she finds one of my moms famous notes,"I love you Punkin,but the car is grounded,please leave the keys and the credit cards on the counter.Love Mom."

    So Punkin did the only thing an adult woman could,she packed her shit and went home.When she told me,I was in hysterics,cause I can't tell you how many notes like that I've gotten over the years!I asked what Corky thought of it,and she said he didn't see the humor of it.[of course,he has no personality to begin with.]

    Am sooooo looooooking forward to this trip,I bet I don't make it 2 days without getting grounded!!!!

By The Dinner Lady on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 01:04 pm:

    Richmond has the loveliest Krispy Kreme there. I used to go there with my ex. Ah, them was the days.

    He just got married. Not to me. Tho I initially felt upset, I've moved to feeling oddly relieved about it now. I mean, his new wife is no looker and I hear she is no fun. I actually feel a bit sorry for him. But hey, maybe that's why we split up. Because he was looking for someone less fun and less cute to spend the rest of his life with.

    Yep, that's it.

By patrick on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 01:08 pm:

    his band went to crap too, feel good about that

By The Dinner Lady on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 01:13 pm:

    You warm my heart

By J on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 01:21 pm:

    I can't wait till Dump's get's her credit card statement.

By Tom on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 03:47 pm:

    An Antithesis Synthesis:

    Richmond is a Dump.

By patrick on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 04:22 pm:

    i thought Richmond pretty neat while i was there. Has an old school new england city layout, around the river, old school shop fronts, and the music scene at one time or another was pretty ok......the college helps to keep it from being a complete bunghole southern industrial town.

By Nate on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 06:22 pm:


    richmond, CA sucks ass.

By patrick on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 06:24 pm:

    never heard of it, muchless been there...so...no, im talking about Richmond VA

By Isolde on Thursday, September 28, 2000 - 06:36 pm:

    All cities named richmond suck.
    That settles that.

By Tom on Friday, September 29, 2000 - 04:21 pm:

    I was talking about Richmond CA.

    shows what I know.

    There is no reality outside of California. Sorry, kids.

    Shows what I get for not knowing any better.

By Isolde on Friday, September 29, 2000 - 06:45 pm:

    I miss California and my real house so much right now.

By patrick on Friday, September 29, 2000 - 07:15 pm:

    so come the fuck back, why did you leave

By Isolde on Friday, September 29, 2000 - 10:11 pm:

    Because I'm an idiot. I actually really like it here, but occasionally I'm possesed with a need for ocean and real trees and things like that. I just watched "The Graduate" (I talked about it on some other thread) and the shots of LA and Berkeley made me get all sentimental. Geek boy laughed.

By pez on Saturday, September 30, 2000 - 03:25 am:

    i just found out that my coworker lived just down the street from me when we were really little. i like it when funny little things like that happen.

By Isolde on Saturday, September 30, 2000 - 11:14 am:

    It's eerie, isn't it? I've had that happen a few times. It's just wierd to think that in one context, you don't give a shit about some person, and in another, you meet. Funky. Anyway. Off to find food.

By Bell_jar on Saturday, September 30, 2000 - 12:07 pm:

    something not so funky, but funky to me.

    i stayed with this guy that i didn't know in nyc. come to find out, he attended ku and was in their production of HAIR. my senior year in high school my two dear friends and i ventured up to lawrence to see that production of HAIR.

    so in a sense i saw this guy four years before i met him in nyc.

    i wonder how many times in life this really happens. you meet someone or see someone in passing that later becomes a fixture in your life.

    how odd.

By pez on Saturday, September 30, 2000 - 06:25 pm:

    someone moved to my fourth grade class in the middle of the year. turned out she lived about five houses down the street from me before i moved the previous may. i didn't know her because we both were not quite on the line between elementary schools.


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