Bad Things/Come in Threes Dreamland: Bad Things/Come in Threes

By Isolde on Thursday, October 26, 2000 - 11:27 am:

    I guess I should have been warned. I don't like to say I have premonitions or I'm all psychic and shit, but when I dream about death, death happens.
    I'm in a big culvert, one I can coil up inside of, and it's dark. Then there's a flash of light, I snap my head around and there's a man in the culvert, bleeding every which way. I'm wearing a white dress and it rips when I lean over.
    Wake up. Check my email. Friends #2 and #3 in the past three days to die. Olaf had cancer, he built his own coffin. I remember the last time I saw him we had tea together in his house, filled with his crazy art, and talking about music. Lisa the Lawyer was in an accident on 101, died instantly (or so they say, what is instant when you face eternity). Lisa and I played Monopoly together a lot, which sounds odd, but she and my father and would get together and play. And she's pantse us every time. First Michael, now this. You just can't win.

By TBone on Thursday, October 26, 2000 - 11:53 am:

    Hugs, Isolde.

By Isolde on Thursday, October 26, 2000 - 12:06 pm:

    Boy Howdy, I need 'em. Maybe I'll go to geek boy's and watch the Dukes of Hazzard until my brain bubbles out my ears while he's at work. That would be excellent. *sigh* But has anyone noticed this pattern? Or is this just me? Because every time someone dies, two more drop off too. Now I'm paranoid. I don't want to sleep, I'm afraid I'll dream about death again the the whole cycle will begin all over again like last summer. We must have lost some 15 in a month at one point. It was insane.

By pez on Thursday, October 26, 2000 - 04:21 pm:

    yikes. i'd never be able to deal with that. sylvie's purring for you.

By Isolde on Thursday, October 26, 2000 - 04:47 pm:

    Yay. I'm glad. I'm also glad that Hans is making 8x10 prints of my kitties this weekend.

By Bell_jar on Friday, October 27, 2000 - 10:48 am:

    last winter my aunt died, then my uncle, then my grandfather. things do happen in threes.

    my great-uncle died four days ago.

    a cousin is in a coma on the verge of death, will they shut off the machines?

    my mother is next on the list.

    i'm going to see her today. i hope she makes it through this three. the doctors say it's just a matter of weeks, but what do the batards know? a few weeks ago they said it was just a matter of days.

    i'm sorry miss isolde.

By Isolde on Friday, October 27, 2000 - 11:40 am:

    Me to, miss bell jar. I hope things turn out ok with your mother. *hug* It's very frustrating, I feel like I'm too young to be outliving people, you know?

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 12:57 am:

    I have premonitions 2 or 3 times a year,do you?want to know my forcast?

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:01 am:

    no thanks. i get inaccurate nonsensical forecasts from homeless seers every day. but thanks for offering. that's very kind of you.

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:05 am:

    Isolde is now dead.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:07 am:

    wrong again.

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:11 am:

    Jack,you are also dead.Why do dead people wish to talk with v.v. so much?

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:11 am:

    personally, i'm even less interested in your "premonitions" than i was (if that's possible; i.e., if one can get less interested than "NOT") now that you've exhibited even further inaccurate evaluations of present reality. way to go, v.v.

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:13 am:

    You are just ghosts in my machine.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:15 am:

    feel free to continue deluding yourself that that is clever. and that you're not pathetically creepy.

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:19 am:

    ...And you dont exist...

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:19 am:

    yes, that is a fine fantasy that you might enjoy.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:20 am: addition to the fantasies that you're not pathetically creepy and that your posts are clever.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:23 am:

    how slightly amusing that your posts this evening are contradictory: do you "enjoy a challenge" or not?

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:26 am:

    As i say... you dont exist,if you do,what are you?the remnant of a man?a mere wisp of cyberspace?For me,you are just an echo of somthing that may or may not have existed.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:29 am:

    is that supposed to be meaningful? as usual, you alternate between pretentious drivel and creepiness on these boards.

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:37 am:

    How can i talk with dust?

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:39 am:

    Yet why do you love me so much?

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:45 am:

    your fantasy that "love" is involved in this exchange is perhaps your most desperate construction yet.

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 01:58 am:

    JACK, ARE YOU GAY?Im not,so forget it.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 02:02 am:

    are you just posing as a teenager or are you really a teenager? or are you really a middle-aged creep who is only as mature as a teenager?

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 02:14 am:

    i'm leaning toward "sad, drunken, overweight, middle aged creep of teenage maturity." i don't like to be cruel, but when people are impolite.......

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 02:42 am:

    Jack,if your not putting me on,i dont have no beef with you,its just i thought you were some teenage punk out to get some cheap laughs at v.v.s expence,an just like you,i dont take shit from no one.Truce?

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 02:49 am:

    Get back to me soon bro.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 02:51 am:

    are you talking to me? get a grip.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 02:54 am:

    stop being so creepy to the women on this site and perhaps i'll buy you one vodka, maybe, your next time in manhattan.

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 03:00 am:

    Did we think we were both teenagers?I dont regard myself as old,but ive got to the stage where i dont have birthdays anymore.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 03:03 am:

    you haven't changed my impression.

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 03:04 am:

    Jack,this is gonna cost you TWO vodkas.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 03:05 am:

    for what?

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 03:08 am:

    i'd prefer that you stop acting so repulsively creepy but i'm not going to bargain for it. your interactions are up to you. it's you that lives with the consequences. really, i have nothing to do with it.

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 03:17 am:

    No jack,you have everything to do with it.You now owe me three vodkas,and im starting to think your a teenager (again)

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 03:25 am:

    Jack,WAKE UP, if v.v. can get by on 2 hours sleep a night,so can you.

By jack on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 03:32 am:

    yes, but i can't get by on predictable banter. sorry.

By V.v. on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 11:40 pm:

    SO, you want UNPREDICTABLE banter?i dont have a problem with this,i am a master of the art.

By Nate on Wednesday, November 26, 2003 - 04:38 am:

    no you aren't.

By V.v. on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 12:41 am:

    Yes i am.

By Nate on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 12:57 am:


By moonit on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 03:55 am:

    Jack will you marry me?

By V.v. on Thursday, November 27, 2003 - 10:19 pm:


By patrick on Friday, November 28, 2003 - 09:34 pm:

    cha ching

By patrick on Friday, November 28, 2003 - 09:35 pm:


By patrick on Friday, November 28, 2003 - 09:35 pm:

    ta DA!

By patrick on Friday, November 28, 2003 - 09:35 pm:


By V.v. on Saturday, November 29, 2003 - 01:22 am:

    I think you been at the vodka,even more than me.

By jack on Saturday, November 29, 2003 - 05:29 pm:

    why moonit, i'm flattered! i just hope joe never finds this thread.

By eri on Saturday, November 29, 2003 - 06:38 pm:

    VV You are obviously missing the point here. What they are saying above has absolutely nothing to do with how much vodka they have been drinking. They make perfect sense. They are just pointing out that you claim to be unpredictable and your reply is exactly what they predicted it would be. You're getting easy to figure out. Everyone can see your next move, thus making you a hemmorhoid instead of an enigma. If you want to be concidered intelligent, then don't be so predictable and easy to figure out.

By V.v. on Saturday, November 29, 2003 - 11:11 pm:

    ERI,so how long have you been a catholic?

By jack on Sunday, November 30, 2003 - 12:34 am:

    ...the predictable stupidity endures...

By moonit on Sunday, November 30, 2003 - 03:58 am:

    I think that he lurks but won't post.

By V.v. on Monday, December 1, 2003 - 12:18 am:

    Wanna bet?

By jack on Monday, December 1, 2003 - 12:31 am:

    she wasn't speaking of you, mr. fat, drunk, self-centered, and predictable.

By jack on Monday, December 1, 2003 - 12:44 am:

    and rude.

By moonit on Monday, December 1, 2003 - 03:33 am:

    oh i get it now - vv has to be the centre of attention.

By eri on Monday, December 1, 2003 - 04:28 pm:

    The center of attention with predictable nonsense.

    I love the predictable insults about being a Catholic....seriously. Like being called a Catholic is some kind of insult. Not only is the whole idea stupid as hell, VV's continuing repeditiveness shows a serious lack of ingenuity and a lack of being able to handle the truth.

By Spider on Monday, December 1, 2003 - 05:03 pm:

    Hello, V.V. Why don't you ask me how long I've been a Catholic? Why won't you acknowledge that you insult me?

By V.v. on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 12:36 am:

    Spider,strangely enough,i dont insult you.If a person is close to dieing,a Catholic minister is a blessing...but you are not there yet,and you have a chance to change...i have been where you are.You need to go far beyond what you are now.

By kazu on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 12:47 am:

    time for a little bit of the ultra-violence

By V.v. on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 12:55 am:

    Right on.Lull before the storm?

By kazu on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 01:03 am:

    i'd go off, but what difference would it make? i'm annoyed beyond inspiration.

    spider is my friend. v.v. sucks. spider is way cool. v.v. is not. if all catholics were like spider, they would take over the world, and squash v.v. like the nasty little buggy he is.

By semillama on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 10:16 am:

    Totally. Vv has ceased to be amusing and is now just sort of sad.

    In case you somehow missed it, Vv. Spider is Catholic. And holy cow! She hasn't even burned her first witch yet! Can you believe it? Spider, you slacker!

    Come on, I'm sure you can think of at least ONE witch you 'd love to burn....

By Spider on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 11:19 am:

    Nah, I believe in peace.

    V.V., you *do* insult me. True, I'm not hurt by your insults because I think you're a madman, but even you should be able to follow the logic of "I hate all Catholics" + "Spider is Catholic" = "I hate Spider."

    Not that I care. I'm just trying to get you to admit it.

By Spider on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 01:46 pm:

    This weekend, I tried to get my mother to admit something after we had a loud, long heated argument about it.

    She said, "OK, I admit it," and in the same breath continued to deny it.

    I tried to get her to see the futility of just saying the three words without meaning them, but she just kept on denying, denying, denying.

    It's really frustrating when people simply refuse. to. accept. what. is. staring. them. in. the. face.

By The Watcher on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 01:51 pm:

    Catholics weren't the only ones to burn witches.

By heather on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 01:52 pm:

    we could have some good and frustrating
    fights, you and me, spider

By Spider on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 02:14 pm:

    Well, I screw up a lot, but I do try to admit when I'm wrong. It's frustrating when you point something out to someone, they deny it, and then in the next sentence they speak, they do it again. Couldn't they just admit that, yes, they do that thing? Maybe say, "I'm sorry, I know I do that bad thing. I'm trying not to, but I don't always succeed." That's what I try to do.

By heather on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 02:49 pm:


By eri on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 04:38 pm:

    Spider, I call that "owning your own shit". I try to do the same thing. It's a form of taking responsibility for your actions, though sometimes you aren't even aware that what you are doing isn't the right thing.

    I have little patience in arguements with people who won't own their own shit. It drives me nuts. I keep thinking "Just be an adult and take responsibility for your own actions/words/whatever already." And then I get pissed off and usually don't talk to the person for a good long time, if ever.

By semillama on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 05:19 pm:

    "owning your own shit"

    That sounds like something Rollins would say. He did have this bit where he talked about being labeled a "decorator" because he lashed out in frustration at a airline employee. The decoration referred to was to smear his personal problems or "shit" over everthing.

By Spider on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 05:24 pm:

    Let me tell you what was going on in my mom's case.

    We had Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's house; my aunt's 50th birthday was also on 11/27. (This aunt is my mom's younger sister and they're six years apart.) OK, so my aunt naturally was getting a lot of attention at the dinner, as, duh, she was hosting it and it was her birthday. Several times during the dinner, my mom made weird non sequitors about feeling ignored or about having a bad childhood. OK, that's par for the course.

    The next night, my dad, mom, and I went back over to my aunt's house for leftovers. My aunt got my dad to talk about his childhood, which was pretty dang bad -- he talked (reluctantly) about how little he had, what it was like to be the poorest family in his poor village, not having a father, etc. (He didn't even have real bread to eat....his mother had to use sawdust instead of flour. That's the level of poverty we're talking about here.) My mom piped up a few times with statements like, "Well, nobody wanted me, either." and things like that, which the rest of us ignored.

    (Frankly, I think it's pretty fucking insulting and twisted for my mom to try to compare her childhood with my dad's, which she does *often,* and it really pisses me off that she's always trying to get sympathy for how she was mistreated. Nobody else in her family acts like that. My mom's siblings have all gotten over having a crazy mother, but my mom's still carrying on like she was still 12 years old.)

    So then on Saturday, my mom approached me and my dad with the idea that we all (her, my dad, me, and my brother) take a special trip for Christmas. Remember that my mom and dad have been divorced for a year. My dad said he wasn't comfortable with that idea, and my mom just would not acknowledge why that could be. He and I tried to point out to her that we were not a family unit anymore and that my dad wouldn't want to share a room with her -- hell, what person would want to sleep in the same bed with their ex?

    More arguing....eventually she got to a point where she was accusing the family of ganging up on her and saying her idea was stupid, because everyone was always against her. I lost my temper and yelled at her, saying I was sick of her always having to be the victim. She's not a victim! I brought up the conversation the night before, how she was perpetually trying to get sympathy. More arguing....then she denied that she was responsible for the divorce, because my dad was the one who signed the papers first. WTF? She was the one who left! She's the one responsible!

    More arguing...more denial on her part...denial denial denial...finally, I said, "Could you please stop playing the victim for once and take responsibility for the things you're responsible for?"

    She says, "OK, I admit it," and then in the same sentence goes on to accuse me of jumping on her when really she's blameless. I said, "You're doing it right now! You're acting like the innocent victim right now!" And then she just walks away from me and goes upstairs.

    I just re-read what I wrote here, and I can see how I could sound pretty callous. My mom did have an unloving family growing up, she was told many times that her mother never wanted her, her mother *was* mentally ill...all this is true and a real trauma. The problem I have is that my mom has refused to get any help, and she refuses to move on, and she continually tries to use her childhood as an excuse for her current problems. It's like she likes suffering needlessly. SO FRUSTRATING.


By kazu on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 05:40 pm:

    I understand where you're coming from. Obviously your mom has some very real problems, but that doesn't mean she can't be held accountable for doing and saying things that are inappropriate. I have an almost unlimited amount of patience when it comes to things involving mental illness and childhood trauma, but it is unbelievably frustrating when people won't get help.

By patrick on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 05:59 pm:

    if there ever is a just time to blow up at someone, i think this was one spider.

    i had a mentally ill dad, and a wacky childhood. its never ever been used as an excuse. if anything, its a source of strength.

    I don't think you were being callous. sometimes, people need blunt, direct and even angry redirects to realize how they are being. im willing to be you've been far more patient with your mom over the years.

By Antigone on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 06:00 pm:

    Sounds a tad like my mom during/after my parent's divorce. She would continually say that she couldn't understand why my dad was leaving and that the relationship problems were mostly his fault. She got therapy, and is more realistic now, able to see her own behavior. She can still be pretty self centered, though.

    I can understand your mom's desire to go on a trip together. I'm often wistful about my own family's breakup, even thought it's been almost five years. Both of my parents were at my sister's baby shower. It was the first time in years that the four of us were in the same room together. But my parents wouldn't stand together to get their picture taken, even with my sister and I between them. :(

By eri on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 09:25 pm:

    OK, Spider, I agree with what Kazu and Patrick both said, but I think I see this from yet another different angle. My mother is mentally ill. She refuses to accept this about herself. She is on the wrong medication. She is also an alcoholic. She literally scares me.

    My mother likes to play up how "well" my sister is doing, but I know better. When I give her simple truths without being short, or blunt, or callous or anything, instead being sympathetic, yet serious and calm, my mother plays the victim. Only she plays the victim of her own mistakes. She made her mistakes when raising my sister (of course she did perfect with me, hah) and because of her mistakes, she will be paying for them for the rest of her life.....

    It is so hard sometimes cuz you just want to yell and scream and bring them back to reality instead of a land of self induced delusions. You just want to shake them until they wake up. No whining, no pity parties, none of it. Just owning your own shit and dealing with it.

    My mother is too far gone to do this. And because she is in denial of her mental health issues, she is not getting help. My Dad does what he can, but lets her get away with way too damned much, cuz he doesn't have the balls to stand up to her, for her. He's afraid he will lose her if he does, and that would end his world. My mother was his first kiss, let alone anything else.

    But he does see reason, so usually when I have to do what you have had to do, I can say it to him. I have an escape that you don't. I am sorry, but I truly believe you did the right thing, and you weren't too harsh or anything.

    It isn't easy to deal with, and it gets frustrating as hell, but you did not do anything wrong here, and you weren't being too hard on her. Sometimes you have to slap someone in the face with a little reality and ask for forgiveness and then later they see that you did what you did or said what you said for the right reasons. With the right intentions. Making the right point. I hope your mother will see this in you.

By eri on Tuesday, December 2, 2003 - 09:25 pm:

    Oh, and Sem, who is Rollins????????

By J on Wednesday, December 3, 2003 - 11:11 am:

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