My old man, back from the grave. Dreamland: My old man, back from the grave.

By Pilate on Monday, July 23, 2001 - 04:20 pm:

    I had this dream about my father. He came to me as a ghost and told me he was really proud of what I've become. What a fucking riot. For all I've accomplished, he might as well be proud of moss growing on a rock. Anyhow it made me think a lot about him. The old man. I loved him and vice-versa but neither of us recognized it until it was nearly too late. He died when I was still in my teens, joining My Mother The Bitch in an early grave. Being orphaned was less traumatic than you'd think. I felt so mentally isolated that being physically alone wasn't even that difficult. But I miss the old man, I do, and wish he were here to see my kid.

    My dad never had anything to do with me until I was 15 and got into some trouble in boarding school. He came to pick me up and for the first time he really talked to me, man to man. He took me home with him which made it the first time since I'd hit school that I got to go home with one of my parents for any extended length of time.

    I told him about this kid at school, Jenkins, who was basically a happy idiot. Jenkins' father took him fishing, though, and his stories of fishing with his Dad made me jealous. Here's this little know-nothing kid who I'm outwitting academically, athletically and in all other conceivable directions but his goddamn Dad takes him fishing. How does a guy rate that kind of treatment? My old man wouldn't have taken me across the street, much less on an all-day fishing trip. Jenkins, that smarmy little bastard, I wanted to strangle him because his father loved him. I told all this to my old man (in the same conversation where I handed him the news that his only son was a faggot) and my Dad took me fishing. I was so happy out on the water that I felt enraged at my own idiocy, for feeling so happy about something that clean and pure. I shouldn't be that happy about anything that doesn't directly involve drugs or my dick.

    I've gotta take Brendan fishing. I hate fishing. I don't know much about it. But there's the old stereotype about a kid going out fishing with the old man that's just so damn wholesome. So my kid can put on his high heels and get his ass into the boat and we'll catch a bunch of catfish or galoshes or something.

    Anyway I miss my Dad and see him in my dreams sometimes. I know rationally that it's just a series of dreams but sometimes he does seem to come to me when I need him most. I'm always glad to see him even if he's just a spook whispering in my ear from the afterlife.

By Dougie on Monday, July 23, 2001 - 05:20 pm:

    Anything you want to know about fishing, I'm your man. Just e-mail me at

By Pilate on Monday, July 23, 2001 - 06:56 pm:

    Hey, thanks for the offer. I don't really know jack shit about fishing. Last time I went fishing was with this cop. He was my lover at the time. The whole exercise struck me as a bit absurd, but cool. Fishing with my dad was great. Fishing with my family would be interesting. Fishing with damn near anybody else just seems kind of odd to me, probably because I just don't do it very much. I'd have to be in the boat (or standing on the pier) with people who were quite aware of the fact that I don't know what I'm doing.....that I'm just there for kicks.

    I'd like to do one of those fishing trips that involves getting up at some ungodly hour. Catch a few fish before the sun comes up and get the hell out of Dodge. Go have breakfast at some truck stop. Go home and go back to bed, sleep all damn day. Now THAT'S fishing.

    It's not going to happen tomorrow or anything. And as hot as it is outside, I doubt it'll really happen until fall. But when we're ready to start ripping helpless aquatic lifeforms out of the water, I might drop you a line and ask what kind of gear would be best.

    Oswald wants to know if they make fishing poles with pink glitter. I told him they make fake worms with pink glitter. The boy's already color-coordinating the tackle. He's going to be a terror on the lake.

By heather on Monday, July 23, 2001 - 07:24 pm:

    my grandpa took me fishing

    i love fishing, but i don't like killing fish which is a lovely combination

    [pilate, new orleans? you will come? yes? and maybe bring crimson?]

By Pilate on Monday, July 23, 2001 - 07:32 pm:

    I can't make it to NOLA. I really wish I could be there but I'm already booked doing something else during that time frame. Crimson's already said that she probably isn't going to be able to make it, Pug is our only hope. Unfortunately, Puggins has no reliable transportation at the moment. Even if none of us can manage to pull off the New Orleans trip, we hope that you'll all get knuckle-scraping drunk and have a burger at the Clover Grill while thinking of us.

By semillama on Tuesday, July 24, 2001 - 09:26 am:

    You got it.

The Stalking Post: General goddam chit-chat Every 3 seconds: Sex . Can men and women just be friends? . Dreamland . Insomnia . Are you stoned? . What are you eating? I need advice: Can you help? . Reasons to be cheerful . Days and nights . Words . Are there any news? Wishful thinking: Have you ever... . I wish you were... . Why I oughta... Is it art?: This question seems to come up quite often around here. Weeds: Things that, if erased from our cultural memory forever, would be no great loss Surfwatch: Where did you go on the 'net today? What are you listening to?: Worst music you've ever heard . What song or tune is going through your head right now? . Obscure composers . Obscure Jazz, 1890-1950 . Whatever, whenever General Questions: Do you have any regrets? . Who are you? . Where are you? . What are you doing here? . What have you done? . Why did you do it? . What have you failed to do? . What are you wearing? . What do you want? . How do you do? . What do you want to do today? . Are you stupid? Specific Questions: What is the cruelest thing you ever did? . Have you ever been lonely? . Have you ever gone hungry? . Are you pissed off? . When is the last time you had sex? . What does it look like where you are? . What are you afraid of? . Do you love me? . What is your definition of Heaven? . What is your definition of Hell? Movies: Last movie you saw . Worst movie you ever saw . Best movie you ever saw Reading: Best book you've ever read . Worst book you've ever read . Last book you read Drunken ramblings: uiphgy8 hxbjf.bklf ghw789- bncgjkvhnqwb=8[ . Payphones: Payphone Project BBS . torturechamber . . receipts . contact