attack of the killer bathrobe Dreamland: attack of the killer bathrobe

By kazoointoit on Saturday, August 24, 2002 - 08:32 am:

    I'm used to having night terrors, those images that yank me out of stage four sleep, sweating, and screaming. Generally, they are very large spiders and/or spider webs, snakes, and more recently faceless X-Files type man-creatures sitting on my bed. I don't scream so much anymore though; I think I am getting used to them.

    Last night's was a little different. I jumped up and looked over at my door where some thing was hanging. There was a bathrobe in my room that was going to kill me. I jumped up and went over to the door and hit it twice until I realized that it was just a terry cloth towel. Still in my confused dream state, I reasoned that a terry cloth towel wouldn't kill me. Then I calmly turned the light on and went back to bed.

By spunky on Saturday, August 24, 2002 - 10:07 am:

By kazoointoit on Saturday, August 24, 2002 - 02:17 pm:

    I had a refridgerator that tried to kill me once. Well, not really. In any case, this was NOT a dream. Our fridge had a metal band that ran along the inside wall. One day I was putting away the orange juice and my hand was a slight wet and it got stuck to the metal band. (Remember why you aren't supposed to lick a flag pole in the winter.) So, I didn't know what to do. I figured some warm water would help but I couldn't reach the sink. I hated my roommate and didn't want to call her to come down and help me, so that was actually a last resort. I just ripped it off. Since having the door open warmed the metal up a tad, I just wound up with a very large blister and a good least it was at the time.

By Nate on Saturday, August 24, 2002 - 04:19 pm:

    i wish i had a metal band in my fridge.

    'hey lemmy, hand me the mayo'

By kazoo on Saturday, August 24, 2002 - 04:27 pm:


By Spider on Saturday, August 24, 2002 - 10:26 pm:

    When I was in college, I would have these experiences in which I would be sort of half-asleep, vaguely aware of my surroundings, and suddenly I would think I saw someone standing next to my bed. I would leap up out of bed with a gasp, and of course no one was there. Once I thought this shadow person was pulling me out of bed toward the ceiling and that I'd die if I didn't get away. The experiences were terrifying, and thank God I haven't had many since college.

    I feel your pain, Kazoo. :)

By patrick on Monday, August 26, 2002 - 12:39 pm:

    i was goign to say something about sleep walking and beating off. but i decided not to.

    shit. why do i feel like nate today?

    what did you do to my cheerio's fuckwad? or was that Bon Scott?

By kazu on Thursday, March 31, 2005 - 05:46 pm:

    had two really strange dreams last night.

    In the first I was at Sem's apartment in Ohio and we
    were sorting through some things and talking about
    moving. I looked into a closet that I had never seen
    before and noticed that there were two small children
    sitting in boxes with blankets. A boy and a girl, and
    they were about 4 and six years old. When I asked
    Andy about them he told me that they were his; that
    he got sucked into some adoption thing years ago
    with a friend, and the friend left and he's been stuck
    with these kids the whole time.

    (editor's note: sem and I have been together for
    three years, so you can just imagine my surprise)

    Anyway, I told him that he had to get the children
    out of there. They came out, and there clothes were
    dirty, and they were really hyper. I tried to get them
    to calm down and told them I was going to lay out
    some rules, which they said sounded reasonable.
    Then we put together some beds in one of Andy's
    room where they could sleep. Andy and I went
    somewhere and left them alone to sleep in the bed.
    When we got back, they had gotten out of bed and
    were starting to hang a big WELCOME sign in the
    tree in the front yard. We got them back into the
    apartment, but they were too excited to sleep,
    even though I said they had to go to school the
    next day. Then I realized that they only had the
    clothes that they were wearing. I spent the last
    part of the dream calculating how much money
    I could spare from my bank account to buy them
    shoes and pajamas and clothes and books and toys
    from Target.

    In the next dream, I was at some kind of HUGE
    bash being thrown by my family. It was at the
    country club where many of my cousins have held
    their wedding receptions, but it didn't look like that
    club, it was more like someone's house with a basement
    where people were dancing. As it turns out, Mos Def,
    who had met me a month earlier and decided I was
    the *one* decided to propose to me and I said yes.
    The ring was really strange and very unnattractive (so
    much for da bling) . So, I'm with my family, members
    of his family, and a few friends, newly engaged when
    suddenly I realized that sem would find out and I didn't
    know how to handle that. Mos Def and I hadn't slept
    together or even kissed except for an occasional friendly
    smooch, but I felt terrible. Overcome with guilt. And I
    was in a situation I coudn't avoid. I had to either tell Sem or
    break it off with Mos Def, and I didnt' want to do
    either--because I didn't want to deal with confrontation.
    I also felt terrible because I knew that if I broke up with
    sem to marry mos def, sem wouldn't be able to go see
    The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy without being really
    sad. I told my mother and her sisters that I didn't know
    what to do, that I didn't really want to marry mos def
    and they took it upon themselves to approach him and
    his friends and let him know that I'd changed my mind.
    He looked over at me and seemed really sad, buthe also
    kind of understood. He and his friends and family stayed
    a little longer since all the little kids were having fun
    together. I was still feeling terrible since I knew I had
    to tell sem I had been engaged and I still had the ring
    and it turned out that Mos Def had taken the ring that
    sem was going to use to propose to me--except sem
    was going to melt the ring down and make something
    different. When I got to sem's room to put the ring back,
    he was there looking very sad and he started showing me
    all the tacky jewelry he was going to melt down and
    make into something special. Then Mos Def's sister and her
    little boy showed up at my mother's house offering to pay
    for part of the party and I told her we would take care of it.
    But then my mom said we should have taken the money since
    renting the club was so expensive.

By V on Thursday, March 31, 2005 - 08:45 pm:

    ...well I just get dreams of my head going through the wind screen in a car crash,most nights.,spect it will come true one day.

By TBone on Friday, April 1, 2005 - 03:48 pm:

    When you mentioned the two children in the closet, it made me think of A Christmas Carol when the Ghost of Christmas Present reveals the two children under his robes -- Ignorance and Want.

By kazu on Friday, April 1, 2005 - 04:20 pm:

    I did refer to them as urchins when I described them

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