for halloween this year What are you wearing?: for halloween this year

By Cyst on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 07:01 pm:


By Waffles on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 07:11 pm:

    i second that

By Semillama on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 07:25 pm:

    I don't feel like messing around, so I'm making a "Bob" mask to scare the little children with.

    you can only wear a kilt so many years in a row.

    one year, everyone in my friend Bernie's band dressed up like him fo the halloween gig. I went as my other frined Erik koskinen. You can only do this if the person wears the same type of distinctive clothees day in and day out.

    i'm going to a Goth fan's cosutme party, except he's not a true Goth because he doesn't wear black all the time.

By Fetidbeaver on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 07:41 pm:

    I thought about taking a sheet of cardboard, smearing glue all over it, then dump kitty litter on it. Once dry, shake it off, heat up some large tootsie rolls, shape them into turds and stick them to the kitty litter board and going as a cat box.

By Rhiannon on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 08:06 pm:

    We would expect nothing less from you, sir.

By Alex on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 08:07 pm:

    That's disgusting! You should be shot. Better should hang yourself!

    And Semillama, you're wrong. You don't have to wear black all the time to be a goth. That's just the stereotype.

By Rhiannon on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 08:16 pm:

    Oh, dear. Looks like someone failed the Humor section of the Sorabji entrance exam and still showed up for class.

By Cyst on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 10:07 pm:

    I want to be salome because I want to make a big papier-mache severed head.


    Remembering the Beheading of St. John the Baptist
    August 29/September 11

    In Matthew 14:1-12 we read about the cruel death of John the Baptist. John had publicly reprimanded Herod for taking his brother's wife as his own, so Herod had him imprisoned. Although Herod really wanted John dead, he feared the many people who believed John to be a prophet. [Indeed, we in the Orthodox Church consider him to be the last of the Old Testament prophets.] During his riotous birthday party, Herod was so pleased with the dancing of his wife's daughter Salome that he promised her anything she wanted. Her mother prompted her to say, "the head of John the Baptist on a platter." Even though Herod regretted his promise, he had to abide by it because his guests had heard him. So he commanded that John be beheaded and that the head be given to Salome, who in turn, gave it to her mother.

    The Orthodox Church keeps this day as a strict fast day (i.e. no meat, fish, dairy, wine or olive oil) as a reminder that we are to live a different style of life that Herod. In memory of this event, some Orthodox Christians keep the custom of not using dishes on this day, since John's head was served on a dish/platter. Instead, only bowls are used. Also, the food that is served on this day should not require the use of a knife, since a sharp instrument was used to behead him.

    Thus, we are given three ways to remember St. John's beheading: a strict fast, using bowls, eating food that is not cut. This year, incorporate at least one, if not all, of these customs to help your children learn the meaning of this feast day.

By Rhiannon on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 10:29 pm:

    Bear with me: I went to a Catholic high school, but I had gone to public school before that. Everyone in my high school who had gone to the Catholic grade school connected to the high school had not been allowed to dress up for Halloween.

    Instead, they dressed up for All Saints' Day, as saints. Unfortunately, all the girls who told me about this had always picked, shall we say, less colorful saints like St. Maria Goretti or St. Therese of Lisieux to dress up as. Which is a shame, because there were lots of chances to be really interesting.

    St. Catherine strapped to her wheel
    St. Lucy without her eyes
    St. Julia without her hair
    St. Barbara without her head
    St. Joseph of Cupertino, who could fly
    Hello, St. Joan with her fire
    St. Sebastian with his arrows
    St. Rita with the thorn in her forehead
    St. Theresa with her ecstacies
    St. Matilda with her beard
    St. Agnes with her breasts on a plate

    Those girls could have gone hog wild.

By Czarina on Tuesday, October 19, 1999 - 11:58 pm:

    Is there a moral in here somewhere?

By MoonIt on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:07 am:

    breasts on a plate????????
    do i get fries with those?

By Czarina on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:19 am:

    Hold the nipples,hold the fetish,special orders don't upset us

By Cyst on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 02:16 am:

    a sleazy little 100-year-old tavern in portland used to have a menu item called "tits and chips."

    then they got bought out. now they serve "chicken strips with fries."

By Fb on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 10:23 am:

    What do rednecks do on halloween?

    Pump Kin

By BK on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 10:38 am:

    I am (going to be) wearing Satan's severed head.

By Waffles on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 11:42 am:

    I don't think you want to do that......I'll have a vanilla shake and a large fries please.....

By Fetidbeaver on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:09 pm:

    Rhiannon, you expect nothing less and I deliver :0)

    Where's friendly? I just got my attorney's bill and I feel like fighting with someone now!

    Maybe I'll go have a recommmended by j

By J on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:12 pm:

    That a boy!

By Fetidbeaver on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:30 pm:

    Since you approve, I'll be leaving in about 15 minutes. I think I'll go drinking in Illinois. Send bail money to Sam's Speak Easy, Gulfport Illinois

By Czarina on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:33 pm:

    have a red beer for me!

By J on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 12:38 pm:

    I threw a beer on some bitch at some bar on Rush Street,thats a good way to start a fight.

By Sarah on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 02:57 pm:

    my best costume ever was a Rubik's Cube.

    and when i was 6 my mom made me the most badass skeleton costume a kid ever had.

    i'm still trying to decide about this year... i'm thinking a cinderella type peasant outfit.

By Sarah on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 02:58 pm:

    llama, i would love you see you in a kilt baby. mmmm mmmmmmmm....

By Nate on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 03:47 pm:

    i'm in cupertino, and i can fly.

By Rhiannon on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 03:55 pm:

    He's also the patron saint of the mentally retarded.

    My favorite halloween costume was when i was a social butterfly in 10th grade. i had this strange dress that was from the '70s and it was kind of like a cape, but it tied around the waist it gave you a fitted torso part, but it also formed like wingy things for sleeves. So i wore that and one of those headbands with the silver balls on them. I can't remember what i did for the "social" part of the social butterfly. Maybe I was nice to people for a change.

By Margret on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 04:25 pm:

    Interesting, Rhiannon. I am thinking of going as Chuang Tzu dreaming (in a butterfly get up, dig). It's my little philosophical joke, but if I could think of something really cool that lacked a head I might want to do that.

By Waffles on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 05:13 pm:

    i was a Star Fleet Engineer recently assimilated by the Borg, i had make up patches applied to my face to give the appearance of melting skin with electronic components underneath....i love the Borg, this year i'd like to aquire the eye piece and wrist aperatus to assimilate others......

By Cyst on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 08:00 pm:

    I am having a good time with my costume.

    I bought three yards of diaphanous black nylon. I've made four of the seven veils. seven is way too much, actually. five would be better.

    I'm going to wear the bitch boots, black stockings, black garter belt, underwear, bra, with seven of these see-through veils that aren't that see-through anymore when they get layered.

    it's slutty, but I don't think I'll get arrested or anything.

    john the baptist still looks like a balloon, but I've started experimenting with his nose and lips separately. papier-mache on clay. might not work -- may have to get some wire mesh.

    sculpting is fun. even just with paper and flour.

By Cyst on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 08:24 pm:

By Waffles on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 08:26 pm:

    ......and matching thong?

By Rhiannon on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 08:46 pm:

    The third one's really nice.

By Cyst on Wednesday, October 20, 1999 - 09:30 pm:

    no matching thong. no fucking way am I wearing a thong under the veils.

By Sarah on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 12:59 am:

    i changed my mind.

    i'm going as satan's severed head.

By Agatha on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 01:29 am:

    the last bra is best. i don't know what i'm going to be, but cleo is going to be a white kitty. yawn.

By Alex on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 01:38 am:

    "Oh, dear. Looks like someone failed the Humor section of the Sorabji entrance exam and still showed up for class."

    Too bad I took the "Sorabji Entrance Exam" so I could fail it. Oh, wait. No. Actually not.

    I just love how sarcasm is appreciated.

By Cyst on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 01:38 am:

    the guy who's having the party is buying me the bra. I told him to think of it as a decoration expense.

By Waffles on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 01:44 am: is your porn

    and anyone else for that matter......

    YOU....Cyst kinda turn me on.......(decoration expense my ass.......??!??!)

By Sista on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 01:54 am:

    did anyone else notice that the victoria's secret url is vicroriASSecret? hee hee.

By Cyst on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 02:06 am:

    I'm a monster. totally mercenary. it's not sexy at all. just mean.

By BK on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 10:13 am:

    If you ARE going to wear satan's severed head you better not show up at my party, cause if you did i think i would hav eto hurt you.

    otherwise, cool! satan deserves to have his head cut off.

By Waffles on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 11:36 am:

    i think antigone is the only qualified canidate for the severed head...........otherwise expect bad things to happen if you attempt that "costume"

By Bigkevin on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 11:50 am:

    WELL, i figure i said it first, and Anti hasn't said boo yet, so what the hell. plus no-one can find me except on here (and the 'net) and I'm BIGkevin for a reason. Of course none of that matters if there are unconventional methods employd to 'get me'.

    One more thing, Bring it on, I can take you!

By Waffles on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 11:54 am:

    it's not about me big guy, your messin with forces you can in no way comprehend.......antigone wouldn't be the one to say any thing either...only satans severed head....he speaks for lyric too

By J on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 11:55 am:

    Jesus,the cage is going to be too crowed to even move around.

By Waffles on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 12:13 pm:


    this is hardly worth a cage match, i won't interfere with the head man....

By Sarah on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 03:30 pm:

    i think we should have a Haiku tournament and the winner gets to be satan's severed head for halloween.

By Margret on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 04:25 pm:

    ok, just refresh me on the syllabic requirements again...what is it, 5-8-5?

By Droop on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 05:17 pm:

    "i got a woman,
    she is hairy and ugly.
    yuck, make me vomit."


By Rhiannon on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 06:27 pm:

    Sometimes I sit and
    wonder if the squirrels know
    how much they're envied.

    Thank you. Thank you very much. No, stop, really, you're too kind.

By Margret on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 06:33 pm:

    promise of eternal life, yes
    always room in hell

    If I win, can I let my favorite be Satan's Severed Head?

By Haiku sucks on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 07:38 pm:

    monkey fucker, you
    with house and home a burning
    spoatie in your eye.

By Waffles on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 07:47 pm:

    worthless drool and cheese
    gun in hand, get on your knees
    christ and SUVs

By eat glass on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 08:05 pm:

    smack-smack, kick kick punch
    tear gouge rip fuck shit bitch ass
    all you need is love.

By Waffles on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 08:14 pm:

    hey look its swine

By eat grass on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 08:19 pm:

    green grass grow so snug
    oh chia pet, chia pet
    plant my root, baby.

By Fetidbeaver on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 08:26 pm:

    Speaking of hell....

    A man dies and goes to hell, a demon walks by and says, "Why the long face?" He responds, "I'm in hell man, what do you think!" The demon says, "It's not so bad here, do you like to drink?"
    Man, "Ya"
    Demon, "Well monday is alcohol day, anything you want, all day. Do you like to gamble?"
    Man, "Sure"
    Demon, "Tuesday is all the gambling you want with unlimited betting. Do you like drugs?"
    Man, "I love drugs!"
    Demon, "Well you're going to like wednesdays then, big bowls of crack, joints the size of submarines, do all you want, you can't overdose, you're already dead."
    Man, "Cool!"
    Demon, "Are you gay?"
    Man, "Fuck no!"
    Demon, "Ooohhhh! I don't think you're gonna like thursdays then."


By eat hot fuck on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 08:42 pm:

    slurp big phat bouncy
    squeeze thick splooge deep wet wiggle
    booty consciousness.

By Rhiannon on Thursday, October 21, 1999 - 08:45 pm:

    Mr. Skeleton,
    your tendons are so tempting
    i can't look away.

By Droopy on Friday, October 22, 1999 - 02:24 am:

    i kind of like that one.

By Semillama on Sunday, October 24, 1999 - 04:53 pm:

    Thoughts rattle my skull

    A superball in my mind

    Caught by the silence

By Agatha on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 03:48 am:

    cleo's scary garb-
    orange and black striped tiger suit,
    with some spats to match.

By Wisper on Monday, October 25, 1999 - 10:33 am:

    scooby dooby doo
    where are you, we've got a case
    for you now, scooby doo.

By Cyst on Wednesday, October 27, 1999 - 08:44 pm:

    my friend said he'd get me two of the bras.

    the one I wanted plus the really slutty demi-bra.

    I was thinking of going ahead and charging the matching panties too, but they're $16!!!

    christ. $16. how could they be $16???

By Patrick on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 12:15 pm:

    tit for tat.......guys don't buy bras without the expectations of taking them off you....but i suppose you know that

By Cyst on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 03:46 pm:

    I don't care who sees my tits.

    but, anyway, get this, I couldn't do it.

    I was at the vs web site, had his visa number in hand, ordering the two bras, and the total (including washington sales tax and next-day air shipping) came to $104.

    I have an extreme aversion to spending way too much for something, even if it's not my money. so I went to the shop, found the one I wanted, and told him he could just reimburse me. total cost: $28.

By Patrick on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 04:08 pm:

    so lets see those nudie pics you have?

By Lucy Phurre on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 04:37 pm:

    I'll second that.

By Cyst on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 05:44 pm:

    I told my friend that I would be more impressed if he took the time to scan the photos in than if he continued to buy me stuff.

    he said, "but my time is what is at a premium right now."

    I told him that he could surely take some time out from all that moping to do a favor for a friend.

    he didn't say anything.

    so I said, "ok. so buy me a scanner."

    then he said, "but then you would never send me any photos."


    another friend of mine told me he would let me borrow his scanner indefinitely. but when I was actually in the room with the scanner, offering to unhook it for him, he gestured toward a pile of photos of his ugly stupid cat.

    I said, "I'll scan them in for you and then return them."

    he mumbled.

    I can't help it that my friends are LAME and don't keep their promises.

    I am going to some other friends' house tonight. I've used their scanner before, but never for obscene photos. they're a married couple, and I don't think it would be a good idea for me to do those photos tonight.

    any more ideas? I could send a couple off to you, patrick, if you have a scanner and wanted to do it and would return them and promised to crop them as I instructed.

By Patrick on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 06:21 pm:

    i don't have a scanner, but i have a bitchin camera and a keen eye that could snap some hot shots if you ever came down this way, or we could just get drunk..i would love to help you in the name of "art" but i just can't.

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Thursday, October 28, 1999 - 08:52 pm:

    I am Sylvester the Cat this year. I am carrying a cage made of pipe cleaners, with little yellow feathers in the bottom. And around my neck, a box of succotash that says, "Thufferin' Thoccotash."

By Semillama on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 09:53 am:

    I heard some good ones yesterday. A group of anthropology students went as the Assimilation Theory (3 neandertal hookers and a Cro-magnon pimp). Another student went as Post-Modernism, and people pinned all sorts of post-modernist theories to his clothing.

By Lucy Phurre on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 02:09 pm:

    I am going to do something cheesy... I've got plenty of Halloween costumes already done from years in the Goth scene.
    But, I would like to ask if I should buy ears (and go as a cat) or wings (and go as an angel...which my b/f will love)
    This is with a 60s vintage formal dress... very "Gloom Cookie" type look. (Gloom Cookie is a local goth comic, which is really good
    And this is the type of line that the dress has
    (only no corset... Lex actually appears in an outfit similar to it in Gloom Cookie #1, but they didn't have an image)

    Anyway, whaddaya think? Will the wings ruin the look of the dress?

By Patrick on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 02:25 pm:

    go as Jar Jar or a cookie puss.........any howard stern fans? ever hear the cookie puss episode in which he rags on fred for buying his mother one for mothers day....that a fucking riot

By J on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 02:26 pm:

    No,do it,I love angels.

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 03:44 pm:

    A friend went as the men's room of a local D.C. park that um... has a history of illicit behavior.

    He had cardboard stall around him, he wore toilet paper around his neck and passed out urinal mints with his phone number on them. He also scrawled lots of naughty messages on his wall.


By J on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 04:12 pm:

    It is,I bet he gets a whole lot of phone calls.

By Rhiannon on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 05:07 pm:

    they hand out mints in men's bathrooms?

By Patrick on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 05:41 pm:

    some high 'fluent places do

By Sarah on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 06:01 pm:

    haiku is easy

    simply open up a vein

    dark bloody anguish

By Peterinski on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 06:02 pm:

    how did he go to the bathroom?

By Schlotsky on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 06:05 pm:

    easier than you think.....did you notice the oooozing grin every now and then

By Grandpa Grabowski on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 06:05 pm:

    shut up all of ya!!! can't poop with all this jibber jabber!!!

By Peterinski on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 06:15 pm:

    i guess someone had to wipe that grin off his face every once in a while, eh?

By Grandpa Grabowski on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 06:16 pm:

    shut up shut up shut up!!!!!

By Semillama on Friday, October 29, 1999 - 11:44 pm:

    Drop the Cholupa!

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 08:19 am:

    Would anyone care for a urinal mint?

By Silly on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 12:35 pm:


By MapleLeaf on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 02:21 pm:

    The cookie puss episode was on Friday morning as part of the "Best of Howard...." while he recovers from his separation. It is funnier everytime you hear it.

    They put cages on the urinals in some towns to keep the locals out of the mints....:)

By Sheila on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 02:41 pm:

    a zombie

By Out of touch Lucy on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 05:38 pm:

    I'm sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about... I have no television and only occasionally listen to Howard Stern when my boyfriend insists on playing it on the car radio.
    If it were written somewhere, I might get it, or perhaps you could refer me to the web page.
    Thank you.

By Cyst on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 05:46 pm:

    urinal mints.

    I'm reminded of a scene in "american psycho."

By Cyst on Saturday, October 30, 1999 - 06:02 pm:

    from some web page somewhere:


    There is a marvelous, if unappetizing, scene where Bateman steals a urinal cake from a restaurant bathroom, coats it in chocolate, wraps it in a Godiva box, and has it delivered to his girlfriend as they dine together in a fancy restaurant. She eats it, refusing to admit how awful it is because it came in a Godiva box. "I adore Godiva," she says, not understanding why Bateman won't join in. [...] She gags, forcing it down, saying, "It's just so minty."


    Bateman is constantly telling his friends what he does, but they are all so wrapped up in themselves that they don't hear him or don't believe what
    he's saying. After feeding his girlfriend the urinal cake, he tells her quite openly that "My need to engage in homicidal behavior on a massive scale cannot be, um, corrected." She responds to his admission by saying "Patrick, if you're going to start in again on why I should have breast implants, I'm leaving."


By Cyst on Sunday, October 31, 1999 - 06:11 am:

    hey patrick.

    I thought of you tonight.

    it's like 3 a.m. or maybe 4 a.m. (standard time now) or whatever and I thought of you as I did coke for the first time tonight in someone's room.

    at the previous party I had drunk about five drinks and was all primed and ready to act slutty. I tallked to some people in the kitchen for a while and then couldn't find my friends. so I knocked on the closed doors.

    my friend came oput and I asked her what kind of drugs she was doing and she said COKE!

    she asked if I wanted some and I asked how long it stays in your system and someone said like 36 hours and I said WELL OK THEN!

    I did irt. wow. I was all like LET'S GO!!! and was really sad that the others wanted to stay for a while at one of the boring parties and not where rthe cute guy who I knew had a crush on me was.

    I took the extra and put it on my gums. and then later I had some more for real. it sure doesn't last long.

    except then we finally went to the third party all drunk and coked up and I drank a budweiser and danced and danced. I didn't care about losing one of my veils. or the head for that matter.

    the guy was there. his ex-sort-of-girlfriend has passed out on his lap almost. but then she got up and fell down.

    I danced with him real slutty like, like when you act like you're fucking and all. he instigated it, I swear. I was dancing with slash before that.

    anyway. fuck goddamn. I was kind of into him but he was there with the drunken sort-of-ex. lame. he asked me how much I worked out and was impressed with my abs, which aren't actually ever worked on or that impressive. it's just that I havbe a long torso and my internal organs have a lot of room, so I look all taut and strertched and fit, even though I never use those muscles. but he touched them anyway.

    he's a lawyer when he's not a mad scientist. god. that was all so great. I love the taste of coke. it's bitter and lovely.

    I was told not to tell, but that doesn't apply to YOU, I don;t think.

By Cyst on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 10:01 am:

    what did you guys do for halloween?

    what kind of candy did you give out? is pokemon the outfit of choice for parent-accompanied trick-or-treaters? or are there none in new zealand, new york and california?

    saturday night before the debauchery I went with a friend to seattle's international district. he wanted weird halloween candy and I wanted broccoli beef.

    he ended up getting "haw flakes." hawthorn flavored.

    I'm not sure if "hawthorn" is supposed to be spelled with an e.

    I know that nathanial hawthorne added the e to his last name himself because he didn't want to be associated with his relative (grandfather? uncle?), judge hawthorn of the salem witch trials.

By J on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 10:47 am:

    Not one kid came to my house to trick or treat,I had a big bag of Reece cups,I,ll probably eat the whole bag,on the good side I had breakfast at Dennys (eat your heart out Gee:)with my trusted Bloody Mary.Went to Rock-a-way records,bought:13 steps down,Elvis Costello.Punch the world,Elvis Costello,The Juliet Letters,Elvis again,Collective Soul,Dosage,The Cure,Mixed Up and bought a copy of Snow White and the seven Dwarfs,all used.Went to the Mondo Groovey Bar and Grill and got tanked,came home and listened to Buster Hyman and the Penetraters,had sex,passed out,woke up this morning and saw I missed Amee and Heathers call,darn it.

By Patrick on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 12:32 pm:

    wow, rock-a-way is right down the street from me, i wish i knew you were gonna be in the neighborhood J...

    thanks for thinking of me cyst...i think??....i think perhaps some folks misunderstood my relationship with this drug.....i haven't done it in months....have never had a regular gig with it except in atlanta when a dealer lived across the hall, and only then it was weekend-recreational, can't do that shit during the work week....(bad bad bad).i do not know of anyone i could call and get some in the next 24 hours. I have to go thru several channels and its an overall pain in the ass....but i am not looking to hard either, especially after my wife almost got raped by a coke "dealer".though i would like some these days.......i think i just talked about it for a spell in which i had access a couple of weeks in a row....i think swine mentioned it several times as well, right around the same time...i suppose being in LA it's easy to imagine me the groovy hollywood type with a cell phone, whitened nose and such. my wife has a cell phone but it's company paid for......we call home with it all the time......did you fuck cyst? fucking with coke can be can take a while to achieve your orgasm, but damn if it isn't fun in the it's easier to fall asleep...i hate hearing the is shortlived, and you spend the rest of the evening trying to get the buzz you first had, but you never get as high as you do in the beginning.....i recommend starting out slow and increasing rail size as you prgress.....try sniffing drops of water to attain whats left when the bag is empty......... i have found X to be more enjoyable over the last few months, it's been weeks since we have had any, but fucking is the best with that shit......avoid any X loaded with meth...they do that these days, less meth , more heroin and mdma

By J on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 01:54 pm:

    Wow,there,s only one Rock-a-way here,is it a chain in L.A?

By Patrick on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 01:57 pm:

    not a chain, a local record shop. they have lots of collector vinyl and a lot of used shit, their buyers suck though, i wish i could work there....they buy a lot of used dead stock (i.e. 15 copies of some new crappy release that sit there for a year and go straight to the dollar bin)and the new selection is crap given the neighborhood its in....

By Patrick on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 01:58 pm:

    but i score there, you have to sift through the used shit, they turnaround so much and so much comes's takes a good hour to go thru it all. I scored most of Impulse/Coltrane series there.......

By J on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 02:12 pm:

    I love rock-a-way too,you ever notice how hard it is to find used Radiohead?Thats where I bought my favorite movie Polyester for $8.00.

By Patrick on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 02:17 pm:

    i have never sought after it so i wouldn't know, they kinda bore me, but any John Waters film is alright by me.....

By Cyst on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 03:22 pm:

    I did not get laid this weekend.

    I will probably never do coke or have sex again.

By Patrick on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 03:26 pm:

    sorry to hear that, the sex part anyway

By Cyst on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 03:35 pm:

    I still had a really good time, though. and I got a bunch of cash -- all he asked me to do was lift up my shirt for him by the aquarium. he asked me to take off my bra and I said no. because I couldn't have done it gracefully, quickly.

    I saw an old friend and only told her a little because she hates him because he's mean to girls who aren't svelte, and she called me a "PROSTITUTE!!!" really loud in a prissy little crowded bar where a choral group was doing a cappella christmas carols.

    I may move back to seattle to be closer to where all the trouble is.

By Rhiannon on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 03:39 pm:

    You think record store employees are on a pay scale based on how hard they try to out-cool their customers? It's the only explanation I can come up with for this phenomenon.

    Yesterday, I went to the record store down the street (Repo Records, if you're in the area) and tried to sell some old CDs. You would have thought they were encrusted with dried fecal matter, the way they acted. I thought at first I was seeing things or in a movie or something...I couldn't believe anyone would actually act that stuck-up! Who acts like that for real? And then offering me $1 for one and $3 for another, and when I -- knowing neither had ever been played and so were in good condition -- asked why one was worth more than the other (a fair question, I thought, and asked politely) I got a thousand-yard stare and the answer "because that's what I said." They actually said that! What do you say to that?? I wish I had something witty and biting, but I just said "oh" and took the $4.

By J on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 03:41 pm:

    You should have told them to go fuck themselves!!!

By Cyst on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 03:48 pm:

    the record stores will pay more for cds with a higher resale value. I imagine spice world and titanic soundtracks are pretty much valueless, regardless of the condition of the discs themselves.

    I am still often surprised by the surliness of record store employees. I bought a cub cd in one of the hip used record stores downtown, and the guy sneered at me. "CUDDLECORE," he said.

    that's the last time I went there.

By Patrick on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 03:51 pm:

    it is an interesting phenomenon. I tried to be nice when i worked at the record exchange but after a while you get so many dicks coming in you get kinda jaded.........they (store clerks) just tend to think they know more than you Rhi and that no matter what you are buying it's passe because they either have it already or think it sucks. But i loved my job and I liked hooking people up or making recommendations or what have you so i think was not the usual asshole clerk, but i was sometimes a prick to the fucker that came in 5 minutes before closing and did his monthly record shopping when and all me & malcom wanted to do was get high in the back and vacuum and go home

    Buying used cd's is indeed a crap exchange, but there is such little profit margin in new titles they have to gouge a bit to make ends meet......We were very critical of the shit we was an amazing to notice that after 3-8 weeks after the latest pearl jam, alice in chains or whatever the pop craze was at the time, we start seeing the used copies come back......then there is the usual shit that you see everyday, any 4 non blondes, REM Monster, any Eurythmics, Depeche Mode etc etc etc.....we had strict quality control so when ever someone came in with something that i wanted but couldn't buy for the store i would just take them outside and give them cash for it. Usually a dollar more than the store would have paid for it. The kids were always appreciative of that.

By Patrick on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 03:55 pm:

    cyst it's ALL about resale, and if you have copies already, dupes can be bad.....Rhi what were the cd's you took back?

By Cyst on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 03:59 pm:

    I remember one of my toughest challenges in college was deciding whether or not to take my used cds from high school to the cute guy I knew at the used record shop on the ave.

    I knew he would give me way more than they were worth. BUT THEN HE WOULD SEE MY OLD CDS, of which I was deeply ashamed.

    I ended up bringing them in to him. he sorted through them really fast, then sort of measured the stack with his fingers, as if they paid by the inch.

    he ended up giving me like $30 for 10 way-the-fuck-crap cds that could never sell in a university district. I love him still for that.

By Rhiannon on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 04:11 pm:

    Palace's "Viva Last Blues" and Slint's "Spiderland," both of which I already have, so they were unsealed and everything.

    Slint -- now THERE was a band! I've heard some of David Pajo's solo stuff (under the name Aerial M, though now he's changed it to Papa M) doesn't even come close. I've heard Brian McMahan's "new" stuff too (under the name The For Carnation)'s neat, but also not as good as his Slint stuff.

    There's this one older guy who works there and he's nice. I bought a Tom Waits CD there a while ago, and he told me all about the time he saw Tom Waits at my school 20 years ago for free. He didn't have an attitude when he said it, either...he *knew* I'd think he was cool for that one, and he was right. But then, he's like 50 working in a record store, so the coolness only goes so far. But he's still the nicest guy there.

By Satan on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 04:14 pm:

    yipee!! another soul for me! snort snort snort do the coke forget your friends and family

By Rhiannon on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 05:14 pm:

    Satan, you bastard! Look how you killed this conversation. You should be ashamed of yourself.

    And quit sending your minions to tempt me. I'm getting sick of them.

By Antigone on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 06:32 pm:

    Don't worry. He's not the real thing. I should know...

By Sarah on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 09:34 pm:

    at the last minute i decided to ditch the surgeon get-up that my housemate - who is a nurse - had brought home for me. instead i went as a dominatrix. oh you'd be surprised the kinds of things you find laying about your house. a tight black rubber sleeveless dress that zips up the front, with white pipe stitching. picked up years ago on a whim, found on the sale rack at Sears of all places. a leather and chain collar. nipple clamps, a gift from melanye. stockings and garter and black lace bustier. stilettos from last year's costume. just hours before the party i went out and bought a long black wig and fake eyelashes and painted my eyes black, lips red, face pale.

    when i arrived nobody recognized me at first. that was the best part.

    the party was up at this mansion, which was fittingly very castle like. the host was dressed like a king. each room a different theme, all murals and tiles. big beds, couches, surrounded by orchid plants and rugs and buddhas and candles. everywhere, candles.

    by the time most people were leaving the party, a good portion of the guests were convinced. they asked me about my costume, about sex and pain, as if it wasn't really a costume. but it was just a costume, only they just didn't want to believe that. it looked too good, maybe too real.

    where is the entry point for this story? for the most intriguing holloween of my life. i can't find it, but it's around here somewhere.

    i'm too hungover.

    in the middle of the night, when there were ten or so stragglers, we had a show. it wasn't planned. we were talking about sex. a friend watched me closely while i expounded the virtues of experiencing the whole spectrum of possibilities. we locked eyes. i felt embarrassed for a moment and i left the room.

    when i came back my friend had found the dog's leash. i sat on the floor, and without saying a word, he came and stood behind me. he took the bandana from his costume and blindfolded me. i accepted it, smiling, almost laughing. get on all fours, he said, and i did, without a second thought as to why. there was no why. he led me all around the house, until i lost my bearings.

    eventually to a bathroom. i was tied up in the japanese style shower, the leash binding me between the neck and wrists, hands tied above the shower head. the rubber dress was removed in stages. cold water fell very lightly down on top of me. he got into the shower with me, kept his face close to mine. stay light as a feather, he said. stick your ass out, he said. farther he said. and i was struck with another leash, knots tied at the end. did you flinch? he asked. he wet the leash. i thought i saw you flinch. harder the second time and third. i didn't flinch. good girl, he said. good girl.

    in between lashings he danced his fingertips over my skin, pinched me and touched me. he pulled at my garter straps. those are so hot, he said. i was shaking.

    when i told him i was cold he turned on the warm water and pressed himself against me from behind. he pulled the leash around my neck tighter. you want it harder, don't you? he asked. you want more.

    i trusted him.

    an hour went by, perhaps longer. there was more pain. it was exactly right at each step, both gentle and firm, sexy and scary. adrenaline and lust. little girl, he said quietly in my ear, who would have thought after all these years we'd be sharing this kind of time together? i didn't answer. then there was more pain, more pleasure. perhaps we should do this again, he said. would you like that? i couldn't speak. i was still shaking. when he was done he untied me from the shower, and told me to kneel on the bathroom floor, with my hands still bound together on the short leash that still hung from my neck. he kneeled in front of me and wrapped a towel around me and dried me off. then he told me to follow him and i crawled at his feet to the orchid bedroom.

    he stood me up and he held me in his arms for a very long time. thank you, he said. that was my first time. mine too, i replied. he took off the blindfold, and that's when i saw his wife was there as was our other friend Eric. they had been watching the whole time and i didn't know, while our host stayed downstairs. they each helped take off the remains of my wet gear, making sure to keep the towel around me in modesty, so i didn't have to feel shy. he tucked me into bed. i could barely sense my body. he kissed me on the mouth. the men left and his wife got into bed with me. we talked and giggled for a few minutes before i drifted off to sleep.

    i woke up after sunrise, surrounded by more orchids than you could imagine, light pouring in through the huge floor to ceiling windows on 3 sides of the room. diamond head to the left, the city below, Eric in bed soundly sleeping next to me.

    i gathered my things and left.

By Cyst on Monday, November 1, 1999 - 11:51 pm:

    are there any pictures?

By Gee on Tuesday, November 2, 1999 - 09:14 am:

    That was shocking. I'm honestly shocked.

    That was a great story, Sarah. But it felt sad somehow.

By Sarah on Tuesday, November 2, 1999 - 12:50 pm:

    there were photos taken of me in costume. no photos of anything in action, as far as i can remember.

    he, his wife, Eric, and our host all called me last night after i got home from work, to make sure i was ok. his wife told me that apparently i left a huge scratch mark up his chest. i don't remember that happening, i can't recall a context where i would have had the ability to scratch him, as i was bound the entire time. at least that's how i remember it. i apologized to him for leaving a mark and he laughed. don't be sorry, he said. it happens.

    i was mostly sober, but obviously my brain was occupied. there are probably other things i'm leaving out that i don't remember. but the point is, i can't say for sure if a photo was taken, but to the best of my memory, i don't think so. if some turn up, i'll let you know.

    don't be sad Gee. it was a very trusting, loving thing. that part probably did not come across. it was fun, a great experience. better than jumping out of a plane, for sure.

By Cyst on Tuesday, November 2, 1999 - 04:32 pm:

    well, sarah, thanks for sharing. great story. want to see a photograph of you in your costume.

    but I must say, doesn't sound like you were a very convincing dominatrix. next time make him crawl.

By Sarah on Tuesday, November 2, 1999 - 04:54 pm:

    he'll get his turn.

By J on Wednesday, November 3, 1999 - 12:30 am:

    Then whip him,whip him good.

By Semillama on Wednesday, November 3, 1999 - 08:29 pm:

    When a problem comes along. . .

By NZAngel on Thursday, November 4, 1999 - 12:17 am:

    Wow Sarah, that was an amazing story.

    Halloween is gradually catching on here, but we went out early evening, so probably missed the trick or treaters.

    We did get one lame group of kids who didn't bother to dress up, so I sent them away empty-handed. Told the to come back next year in costume.

    A few people i know had Halloween parties for their kids.

    We had a great party. H was a necromancer, with the best mask - a bleeding skull. I was Dracula's bride. My brother in law said he didn't know which was scarier - my teeth or my cleavage!

By Evilrich on Thursday, November 4, 1999 - 01:19 am:

    i was satan's severed head

By Rhiannon on Thursday, November 4, 1999 - 12:09 pm:

    Hey, who won the haiku contest?

    I liked mine.

By Cyst on Thursday, November 4, 1999 - 11:17 pm:

By Droop on Friday, November 5, 1999 - 12:50 am:

    cyst - you've got nice legs for someone who can use "commensurate" in a sentence. for christ's sake find someone to take the pictures for you.

    rhiannon - it was sarah's contest. i think she's going to pick the worst one and discipline the author.

By Agatha on Friday, November 5, 1999 - 02:12 am:

    mine was kind of silly. cyst does have nice legs, and even nicer boots.

By Sarah on Friday, November 5, 1999 - 02:55 am:

    i'd do her.

By Cyst on Friday, November 5, 1999 - 09:52 am:

    the boots were given to me in exchange for the photos. then he took me out for an expensive seafood dinner. squid pro quo.

    he actually took the thigh photo. I cropped it out of a photo with more flesh. but I don't like the ones he took. a photographer in the same room as the subject shouldn't use a zoom lens.

    well, actually, he took some great tits shots that would be difficult for me to take, but I'm hesitant to have those floating around on the internet just yet.

    you guys are really nice. my legs look much nicer now, two months into my obsessive stairmaster program. I sent the photos to one of the guys I've been chasing and he finally gave me his phone number.

By MapleLeaf on Friday, November 5, 1999 - 11:53 am:

    Cyst......NICE everything !!!!!!!!!
    Hope for your sake....he calls.....he's a fool if he doesn't.

By Cyst on Friday, November 5, 1999 - 02:47 pm:

    he has an excuse not to call me because he doesn't have my phone number.

    I want new hiking boots for christmas except I really want them right now.

By heather on Saturday, November 6, 1999 - 01:15 am:

    cyst, i wouldn't have thought that you needed to chase anyone

    those pictures...something about how... because you are taking them the camera always obscures your face

By Cyst on Saturday, November 6, 1999 - 02:55 am:

By heather on Saturday, November 6, 1999 - 03:17 am:

    actually i think it's interesting- your face being covered. because it's partly a function of the process of taking the picture and maybe partly something else. like exposure plus disguise combined in an inherent sort of way.

    then the realization that it's actually a photo of a reflection- not directly of the subject (you) and that you are seeing it too.

    provocative beyond the sensuality.

By Sarah on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 06:23 pm:

    this is the best that i could do:

    i'm in the middle w/ the black wig on. too bad the barbarian in front blocked out my dress and cleavage though.

    i got to revisit the whole event last night with my friend Eric at a dinner party at Craig's house, where it took place. Eric and i had a long talk about it. at a few different times we were laughing hysterically over this thing, i could barely breathe. some of his observations were just damn funny in retrospect, and i think it's good to be able to laugh at yourself.

    it felt really good to just talk about it.

    and other times during our talk i had tears in my eyes, listening to his interpretation of the experience and how much it affected him. i was so touched that it really meant as much to him, as 3rd party observer, as it did to me and my friend. it was a really powerful, intense life experience. it helped fulfill some of my own fantasies, gave me a chance to express a very real part of my sexuality. to be able to trust enough to totally let go of yourself and your body to another person... it's something that will stay with me for a long, long time.

By cyst on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 08:15 pm:

    holy christ, sarah. that black wig looks great on you. what does your hair look like normally?

By Sarah on Friday, November 19, 1999 - 09:48 pm:

    thanks cyst. it was fun.

    i have very long wispy light blonde hair. no bangs either.

    i mean, the funny part about the costume is that it was so completely the opposite of me. that's why everyone was so shocked at first. many people didn't even recognize me...

The Stalking Post: General goddam chit-chat Every 3 seconds: Sex . Can men and women just be friends? . Dreamland . Insomnia . Are you stoned? . What are you eating? I need advice: Can you help? . Reasons to be cheerful . Days and nights . Words . Are there any news? Wishful thinking: Have you ever... . I wish you were... . Why I oughta... Is it art?: This question seems to come up quite often around here. Weeds: Things that, if erased from our cultural memory forever, would be no great loss Surfwatch: Where did you go on the 'net today? What are you listening to?: Worst music you've ever heard . What song or tune is going through your head right now? . Obscure composers . Obscure Jazz, 1890-1950 . Whatever, whenever General Questions: Do you have any regrets? . Who are you? . Where are you? . What are you doing here? . What have you done? . Why did you do it? . What have you failed to do? . What are you wearing? . What do you want? . How do you do? . What do you want to do today? . Are you stupid? Specific Questions: What is the cruelest thing you ever did? . Have you ever been lonely? . Have you ever gone hungry? . Are you pissed off? . When is the last time you had sex? . What does it look like where you are? . What are you afraid of? . Do you love me? . What is your definition of Heaven? . What is your definition of Hell? Movies: Last movie you saw . Worst movie you ever saw . Best movie you ever saw Reading: Best book you've ever read . Worst book you've ever read . Last book you read Drunken ramblings: uiphgy8 hxbjf.bklf ghw789- bncgjkvhnqwb=8[ . Payphones: Payphone Project BBS . torturechamber . . receipts . contact