| By Starchy on Sunday, July 12, 1998 - 09:53 pm: |
"ashes fall upon the wretched chosen ones" blame who's to fucking blame fuck you you know you are you know no one is you know that they are that circumstances that FUCK BLAME blame is shit no faults I then = NO THING only shadows of I now now is all now is all but I keep on going with this goddam Thinking til I blame til I regret I miss I want I I I I too much I it's all so damn small irrevlevent, now what there should FUCK there's that fucking word again the root of half my trouble half the world's should have should be you should SHOUD={�} null set modifying all our actions by connotations we attach to emptiness disguised as more than anything more than action(?) MORE THAN ACTION IS NOT ACHIEVABLE even the action of inaction - sometimes the most powerful, but what the fuck is power? Power IS THE ACTION OF SHOULD... Shit. I almost vowed to abstain from all power (as action), but fuck if I'm not just a wee too fucking goddam scared no rationalisations for it, just fear, sod all. If I shoved my way through my fear, I would be taking power over it catch-23 paradox irony ahhhh I feel better now thank self for that nice bit of irony helped escape some kind of fucking trap trap of ATTACHMENT TO EMPTINESS ha-ha!! Take that, self-destructive impulses disguised as betterment or perhaps betterment now disguised as self-destructive impulses to ease the element of outright terror... five minutes til the bus says rat-bastard lying little schedule ooooh don't I just love time keeps on slippin' fucking cheeserock soon I'll see the bus and stop writing... good or bad? Neither, but I think I made my point almost a page ago now stop to tap out drumbeat for two measure but boom my hand comes back to writing whether I like it or know, yes of course that was intentional I need to type up that mental breakdown put it on site but imbed no links that one's different needs full attention needs to pull observer into its knot knot built linearly, then affects in a way like nothing else I've written, even read, breaks down the dualism that creates OBSERVER even in me when I know I'm not JUST OBSERVING no more than when I now watch the shadow of the pen moving in my hand, fucked up way to write and I'm doing it now because I started to write the analogy about |
But I looked I saw I conquered Another small victory for a lonely corner of my brain. |
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**BREATH the sky sweet mama, there's a trembling in the air*** A blistered edge of my dream calls softly... ....take it away yellow daddy |