Im absolutely sick.... Words: Im absolutely sick....

By patrick on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 04:06 pm:

    Im absolutely sick to my stomach. I don't sleep well. I have a hard time getting to sleep, I've had some nightmares, Im ansy. My legs have a constant jitter to them. Im glued to the TV because i cant possibly bear the thought of waking up to what i did before. I can't wake up and see what I saw.

    I fear waking up and reading about some other attack, this time closer to home.

    Any romantic life i may have had has completely dissipated.

    Im cranky, edgy, unable to be the loving caring person I am.

    Im afraid.

    Every war-monging dumbass word i hear from Dubya's mouth makes me sick and terrified. I pass a vote of No Confidence in our leader. No confidence he will do the right thing, whatever that may be.

    Im absolutely disgusted and sick of the stories im hearing of innocent people being killed or assaulted because they LOOK like Arabs. This absolutely breaks my heart. As if we need to show our collective ass anymore.

    Im sick to my stomach.

    Gut-wrenching fear is taking its toll. And i suppose to some parts of the world this is every day life. But is that fact alone supposed to comfort me? Please. I didnt choose where and how I was brought up, nor the luxuries im afforded. This is land i was given, so I do what anyone else would do. Make the best of what I have. Am I wrong for this because what i have is so much better than what most of the world has? Reminding me of what the rest of the world lacks is fruitless, as its all relative.

    Im sick, are you sick?

By The Watcher on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 05:59 pm:

    No. I'm angry.

    I have every confidence in the President to do the right thing.

    He has already said this war will be very different from all previous conflicts. I take that to mean we won't try to overrun Afghanistan. Only try to go after the Terrorists. There and everywhere.

    I think this President will show us that he may not have the presence or oratory of Bill Clinton or Ronald Reagan, but he will do the right thing.

By droopy on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 06:08 pm:

    no. dave said something about people losing their legs and learning to live without them somewhere else on these boards; well, i didn't have legs before all this began, so i'm pretty mellow.

    the things moonit and agatha said on the wayd board made me think of something: i've been here before. in a lot of ways, what's being written on these boards sounds a lot like when i was in the rehab hospital after my spinal cord injury. the different ways people try to cope with the trauma, the way people on the periphery of things cope with it, all that. and all the people telling you what you are supposed to do or feel. when agatha said, "it's not a fucking competition of who has suffered the most," it made me think of that. i remember saying that to a guy with multiple sclerosis, once.

    when the told me i'd never walk again, whatever hurt i had welled up in me and got as far as my throat until i swallowed it back down. i stared at the acoustic-tile ceiling for a while and just forgot i could ever walk in the first place.

    things are working out well for me.


By patrick on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 07:07 pm:

    thanks droop.

    i understand what agatha is saying. but i think what she is directing words at is a human need to align ourselves with other humans.

    how often have you been talking with someone, telling them about your frustrations with the lackey at the taco stand and they say "oh yeah, i completely understand...." and go on to tell you about their story of the lackey taco kid.

    though its tiresome...what agatha speaks of, it think its natural and nothing to get mad at.

By agatha on Tuesday, September 18, 2001 - 10:13 pm:

    i was mostly referring to joe and his bile. i found it repulsive that he was basically referring to what the citizens of dc were going through as somehow inferior to what the citizens of nyc were going through.

    or anyone else anywhere, for that matter.

By pez on Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 03:12 am:

    there was a guy in tonight buying flag shirts. he told me about how lucky he and his family were--they'd just moved to portland from new york less than a month ago.

By Czarina on Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 05:21 am:

    Patrick,I am physically sick,too.I have never been afraid of anything in my life,usually,I take things as a challenge,and have no doubt,that with my perseverance,I can overcome them.

    This is the first time I have truely know fear.I am terrified.And like you,have remained glued to the news sources.My knees are weak,everytime the radio goes off for a sec,of the lights flicker,I think,"this is it".

    I am not handleing this well,not well at all.
    I am trying to pull myself together.

    Today,I purposely kept the news off.I concentrated on the stupid buggar thing.It helped.I need to stay away from the TV,because I seem to just terrify myself.

    The waiting is the worst.

By agatha on Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 10:10 am:

    turn off the tv. the media is manipulating you.

By Dougie on Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 11:29 am:

    I'm feeling a little better. And thanks everybody for your concern for the NYers & DCers last week -- it was really touching. I've swung the gamut of feelings this past week, from abject sadness for the first couple of days afterward, to bloodthirsty rage -- wanting to rip the throats out of the mf's who did this, to my current resigned realization that whether we like it or not, we've been changed as a people, hopefully for the better, and that from any revenge we exact on others, the feelings of victory will be short-lived and hollow. This has all been stated before -- obviously, we have to catch whoever did this and make an example of them, but with the realization that we're only treating a symptom, and that we must also treat the disease -- gently cutting the umbilical cord to Israel, re-thinking our policies regarding the Palestinians, our presence in Saudi Arabia and the Middle East, and who we've spurned before and how we may help them now, etc. And re-thinking how we live here, our conspicuous consumption -- a small fraction of the world's population consuming a hugely disproportionate amount of the world's resources.

    Last Tuesday, I'd never felt as helpless as I did then -- I work in New Hyde Park on the border of Queens & Long Island -- getting 1 cellphone message on my voicemail at 9:00 am from my girlfriend who works in Battery Park saying her building had been evacuated and she was going to try to get home, and then not being able to get ahold of her all day, wondering if she made it out ok and not being able to help her, but I was one of the lucky ones, because she made it home later that day.

    I heard the ugliest thing I've heard in a long time yesterday -- an Asian couple, late 50's or early 60's, were sitting in the waiting room speaking together in what turned out to be Filipino, and an old crusty American guy sitting next to them started shouting, "Speak in English! This is America where we speak English, you stupid 'nips'! If the WWII generation still hasn't gotten over Pearl Harbor, this certainly doesn't bode well for traditional American Muslims.

By patrick on Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 11:40 am:

    im horrified by that dougie.

    im also sickened by hearing that wretched bitch Courtney Love talk about how she was going to enlist in the Marines after this ocassion. Sick bitch!!

    Dougie did you say anything to the asshole?

    Im so saddened that something like would have had me in that guys face.

    WHEN WILL WE LEARN!!!!!!????

    I've turned off the media, for the most part...I've always kept up with the news and i've gotten to where i just watch Charlie Rose or Ted Kopple before i go to bed (his hair is mesmerizing). The media is TRYING to manipulate me agatha, but Im smart enough to know that and react accordingly.

    Whats alarming is the 3rd grade rhetoric of our president ..."evildoers" again I'd like pass that vote of No Confidence.

    He might as well say "those meany meany big bad men"

    i also smoked some has last night and watched Talented Mr.Ripley last night....which wasnt half bad.

By Dougie on Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 12:56 pm:

    Yeah, I said, "Sir, that's really uncalled for, especially at a time like this." He calmed down right away, and apologized to the others waiting (but not to the couple he insulted.) This must've been boiling up inside of him for years.

By Dougie on Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 01:17 pm:

    Re the media, I've been watching BBC, ITE, Bill Moyers etc. By the way, did anybody catch that poem read by Bill Moyers by a poet named Alistair Reid (spelling?) written after JFK's death? It really said it all, and I'll be damned if I can find anything by this guy.

    I usually listen to NPR on WNYC 93.9 going home from work every day. This past week, it's been dead air because they used to broadcast from atop the WTC. Very eerie.

By Alex on Wednesday, September 19, 2001 - 06:45 pm:

    yes, their transmitter was the last thing you saw when the tower went down, looming in the dust.


    im sure it has been said before, and i dont really have a right to say this i guess as im not a US citizen, but i'd feel more comfortable about this whole thing if Clinton were still in charge.

By droop on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 12:45 pm:

    i've only just now come back to this thread. for the record - i wasn't mad and i was talking about the things you thought i wasn't talking about. in my way. i never took what agatha said personally or as directed at me, it just sort of triggered memories. for example, breaking through the "you'll never understand me" barrier with the rest of the world. and it all sort of helped me clarify to myself how i was feeling now.

    but i weren't mad. kinda giddy, actually. i'm smilin' right now. y'all will never understand me.

By trace on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 08:01 pm:

By Nate on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 09:02 pm:

    alex, if clinton was in office we'd already have struck afganistan. and probably several other muslim nations to boot.

    clinton killed a lot of people.

    i am beginning to doubt that bin laden had anything to do with the planning or execution of this event.

By Eri on Thursday, September 20, 2001 - 09:45 pm:

    Clinton was given a verbal (blunt) warning from Bin Laden that he was going to do this 3 years ago. Bin Laden said he didn't care if they had a uniform or not, whether they were military or civillian. Clinton launched cruise missles that hit civillian targets in a factory and only got 3 terrorists. I am glad we have someone who is willing to really fight for us rather than launch a few missles and kill some innocents to save his own face. The plans for the 11th were found 3 years ago and jack shit got done. It happened anyways.

By dave. on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 12:47 am:

    he says he's willing to fight for us (why are we better for
    being born here than they are for being born there? name
    one person who had any say in this matter). but he's an
    oilman and that industry is conspicuous for it's ableness
    and willingness to make profit priority 1. research, from all
    sides, possible incentives to go to war against your
    competition. you'll find that innocent lives are apparently
    worth sacrificing for shareholder profits. have we evolved
    beyond that? doubtful.

By Alex on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 06:45 am:

    i dunno, i just felt more reassured i guess with clinton at the helm so to speak, even if he was a bit of a tit at times

    i guess its that whole change thing i dont like

    i never have done.

    not really anyway, still i guess it has to happen sometimes, and it often is for the best, i think

    i hope

By The Watcher on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 01:19 pm:

    Since Clinton could not run again...

    Don't forget Al Gore made his money in the Oil business too. He is a big shareholder of Occidental Petrolium.

By patrick on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 01:37 pm:

    Clinton was just more articulate thats all.

    The speech last night was terrifying. His speech writers did a number with a few lines in there.

    I'm not sure about that Eri...soudns like crap that this warning was made three years ago and ignored. Sounds anti-Clinton spew we here from Trace, valid or not. BinLaden did make warnings that he was goign to attack Americans everywhere, civilian or not, thats old news, but I dont think there was a specific WTC, NYC September 11th 2001 kind of warning.

    Bush speech made my wife cry because of its absolutes.

    Seem the gleem in his eyes. He even had a few lines in there that made me think of pops. The motherfucker think its showdown at the OK corral.

    My wife and had lengthy and at times mundane conversation about National Guard, and consideration to join should our home ever be threatened. My home, liberty, freedom and my family are the only things worth protecting. I don't think it will come to it, meaning i can't see foreign troops on our shores advancing...but should that ever happen, Id take up arms.

    Meanwhile....shits about to hit the fan.

    "fighting for us" I have an option? I don't want HIM fighting for me. Bombing Afghanis is not fighting for ME!!!!!

    Further.....why is the UN left out of this?

    He said he wanted these people turned over to American authorities, which we know AINT GONNA HAPPEN....why couldnt we have the UN at the helm? The Taliban respects the UN a lot more than they respect us, and it could possibly avoid a jihad being declared.

By J on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 01:57 pm:

    Do you think they'll still try to do something tommorrow? I saw the man they arrested in Chicago had a license to drive trucks that contain hazardous materials,my s/o said last week that they might try that. The whole world might feel bad for Americans,but they aren't all behind this war.I haven't had this much anxiety since my nervous breakdown.

By Eri on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 08:16 pm:

    Anyone questioning my anti-clinton bullshit, or thinking that I am talking from my ass can watch the show on TLC. "The truth behind Terrorism. Why they hate us." Something like that. It is on tonight. It starts as a pity party for Bin Laden and the other terrorist freaks, but ends up very heartwrenching. A lot of useful information in the show.

    I really do feel sorry for you liberals who like Clinton better because he was more eloquent. Of course, you will get better speach writers if you sleep with them or hook them up with your interns.

By Secret-agent on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 08:19 pm:

    its scary. thats all. i don't want to think about it. i want to close my eyes...

    the media scares me, the president scares me, the patriotism scares me.

    why are we all so violent? i just dont get it.

By dave. on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 08:32 pm:

    i downloaded frontline's "the hunt for bin laden" from the newsgroups the other night. also pretty illuminating in a 1 hour tv special kind of way.

By patrick on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 09:05 pm:

    im not a liberal.

    Clinton, other than Carter, was one of the most intelligent men we've had in the white house in ages. You can't deny this.

    His personal matters are irrelavent. Its facetious to judge a man based on his privatre sexual doings. Politics and sex have nothing to do with each other. If you think he was the first to stick it to an intern or an aid, or use the white house as a hotel for guests, dignitaries and celebrities in exchange for donations, you are also mistaken. He just got caught by a zealous, hypocritcal right wing gustapo who had it in for him since day one. He never got a moments rest.

    If you wish to talk about his policies and such, thats cool, we talk about that. But his sex scandels and crap are irrelavent to me.

    I can promise you Clinton's speech writers didn't have to work as hard as Bush's do.

    All im saying is he provides more comfort with is speech. He's a better communicator.

    We heard from Mayor Guiliani well before we heard from our commander in chief last tuesday.

    Using terms like "evildoers" and phrases like "wanted dead or alive" are a fright. That kind of John Wayne talk is bad for the world.

    Im not sure how you can claim his got his speech writers through bribes....but if you say so.

    I dont have cable so I cant see the TLC bit.

By Trace on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 09:19 pm:

    Check out the website I left a link to earlier.
    It has a lot of info.
    I have no doubt Clinton is intellegent. I have never questioned his intellegence.
    What I have always questioned was his integrity and ethics.
    Did you realize that today the Whitehouse ADMITTED that they do not have HARD evidence to link Bin Laden to the attacks on dc and ny? and they were holding off any military action until they did?
    That was definately a non-Clintonian statement.

By Trace on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 09:19 pm:

By trace on Friday, September 21, 2001 - 11:20 pm:

By dave. on Saturday, September 22, 2001 - 12:31 am:

    that is so fucking funny.

    america is like an overpaid athlete. ball control
    is an oxymoron.


By Secret-agent on Sunday, September 23, 2001 - 01:38 am:

    that is comforting.

By Joe on Sunday, September 23, 2001 - 01:50 am:

    right on, patrick. jimmy carter was clearly one of the most intelligent men we've ever had in the white house. unfortunately, the american public doesn't go for intelligent.

By Czarina on Sunday, September 23, 2001 - 09:33 am:

    He had a fun brother,too.

By patrick on Monday, September 24, 2001 - 12:18 pm:

    i havent read the link, the website for a TV show. Strange, for some odd reason, I'm distrustful of a website of a TV show. Is it an oxymoron?

    Im going to be hypocritical, but i think its absolutely hilarious you misspelled "intellegence" while talking about intelligence. Not that is says anything about your intelligence, but its....its.....I wanna say ironic, but thats probably not correct. Coincidence?

By The Watcher on Monday, September 24, 2001 - 04:30 pm:

    It is a shame that in our Presidents, Intelligence does not make them good at the job.

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