been screwed by a "lawn service?" Have you ever...: been screwed by a "lawn service?"
By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Wednesday, April 8, 1998 - 03:19 pm:
    Ok. *DUH* I hired a local landscaper to do some work in my yard this past weekend for $125.00. We agreed to the list of things I wanted done for that price. I was away for the weekend. My mother was there to pay him. He raked leaves (not all of them), removed debris (all of it), BUT... did not rakes leaves from backyard along fence or remove leaves from the shrubs and bushes as I had asked. He also did not rake the cut grass. This guy is now not returning my calls. My mother says I should let it go, that he still not alot for $125. My point is while he did do alot, he did not do enough. My mistake was not getting all of this in writing. FUCK!

By L.L.Andscaper on Thursday, April 9, 1998 - 12:49 am:
    Like mom said, let it go.

By Don Nate on Thursday, April 9, 1998 - 12:47 pm:
    We could go make him an offer he can't refuse...

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Thursday, April 9, 1998 - 01:24 pm:


    Lawn man called. Has been busy. *rolls eyes* He is meeting me at the house today after work to see what he "forgot" to do. Said no additional charge. Hey Don Nate, will you still come by to act as my "thug?"


By Don Natelone on Thursday, April 9, 1998 - 08:32 pm:
    Someday, and this day may never come, the Don may call upon you to perform a small favor. Until that day please accept my services as a gesture of my good will.

    Does he own any horses?

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Thursday, April 9, 1998 - 10:17 pm:

    He didn't show, DonNate.

    No horses. Pick-up Truck.

By Nate on Thursday, April 9, 1998 - 11:50 pm:
    Please do not call me DonNate. It looks too much like Donate, and, believe me, there is no charity in my line of work.

    Shall we do him now, or shall we wait until he has a chance finish the job? I already sent a dead fish to his father, so I think it would be better for our image if we did him now. But no pressure on you, understand.

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Friday, April 10, 1998 - 08:14 am:
    Ok, Mr. Nate. Gotcha. You take the front I'll bring up the rear!!! LOL

By Louis the Turkey on Sunday, April 19, 1998 - 08:21 am:
    Hey, hold it down...other people are trying to sleep here!!!! You two aren't the only ones living in this piano....

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Sunday, April 19, 1998 - 08:48 am:
    ok... *thinking that Louis message is the oddest I've seen yet on Sorabji*

    btw, the yeard work was never completed. He'll never be hired again!

By Markus on Sunday, April 19, 1998 - 06:26 pm:
    Hey, Jim, if you've got a mower, I'll cut your grass for free if I can borrow the sucker for my yard.

By Loose on Wednesday, June 3, 1998 - 12:06 am:
    i've never neem screwed by an intire lawn service before. that's still to come

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Wednesday, June 3, 1998 - 08:13 am:

    Markus, I'm just NOW reading your offer to mow my lawn. Nothing like timely replies, eh? Well I don't have a mower. Been borrowing a neighbors. Thanks anyway! Do you do windows???

By Sarah on Thursday, June 4, 1998 - 04:35 am:
    only when i'm *really* hard up.

By Markus on Saturday, June 6, 1998 - 06:19 pm:
    Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Let's not spread those kind of rumors. Unless you somehow know about my housework gigolo days back in my youth, and I think I've covered that up pretty well.

    And anyway, JakaPJB, snooze ya lose, after renting one once after the grass got to actionable length in the legal sense, I met the diminuative old lady next door who told me to use her deluxe selfpropelled model anytime and use her gas as well, went into a discourse on her Greek origins, and told me not to worry if I heard screaming coming from her house, as her son (known to us only as the Wild Man of Borneo from his appearance) was in a car accident, as she tapped her head. She's so sweet I think I'm going to bake her some chocolate chip cookies, now that apple/raspberry crisp season is over.

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Saturday, June 6, 1998 - 11:51 pm:
    Markus that was SO funny! But since we can't abbreviate laugh out loud anymore, and since HA! seems too sarcastic, let me just say I about pissed myself when I read the bit about "Wild Man of Borneo" and "now that apple/raspberry crisp season is over."

    But you never answered my question. Do you do windows?

By Markus on Sunday, June 7, 1998 - 01:07 am:
    Nope. Nor do I do Windows.

    The WMoB is also small, but wiry, and has long dark hair pulled back. Over all, his stooped posture and lack of vocalisms give him a vaguely simian demeanor. He usually dresses in dirty sweats, and has been see wandering the breadth of the county, though he occasionally has access to a car of sorts. He and his mother take in two or three boarders generally of the ne'er-do-well variety; they crashed one of our periodic parties with tiki torches and a steel drum band on the lawn, and they had been drinking already and had their ugly heads on; one was bleeding profusely and obliviously from his elbow, until some of the women at the party patched him up. We kept expecting a Rear Window type scene of the Wild Man digging in the backyard in the middle of the night, and then having a new set of boarders show up each month at the parties. But as in most things in life, it all turns out to be more prosaic than imagined.

    Gotta add that while I've always eschewed propelled mowers with the proper scorn, my current lawn has the worst hills I've ever mowed and I'm damned glad to have it now.

By Pete on Sunday, June 7, 1998 - 09:20 pm:
    Markus....let me know when the WMoB is out and about and I'll make it a point to avoid your part of Arl. I don't need any further run-ins with the crazies....I think I've met my quota for this lifetime.

By Markus on Thursday, June 11, 1998 - 08:47 pm:
    It's not just my part. He's been spotted in Rosslyn in the morning, and then the same afternoon near Falls Church, on a day without a car. That guy gets around.

    Coincidentally, went to the Outer Banks for my birthday and was reading Redmond O'Hanlon's Into the Heart of Borneo on the beach.

Markus on Thursday, August 27, 1998 - 05:39 pm:

    I've periodically over the summer borrowed the old lady's mower from the shed up the mountainside, and figured it was the least I could do to mow her lawn while I was at it. It would seem that kids just don't mow lawns anymore these days, and she was in the same predicament that I was. This also had the effect of having three separate neighbors talk to me for the first time, asking if I was that boy who mowed Bessie's lawn for her, and wasn't that nice of me. Since we haven't had any all-night-until-dawn parties this summer what with the Coonass having moved out, I think this has done wonders for our reputation in the neighborhood.

    For the last four or five weeks, I've put off doing the lawn, as we haven't had much rain, By this weekend, I figured I couldn't skate anymore and reckoned to do it Sunday. On Saturday morning, I left the house early to go on duty as a volunteer medic/firefighter, and saw a cop pulling up to the house next door. Didn't think much of it, as I was still asleep; figured one of the ne'er-do-well tenants was in trouble again.

    Sunday evening, after it cooled off a bit, I went up the hillside to get the mower. I had seen the Wild Man of Borneo stomping around the place a little earlier, but he was apparently gone. As I opened the shed and started getting out the mower, I heard a shout, and there he was coming up towards me. It turns out that he speaks after all, though his English isn't any better than his mother's. He wondered why I was doing it; hadn't I heard that his mother died? It turns out that she fell down the steps in the dark early Saturday morning. He said she was better now, she had wanted to die. He was very calm and matter of fact, though I was shocked, and offered my condolences. It turns out that the cops were there from 5 AM to 1 PM; I have no idea whether to be suspicious. But the whole thing left me a little stunned. As mourners were arriving at the house, I mowed both lawns, put the machine away, and went inside.

By Sheila on Friday, August 28, 1998 - 12:52 pm:

    Now none of us can ever again mow the lawn without thinking about this incident.

    I already suffered from obsessive ideas while mowing, but it usually resulted in Things I Need To Tell Blindswine. (for his own good)

    In the future I can visualize mowing the shriveled heads of little old ladies muttering last words in gibberish.

    The prospect is so intriguing, I'm going out to do it this minute.

By Whet on Sunday, August 30, 1998 - 08:22 am:

    I still can't belive you have to pay $125 for any kind of lawn service, unless your house sits on 4 acres and it takes him most of the day.

    I mean yesterday I saw push lawnmowers on sale for $129. NEW. Last one I bought at a yard sale (tag sale) for $10, and it cost $1 to fix.

    Looking around here have got 4 riders, 2 self propelled and 2 push. (brother used to be in the landscape business) and I repair equipment large and small.

    Most of his lawns were done for the $25-$50 range.... never over $100, unless it involved building retaining walls and moving dirt - just talking cutting grass and raking leaves stuff.

    My cousin is retired and just bought a very nice $1800 riding mower, and yet he cuts grass for several people, including churches, and none of them are over $50, including the cemetery, and thats a real pain going around all the markers.

    Look at the numbers. Say it takes this dude 12.5 hours to complete the task, thats still $10/hr CASH, no tax, tag and title and thats not bad money for pushing around a mower and raking leaves, not a hell of a lot of overhead either. What - a pick up truck and *mabe* $250 lawnmower if he bought it new and got a name brand? He probably already had the pick up truck.

    I'm not complaining about people making money - I'm talking about people PAYING too much money for things that shouldn't really cost that much. Prime example plumbers. Mabe its worth it to some people to pay $80/hr not to get residue of their own feces on their hands... but shit (pardon the pun) if I'm paying that much an hour I would expect something more along the lines of personal pampering, not plumbing.

    Last thing I paid $80/hr for was a monster bulldozer, pushing down full grown TREES and cutting a road back in the middle of the woods. That was $80/hr for the dozer, fuel, operator, *everything* and that guys overhead included a tractor trailer n lowboy to haul the dozer around, I'm talking say $150k capital investment in equipment alone. I thought that was a good deal. He did an excellent job too.

    It seems logical that the cost of a service to a customer would be somewhat in line with the cost to the business owner, plus profit - but its nowhere near that these days.


    People mainly. People are NUTS. Say the plumber got sued by someone. Mabe a good reason, mabe not - but he gets sued and has to have insurance and a lawyer and all that crap and his costs skyrocket. But alas all back to people being nutty and emotional. Anything that preys on people being nutty costs TOO MUCH. Weddings, funerals, plumbers, anywhere you throw logic to the wind you end up with excessive cost all the way around and no one wins.

    I want to start a campaign for people to just CHILL. If something costs too much - just say no.

    I'm concerned about society in general and whats becoming the new set of values. Overinflated egos and salaries and costs and a totally detached remote control push button insensitive method of doing business based strictly on profit and how to best manipulate people based on their emotional weaknesses. Thats really cold. That sucks.

    What ever happened to simple living?

    Forget about cultural, religious, racial, socioeconomic, and political differences, all the things people use to identify others as NOT part of 'our' group - thus justify not having to treat them as equals or even as human beings.

    Mabe I'm a nut. Or mabe I'm struggling to accept what living in this lifetime has become.

    Either way, $125 is TOO DAMN MUCH.

    For $125, I'll not only do your lawn, I'll throw in a 30 min shoulder massage, and if you help, we'll be done in half a day and you can keep the mower as a bonus!
    Now to me THATS the way to do business.
    Everyone wins.

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Wednesday, September 2, 1998 - 10:06 am:

    Sign me up NOW!!!

By Liam on Wednesday, September 2, 1998 - 12:56 pm:

    Deflaction accelerates, Wall Street gets pounded, fear and panic grip the nation. Oh well, at least gas is cheap.

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