A Merry Christmas

sorabji.com: What do you want?: A Merry Christmas

By Cat on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 09:10 am:

    On a slightly sloppy note...I'm really glad you all came into my life this year. I was lonely and so many of you made a big difference. I never thought people I didn't know could actually mean so much, in so many different ways.

    You should know that you all happened at a time when I had learned to distrust strangers. But you taught me to breathe again.

    Especially to Mark, I send my love, for the forum..and for...well...he knows.

    I love ewes, and want to do bad things to half of you...and the rest, I just want to trade lipsticks with.

    Have a very Merry Christmas, with my thanks for being there in 2000.

By semillama on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 09:50 am:

    Thank you Cat. People like you make this place what it is.

    i think this place disporves all those folks that go on TV and claim that the internet is incapable of forming real communities.

By patrick on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 12:13 pm:


    um cat, can you elaborate on the bad things...to whom? I just had this vision of nate slumped over a saddle holder in a barn, in traces backyard and you with some bitchin 9" heeled boots ,an evil grin and an assload of authority....



    happy holiday to you too miss cat....we await your subtle seduction and subsequent coup of the fallacy we call the 43rd presidency

    i'll go now

By patrick on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 01:58 pm:

    So what will everyone be doing? How will everyone celebrate?

    We tend to get together with angrysam and a few others and have "orphan" holiday parties.

    there are a few others who participate as well. We may do a champagne brunch like we did 3 years ago. which is a mere excuse to drink champagne before noon. that xmas was a doozy....drank from 11ish on through the night...went to another orhpan/been-with-the-familia-all-day-im-outta-here kind of party and wrapped up a 14 hour + alcohol binge. And they say people are depressed over the holidays....

    i love cranking xmas tunes by the Boston Pops or the London Symphony Orchestra at max on the eve and xmas morning. who's gonna complain?

    xmas without the familiy is so damn wonderful. sure i miss the traditional crip crap and my uncles game room complete with pinball, that driving video game and the pool table...but hey...we'll make do.

    last year we ended up at jumbo's getting sloshed on xmas day. who knows what will happen.

    (trace i suppose finding me in a strip bar on xmas day could earn me a front row seat in hell, but i swear i tip very generously on such an occassion so these gals can afford to buy nice things for their kids and family. and in all honesty, i bet if tied you up, threw you in the back of the truck, sat you in a strip bar with a cold one on xmas day you wouldnt bitch too loud now would you)

By pez on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 02:01 pm:

    good yule

    happy hanukkah

    merry (? what do you say for kwanzaa, anyway?) kwanzaa

    may the force be with you.

By Holden on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 02:56 pm:

    Merry Christmas!

By J on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 03:43 pm:

    I have a bad habit of waiting till the last minute to do anything,just did my cards yesterday,and now I have to do all my shopping at the last minute.

By The Dinner Lady on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 03:47 pm:

    My insane aunt (married into my family, my uncle's 3rd wife) called me about 8 times last week. She has a voice like Linda Richmond of Coffee Talk fame and sounds like she is going to burst into tears over everything even mundane matters like buying new lightbulbs or making stew.

    The first call was over an hour of her telling me about the couples therapy she is in with my uncle and about her quitting smoking. My exciting additions to the conversation were 'Uh huh' 'well' and 'ya'. Then my uncle took the phone and argued with my aunt since she would not stop talking the whole time as he tried to tell me what they had gotten me for XMAS 'You know that store where they sell...' and I took my ear away from the phone and yelled 'I'm not listening to you'. The call ended with him saying 'OK, look you want to take to her you take the damn phone!'

    The next morning at 7AM my crazy aunt called again to say that she realized we only talked about her the night before and she wanted to hear all about my life. Since then she has called me 1-2 times a day leaving pleading messages to hear about my life. I will be seeing her on Christmas anyway.

    I would say I hate it, but I must admit, at least she is plenty good story.

By Hal on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 03:51 pm:


    That is probably how I'm going to spend my christmas...

By semillama on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 04:43 pm:

    I usually spend xmas with my family. I spend the eve with my dad and brother, the day with mom and brother, and we usually have dinner with either the real-life Griswolds or our ex-pat brit friends. This year I am bringing up all the cats in my house (including Mavis'. However,only my cat is allowed upstairs,since the other two are too hyper for my brother's 16-year-old cat, Gretzky, to handle. Sometimes my brother and I go to a movie on christmas day, one year it was beavis and butthead (which will land me in the flaming seat next to Patrick). This year, one of my oldest friends will be back in town with his new fiance, so much ruckus will be raised.
    I get to spend a whole two weeks at home, so I also can sleep in every day! That's what I am really looking forward to!

By Nate on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 09:27 pm:

    i sleep in every day anyway.

    I'm going to my parents' Saturday and will be back at work Tuesday.

    I'm going to end up spoiling my neice. It was bad enough that A. went out to buy more blanket/jumpers/booties for my nephew to reduce the imbalance.

    I just don't get as inspired to buy things for infants.

    Christmas eve will be a monster party at A.'s brother's girlfriend's parents'. It was insane last year. They all drink like college kids. And the columbian mom makes foriegn treats all night.

    i like the deep fried pastries with powdered sugar on the outside and beef on the inside. they have a spanish name.

    christmas afternoon/night is spent traditionally at my aunt and uncle's in SF. this year A.'s parents will be attending, and maybe her brother and his girlfriend.

    it's going to be a whacky mess.

By Tired on Wednesday, December 20, 2000 - 10:21 pm:

    empanadas, nate, and they're even good baked and sans sugar, if you make them right. I'll try to coax a recipie out of my empanada hookup for ya.

By J on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 02:05 am:

    Did I ever mention that I love green corn tamales?

By Tom on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 07:23 am:

    Xmas will be spent alone. I don't have plans for any special boozing yet, but you never know.

    I've officially made one friend in this city. I was supposed to go out to a karaoke bar with her tonight, but ended up not doing so. We may get together with a few other "orphans" and pretend we aren't all lonely.

    More likely, I'll make a few phone calls and then go curl up somewhere.

    dropped my roommate off at the amtrak station today; she's going to her mom's place for a week. So I have this altogether too large apartment, no job, and no family within 600 miles.

    These are the times when you could just up and walk away, you know?

    Not that I miss the roommate. Monday night, I went out drinking without her, and she threw a fit; stabbed two potatoes (and the wall), threw a mug across the house, broke random stuff, then got wasted and fell asleep.

    Trace, I'm still waiting to be invited to Xmas. It's only the sporting thing to do, you know.

    I remember every year before going to my dad's house on Christmas mornings, he would stop the three of us, his natural children, and say "now, please don't be upset if there are more presents for M and R (my step-siblings) than for you guys."

    I think that really turned me off on Christmas.

By Tom on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 07:24 am:

    Oh. And.

    Cat rocks.

By Trace on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 07:25 am:

    I would love to invite you over for xmas, but we will not be home

By Tom on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 08:20 am:


    I can't deal with this, anymore.


    I'm so 500% upset about not getting to spend xmas with Trace and Family (give my best to the family, will you? Wish them all happy holidays for me. thanks) that I will have to ramble on an inappropriate thread.

    I had a Sorabji dream last night.

    I remembered two different dreams from one night. Incredible.

    I heard a noise in my house. I was sure that the roommate was in trouble. She threatened to kill herself recently, so I wanted to get up and make sure she was okay. I tried to get up, sleepy though I was. I couldn't move.

    Have any of you ever had those moments of half-awake / half asleep when you couldn't move? I know that the body "locks up" while you dream, to prevent you from hurting yourself; sometimes, while waking up, my body stays locked up, it seems like. So I was panicking, locked up, trying to get to the roommate. Then I realized that I must be dreaming, so I forced myself to wake up. I did, blinked, looked around, and tried to push myself up and out of bed.

    and I still couldn't move. I realized I was still asleep. so I forced myself to wake up, but realized that I still couldn't move. I repeated this process about 5 times before actually waking up and realizing that I had fallen asleep with my hands trapped underneath my chest, which was why I couldn't move them.

    I went back to sleep. and.

    I was in California again. Both of my parents, both step parents, both natural siblings were there in Mendocino, as were many of my Mendocino friends.

    I was going to drive back to Chico, where I was raised, with all the families (who hate each other) cramped in one little red Isuzu Trooper, and I was looking for another transportation option.

    There was a grey minivan parked in the middle of the street. I saw a young woman climbing in, and I asked her where she was headed. "Chico," she said. I was about to ask for a ride when she turned to face me. It was Bell_Jar. I don't know what Bell_Jar looks like, but I don't think she looks like this. The Bell_Jar in the dream was VERY heavyset, wearing all grey; sweatpants and a sweater. I remember finding her incredibly attractive. Before I could say anything, though, a friend from Mendocino (Lilliah) danced out of the alleyway brandishing a buck-knife, swiping it at the air and singing "doo-doo-de-doo! I've got a kni-ife, I've got a kni-ife! doo-de-doo-de-doo-doo!"

    Bell_Jar and I turned to watch, and another girl came running out of the alley after the first. This girl was a mix; half of her was Rhea, one of Isolde's co-workers; half of her was Pez. Rhea/Pez picked up the other girl and slammed her violently against a wall, shouting about how dangerous knives were and threatening to beat the shit out of her.

    Another car drove by and stalled on the street. A pale green muscle car. Two young men with surf boards were inside; Patrick and Nate. I asked them where they were headed as Nate got out to fix the car. They informed me that they were visiting the American Art Museum (never heard of the place. In the dream, I knew that it was in Nevada). I wished them good luck and turned back to ask Bell_Jar for a ride to Chico, but her car was suddenly crammed completely full of people; a solid square of flesh, almost. I knew that the people squished in the van were other Sorabjites. I recognized Gee and Cat and J and Kalliope.

    Bell_Jar started apologizing for not having any room left, but I shrugged and turned to watch Patrick and Nate: they were getting in a fist-fight with two young men; these two were surfer-stoners who I actually know in CA. I ran towards them to try to break it up, but before I could, it became a brawl; mendocino-ites vs. sorabjites. I remember that the sorabjites were winning mainly because of Sem. He was dressed like a Cleric in Dungeons and Dragons, and he had a power akin to "turn undead;" he could "turn soiler," 'soiler' our nickname for a certain class of people in Mendocino. Sort of a hick/stoner/surfer mix.

    I resigned myself to driving back with my family, and as soon as i did so, everything disappeared; the brawl, the knife-fight, bell_jar and the van of sorabjites, and my family. I started walking along highway 1, which runs up and down the coast, figuring I would have to hitch-hike my way to Chico.

    I was passed by a truck full of three old men; I recognized Droopy, Mark Thomas, and Trace. They were all crusty-looking 50-ish in age, and dressed like elmer fudd on a hunting trip; there was a gun rack on their truck. They stopped and wished me happy holidays. I thanked them and asked where they were headed.

    "The American Art Museum, of course!" They said it so cheerfully. In unison.

    they drove away, and I walked along the highway until I woke up.

By Trace on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 08:27 am:

    "Have any of you ever had those moments of half-awake / half asleep when you couldn't move? I know that the body "locks up" while you dream, to prevent you from hurting yourself; sometimes, while waking up, my body stays locked up, it seems like. So I was panicking, locked up, trying to get to the roommate. Then I realized that I must be dreaming, so I forced myself to wake up. I did, blinked, looked around, and tried to push myself up and out of bed.
    Yes. I thought there was something wrong with me, I have been mostly awake, cannot move, and can hear a bug crawl across the carpet. Scares the shit out of me.
    What part of Mo? (NE, SE, NW, SW)?

By Cat on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 08:30 am:

    Strange how you can dream about people you've never seen. I hope you made me look pretty, tall and happy.

By semillama on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 09:25 am:

    What's funny is that he totally nailed me. I do have that power, you know.

    I get a stipend of free pot to stay away from Rainbow gatherings.

By Czarina on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 10:52 am:

By Trace on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 10:56 am:


By patrick on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 12:19 pm:

    nate are you passing through LA?

By Nate on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 12:50 pm:

    at the moment? no.

By patrick on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 01:17 pm:

    over the holiday?

By dave. on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 03:19 pm:

    i'm over it.

By Nate on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 03:33 pm:

    no, i'm going north.

By J on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 03:47 pm:

    I'm going to Mexico,gotta stock up on the medication.

By Trace on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 03:58 pm:

    Pick me up some shit

By Nate on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 04:16 pm:


By J on Thursday, December 21, 2000 - 06:27 pm:

    The horseshit ciggerettes?

By Trace on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 07:22 am:

    No, sillies. the good stuff you have to have a script for here. Painkillers. Besides, the horse shit goes into the Dodge Ram Seats, for god's sakes. I dont wanna know what goes into the ciggarettes.

By Dougie on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 11:14 am:

    Nice missive, Cat. Here's wishing everybody a great 2001.

By Nate on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 12:17 pm:

    isn't that immoral, trace?

    i'll like some percs, xanax.


By Trace on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 12:22 pm:

    Drugs can really help your morality.

By patrick on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 12:53 pm:

    id like to order ruffies (if they still sell em), a bottle of valium, and some dexi time release capsules please.


By Nate on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 02:40 pm:

    what kind of drugs do you do, trace?

    drugs can destroy your morality, too. depends on the drug.

    i think dope has improved my moral structure.

    i certainly don't go around breaking shit and hurting people anymore.

By Trace on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 02:51 pm:

    Just ciggarettes and pain killers

By Nate on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 03:16 pm:

    i didn't know you were a nicotine addict.


    maybe i did.

    you should smoke some dope, trace.

By Trace on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 03:23 pm:

    I tried pot, but it never had any effect on me

By patrick on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 03:28 pm:

    sometimes it takes once or twice. but you may also have been smoking that midwest highway weed.

    we should send you some of the CA woweeee zoweee.

    last night a neighbor came over to ask us to get his mail over the holidays, we invited him in for a glass of wine. we have lived next door to him and his fiabnce for two years and never really sat and chatted. after an hour or so, we finally said

    "do you smoke grass?"

    "sure, why not"

    he got so baked....it was the funniest thing. if you don't smoke on a regular basis, this shit will send you to the moon. he had a good time, i was happy to provide

By J on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 03:28 pm:

    Trace,you didn't give it a chance.

By Dougie on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 03:32 pm:

    Pot makes me paranoid. I used to smoke a lot in junior high & high school, then in college, it started freaking me out, so I smoked less and less. A couple of years ago, I tried it again, and got really paranoid and wondered what I had ever liked about feeling high. I'll take a beer any day over that crap.

By Trace on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 03:49 pm:

    I tried it a couple of times, and inhaled and held it in (my uncle was anal about it, if you did not do it right, he did not let you "waste" it). It never did anything. One day, I will tell you the stories of my uncle who lives in a 50 year old one bed travel trailer on his moms yard........

By dave. on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 04:07 pm:

    makes me paranoid too. must stay away from weed.

By Nate on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 04:53 pm:

    i remember you saying it was an age thing, dave.

    i've been having heavy paranoia trips when i go to bed high.

    the cats wresting upstairs doesn't help.

By dave. on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 05:28 pm:

    i think it's a mental health thing. could be both.

    burlap bag, brick and a body of water.

    see? simple solution.

By Nate on Friday, December 22, 2000 - 06:11 pm:

    hm. if i knock off the cats i'd have to knock off A. too.

    it could get messy.

By Czarina on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 02:47 am:

    Now I'm paranoid.I'm afraid I'll run into Trace's "uncle who lives in a 50 year old one bed travel trailer on his moms yard".

    Trace,you have painted a much too vivid picture of this uncle of yours,at this late hour.

    Kittys are nocturnal.And they DON'T like water.

By Daniel ssss on Saturday, December 23, 2000 - 09:51 pm:

    uh uhh. My cat Bubba loved water especially after he slid across the Vermont Casting Wood Stove cooktop one morning. We had to hold his four paws in ice water...after that, he loved any kind of water except the very very cold kind.

    My cat ALF liked water too. And beer. I had two other cats, they were ambivlent. However, a cat from youth, Tom we called em, liked to drink Strohs from the bottle caps and would ride on the barbeque grill (he was lit not the grill) claws clinging to the grate while I spun him until dizzy. He loved it. Died happy too, only cat I've ever seen have smile on his face when he gave up his tenth insight.

    Then there is CAT. She likes the water too. Or so I'm told.

By Czarina on Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 01:13 am:

    I once had a bird that liked to drink bloody mary's.But he'd get belligerent[not to me,but anyone else who was there],actually,he was a testy little fellow,come to think of it.I once came home from the hospital,and found his cage hanging outside,in the dog kennel,and he had black stuff all over his beak,which I soon discovered was from eating a massive amount of Oreo cookies,which the guy I was seeing had been feeding him all afternoon,hoping to induce a "birdie heart attack".Then,the jerk had the audacity to tell me that my bird would take the cookies,then reach and bite him "real hard",after each cookie.Birds really are much smarter than we give them credit for.The bird returned to the comfort of my home.The jerk did not.

By Isolde on Sunday, December 24, 2000 - 06:09 pm:

    I'll be spending it out of FloVent, eating dinner with an old teacher. I am tired and I hate Christmas with a passion.

By Daniel ssss on Monday, December 25, 2000 - 02:10 am:

    thanks Mark.

By semillama on Monday, December 25, 2000 - 12:47 pm:

    Gonna spend some time with my high school/college best friend and his new fiance. I am ambivalent about the fiance bit but only because this shit is startign to make me feel each tick of the clock.


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