Bush to do it right:

sorabji.com: What do you want?: Bush to do it right:

By The Heritage Foundation on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 12:07 pm:

    Homeland Security

    The United States is more prepared to combat terrorism today than it was on September 11, 2001, but much still remains to be done. The creation of the Department of Homeland Security on January 24 is the first, not the final, step in developing a program to secure the United States from attack. The country needs an enduring domestic security program, including appropriate institutional and legislative reforms at all levels of government. Effectively managing the transition to the Department of Homeland Security must remain a top priority for 2003. However, a balance must constantly be sought between protecting America’s people and protecting those fundamental rights and civil liberties that make us Americans.
    Establish an intelligence fusion center in the DHS. The best way to solve the problems identified by the joint House–Senate inquiry into the September 11 terrorist attacks would be to remove authority for deciding what information should be shared from the agencies that collect it. The DHS should develop and deploy an information technology infrastructure that links and fuses intelligence and law enforcement terrorism databases. Doing so would ensure that all federal, state, and local officials with anti-terrorism roles have access to the information they require. To ensure information sharing and protect security, the DHS should provide security clearances for relevant state officials, providing them access to intelligence information. Such action will facilitate cooperation in federal and state crisis response and law enforcement activities.

    Increase defense spending over the long term to make up for past deficiencies and to support force modernization. The U.S. armed forces were underfunded for much of the 1990s. The result has been readiness problems, aging equipment, and technological stagnation in much of the force. The American public must be reminded that recent increases in defense spending only begin to reverse the problem and that modernizing the force requires sustained funding.
    Focus urgently on military transformation. We must resist the temptation to assume that because our current force has been successful in Afghanistan, it is sufficient for future operations. Most of our force was built for conventional war in Europe. We are engaged in a conflict that requires the ability to identify and strike global targets with precision. Often these targets may be among civilian populations and against enemies far superior to the Taliban. Our current force is not built for this environment. The U.S. military must be transformed into an agile force that can be projected very quickly to operate in a variety of combat environments with superior firepower, information, and technology.
    Missile Defense

    Work to end the vulnerability of the American people and the allies to missile attack. This is the reason why, on June 13, 2002, the United States withdrew from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty. With the restrictions of the treaty no longer in place, U.S. research and development has progressed to the point where on December 17, 2002, the President was able to order the deployment of an initial, limited ballistic missile defense system by late 2004. The United States should build on this initial capability by deploying additional ballistic missile defense components on land, at sea, in the air, and in space.
    Arms control is an essential part of U.S. nonproliferation policy and an important tool for protecting national security. The Bush Administration is establishing a new model for arms control. In the past, the success of arms control too often has been defined in terms of accommodating the demands of threatening regimes and not in terms of improving American national security. It should be judged on the basis of the agreements it produces and their enforcement, not in the value of the process. This is why the Administration was able to conclude the Moscow Treaty with Russia for reductions in offensive nuclear weapons, which clearly strengthens the national security of the United States, in a fraction of the time required to negotiate other major arms control agreements. The President should call on the Senate to consent to the ratification of the Moscow Treaty, free of extraneous conditions, as soon as possible.
    International Terrorism

    Grind down Al-Qaeda in a relentless war. Although Osama bin Laden’s Al-Qaeda terrorist network has been disrupted by the U.S. military victory in Afghanistan and the overthrow of its Taliban protectors, it has regrouped and remains a potent threat to the United States and its allies. The Bush Administration must lead an international effort to hunt down, capture, or kill bin Laden and his top lieutenants; infiltrate their cells wherever possible; cut off the flow of their funds; and unravel their support network.
    Win the peace in Afghanistan. The U.S. decisively won the military battle in Afghanistan and now must consolidate the peace to prevent the return of Islamic extremism. It must bolster the fledgling Karzai government and help train the Afghan Army, rebuild the shattered infrastructure to jump-start the economy, and build a stable democracy there that does not export Islamic extremism, terrorism, or drugs.
    The United Nations

    Develop a pragmatic relationship with the United Nations. Americans value the founding ideals of the U.N. Charter, but the United Nations has not proven to be a reliable champion for those ideals because many members of that body are not. Examples of this lack of leadership include Libya’s chairmanship of the U.N. Human Rights Commission despite its own record of human rights abuse and the failure of the body to condemn the brutal regime of President Mugabe of Zimbabwe. Therefore, America must develop a relationship with the United Nations that seeks to work with the organization when possible and necessary for American interests, but that is not constrained by U.N. approval when action is needed.
    Europe and NATO

    Challenge the leaders of Europe to join the U.S. in pushing for agricultural liberalization in an effort to make Doha remembered historically as the development trade deal. It is time for our friends in Europe to put their money where their mouths are. Trade and not aid are commonly acknowledged as the genuine hope of the future for the developing world; the cap stops this from happening.
    Urge the Europeans to make good on their promises to improve and modernize their militaries. The 2002 Prague summit held the bright promise of updating NATO to suit the needs of the new era we live in. A robust enlargement occurred, and a new rapid deployment force was agreed to, as a step in the process of seeing that the alliance remains interoperable. 2003 is the year the Europeans must commit themselves to increase their defense budgets and implement the reforms needed to see that the promise of Prague is secured.
    Russia And Eurasia

    Recognize Russia’s contribution to the war against terrorism in voting with the United States on U.N. Security Council resolution 1441. Iraq owes Russia an old debt, and the U.S. government should work with the next Iraqi government to take steps to repay it.
    Encourage Russia to continue cooperating in increasing its oil production.
    Discourage Russia’s nuclear industry from supplying dual-use nuclear technology to Iran—a prime sponsor of terrorism. Nuclear-armed Iran will be a threat to the whole world, including Russia. This shortsighted trade must be stopped.
    South and Southeast Asian Security

    Encourage Pakistan and India to adopt substantial institutional controls, develop responsible doctrine, and conform to international agreements on their nuclear weapons.
    Continue to push the countries of Southeast Asia to cooperate with each other on the war on terrorism. Southeast Asia must respond to the challenge of combating terrorism. Al-Qaeda cells and their affiliates are scattered throughout the region, and the governments of the region must work together, with the United States, to bring them to justice.
    The United States is successfully promoting economic development in South and Southeast Asia through trade. Washington recently completed negotiations on a free trade agreement with Singapore, has begun similar negotiations with Australia, and intends to expand trade with other countries. Expanded trade relations, especially with India and Indonesia, the world’s second and fourth most populous countries, will be mutually beneficial.
    Asian Security

    Insist that China do more to end proliferation activities, reduce its military threat to Taiwan, respect human rights, and open its markets.
    Northeast Asian Security

    Demand that North Korea verifiably dismantle its nuclear programs. North Korea’s reckless violations of its nuclear weapons obligations are an affront to the nonproliferation framework, not merely a challenge to the United States.
    The challenge of North Korea must also be borne by the United Nations, China, and Russia.
    Promote strengthened U.S. alliances in Asia. The major naval, air, sea, and special operations contributions to this global campaign against terrorism from Japan, Australia, South Korea, and other friends and allies in Asia are proof that these alliances are stronger than ever.
    Enhance the U.S.–Korean alliance. The alliance remains strong as it enters its 50th year. The United States’ and Korea’s leaders are convinced that this alliance is a cornerstone of peace and stability in Northeast Asia.
    The Middle East

    Isolate and undermine the axis of evil. Washington should seek to maintain tight economic sanctions against Tehran and relentlessly pressure it to halt its support of terrorism and religious fanaticism while encouraging democratic reform.
    Fight terrorism, which has flourished in the Middle East and metastasized to become a global threat because it has enjoyed the support of state sponsors such as Iran, Iraq, Syria, Libya, and Sudan. Saudi Arabia has been a financial enabler. In the long run, the U.S. should support democratic opposition forces in these countries to gain power and halt support for terrorism.

    Disarm Iraq, by force if necessary. Saddam Hussein has thumbed his nose at the U.N. Security Council for 12 years. If he continues to default on his disarmament obligations, the United States should prod the Security Council to enforce its own resolutions. If the Security Council fails to follow through again to enforce its resolutions, the United States must do the right thing and lead a coalition of the willing to disarm Iraq and destroy its prohibited weapons. A byproduct of this will likely be to end the regime of Saddam Hussein.
    Latin America

    Support deeper development of democratic institutions by backing Latin American efforts to enhance checks and balances on autocratic presidencies, ensure direct representation of constituents, define the role of local government, and establish the rule of law. Despots and would-be dictators like Cuba’s Fidel Castro, Venezuela’s President Hugo Chávez, and Haiti’s Jean Bertrand-Aristide represent the past, not the future, of Latin America.
    Encourage economic reform by switching U.S. development priorities from health and environmental goals to promoting free-market reforms that will reduce government intervention in local economies and make it easier for small businesses to get a start. Only markets can provide opportunities for lasting prosperity and help cultivate strong trade partnerships to support other goals such as improving public health and environmental stewardship.
    Promote regional cooperation on emerging security priorities. The current U.S. approach favors training, equipping, and exercising with Latin American militaries. While that is still important, America needs to foster cooperation between civilian and military agencies on a regional basis to combat new international crime and terrorism threats that transcend traditional military response.

    Continue efforts like the African Growth and Opportunity Act, which opens the U.S. market to African entrepreneurs, and the Millennium Challenge Account, which rewards nations that embrace policies that contribute to development including economic freedom, the rule of law and good governance, and investing in health and education. But America cannot force governments to adopt policies that lead to development: African nations themselves must enact these changes if they are to realize the promise of development.
    Trade Policy

    Negotiate more free-trade agreements and exert leadership in the World Trade Organization. Agriculture is crucial to the Doha Round. The United States should lead by example and liberalize agriculture by lowering tariffs and cutting subsidies.
    The United States should likewise put an end to the protection of steel and textiles.
    The Millennium Challenge Account

    Reward, through the Millennium Challenge Account, developing countries that govern justly, invest in the health and education of their people, and promote economic freedom.
    Tax Reform: Reducing the Burden of Taxation

    Ending the double taxation of dividends is the crown jewel of the tax package, but the President also is calling for other important reforms. The plan would immediately implement the 2004 and 2006 tax rate reductions, for instance, and the tax on small business investment would be reduced (the “expensing” provision). These proposals will help America’s economy grow faster because they focus on supply-side principles such as reducing tax rates on work, saving, and investment. Proposals that simply give people money, by contrast, such as rebates and credits, do not lower the price of productive behavior and therefore have little or no positive impact on economic performance.
    The Federal Budget

    The federal budget is about priorities. The nation’s first priority, protecting its citizens from terrorism, requires fully funding America’s defense and homeland security needs. Tax relief will help achieve the second priority of removing obstacles to economic growth and job creation. For America to fund defense and relieve the tax burden without increasing the budget deficit, reducing spending elsewhere must be the third priority. Leadership requires making the difficult and necessary decisions to reduce spending for lower-priority programs, even those protected by special interests.
    Education: Give Every Child the Opportunity to Attend a Quality School

    Less than a third of American fourth and eighth graders are proficient in math, reading, science, or history, according to national tests. The news is even bleaker for low-income, minority, and special-needs children. Policies that give all children the opportunity to attend a quality school must be adopted. Vouchers for poor students and those with disabilities will give vulnerable populations access to quality public and private schools. The reauthorization of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and other legislation will give the President and Congress the opportunity to make significant reform.
    Reality-Based Scoring

    Encourage the congressional leadership to instruct Congress’s Joint Committee on Taxation and the Congressional Budget Office to use reality-based economic models when estimating the fiscal effects of tax policy changes. The President should then demand that the U.S. Department of the Treasury and the Office of Management and Budget do the same.
    Social Security: Improving Retirement Income

    Following the success of 2002 candidates who openly supported his position on Social Security reform, President Bush will reaffirm during his January 28, 2003, State of the Union speech that allowing workers to invest a portion of their existing payroll taxes remains a key Administration priority. Social Security is rapidly approaching a financial crisis. Younger and minority workers will receive very poor returns on their payroll taxes. In addition, today’s Social Security does not allow families to create wealth that could be used to improve their economic status. Workers must be allowed to invest a large part of their existing retirement taxes in personal retirement accounts. Also, a reformed Social Security must include minimum benefit standards and not reduce the benefits of current retirees or those who are close to retirement.
    Health Care: Increasing Choices and Improving Care

    Policy initiatives, such as tax credits and Medicare reform, should be based on advancing the principles of personal ownership, patient choice, and free market competition.
    Energy and Environment: Affordable Energy and Clean Air
    The availability of energy at reasonable prices is key to economic growth and national security. The nation can have reliable, affordable, and sufficient supplies of energy without destroying the environment. Air quality has improved over the past three decades as energy use and gross domestic product have increased. New technologies, not drastic cuts in emissions that would suppress energy production, are the key to enhanced air quality and a robust economy.

By Spider on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 12:13 pm:

    I hate it when I refresh the "New Messages" page and see a new post has been made, and then I come here and see it's just another one of these things.

    Enough with the cut and pasted political articles! Especially with no comments! If you want to say something, say it -- don't just drop one of these loads on us (anonymously, at that) and leave.

By patrick on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 12:50 pm:

    "The U.S. armed forces were underfunded for much of the 1990s. The result has been readiness problems, aging equipment, and technological stagnation in much of the force."

    as compared to.....?????? what exactly? the 90s were relatively peaceful, the budgets we're scaled back appropriately for the times.

    "Arms control is an essential part of U.S. nonproliferation policy and an important tool for protecting national security."

    Arms control by building more missles? What? This missle defense paragraph is an entire contradiction.

    " but the United Nations has not proven to be a reliable champion for those ideals because many members of that body are not."

    including the US. Including Israel.

    "..but that is not constrained by U.N. approval when action is needed."

    Oh, ok....so we reserve the right to violate the UN, in order to enforce the UN? WHAT? What kind of fucking sense doesn that make?

    "Europeans must commit themselves to increase their defense budgets and implement the reforms needed to see that the promise of Prague is secured."

    Wow. I've never heard such a bold defense industry plug in all my life. Why don't you just come out and say "buy American military hardware!"

    Re; Russia; "This shortsighted trade must be stopped."

    What do you think the Russians we're saying when we were supplying and training Iraq with WMD in the 80s and the mujahadeen in Afghanistan in the 80s?

    "No, seriously Putin....really, this time we mean it...its like a bad deal dude. Yeah yeah we're sorry for all the proxy wars of the last 5 decades...but this time we REALLY need your help."

    "Isolate and undermine the axis of evil."

    oh fer fucksake...it thought this kind of cowboy, juvenile language was over with!

    "U.S. should support democratic opposition forces in these countries to gain power and halt support for terrorism."

    Or stop with the hypocritical brand of support for Israel, and avoid a war with Iraq two sources of fuel for the flames of terrorism. Pushing democratic reform unto those who dont want it IS a source of terrorism.

    "But America cannot force governments to adopt policies that lead to development: African nations themselves must enact these changes if they are to realize the promise of development."

    but we should "encourage" democratic reform in the middle east. with the continent of Africa, treaties are cool and shit...but with the middle east, we gotta use bombs & shit.

    "such as rebates and credits, do not lower the price of productive behavior and therefore have little or no positive impact on economic performance."

    oh wait, so that check that Bush sent me two years ago was....what? what WAS that?
    Can you please define, EXACTLY HOW the current economic proposal will benefit the middle class, i.e. the BULK of Americans?????

    "Tax relief will help achieve the second priority of removing obstacles to economic growth and job creation."

    or so say the wealthy republicans.

    "Policies that give all children the opportunity to attend a quality school must be adopted."

    THIS can't happen while cutting taxes and increasing flow to the defense budget ding dong.
    In fact, educations budgets are being slashed nationwide!!!

    "State of the Union speech that allowing workers to invest a portion of their existing payroll taxes remains a key Administration priority."

    Oh yeah...while confidence in coporate integrity is at a low, we are going to take Bush's advice on investing social security? what a bunch of shit.

    "Workers must be allowed to invest a large part of their existing retirement taxes in personal retirement accounts."

    So companies like Enron, huge Bush supporters, can drain them?

    yeah trace, the cut and paste republican doublespeak is a bit old holmes.

By trace on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 01:04 pm:

    "the 90s were relatively peaceful"

    Oh my god.

    No. wrong.

By patrick on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 01:13 pm:

    Trace....in terms of the number of US deployments, sure there were plenty, but sending a few thousand troops to Bosnia, Yugoslavia a few hundred spec ops to Somalia, and a few other limited deployments...there was NO major war, nothing like the Gulf War, Vietnam, Korea or anything of the sort. so yes, relatively speaking, they were peaceful in terms of the amount of US military being deployed.

By trace on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 01:15 pm:

    On June 25, 1996, a terrorist truck bomb exploded outside the northern perimeter of the U.S. portion of the Khobar Towers housing complex in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia. The explosion killed nineteen servicemen and wounded hundreds of others, including civilians of several nationalities.
    On April 19, 1995, a terrorist truck bomb exploded in the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, killing one hundred sixty-eight men, women and children.
    October 12, 2000 USS Cole
    March 24, 1999 Kosovo
    April 12, 1993 Bosnia

By patrick on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 01:18 pm:

    what the fuck does this have to do with our military and the scaleback of the 90s?

    im willing to bet the number of troops deployed to Kosovo, Bosnia and Somalia combined don't even equal a 1/4 of the number of US troops deployed in Gulf War 1.

By trace on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 01:25 pm:

    On 26th February 1993, at approximately 12.18 p.m., an improvised explosive device exploded on the second level of the World Trade Center parking basement.

    See something interesting about the 90's?

    Increased attacks against the US, military buildings and on the US Soil.

    There was ample evidence that made it very apparent that terrorism was on the rise and headed our way. All through the 90's.
    15 of those 16 UN resolutions with Iraq came in the 90's. Bin Laden declared war against the United States in the 90's.
    1998 i think.
    The russian coupe was in 1991.
    Fractions all across the old soviet union were fighting, some had possesion of old soviet union armour, including war heads.
    Pakistan and India have been engaged in a blood fued for 2 decades.
    Isreal and Palestine were involved in mass murder of each other.

    France, Germany, Canada, Italy, UK, Mexico, and many more I have forgotten have cut their military down to only account for less then 1% of their budget because they depend on the United States for protection.
    The UN gets over half of their military equipment from us. All of Nato's equipment is United States equipment.

    How in the fuck could we afford to rape it like we did?
    The average age of all planes in service right now in the US Air Force Fleet is 43.2 years.
    The B52 has been flying for 60 years!
    Down rate due to repairs (most waiting on parts) is at 25-30%.

    Does anyone not understand that the US is responsible for far more then just us?

By patrick on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 01:45 pm:

    "Increased attacks against the US, military buildings and on the US Soil."

    your cause and effect relationship that increase in terrorism was a result of military scalebacks is weak and inconclusive trace.

    "The average age of all planes in service right now in the US Air Force Fleet is 43.2 years."

    can you cite your USAF source on this.

    Further, the age of the fleet is irrelavent. Its all about performce and one of the most reliable fucking planes in the fleet IS one of the oldest, B52! Far more reliable than the Harrier, Osprey or some of the other jets...f16 and f18. Further, if your figure is accurate, you have to factor in the US fleet is more than just fighters.Transport and general utility planes have not really changed much in the last 50 years.

    Further planes can be upgraded all the time with modern 'guts'... the b52 being a stellar example.

    If its not broken don't fix it.

    Meanwhile we are spending billions on the Joint Strike Fighter, a jet that the closet opponent is a Soviet Su-27, which is already two generations behind the most recent f-22.

    So who exactly are we competing with defense wise, while our eduction budgets get slashed, tens of thousands of Americans die each year due to lack of healtcare and nutrition???????

    A multi-billion dollar Joint Strike Fighter superspace jet fighter will NOT solve the al Qaida problem trace so stop being spoon fed the military defense industry cries for more money citing 9/11 as a reason. No military technology would have stopped 9/11.

By patrick on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 01:52 pm:

    also trace, airplanes have a much longer shelf life than what we perceive. our standard is the automobile, which americans tend to replace in 10 years time....planes are amazingly reliable if well maintained. most of the technological advances with aviation have come in navigation, weaponry and safety in which older planes can be upgraded. propulsion, aside from the f22 and JSF, and aerodynamics havent changed all that much.

By Antigone on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 02:27 pm:


    It seems Clinton invented terrorism too.

    Yeah, Clinton is Satan.


    Ho hum. Move along. Nothing to see here.

By trace on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 05:03 pm:

    ""The average age of all planes in service right now in the US Air Force Fleet is 43.2 years."

    can you cite your USAF source on this"

    Air Force Times, August 2001

By trace on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 05:07 pm:

    my point was that the 90' were not safe, and the infrastructure of the military took a hard hit when threats were esculating.

    and your personal view of me has nothing to do with my job, you sanctomonious son of a bitch

    yes, i really am offended and pissed off at you

By patrick on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 05:23 pm:

    i question that. not because you say it (really, anyone could say it and Id question it regardless of its source) because if you scan this page scroll their inventory and notice dates deployed, the sheer number of pre-1960 aircraft doesnt come anywhere close to the total number of post-1970 aircraft.

    Yeah they have shit like b-52s, but they have less than a 100! They have hundreds and hundreds of f-16s, deployed in the late 70s.

    So to say of the entire USAF fleet, that the *AVERAGE* is 43.2?????? No way, when you take inventory of every single god damn plane in service, most were deployed in the 70s and 80s.

By patrick on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 05:31 pm:

    "you sanctomonious son of a bitch"

    oh my god...what a laugh.

    no. really. thanks for that. I gotta write that down. the alliteration with "sanctomonious son" is perfect.

    "my point was that the 90' were not safe, and the infrastructure of the military took a hard hit when threats were esculating."

    this is republican propaganda. while the world was just as fucked as its always been, the threats the US faced were not one's in which our military was suited to protect us from. The military coudl do nothing about the first WTC bombing, the bombing in Saudi Arabia and obviously budget cuts had nothing to do with the USS Cole.

    There were no large scale wars in which our military needed funding like it did in previous years. the cold war was over so R&D could take a breather, we we're no longer in an arms race.

    So pay more attention to flaw in your logic trace and less to the fact Im saying it.

By wisper on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 06:25 pm:


    UNITED NATIONS—Responding to pressure from the international community, the U.N. ordered enigmatic candy maker William "Willy" Wonka to submit to chocolate-factory inspections Monday.

    "For years, Wonka has hidden the ominous doings of his research and development facility from the outside world," U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan said. "Given the reports of child disappearances, technological advances in glass-elevator transport, and Wonka-run Oompa-Loompa forced-labor camps, the time has come to put an end to three decades of secrecy in the Wonka Empire."

    The chocolate-making capabilities of Wonka's heavily fortified compound have long been a source of speculation. Wonka, defying international calls for full disclosure, has maintained his silence regarding his factory's suspected capacity to manufacture confections of mass deliciousness.

    Secretary of State Colin Powell praised the U.N. announcement.

    "No more will this sinister figure be free to pursue his nefarious endeavors without fear of reprisal, protected by loopholes in international candy-making law," Powell said. "With this ruling, the U.N. has issued the global community a 'golden ticket' to draw back the curtain behind which this mysterious confectioner hides."

    According to CIA psychological profilers, Wonka has retreated from the outside world entirely, withdrawing into "a world of pure imagination." An anonymous tinker stationed near the infamous, long-locked Wonka factory gate corroborated the claim, saying, "Nobody ever goes in, nobody ever comes out."

    Rival candy makers, long worried that Wonka's advanced capabilities have created an imbalance of power within the volatile global chocolate marketplace, also applauded the U.N. move.

    "Wonka exerts a powerful psychological grip over the world's children," said Arthur Slugworth, president of Slugworth Confections. "They are devoted to him with a loyalty that borders on the fanatical, eagerly lapping up Scrumdiddlyumptious Bars by the millions at his command. But when we found evidence that Wonka was developing so-called 'everlasting gobstopper' technology—'the mother of all gobstoppers'—we knew it was time to act."

    To date, all efforts to peer inside the Wonka inner sanctum have met with failure. Armies of legal experts retained by Wonka have kept visitors to his chocolate-making facilities effectively gagged with elaborate non-disclosure agreements. His in-house staff of high-contrast Technicolor dwarves carefully monitors what information flows in or out of the heavily guarded compound. And the few scraps of information that have come to light—vague reports of terrifying river-barge rides, razor-sharp ceiling fans, and human-sized pneumatic tubes of indeterminate purpose—have been obscured by layers of darkly comic, psychedelic symbolism, making them virtually impossible to interpret.

    "Wonka has shown himself to be a man who cannot be trusted," Annan said. "Whether misrepresenting himself as a limping cripple, only to drop at the last moment into an agile somersault, or exploiting the deepest and most personal character flaws of misbehaving children, Wonka has been a man of shifty, undetermined motives and baffling ends. He must be stopped."

    Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, a longtime advocate of regime change in the Wonka Empire, is urging President Bush to consider military intervention should Wonka refuse to cooperate.

    "The world can no longer turn a blind eye to Wonka's deception and misdirection," Rumsfeld said. "Without full inspections, there's no earthly way of knowing which direction Wonka's going. Not a speck of light is showing, so the danger must be growing. And he's certainly not showing any signs that he is slowing. Are the fires of Hell a-glowing? Is the grisly reaper mowing? Who can provide the world with the answer to these pressing questions?"

    "The candy man can," Rumsfeld added grimly.

    Bush said he is leaning toward the use of force, undeterred by the prospect of the candy maker using his rumored "Wonkavision" technology to turn would-be attackers into millions of tiny pieces, beaming them through the air and shrinking them to tiny, dollhouse-accessory size.

    "We are talking about a man who is able to take a rainbow and cover it with dew," Bush told reporters during a press conference Monday. "Who knows what else he is capable of? Left to his own devices, he could, in a worst-case scenario, make the world taste very bad, indeed."

By moonit on Tuesday, January 28, 2003 - 09:26 pm:

    Wisper rocks

By Spider on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 08:33 am:

    Now I'll be singing

    Come with me, and you'll be
    In a world of pure imagination
    Take a look, and you'll see
    Into your imagination

    all day.

By sarah on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 01:52 pm:

    you guys, now i'm finally starting to freak out. if we attack iraq, we are so screwed!

    besides, we're the US. we're supposed to be the good guys. fuck. i try not to think or worry about things i have no control over, but i can't help it anymore.

By patrick on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 02:41 pm:

    i understand your anger, fear, reservation, worry, and general "freaked" feeling.

    i've been feeling it for a some time, since October. The fact that the heathens in white house are contemplating such a war and simultaneously redefining the very principles this country was founded on, all the eve of my daughter's birth is an outrage.

By moonit on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 06:27 pm:

    Does anyone know where I can buy Reeses Peanut Butter cups from online to send to NZ? My supermarket has stopped stocking them, and they were the only place I could find them.

By sarah on Wednesday, January 29, 2003 - 09:43 pm:

    moonit, email me your mailing address. i'd be more
    than happy to mail you some. i already have a
    nuclear-war-fallout emergency stash at my house.

By wisper on Thursday, January 30, 2003 - 08:09 pm:

    i somehow managed to never see Willy Wonka as a child. The first time i did was when i was 16, in the hospital for spine surgery #2, and fucked out of my skull on a morophine drip.

    Needless to say, it was an afternoon i wish i could remember.

By Antigone on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 02:41 pm:

    "i somehow managed to never see Willy Wonka as a child"

    Not suprising, considering he never was one.

    Anyway, on topic...

By patrick on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 04:28 pm:

    god damn liberal media.

By sarah on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 04:39 pm:


    i just got back from the candy aile.


By wisper on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 06:28 pm:

    "i somehow managed to never see Willy Wonka as a child"
    >Not suprising, considering he never was one.

    HAHAHAHA anti! how the fuck do you know? are you his mom???
    and besides, maybe what i really meant was that i never got to see him as a child because i never found a gold ticket.

    take THAT Mr.ChocolateFactory fact-checker man!

By Antigone on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 06:48 pm:

    Holy Jesus I have to shit so bad.

By dave. on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 10:45 pm:

    crowning, are ye?

By patrick on Friday, January 31, 2003 - 10:59 pm:

    im trying to decide who is wears the 'most crass motherfucker' hat here...dave or nate.

By Nate on Saturday, February 1, 2003 - 05:33 am:


By J on Saturday, February 1, 2003 - 02:02 pm:

By moonit on Sunday, February 2, 2003 - 05:53 pm:

    I love you Sarah.
    Did you get the moro muffin email??

By Dr Pepper on Wednesday, September 20, 2006 - 01:47 am:

    I don't know how Bush will do his job right....

By Dr Pepper on Thursday, September 21, 2006 - 02:41 am:

    When Mr Chavez address at the United Nations. I didn't know that Mr Chavez did offer assitance to those 40 million low income American winter oil heating? Why wasn't I was told of that? And now, he is threatening to double the oil price?

By Jim aka Pajama on Monday, October 9, 2006 - 07:25 pm:

    Hugo Chavez offering assistance to 40 million low-income Americans for winter oil heating is akin to offering candy to babies, or sending instant messages to congressional pages. Bush and Chavez loathe eachother so much because they are very similar.

    When I saw the title of this thread, I thought... Bush, do it right? Well... let's see, this would involve him firing Rummy, and Cheney, and Rice and then appointing someone very centrist as vice president, and then resigning once the person is sworn in as veep.

    Oh, wait... sorry, I'm in fantasy land again.

By Dr Pepper on Tuesday, October 10, 2006 - 02:49 am:

    There is no such things like Fantasy Land!!!!!!!!!

By Fantasy Land on Tuesday, October 10, 2006 - 02:56 am:

    Jim, I know Mr Bush are about to be a Mad Dog to himself, he has lost his mind.


The Stalking Post: General goddam chit-chat Every 3 seconds: Sex . Can men and women just be friends? . Dreamland . Insomnia . Are you stoned? . What are you eating? I need advice: Can you help? . Reasons to be cheerful . Days and nights . Words . Are there any news? Wishful thinking: Have you ever... . I wish you were... . Why I oughta... Is it art?: This question seems to come up quite often around here. Weeds: Things that, if erased from our cultural memory forever, would be no great loss Surfwatch: Where did you go on the 'net today? What are you listening to?: Worst music you've ever heard . What song or tune is going through your head right now? . Obscure composers . Obscure Jazz, 1890-1950 . Whatever, whenever General Questions: Do you have any regrets? . Who are you? . Where are you? . What are you doing here? . What have you done? . Why did you do it? . What have you failed to do? . What are you wearing? . What do you want? . How do you do? . What do you want to do today? . Are you stupid? Specific Questions: What is the cruelest thing you ever did? . Have you ever been lonely? . Have you ever gone hungry? . Are you pissed off? . When is the last time you had sex? . What does it look like where you are? . What are you afraid of? . Do you love me? . What is your definition of Heaven? . What is your definition of Hell? Movies: Last movie you saw . Worst movie you ever saw . Best movie you ever saw Reading: Best book you've ever read . Worst book you've ever read . Last book you read Drunken ramblings: uiphgy8 hxbjf.bklf ghw789- bncgjkvhnqwb=8[ . Payphones: Payphone Project BBS

sorabji.com . torturechamber . px.sorabji.com . receipts . contact