deep fried body of christ, chicken What do you want?: deep fried body of christ, chicken

By Nate on Tuesday, May 25, 2004 - 12:11 pm:

    To McWhom It May Concern,

    I am writing today to express an unfortunate and disturbing event that occurred at the Scotts Valley franchise of your McDonalds restaurants.

    This fascination we have with your McNuggets started late last year. I’d picked her up from the airport in San Francisco and was driving her home when, shortly after we’d crossed the Golden Gate, she mentioned how hungry she was. I asked, Would you like Nuggets? She replied favorably, though I noted some hesitation. You see, she was, and remains, a casual vegetarian, and certainly avoids beef and greasy food; but, still, she was quite hungry and the McNuggets sounded good. And they were.

    Still, for some time we avoided them. I am unsure exactly why, perhaps something to do with the guilt of eating such a greasy food. Regardless, eventually the NBA post-season drew near and I quipped, If Denver makes it into the playoffs, I say we eat some Nuggets. In case you are not a fan of the Basketball, the team in Denver is also called the Nuggets. While we are tried and true and constantly disappointed Warriors fans, we do follow with relish the budding career of Carmelo Anthony. And since there was neither a McWarriors menu item at McDonalds nor a whisper of a dream of the Warriors seeing the playoffs, as they have not seen the playoffs in a decade, we set a goal for the Nuggets in Basketball and the McNuggets in our eager mouths.

    As you may or may not realize, the Denver Nuggets barely snuck into the Playoffs, and while they did not get far, we did eat our McNuggets. And over and over and again, we’ve gone back for McNuggets and enjoyed them.

    She is a beautiful woman, a remarkable woman. And last weekend, when we arrived in Boulder Creek to discover the automatic timer for the drip irrigation system at the house we are trying to sell had been tampered with and broken, she decided that she would return the next day and replace it. The yard we had labored to landscape, the flowers we had planted together would not wither and die. She was determined and though I pleaded she let it wait, that the two and a half hour trip, in the best of traffic, each way was not worth going alone, she persevered and would not listen and set off while I was at work.

    This, on her day off, in her uncomfortable car, and without breakfast. For hours she drove and when she arrived in Scotts Valley she stopped in to the Kmart to buy batteries for the new automatic timer. In the line, at the checkout counter, in the absence of distraction she suddenly realized that she had missed breakfast. Hungry took her stomach like a fist that twisted and pulled and her head swum and she knew she needed Nuggets. Your Nuggets! Chicken McNuggets!

    So she crossed the street and through the drivethru and ordered six pieces and paid her twodollarsfiftysomething and checked the bag, the box was there, the sweet’n’sour sauce was there. She drove away and up the windy road towards Boulder Creek and at the stoplight in Felton she had her first chance to get a bite to her mouth and Disaster.

    Only four nuggets. Four nuggets in a six nugget box.

    And surely, the Scotts Valley McDonalds would have immediately remedied the issue, but she was already ten minutes away. And to pass through Scotts Valley on her return trip would have added at least an hour to a trip that already took over three and a half hours in heavy traffic.

    She called me last night and in a soft voice told me of her disappointment and it tore my heart from my chest and left it quivering on the cold, hard floor. I told her I would contact you immediately the following morning. What else could I tell her? What else could I do?

    So please accept this letter as an expression of our disappointment.

    Thank you,


By semillama on Tuesday, May 25, 2004 - 12:53 pm:

    I'm almost moved to tears in awe.

By Spider on Tuesday, May 25, 2004 - 01:04 pm:

    I am wholly aligned with the sentiment expressed by Semillama.

By sarah on Tuesday, May 25, 2004 - 01:24 pm:

    has anyone seen Super Size Me yet? sounds absolutely fascinating.

By semillama on Tuesday, May 25, 2004 - 01:36 pm:

    it's on my list of things to see.

By Antigone on Tuesday, May 25, 2004 - 02:00 pm:

    Saw it. It was funny, though a bit over the top at times.

    All in all, not as good as Nate's post.

By wisper on Tuesday, May 25, 2004 - 06:25 pm:

    it was okay, but nothing we haven't heard before.
    Entertaining.....but obvious.

    like: Fast food? bad??!! imagine that!

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