AS much of a ....... I wish you were...: AS much of a .......

By Skitzo on Wednesday, August 30, 2000 - 11:06 pm:

    I wish you were as much of a whore as I am projected to be...Then you would understand. Maybe. Probably not, but I wish you were as much of a whore I am.
    Then you would see why I don't make decisions, and always give you what you want and tell you what you want to hear, even though it's against my best judgement. I wish you were the whore that you think I am. I wish I wasn't the whore you think I am. I wish I weren't in WHORELAND right now. Roaming the streets, corners, and alleys of my guilt pleading for you to come by and save me, and pay me to quit repenting and live again. You won't do that though, because your mind is set and I am the whore that you are absolutely and devoutly in love with. You won't because I am the whore you think I am, but I'm not the whore you know I'm not. You think I am, but you know, somewhere hidden in your Freudian analysis of me and my sins. You know I'm not the whore, you project me as to the world. You know. I wish you were the whore you think I am. I wish you would release me from the guilt that I am handcuffed to. But you won't, you believe that I should wallow in the guilt. And just as I am about to go under you stroll by and yank me out by my scalp and let me rot on the bank, and then throw me to back to come save me again. That's why you are always right. Because you control my guilt. But that is all you control. I wish you were the whore, because I'm not going to play the Whore in our relationship anymore. I not going to descend into hell again, so you can save me. You are the whore now. Let me come save you. I wish I wasn't the whore you think I am and know I'm not.

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