St. Agatha I wish you were...: St. Agatha

By Spider on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 02:25 pm:

    Today is the feast day of St. Agatha, one of the most venerated martyrs in the Church. A Roman senator fell in love with her and demanded she recant her Christian faith so they could marry, but she refused, and he had her tortured and put to death. Her torture included having her breasts cut off, and she is commonly portrayed in Christian art as carrying her breasts on a plate.

    Just so you know.

By dave. on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 02:30 pm:


By heather on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 05:18 pm:

    it's the church's way of saying, look how pleasant being a martyr can be

By Spider on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 06:02 pm:

By The Watcher on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 06:23 pm:

    Do we really need to encourage the Islamic fundamentalist any more?

By The Watcher on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 06:29 pm:

By Antigone on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 06:49 pm:

    You know, Watcher, I got the same thing when I mentioned to my computer programming class that I was a Satanist. Doesn't discrimination suck?

By semillama on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 07:16 pm:

    What's interesting about that article is that it's only been reported there and newsmax. Not in any local papers in Ohio that I can index. Interesting.

    and what do Islamic Fundamentalists have to do with Catholic saints? I mean, I'd really like to hear the logic behind that.

By heather on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 07:19 pm:

    it's also neat that saints that lose their parts get to grow them back, it's so much less messy

By wisper on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 09:45 pm:

    that St.Agatha painting is something else.

By Lapis on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 10:14 pm:

    Like starfish.

    I was rereading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix last week and thought of something.

    I know it's fiction, but what if saints really weren't blessed by God? What if they were all wizards?

By wisper on Thursday, February 5, 2004 - 10:23 pm:

    wizards aren't blessed by god?

    aren't we all?

By Spider on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 12:01 am:

    My mother's cancer has returned. It's in her lungs this time, except it's not lung cancer, but uterine cancer. Except in her lungs. She doesn't have a uterus anymore, so maybe the cancer got confused and picked the next best organs. Or something.

    She starts chemo on April 1 and doesn't know yet how long the treatment will be, but her doctor said it will be less grueling than her last chemo treatments (which were a double dose -- to get the breast and the uterine cancer -- and lasted 18 weeks). She did pretty well last time, with only fatigue as a side effect, and it was nothing unmanageable, so she's feeling pretty optimistic.

    Her doctor said something weird, though -- she said my mom will have these lung tumors "forever" (the chemo is just to shrink them) and that she and my mom will have a relationship for the rest of my mom's life. This was said in a joking way, so my mom took it to mean that she'll be 80 years old and still have these tumors and still have to go to this woman for checkups every so often. But I wonder if this wasn't a gentle way of saying the cancer is terminal.

    But I don't know. I asked my mom if the doctor said what stage of cancer this was or what kind of tumor it was, and my mom said she didn't think to ask.

    I don't know what to think.

By sarah on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 01:32 pm:

    i need to preface this with two things. one, i am not an oncologist. two, i did work in cancer research for 3 years and while that was 12 years ago i still try to keep up with the latest.

    okay, first it is critical that you and your mother find out what stage the cancer is. the stage will tell you a lot about her real prognosis. typically if uterine cancer (or breast cancer for that matter) has spread to distant sites in the body (lung, liver, bone or brain) it is diagnosed as Stage IVB.

    secondly, is sounds rather obvious to me either your mother isn't telling you the whole story, or her oncologist isn't telling her the whole story. either way, i recommend talking to her oncologist yourself and have a list of questions ready.

    lastly, only her doctor can give you and your mother a prognosis, but once you know the stage, it's easy to find the statistics (if you want to know them) on they are there to look at in black and white. but keep in mind that any other factors affect a person's actual survival rate, like their general health and how the cancer responds to chemo.

    i don't really have anything else to add, except that i'm really sorry to hear this news. you have every right to be concerned, and you have every right to seek out answers.

By Spider on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 06:25 pm:

    She's going to meet with her doctor tomorrow to get the lowdown on what exact kind of cancer she has and what her treatment will entail. I don't think she's hiding anything from me, but she takes everything you say at face value and is really bad at detecting innuendo or subtle hints, so it could very well be that she misinterpreted the doctor's comments to be joking when it's really serious. She could also be in denial...that's very likely.

    I'm probably going to stay with her in the next couple weeks when her chemo begins, so I'll find out more for sure then.

    The thing is, she has tons of cancer in her family, but no one has ever died of it. My grandfather, for example, had colon cancer in the 80s and is still alive today and will be turning 100 in July. So I'm hoping for the best.

    Thanks, Sarah.

By Danielssss on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 06:40 pm:

    sorry to hear. Not good news for sure. nothing else to say except to keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. check out essiac, and then get some from Pat Tulholske at elementalearthcamp dot com or willow rain herbal goods. Has worked for many I know personally. Pat makes the real thing, a cancer survivor herself.

By platypus on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 07:24 pm:

    Spider, I will keep you and your mother in my thoughts; I hope that it turns out to be sensitive to chemo and that those little tumors shrink right up.

By moonit on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 08:33 pm:

    Spider I'm thinking of you and your mum...

By Danielsssss on Sunday, March 21, 2010 - 11:57 pm:


By wisper on Monday, March 22, 2010 - 09:00 am:

    Spider <3

By Dr Pepper on Monday, March 22, 2010 - 01:08 pm:

    Spider... I lost a few to a cancer. not simple.. just hang it there.

By Spider on Tuesday, March 23, 2010 - 04:49 pm:

    Thanks, y'all. I'll tell her she's got lots of people thinking of her. :)

    She hasn't given me any more info on her condition, and I don't know if it's because she hasn't asked or because she wants to tell me in person. Anyway, I think I'll be visiting her next week so that I'm with her for her first chemo session, and when I'm there I'll ask the nurse or doctor as many questions I can think of.

By agatha on Thursday, March 25, 2010 - 02:33 am:

    You know, I am really starting to believe that attitude has a lot to do with people's health outcomes. My mom had lung cancer that spread up into her brain, and Parkinson's, and she willed the cancer away with the sheer force of her hope and positivity (and some surgery, but still). I have a feeling your mom is a lot like mine, Spidey. At any rate, I'm wishing her well.

By kazu on Thursday, March 25, 2010 - 11:00 am:

    Do you have anything besides anecdata to back
    that up?

    I'm so fucking sick of that attitude. It comes
    dangerously close to all that new agey, LOA crap
    that I hate just about more than anything in the

    I'll be thinking of your mom, Spider.

By Danielgoat on Thursday, March 25, 2010 - 12:05 pm:,9171,959465-2,00.html Such bulshit from maintream media in our wonderland of mediocracy...

    I know, let's get some vodka and debate. Let's separate mind from body and keep the established medical establishment of western allopathic traditions (of the past 100 years...for it does not go back further) overcharging and doing needless cut and paste jobs lining pockets of nearsighted surgeons and the drug companies.

    Oh yes, let's carve out spirit. Let's never say that cancer is cancer, or that cancer is resentment and anger, let's say that diabetics are not responsible for their illness any more than getting a broken leg.

    Accidents happen, but why? Let's say that the sore throat comes from not giving voice to something needing to be said, or that the broken leg, the left one, resulted from not being able to take information in, an obstinacy. Certainly not new age but really quite old age and cross cultural (Eliade, Archaic Techniques of Ecstasy)

    And I personally am an addict, with a disease, but you know, I am responsible for my illness, and yes I couldn't help my genes, but i could have stopped the craziness long before I did. I love the asshole who wrote the "Cure" book just recently. How many drunks will that book kill?

    And I am diabetic, and yes I eat all the wrong things and don't exercise and have a high stress life. And take the wrong fucking medications that cause me to gain weight, have higher blood pressure, and put me at risk for heart failure (google Avandia), but certainly keep me taking more medication for those wonderful side effects engineered by the drug companies.

    Let's quit blaming everyone else and take some responsibility: for health, for healthcare (which we do not and likely will not have in this country--we must be ill to access benefits if we have them at all), for love and fish and ocean acidity and global warming and yes, even cancer, diabetes, and accidental limb damage. (Read the exspose on the conspiracy of drug companies in "Comfortably Numb, the medicating of a Nation," bY Charles Barber).

    Sorry, Kazu, I don't even think you were responding to me...and I don't think that your thoughts of Spider's mom will go unnoticed.

    Dont forget to memorize "The People's History of the United States" by Howard Zinn before responding to any sorabji posts. And then we have "On The Justice of Roosting Chickens" about the "peace loving" war-faring violent nation we have always been. Or "Bowling Alone"

    Prozac for everyone selling aluminum siding to homeowners of brick bungelows. Prozac for everyone!!

By Semillama on Thursday, March 25, 2010 - 03:13 pm:

    Yes, let's blame the victim.

By agatha on Thursday, March 25, 2010 - 11:31 pm:

    Sheesh, sorry to hit a nerve. I was trying to be uplifting. Of course there's no evidence, I've just seen my mom rebound at a time when she was supposed to be weeks away from death. I certainly don't blame anyone for getting cancer, that's really not what I meant.

By Dr Pepper on Friday, March 26, 2010 - 01:04 am:

    Went to see a Dr today, telling him that I had trouble with racing thought or woke up in the middle of night because of anxiety, so he prescribed me zoloft and xanax. Boy hopefully, this will ease up my mind.

By kazu on Friday, March 26, 2010 - 01:33 am:

    My classmate Matt died of leukemia when he was twelve fucking years old. He was nothing but positive. He used to turn his wig around on his head to whenever we had a substitute teacher to make us laugh. He was amazing and funny right up until the end when he could no longer see or hear.

    And he died. At twelve.

    The human body is capable of amazing things. But you can't will away cancer with hope and positivity.

By agatha on Friday, March 26, 2010 - 03:19 am:

    Okay, Kazu. I'm sorry about your friend.

By heather on Friday, March 26, 2010 - 04:48 am:


    with love, spider and agatha and kazu

By patrick on Friday, March 26, 2010 - 01:02 pm:

    i dont think agatha said will power alone can cure cancer. i think
    her words were "attitude has a lot to do with people's health

    do you have anything more than anecdotal evidence to the
    contrary? i mean, that was kinda bitchy reply, no?

    i have experienced first hand the mind's will over the body and
    the power of positive thinking with our recent pregnancy and
    hypnosis. implanting positive thoughts into the unconscious can
    absolutely help one to endure pain, heal and overcome. im
    surprised to that you so blatantly call bullshit on such an idea.

    is it absolute? of course not.

    But at the same time, like daniel indicates, everything becomes
    a diagnosis, a condition, a disorder and most likely there's a pill
    for it. but perhaps there isnt the simple support, love,
    mindfulness, empathy and compassion etc etc etc to support the

    rather than viewing how hope failed your childhood friend, why
    not take it as an example of human strengh by the mere fact
    that he had hope and spirit despite such a horrific reality.

    im hoping that came across as clear. 5 weeks with not more 3-5
    hours sleep per night....talking about hopelessness.

By Sarah on Friday, March 26, 2010 - 01:16 pm:

    patrick i was just going to ask you in another thread how things are going.

    i have stuff for baby girl, but was waiting to send it along with candy.

    what's the latest? how are baby and mamma? how are you?

By Danielssss on Friday, March 26, 2010 - 02:43 pm:

    The important thing is that the people here care (mostly) about each other and each other's families.

    That is a nice thing. And yes, we do feel connected.

    Sometimes my replies are rants to no one inparticular, here, because I know you all will mostly ignore me.

    But like each of you, I feel the love between the words, even the insulta and good natured ribbing and down n dirty arguments.

    We mostly keep mostly coming mostly back....mostly.

    Where's Droopy?

By sarah on Friday, March 26, 2010 - 03:13 pm:

    testing 1 2 3

By kazu on Friday, March 26, 2010 - 11:32 pm:

    "i have experienced first hand the mind's will over the body and the power of positive thinking with our recent pregnancy and hypnosis. implanting positive thoughts into the unconscious can absolutely help one to endure pain, heal and overcome. im surprised to that you so blatantly call bullshit on such an idea."

    Really? I'm am and always will be supportive of
    unmedicated childbirth because I don't believe
    that child birth not a condition that needs to be
    managed. And because in many cases it's a good
    idea to keep interventions to a minimum.

    But in my experience, it really had nothing to
    do with positive thoughts and everything to do with personal pain tolerance. And luck. Luck that your body won't betray you.

    I did all the research and meditation and
    positive visualization, and I still wound up
    with a needle in my spine. Because despite a fairly manageable labor, I wound up having
    seizure-like shakes over which I had no control, and which made it impossible for me to deal with the pain of labor.

    I did everything right. So, why couldn't I endure the pain? I guess I just wasn't positive
    enough. Or maybe Andy wasn't supportive enough.

    Or, maybe I missed the chapter on the shakes.
    Or maybe, it was just bad luck.

    It's a mystery.

    So you have your experience and I have mine.
    Usually I feel pretty good about my birth, but every now and then someone starts going on about the mind's amazing power over the body and
    then I remember that I am a natural birthing

    I also spent month after month with postpartum
    depression thinking that if I just put my mind
    to it, I could overcome it. I could have been enjoying life as a mother but instead
    I was miserable, filled with regrets, and terrified that my husband was going to leave me.
    I HATED being a mother, and had serious thoughts
    of giving Ian Michael up for adoption.

    Three weeks after I started taking anti-depressants, I really liked being a mom.

    I'll take my allopathic western medicine. I've been far, far more disappointed by the

By kazu on Friday, March 26, 2010 - 11:34 pm:

    Ugh--nice grammarz kazu.

By Antigone on Saturday, March 27, 2010 - 01:21 am:

    Being positive requires practice, but as with anything some
    folks have an aptitude. Don't worry about it, kazu. If you
    don't worry about it enough eventually you'll do it.


    And of course attitude can have an effect on illness. We
    accept it as fact now that Type A folks have more heart
    attacks and strokes. It's plainly not an absolute effect, but it's
    well documented and the general mechanisms are clear. Why
    reject other possible physical effects of a positive attitude?

By heather on Saturday, March 27, 2010 - 04:43 pm:

    I don't think anyone is saying, fuck medication just buck-up little trooper.

    Depressed people under stress need everything they can get and often that is medication.

    Attitude and love and support, I happen to need those things too, or the medication feels pretty hollow.

    You're a healthy baby birth success. I am sorry to hear about your postpartum experience, it sounds truly awful.

By Dr Pepper on Sunday, March 28, 2010 - 12:29 am:

    Man, I am back on med...funny thing is that, xanax is supposed to make me sleep. but my stomach is sleeping, and phsycially, i am getting weak. in other hand, i am back on zoloft for anxiety disorder. had too much trouble getting up early feeling uneasy.

By Danielssss on Sunday, March 28, 2010 - 01:43 am:

    which one helps your grammar?

By moonit on Monday, March 29, 2010 - 04:15 pm:

    Damn we get the most lame ass drugs here.

By Dr Pepper on Tuesday, March 30, 2010 - 01:52 am:

    Danielssss, No one helps me with my grammar.This is what my mind are saying. woke up at 1:20 am and trying to sleep, so I watched the movie until 4:00 am. I was sleeping at many different times.

By patrick on Tuesday, March 30, 2010 - 01:06 pm:

    and you know what kazu, despite all the meditation,
    and so forth my woman did, she too also wound up with a spinal
    and being invaded and having the baby removed. which is still a
    very traumatic event for us both. we both lay awake at times
    thinking about that hour in that awful room, her on a table, a
    curtain, and the awful sounds and sensations and the post-proc
    hemorrhaging etc.

    so i get what you're saying.

    sarah, we're doing pretty good.

    we've had some ups and downs, mostly surrounding feeding but
    they've gotten their rhythm and baby is smiling at us, even when
    she's not farting up a shit storm.

By J on Wednesday, March 31, 2010 - 02:34 pm:

    Hehe,I remember when Patrick thought girls didn't fart.

By Dr Pepper on Thursday, April 1, 2010 - 02:37 am:

    medicine didn't he;ps me at all. keeps waking up in the middle of night dazed and confused. Got to talk to Dr soon.

By Spider on Thursday, April 1, 2010 - 11:10 pm:

    So I went with my mom and met with her doctor today -- she has recurrent endometrial cancer. They don't use staging terminology with this kind of cancer...just call it "recurrent." She's going to be on one kind of chemo for a while (3 weeks on, 1 off, 3 weeks on, 1 off, etc) and then they'll see if the lesions in her lungs are shrinking. If they're not shrinking, or not shrinking enough, they'll try 2 other kinds of chemo and/or radiation.

    This will be cancer that can go into remission but will never go away completely. She currently is in no pain and has only a small issue with getting out of breath a little more easily, so she's starting from a good place.

    Today she had her first treatment of Taxol. It went well, no side effects, and fortunately Taxol does not cause nausea or other digestive issues. She felt completely fine afterwards...plenty of energy. I seem to recall that last time, she'd only feel very tired the day after chemo, so we'll see how she's doing tomorrow.

    I was glad I was with her when she met with her doctor, because she kept making jokes and teasing the doctor (a very nice woman) about this other male doctor that my mom has a crush on...basically, giggling and making all the doctor's statements into innuendos. It was a little weird. Luckily, I was my regular prudish self and kept her on track, asking the doctor the practical questions that she wasn't asking herself.

    So you see, sometimes being uncomfortable about hearing your mom making sex jokes is a good thing.


By agatha on Saturday, April 24, 2010 - 04:50 pm:

    How's your mom doing, Spideybrarian>

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