Thank you, Dopple Insomnia: Thank you, Dopple

Margret on Wednesday, July 5, 2000 - 10:13 am:

    Last night I had a hard time getting to sleep. I knew I would before I even tried, so I stayed up extra late. Then I couldn't get comfortable. My arm felt like it was pinned no matter where I positioned it. Finally, I fell asleep at about 4:00 a.m.
    Then Dopple (Cameron's calico cat) jumped up on the bed and laid on the backs of my calves and started purring. Then she did this curious thing with her paws...she was swatting at areas around and about my legs. Whatever was she doing?
    I flipped over. She stayed. I reached down and petted her. She purred louder. She has a delightful, warm, hypnotic purr. Then she did the paw thing again.
    I pulled the blanket taut.
    She'd dropped a half dead roach onto my bed.
    I snagged the roach, flushed the roach, and got up. I gave up entirely.
    On the bright side, I made Cameron a lunch to take into work today. A turkey sandwich with the lettuce and tomatoes each in their own ziploc so the bread wouldn't get soggy. A bag full of ranch doritos. Eight, count 'em, eight fig newtons...and a dr. pepper.
    Doing little domestic chores fills my heart with light and love.
    Sleeping, of course, is waaaaaay better.
    Thank you, Dopple.

By patrick on Wednesday, July 5, 2000 - 01:27 pm:

    my cat showed me love the other night by rubbing her nose in my underarms (as one arm lay across my eyes to block out light). She kept rubbing and rubbing, purring louder and louder. nico says she likes the way i smell.

    domestic chores make me ill

    cause im the only schmuck who does em

By semillama on Wednesday, July 5, 2000 - 07:17 pm:

    My cat showed her love by pooping all over the floor when I was gone, which she has never done before. She must have been really pissed at me.

By Gee on Thursday, July 6, 2000 - 12:03 am:

    the roach thing is gross, but I can do better.

    my dog was sniffing way over in the corner of the kitchen so I moved the chair aside to have a look and there was a Large dead mouse lying there. I looked a little closer and saw Another smaller dead mouse nearby. The really gross part is that when I tried to dispose of the remains, the smaller mouse was actually Stuck to the Floor. which means it had been there for awhile.

    this morning I almost tripped over a decapitated mouse in the backyard. I've lost count of all the deaths my cats have been responsible for this summer.

By Jay on Thursday, July 6, 2000 - 08:11 am:

    my dog used to catch rats and play with the carcass. carrying it around in his mouth. then he'd come inside and lick my girlfriend. i never told her what i new. i have a cockroach in my bathroom now. he comes out when i shave and brush my teeth. i've had plenty of opps to smash him but i try to live in balance with all living things. even roaches. anyway, i think the roach sort of knows i won't kill him. we've become friends. he was just a baby roach the first time i saw him and it's fun to watch him grow.

By Zephyr on Thursday, July 6, 2000 - 04:24 pm:

    I used to be scared of those huge house centipedes...the huge superfast crawly dog also had hours of fun playing with the poor critters, before he got put down.

    Nowadays, however, I guess I've just grown to live with them. I don't really care what they do, and I guess it's just better to live in harmony with something that is desparately trying to surrvive (and mind you, a centipede is NOT going to bring about the depletion of many species, all natural resources, and overall just pollute the earth in its conquest to live a little longer and eat a few more crumbs of cookies and some ants and meet up with a centipede of the opposite sex and breed! Unlike humans....) I guess you could almost say I respect the little buggers. They're fun to watch, just as Jay said, only I have a "soft spot" in my heart for roaches...since the first and last one I've had an encounter with was one that crawled up my leg a few years ago when I was out for a walk at night...eeew

    Damn. I have nowhere near enough time.

By TBone on Thursday, July 6, 2000 - 04:39 pm:

    My apartment has ants. Lots of them. I'm getting annoyed with the fact that I have to carefully rinse every dish and cup I use or there will be ants all over it in a couple of hours.

    They had better show some major interest in the poison bait thingies I put out, or I'm going to have to start spraying.

By Biro on Thursday, July 6, 2000 - 10:38 pm:

    I noticed brown stains on my tile, after wiping it off I realized it was poop, shit, whatever you want to call it. I then saw my cat with the LARGEST KLINGONS IN THE UNIVERSE, it grossed me out to have wipe his bum, not once but three times, and then wonder where the little sod had been sitting prior to his butt wipe.

By Isolde on Thursday, July 6, 2000 - 11:03 pm:

    My cat showed his love by running outside, then running back in, puking on he bed, and leaving.

By J on Friday, July 7, 2000 - 01:19 am:

    My cat sticks his ass in my face.

By Jay on Friday, July 7, 2000 - 08:14 am:

    i lived with a cat once and he would always try to rub his ass on you. had a dog like that to. and it wasn't just the butt it was like the raw asshole he was trying to rub around on you. used to drive me crazy. this other cat i lived with ( i say lived with because they weren't actually mine, thank christ!) used to get massive klingons, (we call them dingleberries here in the states Biro) my roommate would have to cut them out with scissors. the cat was always coughing up hairballs too. usually all over my organic chemistry notes. he also liked to shit in the bathtub. i had a little song for him.
    "poopin' in the tub"
    "who poops in the tub, Tuna poops in the tub"
    "poopin' in the tub"
    I used to sing it for hours, my neighbors loved it.

By Isolde on Friday, July 7, 2000 - 07:55 pm:

    Regular combing solves dingleberries.
    My cat has this special spot right at the root of his tail where if you scratch, he has to lick something. It's really funny, except when the "something" is me, since he drools too.
    I leave my door open at night for my cats, and last night, Shadow came in and started running all over the room. I half heartedly yelled at him, and then heard two sounds. The first was the "crunch" of mousie spine. Oh well, I thought, he'll eat it all and I won't have to deal with it. Wrong. Second sound: "hawk. gurgle. blark. hawk. huhuh. *VOMIT*"

By PeriPheral on Saturday, July 8, 2000 - 02:24 am:

    Our cat Elvis puked up one massive hairball and another quarter-massive one on the couch today. I heard him hacking in the other room, but it wasn't the usual, baby-cry gutteral sound...just ack, ack, phbt. He has now gotten two of the three cushions. It really is not very endearing. How could he possibly think, "This is a great place for me to disgorge the hair from my gut?" And I've tried to stop him from even swallowing the hair in the first place, but he won't listen. He even gets it on situated on the end of his tongue first, arranging it for a better swallow.
    It is kind of fun watching guests sit where he's puked though.

By Hal on Sunday, July 9, 2000 - 09:45 am:

    Persian... My cat is a fucking persian, more hair than a fucking tribble ( speaking of klingons ). When a person pets him, it is phisically impossible not to inherit a massive amount of cat hair to their own body, which is then promptly removed by my asshole cat, whom might I add looks at it in the respect that its his hair and you can't fucking have it.

    Nothing you do will convince him otherwise...
    Sure wipe it off with a lint brush and throw it away, the little hairy bastard will find a way into the trash just to get it out, and swallow it.

    Its best just to give him what he wants, and wait for the football size hairball he saves for you until the very moment where it couldn't get any larger, and hoikes* it up ON YOU... I suppose he wants you to have it then, because he's finished..

    Thats when the wenier dog eats it...

    * Hoikes, don't know what it means don't ask.

By J on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 11:11 am:

    My cat is part persian too,he always leaves the hairball somewhere between my bed and the toilet,so I am sure to step in it in the middle of the night,I just hate that.

By Isolde on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 03:32 pm:

    I love shorthairs. *smirk*

By Jay on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 03:36 pm:

    Isn't that how the real Elvis died? choking on a hairball after to many tuna treats?

By Dougie on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 03:55 pm:

    "My cat has this special spot right at the root of his tail where if you scratch, he has to lick something. "

    Holy shit, my cat has the same thing. She'll lick herself if you scratch her in that spot, but if you put your hand out to her, she'll lick it and then gnaw on it. Really weird.

By Fetidbeaver on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 04:23 pm:

    I have a special spot at the root of my.......and if you scratch it I'll lick your........

By Isolde on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 04:50 pm:

    I'm so glad it's not just my cat. I know other cats that do this now. YAY! In fact, as I type, he's glaring at me. He must know I"m talking about him. "Meow," he says. "Mehow."
    He has a little siamese back there. It must be.

By Biro on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 04:51 pm:

    Cleaning out the catbox sure helps dingleberries, what a lovely word, thanks guys, I am the only one to clean out the catbox... obviously not enough as Percy takes a dump and has dingleberries a lot. I brush him regularly, he loves it, I think he gets off on it. I will lay odds that there are lots of humans who have dingleberries too - skidmarks in the shreddies...... with lumps on. Time to clean the catbox.........

By Bell_jar on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 05:05 pm:

    i worked at a boys and girls club last year, and around christmas time we had a gigantic party with hundreds of toys donated by the today show. we received a giant box full of yo-yos to give out as well. with all of the left-over yo-yos the staff got some. so i became a crazy yo-yoing fool, i would yo-yo in the morning, in the evening, and any other time i could. then my cat ate the yo-yo string. i wasn't home when it came out, but my roommate was. he had to pull on it for awhile. my cat also ate a plastic candy wrapper, and it took me a while to realize that it wasn't just stuck on his bottom, but in his bottom. my roommate pulled that one out too.

By Isolde on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 05:16 pm:

    Yum. I'm so glad my cats don't eat strings. Although a bottle of Vicadin did disappear yesterday...

By PeriPheral on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 06:13 pm:

    I should've been happy with hairballs. Now it's tapeworms the last two mornings. Elvis jumped on the bed yesterday, and I saw what looked like a wet straw wrapper hanging out of his butt. So, I imediately called my wife to take care of him. Because he's only 'our' cat when he's cute and not when there's a foot-and-a-half long worm dangling there. This morning was a near repeat, but he didn't make it back on the bed, thank God, before she caught him. Don't get me wrong...I feel sorry for him, and we're getting him treated, but my first thought was "Time to get rid of 'im."

    My wife's heard that girls sometimes swallow fleas, in hopes that they'll get a tapeworm.

By Biro on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 06:15 pm:

    Cat people unite...... this is my first experience of "indoor" cats, I have always let my cats roam, after 2 died I decided no more ... both of my cats have absolutely no desire to go outside, even with just the screen door, which they could easily push open, they just sit there. No, they are not wimpy cats! I am just happy that they dont have the wandering bug, if they did I would let them roam. Dingleberries be damned. Better than a dead cat.

By Isolde on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 08:08 pm:

    Why would anyone _want_ a tapeworm? I mean, there are less disgusting ways to lose weight. Really. Ig. That sounds really unpleasent.
    Because me cats are indoor/outdoor, they pick up worms now and then. Shadow's due for another dose. And I_still_ want to know who ate the Vicodin. Hm. Shadow's passed out on the floor. Maybe it was him.

By Kalliope on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 10:37 pm:

    i think my cat is abnormally clean although unbelievably moody. she's a siamese and more emotional than yours truly. i tried to adopt another cat and Sappho slipped into depression. we got rid of the second cat. she always gets her way.

    she has a thing for men though. men and shoes. if something smells like a man (a nightbefore-discarded-t-shirt, a used towel) she'll roll all in it, drooling, licking it, chewing on it.

    she learned that from me tho.

By Jay on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 10:45 pm:

    the words i'm saying now mean nothing more than meow to an animal.
    how come everyone here has cats. no dog people hang out at sorabji?
    one of my dogs ate some grass one time and had a slimy blade of poop covered grass hanging out of his ass. i had to do the wiping.
    and a little pulling for that matter.
    oh by the way, i ate those vicodins.

By NZA on Monday, July 10, 2000 - 11:31 pm:

    My cat came home at lunchtime minus his tag and bell.

    It's weird though - he's still wearing his collar, but the whole tag-and-bell-assembly is missing.

    Not that the bell ever stopped him catching birds.

    He caught a pigeon while we were on holiday. In a few months i'll dig it up so I can send the bands to whoever owned the dumb bird, if i can stomach facing it's corpse (and if Nelson hasn't found it first).

    I should have called him houdini - he's really good at getting out of collars, bandages, etc.

    He's half siamese, and talks a lot.

    Right now he'll be asleep on the bed.

By Zephyr on Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 01:35 am:

    I love cats. My mom hates them.

    Thus, we've been a dog family.

    And these dogs have always been evil.

    Our second and last one...well, I've got scars.

    I hate dogs.

    "Bark! Bark! Bark!"

    "Snarl! Grr! Bark!"







    "Ungh...damn, this is heavy!"


    ha. rid of the damn thing.

    for some reason, i found that amusing.

By Biro on Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 11:32 am:

    Ping Pong balls are all over my house the cats love them, it does have its drawbacks, listening to the sound of them bouncing on tile is very annoying when trying to sleep. Every so often I hide them and bring out the rubber balls, they shove them under the couch and wait for the ping pong balls.

By Isolde on Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 03:44 pm:

    Thanks for straightening that out. I was worried. Are you sure you ate them all? I only need one or cats were asleep on the bed when I came in. cute. My god. Curled up, and when I came in, Shadow lifted his head and squeaked, then went back to sleep.

By Dougie on Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 06:37 pm:

    Thanks for letting me know FB but I think I'll pass. Maybe next time...

By Biro on Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 06:44 pm:

    my cat, Percy just did a wallace & grommit on the coffee table. He is such a pig, he wolfs down his food then pushes Woody out of the way to chow down on hers. What with the dingleberries and now this, he is getting on my wick BIG TIME. I had a friend over who thought my cat was a dog! She couldnt believe the size of him. On the upside he is the most friendly cat I have ever had, loves people, loves to shed his hair on them whenever possible. Woody never comes out when anyone other than family are in the house.

By Jay on Tuesday, July 11, 2000 - 10:30 pm:

    how dare percy get on your wick!

By J on Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 01:24 am:

    I saw Chicken Run with Jonathon last July 3rd,it wasn,t very good.I bought cat food for hairballs tonight,hope it works.I had a dog for 13 years,she was stolen.

By TBone on Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 10:43 am:

    What would someone want with an old dog?

By Isolde on Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 01:04 pm:

    Good question. I'm sorry you didn't get her back, J. My cats are asleep at the foot of the bed--or Bell is sort of asleep, and shadow is purring and kneading him. Nope. Now Bell's glaring at Shadow. Bell has this funny way of appearing to smirk when he wakes up. I don't know why this is. I thought cats couldn't smile.

By Antithesis on Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 06:35 pm:

    Um... old dog? *swallow*
    I get hungry sometimes. Blame the goblins who steal my food.

    'sfunny. I've always been a dog person, and somehow when I wasn't looking, I realized I had a cat. Hated the damned beast for about 3 months, then gave up. We're quite happy now. Still, it's hard to romp with a cat. and Romping is what pets are about. When they aren't about purring.

    Feel like I'm coming out of the closet. Can I BE both a cat -and- a dog person?

By TBone on Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 06:44 pm:



By Cat on Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 06:48 pm:

    Now that Antithesis has shown the courage to come out...I too swing both ways. I can't help it, I was born with the cat/dog gene.

    I think my parents are starting to accept it now.

By Isolde on Wednesday, July 12, 2000 - 07:16 pm:

    My cats romp just fine. I despise dogs. Yich. In fact, as I speak, there is romping going on behind me. But they like to romp with me, too, it's just that when they're tired of romping, they nibble. And, after all, cats are cosier in bed. Soft and fluffy and warm, instead of big and hard and ugly and smelly and heavy and gross, like dogs.
    Or unshaven men, I suppose.

By Antithesis on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 07:12 am:

    As a member of the unshaven men's club, AND a dog person, I have no idea whether or not to be offended by that comment.

By Jay on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 08:27 am:

    dogs rule but they are nasty motherfuckers.
    ass-sniffing, ball-licking, poop-eating, dirt-rolling hounds.
    i had a dog once who would tug at the base of his dick with his teeth and sort of get himself off. it was really gross but pretty fucking funny. the process would get him spinning in a circle on the floor and he would make all these obscene noises. we used to call it his "trick".
    Freds doing his trick again.

By semillama on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 08:50 am:

    My cat has taken, for some reason, to using one section of my carpet as her place for poop, although her litter box is clean. I even took off her new collar.

By Mavis on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 11:43 am:

    bad smelly strikes again!!!!!

By semillama on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 06:31 pm:

    She did it agin today, plus puke.

    She knows she's being bad too. If this keeps up, she's going to the vet for a check-up.

By Mavis on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 06:45 pm:

    she did it again today?
    the trick is, you must scrub up every molecule of odor so even she can't smell it or she'll just keep doing it!
    bad seke!
    what kind of puke, if you don't mind me asking....hairball puke, or just wet kitty food looking puke...

By Gee on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 07:17 pm:

    I found another mouse in my kitchen today. disgusting. it looked like it had been thrown up.

    either that or thrown up On.

By Mavis on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 07:36 pm:

    my cats only give me puke presents--never miceor poop.

    i guess i'm just a lucky gal!

By Isolde on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 08:27 pm:

    Anti--don't be, or I'm never partying with you again.
    And I've seen how you croon over that cat. Whatever. You're totally in love. PJ, the cat at work, was lying on the negs I was trying to sort today. I didn't have the heart to turn him off...such a nice cat. Very old.

By Spider on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 10:08 pm:

    Cats are evil. Evil evil evil.

    The only cat I've ever loved was that well-nigh 30lb., arthritic Siamese I think I've talked about before. She was too fat and crippled to move, so she'd just lay (lie?) in the sunspots on the living room floor all day. There was another little kitten in the house that got everyone's attention, so I always hung around Bonnie (the Siamese) because I felt sorry for her, and she would *purr* when I pet her and she would *lick me* when I picked her up. She didn't do that for anyone else. Just me.

    Hmmm...maybe having cats is so rewarding because you know that if you've won their loyalty, you know you've accomplished something big. Dogs, on the other hand, love everybody.

    But there's something about the joy you get from putting your arms around a big dog and wrestling it to the ground while it tries to lick your face that makes cats seem so inadequate.

    Damn, I want a dog.

    My mom's gone to visit her sister...the sister who owns Sugar, mighty dog extraordinaire. I told her to take lots of pictures.

By Jay on Thursday, July 13, 2000 - 11:45 pm:

    i was at a coffeshop tonight hanging out and there was a dog in there. a real friendly pooch. i rubbed his ears and shit. made me feel good just petting him. then i smelled my hand.
    he stunk.

By Antithesis on Friday, July 14, 2000 - 04:52 am:

    never partying with me again... incentive or threat?

By semillama on Friday, July 14, 2000 - 08:15 am:

    food/hair puke.

    I've shamppoed twice already. I think I need to just soak about 5 square feet around the area.

By Dougie on Friday, July 14, 2000 - 08:21 am:

    What I never understood is that cats can have tuna breath that could stop a train, but yet, when they clean themselves, they don't smell like tuna. I know their saliva is supposed to have some sort of deodorizing effect, but you'd think their fur would smell as bad as their breath after they take their "kitty shower."

By Jay on Friday, July 14, 2000 - 08:41 am:

    try vinegar. i had this dream last night that i had this cat and it was mean as hell and wouldn't stop biting me. i was punching it really hard in the face and throwing it around. then i went outside and it followed me and got hit by a car. it's neck was broken and it looked all wacked out like Bill the Cat from Bloom County. but it wasn't dead.
    i had that dream cause i saw this dumb ass cat out in the middle of a really busy road last night. and i said, "you better get your stupid ass out of the road there spike" cause the cat looked like old school spike. possibly the coolest cat of all time. the original tub pooper.

By J on Friday, July 14, 2000 - 10:46 am:

    I use Spot Shot for cat clean-up,that stuff gets anything off carpets,it's the best.

By Jay on Friday, July 14, 2000 - 11:17 am:

    spot shot. sounds erotic.

By Mavis on Friday, July 14, 2000 - 11:45 am:


By Biro on Friday, July 14, 2000 - 01:42 pm:

    Fat Freddy's cat was the coolest cat. My cat has a particular oddity, everytime I use the printer he sits on top and tries grabbing the paper, very odd, and sitting in the shower with me, thats pretty weird for a cat too, as to cleaning up cat poop, I use vinegar, cats do not like the smell, then use baking soda.

By Mavis on Friday, July 14, 2000 - 01:59 pm:

    my tiny cat, ella a.k.a. "snake kitty"
    like to sit on top of my huge radius monitor. it's warm and nice up there for her i guess. she also likes to walk on the keyboard. i think she thinks i'm trying to play with her when i type.
    her mom, naomi, could give a shit about the computer or anything for that matter. she only likes smelly shoes and sleeping on my chest or legs.

By Biro on Saturday, July 15, 2000 - 12:38 am:

    Percy, my male cat thinks that the computer is his domain, sits right in front of the monitor and I have to continually get his butt out of the screen in order to type. In florida as it so hot and humid the tile floor is their preference for sitting, or behind the toilet is the second choice. Does your cat like the television, Percy will sit mesmerized - its kinda spooky watching him. My computer chair is his altime sitting spot, and it shows as its covered with white hair, lint brushes rule in our house. I should post his pic on the site as he has the most amazing eyes one amber and the other bright blue. A cool kitty. Everyone who walks thru the door is treated to his loving, my other cat is non-existant where friends are concerned, she just hides under my bed til they are gone.

By Isolde on Saturday, July 15, 2000 - 02:00 pm:

    Shadow only likes Hitchcock. Bell will watch anything. They love to sit on my lap while I'm typing--I think they want me to get carpal tunnel or something. Shadow sneaked his little kitty behind under the covers this morning. The first I knew of it was when he clawed me in the leg by accident. Lovely. Then we had a little kitty tussel, which he won, and went back to sleep.
    Cats do to roughhouse. Mine do, at least. Shadow has this wierd front claw that doesn't wear down--I should clip it, he nailed me good the other day.

By Biro on Saturday, July 15, 2000 - 02:48 pm:

    Cats are fickle, I am lying in bed gently stroking my cat, she is purring all is well when out of the blue she bites me, did I stroke her the wrong way? I keep my hand still and then she licks me and starts purring again. Play time? Lets chow down on mom sounds like fun to me. Why do cats stare at nothing, that is creepy, everytime my cats do it I am convinced there is someone in the room, their tails do that little swishy thing, ears up,posture rigid, then its back to lullaby land again as if nothing has happened and I am wide awake lying in a panic. Cats must like to play mind games, and thats a beaut.

By Jay on Saturday, July 15, 2000 - 04:40 pm:

    i was thinking of inventing this contraption for washing cats. it's like a bag and you put your feline in it and it has a zipper that goes around their neck so only their head sticks out. then it has a port like on a dry suit where you hook up a hose and pump in water. shake fluffy around a little bit for some agitating action and drain. out comes a clean kitty and your arms aren't torn up like some three year junkie.
    place your orders now.

By Biro on Saturday, July 15, 2000 - 07:42 pm:

    thats for the dogs.......... kitties are the clean ones. I can think of a few humans that would work on. Don't mess with the kitties Jay, you're on a losing streak if you do. Fred could have done with that invention.

By Isolde on Sunday, July 16, 2000 - 12:30 am:

    You make a kitty burrito. Or a kitty harness. It works very well.
    I was hanging out with Antithesis tonight, and Shadow attacked my foot. It was pretty hardcore. I can't figure out if it was because he couldn't quite jump on me, since I was at a wierd angle to reach from the ground, or what. But he attacked me.

By Anti-somethin on Monday, July 17, 2000 - 10:16 pm:

    *Whistles innocently* Don't know what yer talkin' bout. I was at home that night, working on a book.

    *cue Spaniard from "Princess Bride"* I do not think I am who you think I am.

    Your cats ARE pretty cool, though.

By Isolde on Tuesday, July 18, 2000 - 01:38 am:

    Of course. And right now, they're curled up on the bed laughing at me because I have goop in my eye and can't see the screen. Shadow came in looking all confused. He's the messy cat--he never looks tidy, like Bell.

By Bobby on Monday, March 26, 2001 - 11:23 pm:

    I read this "cat" thread once before, but then couldn't remember where it was. I tried a search with the word "cat," but was overwhelmed with hits on Sorabjiite-member, Cat. Ended up searching with keyword "hairball." Lots of unusual hits here with that one.

    I've been taking turns with my sister watching the family farm while my parents winter in Florida. Is actually more hobby farm than real farm - just a big tax writeoff. The drive out there is the hardest part, chores are easy; bring the mail in, throw hay out for a few unkempt horses that nobody ever rides anymore, put out catfood for the half-wild barn cats to fend for against the neighborhood raccoon.

    Last night, when I arrived, the second I got out of my car, I heard a most pitiful yawling. The pregnant cat, Dipper, (The name was originally "Tipper," for Tipper Gore, but through a child's mispronounciation, had evolved into Dipper.) had chosen to give birth on the frozen concrete slab of the back porch, instead of a traditional cozy nest in the hayloft. One kitten was already frozen to death, face locked into a permanent death grimace. The surviving little yawler's energy was ebbing away. Dipper had that insrutable expression of nonchalance that cats often have, and wasn't demonstrating one iota of maternal instinct towards her new offspring. Cats can be so stupid.

    Dipper, who normally hates men, and is generally inclined to hiss and scratch at me, calmly let me carry her in the house and settle her down onto some old towels. On the phone, my sister, who had studied to be a veternarian assistant, provided advice. It was important to warm up the kitten while trying to avoid passing my scent to her, lest Dipper reject her completely. It is hard to cuddle a kitty and warm it up without actually holding it in your palms. Dipper had two more kittens. I fed the kittens warm milk with a medicine dropper, while Dipper took her time cleaning herself off. Eventually, I was able to coach her into nursing. Then, and only then, did she start acting like a mom, and begin licking her kittens clean. Dipper even gave me a token little hiss to let me know she was back in charge.

    I lied to my daughter and told her Dipper only had four kittens. The ground is too frozen for burials, so it was an above-ground resting place for the little cat-sicle in an old bread bag tossed into the dumpster.

    I must get Dipper and the kittens out of the house before the ol' man migrates back north. I wouldn't put it past him to tie the kittens into a gunny sack with some rocks and chuck 'em into the creek.

    Anybody want some free kittens?

By Czarina on Monday, March 26, 2001 - 11:46 pm:

    I have plenty.But I have a great big lawn bag,that I could probably fit the "ol man" into,along with some balast,and I can crew a sailboat,with the best,[thanks to my dad,who I sometimes secretly thought of as Captain Blye,cause he ran such a tight ship],and it would be my pleasure to take the 'ol man out sailing with me.

    Thats just mean.

By Cat on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 12:26 am:

    "sorabjite-member, Cat"

    For the record, I don't belong here. I just got lost while looking for the Big Girls Bondage Room.

By J on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 12:41 am:

    You belong here Cat,and you too Bobby,I'm sorry I was so mean,I do kind of live around the low road,I've just been kind of jaded.

By pez on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 01:35 am:

    mes parents went ballistic the day i brought sylvie home. they told me that i needed to find a new home for her or she'd go to a shelter.

    seven months later, she's still here, my kitten to the core.

By Bobby on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 02:56 am:

    Awwwwwwww, J! Why did you have to go and turn nice on me? Without you bustin' my chops all the time, being here becomes like doing open mic night at the comedy club without getting heckled.

    And you made me admit I was wrong about you. I don't like being wrong.

By Czarina on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 10:03 am:

    Feel the love.

By patrick on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 11:38 am:


    just feel me

By J on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 04:45 pm:

    Vodka makes me very loveable.

By pez on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 06:00 pm:

    i'd say i'm unlovable, but my kitty seems to like me pretty well.

By Czarina on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 08:47 pm:

    I think your'e loveable.

By semillama on Tuesday, March 27, 2001 - 09:52 pm:

    My kittie's right here in the hotel with me.

    Where's Isolde been? Huh? I'm going to kick her in her can.

By pez on Wednesday, March 28, 2001 - 01:13 pm:

    *jeopardy theme*


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