700 Club

sorabji.com: Why I oughta...: 700 Club
By A very angry Wisper on Wednesday, February 18, 1998 - 03:54 pm:
    to: the 700 club

    I recently, by chance, saw your report on occultism in schools. It
    scared me.
    This was not because of the story itself, but because I could not (and
    still can't) imagine that people in our modern world, educated people
    such as yourselves, still fear these things. Being a
    student myself, none of the things you reported succeeded to shock or
    even to make me blink an eye. The only shocking thing is your apparent
    ignorance. Exactly how naive do you think your children are?
    First, let me stress the fact that Wicca -witchcraft- is a religion, and
    just as every other religion, deserves to be studied and understood as a
    part of our world's history. You say it is anti-catholisism, but this is
    only because it is NOT Catholicism. The grade 12 religion program (in my
    area, anyway)is dedicated entirely to the study of other religions, is
    this wrong and dangerous too? in your eyes it seems to be.
    I believe that the study of other faiths is enlightening, enriching and
    very important for any person. The ceremonies you described in
    your program, such as fortune telling, cemetery rituals, etc....are all
    tradition for other faiths and cultures, and it is down right prejudice
    to say that they are negative or dangerous in any way. I'm sure some
    cultures would find the idea of a man being nailed to a cross quite
    disturbing. What if kids started doing that?! your logic is quite
    Secondly, Magic cards are played as a GAME, and only a GAME, the only
    people who take the "demonic messages" seriously are paranoid adults and
    children who are obviously unstable to begin with. Those who participate
    in such mania as killing animals or even other children clearly have
    much greater problems than the fact that they play with cards, don't you
    And astrology is a science that has been practiced since the beginning
    of time, even before the days of Jesus, and to some people it is just as
    After watching your report, I can't help but be reminded that if we do
    not teach children to understand things like witchcraft, history will be
    doomed to repeat itself. Remember that the people who participated in
    witch burning so long ago, the people responsible for the deaths of
    hundreds of innocent men and women of God, were 'intelligent' christians
    just like you. They were fed by the same ignorance.
    What are you afraid of?

    *(no response from them yet..........)*

By Me again on Wednesday, February 18, 1998 - 03:56 pm:
    oops, why did it come out on the screen like that? with crazy spacing....
    oh well, not important.

By Golden Boy on Thursday, February 19, 1998 - 09:10 am:

    The three wisemen were astrologers...the followed a star gaze to the newborn baby Yahweh. Angry whisper has proved a beautiful point...i luv it...

    Hey, angry whisper, you say you studied religion for a bit something about 12th year...what are studying about it et al...

    til then,

    watch out for kids who play with hammer, nails, and large two by fours...

By Jen on Monday, March 2, 1998 - 04:48 pm:
    right on sister!

By Jesus Christ Your Lord on Monday, March 2, 1998 - 09:29 pm:
    Why the hell were you watching the 700 club? That's where you went wrong.

    Christianity (in the organized sense) is an evil scar upon the earth.

    It is nothing like what I meant when I tried to teach this stupid population to love each other.

    But I love you all anyway, even if you are stupid, pathetic, biggoted, homophobic, intolerant and freakishly single minded.

    Actually, I'm kind of pissed off. If you guys can't all learn to get along I'm going to pull this car over right now and shine your bottoms infront of everyone who passes by.

By Just Visitor on Tuesday, March 3, 1998 - 01:14 am:
    Jesus, why didn't you listen when I tried to tell you that Christianity would have worked better as a four part mini-series than as a weekly? I mean, Christ, even Cheers and Seinfeld have called it quits, and they've only been at it 10 years. You can't expect to maintain an audience over 2 millenia without changing format a little. How about a spin-off? "Apostle Fever?" Or maybe a gimmick, like Omnimax Christianity or Christ-3D!.

    Think marketing.

    God, I'm tired.

By Dave on Tuesday, March 3, 1998 - 01:49 am:
    The format has changed quite a bit, actually. And spin-offs are never as good as the original. Remember Joanie Loves Chachi? We'd all be better off if Christianity had remained an obscure mushroom cult.

By Just Visitor on Tuesday, March 3, 1998 - 03:20 am:
    Joanie: "Chachi, remember how early Christians used a fish as a symbol to mark their meetings and such?"

    Chachi: "No, not really."

    Joanie: "And did you ever notice that Pisces was dominant in the Zodiac at that point in history?"

    Chachi: "You're saying the early Christians were connected to astrology?"

    Joanie: "Chachi?"

    Chachi: "Yes, Joanie?"

    Joanie: "Is Chachi your first or last name?"

    Chachi: "Indeed..... indeed."

By Jennifer on Tuesday, March 3, 1998 - 10:05 am:
    did anyone catch the dateline show last week about Gabe of Sedona? basically, a 2 time divorced musician claims he is the messenger of an alien existence who says the world is coming to an end in 2000. around 100 people live on his property and follow the teachings. he claims to be an alien himself and so is his "compliment" (his common law wife), along with a few of the more famous faces of our past like Martin Luther and Jesus. here is what i'm thinking...i don't question the existence of other life forms in our universe, but why would they be so selective to chose a man who has isolated himself from the rest of the human race to be our messenger? and, if true, why does it require one to give up all worldly posessions and move to this compound? furthermore, why is it a secret from the rest of us? i personally believe if an alien nation wanted to contact us they would come right down and do it without all this hoopla about secret societies. we will all know it when the time comes.

By Christopher on Tuesday, March 3, 1998 - 03:18 pm:
    Wait a second. This guy has a compound? And I can live on it free? Well, I don't have much in the way of wordly goods, and I can stand living with some UFO nut with a messiah complex. Hell, I've had far worse in the way of room mates! This sounds like just the opportunity I've been waiting for. I pay $1300 a month to rent a goddam tiny one bedroom apartment. A compund sounds so civilized. All I ask is that it not be the same compound that the Kennedy's live in. Can you imagine? Getting chased around by Teddy Kennedy all bloated with drunken ardor, pursuing me across the compund in his striped boxer shorts; getting cornered at the barbwire topped gate...Assaulted while the uncaring eyes of armed guards look on from high up in their sniper towers. Oh no. I ain't gonna be locked in some fancy prison yard while Teddy Kennedy attempts to insinuate himself on me. You know what? I'll just pay my $1300 and chalk this all up as a bad idea. A VERY BAD IDEA.

By Pete on Wednesday, March 4, 1998 - 08:34 am:
    But what if JFK Jr. was a weekend guest at that compound?

    And who pays $1300 for a 1 bedroom? I hope you get utilities with that. And maybe an order of fries...

By R.C. on Wednesday, March 4, 1998 - 12:50 pm:
    He must be living in NY or LA/where, for $1300 a month/you get a doorman & polite roaches -- i.e. the kind that appear discreetly in the dark & scurry away once you turn on the light. Vs. rude roaches/which pull up a chair beside you when you sit down to eat & don't bother waiting for you to finish saying grace.

By Christopher on Wednesday, March 4, 1998 - 01:34 pm:
    No, I live in San Francisco, and we don't have roaches. We have ants. and earthquakes. And floods. And brush fires. And landslides.

    On the plus side--I DO have a pretty nice view, and my neighbors are quiet.

    On the down side-- It's $1300 a month!!!

    I'm just in it for the money folks. As soon as I harvest my big pile of cash from Silicon Valley, I'm outta here. I would love to stay, but $600,000 for a ramshackle 2 bedroom house is a little rich for my blood. In fact, I haven't discounted leaving the States altogether and heading for Hungary. There are a few U.S. Multimedia companies over there and a boy with my skills...Well, I should do just fine. Then again, I don't know if I could hack living outside the states. The economy is wild right now. Time to make our nest eggs. The future is the future. Who knows what the hell I'll do next.

By Wisper on Wednesday, March 4, 1998 - 08:56 pm:
    Well, that's it, 2 months and no response from ye olde 700 club. I really wanted a rebutal, too, nothing like a good religion argument to get the blood flowing. Bastards.
    Golden Boy: as I mentioned, gr.12 religion class (which I am fourced to take b/c catholic school) is all about other big religions, so I've studied *please excuse the spelling* Buhdism, Taoism, Judaeism, Islam, Christianity, Zoroastrianism and Hindu. By myself (when I'm bored) I've also studied Mormons, Wicca and Satanism, which are all very facinating.
    Me? I'm an athiest.
    Jesus: good point! and very funny too. I always try to explain to my religion teachers that Jesus never said anything about being worshipped, he just wanted people to be nice! nor did he say he was the son of god, (so who made that up???) but then again, we're all supposed to be "his", aren't we? But religion teachers are never up for disscusion, I definetly think the board of education keeps them form that. They can't be THAT conditioned, can they? no-one can.
    I hope.
    Although my years at catholic schools have shown me more frightening things than I ever thought possible......
    And finally, what was I doing watching the 700 club? I was channel surfing when I passed by a box of Tarot cards on the screen that were exactly like mine, and someone's voice going: evil....EVIL.....eeeeEEEEeeeeeevil!!!!! or something like that. So I watched. And learned.
    And threw stuff at the screen.

By R.C. on Wednesday, March 4, 1998 - 11:26 pm:
    I hope you didn't throw yr tarot cards. Pat Robertson's ugly mug might have contaminated them.

By Sugarbaby on Thursday, March 19, 1998 - 01:18 am:
    Chris, I have the perfect solution to your money problem! OK, I know that you only have a 1 bedroom apt., but think about how much money you'll save if you have a roomy!!!
    Now, before you get you undies in a bind, let me tell you my plan-Im here in good ol' ND, Im going to college to be an OTA, and well, I need to get the hell out of here! I know you might think that Im a complete psyco for doing this over the internet but hey, you never know!
    Anyway, let me tell you a little bit about myself. Im 19, grew up on a farm, moved to Boston and lived there for over a year and here I am, back home going to school! Im really easy to get along with, I have a really good sense of humor, Im pretty organized and neat, I love to go out and have a good time, as far a partying I am the "Queen of Good Times"! Thats just the icing on the cake, if you like what you see, send me e-mail at allmensuk@yahoo.com

    Oh, I was in a cult, so I have really good stories to tell you!!!! (Dont worry, Im out of it now, as a matter of fact Im out of religion completly) Thats anoter story for another time.

By Crystal on Thursday, March 19, 1998 - 02:04 am:
    Anybody know anything about Druids? Not the historical ones who allegedly built Stonehenge. I'm talking the modern-day Druids. They're very hard to find out about. The books at the library only talk about the ancient Druids. The reason for my interest is that my ex-boyfriend dumped me and ran off and joined them with no advance warning. I'm very confused. Any info you can provide is appreciated.

By Christopher on Thursday, March 19, 1998 - 12:48 pm:
    Sugarbaby, I'm sorry, but take my advice and stay in school. If you don't you'll be a burden on society. Trust me. You don't want to come to S.F. and work in a coffee house or be a bike messenger. If I'm wrong and you really want to do something like that, at least change your e-mail address. You've gotta be kidding if you think ANY guy would look at that and think "Hey! She sounds cool".

By Sugarbaby on Thursday, March 19, 1998 - 01:36 pm:
    You know, your soooo right!!!! I am laughing so hard right now!!!!! I told myself that that has to be the cheesest message anyone can write!!! I am sorry that I freaked you out, Im not as wierd as you might think! Well, maybe, it depends on what your point of view is. And whats wrong with moving to SF? OK, Im sure there might be some down falls, like crime, smog, and your occasional earthquake! But thats more interesting then -50 weather!!! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
    And I wasnt planning on dropping out of school!!! I just wanted to change locations!!!
    And no! Im not going to change my e-address!! I get off on weird people! The weirder the better!! And dont judge me by that statement. You cant tell me that Americans today LOVE bloody gory wierd things! Id give you examples but Im just not in the mood to. Anyway, my search continues!!! Wish me luck!!

By Christopher on Thursday, March 19, 1998 - 06:07 pm:
    Well, SB, If you're serious about relocating, you simply have to forget about doing it online. There's absolutely zero possibility of this happening if you wish to move to the SF Bay Area. Also, do your homework and find out what the local economy is like. I can tell you that I am living in one of the most brutal housing markets in the U.S. What I recommend is to have AT LEAST $3000 in savings and take a trip to wherever it is you want to go to. If it's S.F., get a room for a month at a residency hotel. It'll run you about $150 a week. While there, register with a roommate referral service. Start the day you arrive, because it isn't easy to find a place here. The upside to S.F.: If you are technically proficient in computers, you'll land a job within 2 weeks. The Downside: If you aren't, then the chances of landing a job that pays better than $6 - $7 an hour are very slim. It's expensive to live here. let me reiterate that. IT'S EXPENSIVE TO LIVE HERE. S.F. is a great city to live in if you are motivated and innovative. It can also be a very cruel place to live. We have one of the highest rates of WORKING homeless people in the country. Thats right - working, but not able to find a place to live. Moving here is not something I would recommend lightly to a young person like yourself, but it is the land of golden opportunity if you are a computer geek or a graphic designer. I happen to be both. My honest feeling is that if I can give you any advice at all, it would be to just hang tight, work on your grades and wait until you are a little more marketable before striking out to the coast, or wherever you might want to go. I know it sounds lame, and you're probably looking for a little adventure to shake up your life, but it's so much better when you do it with a plan and the proper tools to succesfully make the jump. Think how shitty it would be to have to have your folks wire you a plane ticket because you're broke and without a place to live. I do wish you luck!

By Sugarbaby on Thursday, March 19, 1998 - 07:17 pm:
    Thanks for your advice! I did know that it is very expensive to live in SF tho. You didnt tell me anything new. Ya, I think I am looking for a bit of adventure. I will take your advice and stick to old ND!
    If I may ask, why are you living there if the conditions are so bad?
    I hope that you understand that my attempt to find a roommate on the internet was not at all taken seriously! It was just ment for fun!
    Off the record tho, Im wondering just what type of life you live. I know its none of my busness and in no way do you have to answer that question, so far all I know is that your some kind of computer nerd(which isnt all that bad, is it?)and your really old! Not that old, but you know old enough to do coke in the 80's! I hope that Im not screwing up your life with someone else! If I am please take no offense!
    Untill next time!

By Venatrix Mirjen on Thursday, March 19, 1998 - 07:29 pm:
    Wiccans think they have it bad...RPGers think they have it bad...Druids...<shakes head>
    Try explaining LaVey's Satanism to someone. it's atheism with ceremonial magic thrown in and its name was chosen to shock people.

    Hard to explain. Harder to keep people within a few feet whilst explaining. Always getting confused with devil worshipping weirdos and 'white witches' of all kinds. Sigh.

By Christopher on Thursday, March 19, 1998 - 07:35 pm:
    SB, If 33 is old, then I'm old. As far as coke in the 80's is concerned, sure I've done my share, but the strongest I imbibe these days is a little pot and the occasional gin and tonic, which DOES NOT taste like hair spray. The conditions in SF aren't bad if you make a lot of money, and I do. I plan on piling up as much money as I can over the next 5 years, then I'm probably out of here. I want to own a home, but not here. If I'm going to lay out $600,000 for a house, I'm going to live like minor royalty. All in all, I have a pretty cushy life, but I'm without a boyfriend right now. Know why? Because allmensuk. hahahaha

By Christopher on Thursday, March 19, 1998 - 07:44 pm:
    Oh , VM, Lavey is worm food. The fucking Setians are whooping it up in his absence. They don't get much weirder. or geeky.

By Slacker on Thursday, March 19, 1998 - 10:17 pm:
    holy fuck! just scrolled this page. someone call jerry springer! could you imagine sugarbaby meeting christopher? that's a screwy concept man.

By Dave on Friday, March 20, 1998 - 12:49 am:
    Christopher, c'mon now. Gin and tonics totally taste like Aquanet extra-hold. Or perfume, or have you ever had a Sudafed without the candy coating? Bitter. Yuck.

By Slacker on Friday, March 20, 1998 - 12:55 am:
    dave are these just metaphors or actual comparisons. i tried both aquanet and g&t but prefer the latter.

By Bill W. on Friday, March 20, 1998 - 03:44 am:
    You should try a Kaopectate Colada! HOOOO-WEEEE!

By Venatrix Mirjen on Friday, March 20, 1998 - 08:39 pm:
    I know LaVey is dead. It's upsetting, but don't get me wrong; I don't consider him the highest form of life. (my job).
    Oh, and at the risk of my life, i'd have to agree wholeheartedly with your modifying adjective preceeding 'Setians'.
    They're the ones really giving Satanism a bad name.

By Lucy Phurre on Sunday, April 25, 1999 - 04:48 pm:

    Oops just reread this. Guess the PMS is hitting me after all.

    Oh, Jee-ee-zus!
    It was a joke! I wouldn't mention it, but your attitude seems to be "Look at me, I'm a Satanist."
    The only reason I have any respect for Anton LaVey is because he carried off one of the largest practical jokes in modern history. Started a whole religion and people got into it.
    (I personally, periodically enjoy reworking Luciferianism to my own ends from time to time, but I don't think LaVey is the way to go in order to do that)

    Anyway, how do you reconcile Satanism (which is about personal freedom) with being a narc. That's just wrong no matter how you look at it.

    Check out the Crowley-heads; most of them are equally silly, but they have better parties.

    Anyway, Christopher, guess what.
    SF is now the single highest rent area on the planet. Since the rent controls went, we beat out Hong Kong last year (I personally prefer the South Bay, it's cheaper.)

By Sheila on Sunday, April 25, 1999 - 05:51 pm:

    i miss christopher

By Agatha on Monday, April 26, 1999 - 12:54 am:

    lucy, what name did you used to go by?

    i miss christopher, too.

By Lucy on Sunday, May 9, 1999 - 02:50 pm:

    Don't remember my previous aliases.
    That had recently occurred to me, b/c I ran into somebody from Melvourne, Australia, who, it turned out, knew somebody else, who was from Perth, Australia, with whom I had had a bit of a debate a few years ago, on the subject of a hypothetical dead nun.
    Oh, yeah, that's it. I just remembered just now.
    Something about Lizzie Borden or something.

By Agatha on Sunday, May 9, 1999 - 08:29 pm:

    were you venatrix mirjen?

By Semillama on Monday, May 10, 1999 - 03:30 pm:

    Just scrolled through...Don't want to offend anybody, but I have just one little issue...
    Astrology a science? Come on, now. IT's a nifty parlor game, but science it is not. Astrology is incapable of accomadating new astronomical information, such as when astronomers discovered that in astrological terms, there's a whole other constellation of stars that the sun "passes" through, Ophiacus (sp?) that moves all the dates associated with signs around and screws it all up.
    Besides, I have a damn hard time accepting that playing connect the dots with random stars has any influence on human life.

    Sorry, astrology buffs.

By Anoyomous on Tuesday, February 1, 2005 - 03:34 am:

    I'm trying to find out about Ophiacus
    What can you tell me about this 13th star sign???

By wisper on Tuesday, February 1, 2005 - 07:19 pm:

    hey guys, when you Google for Ophiacus, this page is #3 :)

    which is odd, since I sis the same search back when this first came up, and there were many pages...

By semillama on Tuesday, February 1, 2005 - 08:55 pm:

    Jesus christ, i've been here six years???

    Where's my medal?

By TBone on Wednesday, February 2, 2005 - 01:14 am:

    The medal's for 8 years and up.

By moonit on Wednesday, February 2, 2005 - 02:02 am:

    I'm sure you've been here longer Sem - I remember reading this in 1998 and thinking what the fuck is the 700 club. Since that time New Zealand now has God TV. Now I know. My life is not better for it - but there's some freakish shit and some good material for drinking games on Shine.

By TBone on Wednesday, February 2, 2005 - 02:26 am:

    I can't believe I apostrophed medals.

By semillama on Wednesday, February 2, 2005 - 10:19 am:

    i think the earliest post of mine I can find is 1999, but kazu would probably know.

By kazu on Wednesday, February 2, 2005 - 10:45 am:

    yeah, it's 1999.

By dave. on Wednesday, February 2, 2005 - 12:45 pm:

    i think i'm end of december 97. a chronicle of de-evolution.

By agatha on Wednesday, February 2, 2005 - 10:20 pm:

By agatha on Wednesday, February 2, 2005 - 10:37 pm:

    Here are the oldest ones I can find. I was annoying back then. Not that I'm any less annoying now, but hey.

    8/19/97, 7:55 PM
    kelsey procrastinating.procrastinating.procrastinating.thinking i'd like a donut.shifting positions and procrastinati;ng a little bit more.

    still nope.

    8/22/97, 3:25 PM
    i'm deciding what to buy for my nephew for his birthday, and listening to john spencer blues explosion. i think. or, maybe i'm just typing on this leedle page.


    9/9/97, 10:13 PM
    listening to the new mick harvey album. congratulating mark thomas on his impending move, hoping he can find some peace. welcome back, glad to hear you had a good vacation with the fab maggy.


    9/21/97, 0:16 AM
    watching my girl twirl in a black tutu. eating goodn'plenty. chillin on a saturday night.


By kazu on Wednesday, February 2, 2005 - 11:11 pm:

    aw. those are cute.

    Agatha! I got a job in Emory's Special Collections/Archive
    as a manuscript processing assistant.

By wisper on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 01:02 am:

    that sounds so interesting kazu, I'm jealous and i don't even know anything about the job.

    My first official posts here from 96 or 97 have been lost. There used to be more threads in the "what have you done?" category, i don't know what happened to them, they were gone after a server crash or something. It was there.
    And fuck if I'm searching the old site for me. I wouldn't know where to begin.

By TBone on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 02:08 am:

By jack on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 02:49 am:

    good one:

    sorabji.com: Is it art?: yes, yes it is.
    By Kelsey on Saturday, November 22, 1997 - 12:07 am:

    according to r. mutt, it is most definitely art. i am the first person to post in here, too. i rule.

By Gee on Thursday, February 3, 2005 - 11:57 am:

    I do not remember when I started, but I remmeber my first (or one of my first) post was about the way your name appears in blue on the page, and someone told me to fuck myself, my ass.

    I was such a dork in the early days. in a few years will I look back at the 2005 Gee and go "God, what a loser." ?

    sadly, probably.

By agatha on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 01:14 am:

    Ahhh, Kazu. I am green with envy. You have to tell me all about it. If I'm not mistaken, Emory also has a huge alternative press/ zine collection. Unless I'm thinking of somewhere else.

    You like that one, Jack? I'm always embarrassed when I see things I wrote, even if they were a month ago. Luckily, I don't usually look at them too often or I would never write anything here at all.

By J on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 02:05 am:

    Hey Ya

By jack on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 02:23 am:

    i like all of your posts, agatha.

    i sparked on that one because of your enthusiasm for the (then) new format.


By TBone on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 02:28 am:

    Agatha first-posted in a few of them.
    Congrats, Kazu.

By jack on Friday, February 4, 2005 - 02:33 am:

    yes, congratulations and keep it going, kazu!


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