eating haggis. What are you eating?: eating haggis.

By Markus on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 07:01 pm:

    It's Burns Night. Whoop it up.

    Fair fa' your honest sonsie face,
    Great chieftain o' the puddin'-race!
    Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
    Painch, tripe, or thairm:
    Wel are ye wordy o' a grace
    As lang's my arm.

    The groaning trencher there ye fill,
    Your hurdies like a distant hill;
    Your pin wad help tae mend a mill
    In time o' need;
    While thro' your pores the dews distil
    Like amber bead.

    His light see rustic Labout dight,
    An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
    Trenching your gushing entrails bright
    Like ony ditch;
    And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reekin', rich!

    Then, horn for horn they stretch an' strive,
    Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
    Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
    Are bent like drums;
    Then auld guidman, maist like to rive,
    Bethankit hums.

    Is that o'er his French ragout,
    Or olio that wad staw a sow,
    Or fricasee wad mak her spew,
    Wi' perfect sconner,
    Looks down wi' sneering scornfu' view
    On sic a dinner?

    Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
    As feckless as a wither'd rash,
    His spindle shank a guid whiplash,
    His neive a nit:
    Thro' bloody flood or field to dash,
    O how unfit!

    But mark the Rustic, hagis-fed-
    The trembling earth resounds is tread!
    Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
    He'll make it whissle;
    An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned,
    Like taps o' thrissle.

    Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
    And dish them out their bill o' fare,
    Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
    That jaups in luggies;
    But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
    Gie her a Haggis!

By Isolde on Tuesday, January 25, 2000 - 08:17 pm:

    But...I don't like haggis...

By Nate on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 10:52 am:

    damn, i love haggis.

By Czarina on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 11:05 am:

    I don't even like the word haggis.

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 11:54 am:

    Nate...are you serious? Haggis is the most replusive smelling/tasting food in the world. It is no wonder Scots don't wear anything under their kilts....after eating haggis they don't have time to take down their shorts.

    Actually the real reason is because the sound of a zipper spooks the sheep.

By Nate on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 12:13 pm:

    actually the real reason is so they can crap during battle.

    and yes, haggis is great.

    back off the scots, canadia boy.

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 01:12 pm:

    but.....but....I am of Scot descent.....if you can't make fun of yourself....who can you make fun of?

By Patrick on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 01:26 pm:

    what exactly is haggis?

By MapleLeaf on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 01:47 pm:

By Nate on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 02:00 pm:

    but it's fucking good.

    mapleleaf, i'm on the phone with sean connery. he says you're on the edge of having your heritage removed.

    we scots don't fuck around.

By Antigone on Wednesday, January 26, 2000 - 11:33 pm:

    Haggis be god's food, ya. Last time I was on the Isle I couldn't get enough of the stuff. That and kidney pie...

By Gee on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 02:14 am:

    My brother was named after Mr. Wife-Beating Connery. Heckofa role model.

    where did you ever pick up the word "canadia", Nate? My friend Jerry used to say that all the time.

By Nate on Thursday, January 27, 2000 - 11:00 am:

    that's what we call the land of the canadians.

    it was me, phil, and phil's little brother...



    i shit you not.

    well, ok. i'm shitting you. but that's what we call the land of the canadians.

By WildDatum on Sunday, March 5, 2000 - 07:11 pm:

    Hey, Nate! Isn't Sean Connery Welsh?

By J on Monday, March 6, 2000 - 10:14 am:

    I don,t care what he is,I,d shag him.

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