i wanted to stay away

sorabji.com: Do you have any regrets?: i wanted to stay away
By Asia on Monday, August 10, 1998 - 05:52 pm:
    just got back from an amazing vacation to the outer banks of north carolina. before leaving, i'd joked about quitting my job over the phone, bailing on the mortgage and just staying away. now i wish that i had. not that things are bad here, quite the opposite, but things are better there. i guess i cant really describe how i feel, just that i've not felt this upset about the ending of a vacation or the ending of a summer in a long time. im tired of the new england winters. perhaps it's just the enchantment of a place that's unlike who i am and where im from. maybe it was just the total relaxation after a particularly shitty year. when i unlock the door to my office tomorrow morning at 8:30, everything there will be the same, and yet i will be very different inside. i feel haunted.

By Whet on Monday, August 10, 1998 - 07:03 pm:
    may your dreams come true one day.

By Starchy on Tuesday, August 11, 1998 - 10:57 am:
    Aye, NEnglish winters can be downright painful... personally, though, I find that I have that reaction everytime I travel - perhaps only because I do it so rarely, perhaps because I'm just not working or dealing with other stresses during those few glorious days... or maybe Boston really does just plain suck.


By Liam on Tuesday, August 11, 1998 - 12:22 pm:
    I know the feeling too. Sometimes I get that feeling as I board the plane at the start of the vacation! I think it comes on because I am aware that when I come back I will feel down about the end of the vacation and returning home. Usually once I've been back for a day or so, though, I get over it and I'm happy to be back home. Living in California means that I don't have to put up with a shitty New England winter which makes things easier I suppose.

    I think we get these feelings not so much because we don't like where we live, or because whereever it is that we go on vacation is really that much better, but because when we return home we have to return to work, or face other stresses and issues in our lives that we were able to put off for a few weeks. It's the routine, the mundane, and the on-going problems which we are forced to confront when we get back home that brings on these feelings.

    Anyway, I suggest you think about some of things you really enjoy in Boston and take advantage of them this week. That should cheer you up.

By Nate on Tuesday, August 11, 1998 - 05:06 pm:
    that's funny.

    everytime i travel i think "damn, i really do live in the best place on earth."

    i probably just don't go to the right places, though.

By Starchy on Wednesday, August 12, 1998 - 09:50 am:
    A few weeks? If only I could... I don't get vacation time, you see. In fact, this last monday was my first day off since May. Bleh.

    And as for things I enjoy in Boston, I actually did end up taking advantage of quite a few of 'em last weekend...

    ..when I had a visitor from New York. But for me, they generally involve (or end up involving) staying out all night and, like I said, I work..

    Oh, well. At least it's not Florida.

By Liam on Wednesday, August 12, 1998 - 01:31 pm:

    What is it that you do for a living that prevents you from taking any vacation? I hope you enjoy whatever it is.

By Carrie Ann on Wednesday, August 12, 1998 - 01:34 pm:
    I agree with Nate.

    Whenever I travel, sure I feel sad to be leaving... ending my time away from the hustle and bustle of it all... the exploring of new things, meeting new people and just getting the hell away from the stress. But when it comes down to it, there is no place I would rather live or feel like I could call "home" and truly mean it, than where I live now. And it's not even that this place is that great necessarily (although it is.. beautiful mountains, evergreen trees, lakes, streams.. the view of the sun setting over the Puget Sound.. breath taking) but I have never lived anywhere else and I associate a big part of who I am, as where I am from. And I love to travel (although I haven't done much at all, lately. In fact, I'm 20 and I still have yet to FLY anywhere... not due to any fears of being in an airplane, just lack of time/money/opportunity) and intend to do as much as possible. But part of what I love about visiting other places, is the coming home. Not coming back to the stress, work, bills etc. but coming back HOME. It just wouldn't feel right, packing up and -moving- to another place. I don't think all of me would ever fully get used to it. Under certain circumstances, if I had no say in it, then I guess I'd learn to. But til then, I'm keepin put where I am. =)

    P.S. Blindswine... so far so good in Seattle. ;)

By PetRock on Thursday, August 13, 1998 - 06:32 am:
    I just returned from a long weekend in Montreal and was saying the same thing to my friend -- that it can be depressing leaving a city and a vacation behind. He told me that he deals with that by planning his next vacation....that way he always has something to look forward to, even if it is not for another year.

    Now if only I had enough money to be able to plan on taking a vacation every year.

By Ridin on Thursday, August 13, 1998 - 10:26 am:
    I just got back from a "mini-vacation" yesterday, only about 4 or 5 days in length, but I felt I'd been gone for 4 or 5 weeks. It was nice. Very nice. I needed to get away. But as Nate said, California really is the "best place on earth", and I can't imagine living anywhere else...I'm so proud to call myself a San Diego native. I'm trying to get all my internet buddies to come out here, especially the ones who have never been to Cali, I want to show them around, I KNOW they would love it. How could you not. It's perfect.

    I'm glad to be home, but was dreading going back to work . . .until I got the goooooood news. I applied for, and will be offered, a Facilities Supervisor position, making about $8K more a year. This means I should be able to afford these long weekend jaunts more often. That's a good thing, I'm thinkin'.

By Carrie Ann on Thursday, August 13, 1998 - 12:46 pm:
    "It's a good thing."
    - Martha Stewart

    High *5*'s to Ridin.. congrats on the job/pay increase. =) That's awesome.

By Liam on Thursday, August 13, 1998 - 02:44 pm:
    Speaking of Martha Stewart, I haven't heard much about her lately. Is she keeping a low profile for some reason or did that toilet tissue topiary project she undertook take a tad bit longer than expected?

By Whet on Thursday, August 13, 1998 - 05:44 pm:
    Congrats Ridin!
    Btw I've never been to california *hint hint*

By Jim aka PajamaBoy on Thursday, August 13, 1998 - 08:48 pm:
    Ridin', babe! Congrats!!! Oh.. and pssst... c'mere... invite Mr. Whet out to see you. He's a real sweetheart.

By Ridin on Thursday, August 13, 1998 - 10:03 pm:
    Why THANK YOU everyone!! You DON'T EVEN KNOW how excited I am to FINALLY be out of the secretarial role I have come to despise. Not that there is anything wrong with it, it allowed me to be gain the skills and experience that qualified for this wunnerful new position, but I think 13 years in that capacity is ENOUGH ALREADY!

    I'm gonna be a boss girly!!!! yippeeeee-kie-yo-kie-yea-kie-yah!!!!!!

    Thanks again you guys.

Asia on Sunday, August 16, 1998 - 08:00 am:

    my first day away, i woke up far too early after an insane drive to get there. it was still dark out and no one else in the house was awake. i leashed up the dogs and took them out walking. walked across route 12-cars passing were few and far between--mostly people going out fishing. walked up sand dunes, probably 30 feet high, down to the beach. it was high tide, still stars in the sky. got to the ocean. it was overwhelming and i doubt that i can do justice in even trying to descibe it, but no matter where i looked there was ocean and sand. south there was the lighthouse. no people, no birds. the feeling of being completely alone was intense and good for my probably broken soul.

    i always get the feeling that i was born in the wrong place, that i got the life that was meant for someone else. that really, what the hell would be so wrong with living in a place where everything closes in the winter and the jobs are all low paying? i dunno. im probbably full of shit. i'd miss what i have if i didnt have it anymore. or maybe i wouldnt. maybe the ocean would fill me in the way i want to believe it will and i'd emerge victorious, an entirely new woman once again.

By Whet on Monday, August 17, 1998 - 08:20 pm:

    You're soul is not broken when you fill other hearts with love.
    I'm glad you're part of this life asia.

By Jimmy osmond on Thursday, August 20, 1998 - 07:27 pm:

    try to run try to hide
    break on through
    to the money'd side


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